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I think my best friend slept with my FWB

Tagged as: Friends, Friends with Benefits, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I think my best friend slept with my friends with benifits. She brings him up alot. How do I find out ? I slept with him two daya ago thimgs were good

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (6 September 2012):

Whatever. He's doing what he wants w both of your bc your're letting him. In a casual relationship, he has every right to do whatever he likes. Obviously, he is....

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 September 2012):

olderthandirt agony auntThere's nothing to see here folks move along there's just a bunch of fantasy sex in delusional minds.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012):

Ciar said exactly what I was going to say, I just want to add I think you should mind your own business really who your friend and he shag is none of your business really. He's only your FWB he can sleep with whoever he wants.

You should be using protection anyway and hopefully he uses protection when shagging other women, so other than that what's the problem? Why do you want to know?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (4 September 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt"Sounds" to me like your "FWB" is acting just as ANY FWB night act.... I don't understand if there is a "question" in here, somewhere.....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou aren't DATING your FWB you are just having sex with him, so you two AREN'T exclusive, which means............. HE can sleep with whomever he likes as well, including your friend.

Now if you don't like that... then FWB is not for you.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2012):

If you want to know whether they slept with each other or not, ask them, not that you have a right to know: FWB is a no-strings arrangement so both he and your friend are free to do what they like and you don’t have any right to be upset about it. If you’re starting to get emotionally attached to this guy, call off the arrangement and keep your distance from him. A classic case of why friends with benefits simply doesn’t work.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (4 September 2012):

YouWish agony auntYeah. FWB means No Strings Attached. What does it matter if your best friend sleeps with him? You have no relationship with him, you both just use each other for no-emotion sex.

However, if that seems a bit too crowded for you, then end the arrangement with the guy. No big deal, because there are 500 other guys who would love a FWB arrangement, though I wouldn't do it if I were you.

This is definitely why FWB's are horrible, because someone, usually the girl, starts developing feelings and false hope that it'll turn into an actual relationship, and when it eventually happens that he'll sleep with anything that moves, then hurt sets in.

Yeah, again, I'd leave him to her, because it almost sounds borderline emotionally incestuous, since I know that I love my best friend like a sister anyways. Gross!

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntThis demonstates exactly why the whole FWB set up is NEVER going to work for females.

When you have sex with a man you release certain hormones that bond you to that person and you will inadvertantly start to develop feelings of attachment. When he sleeps with other females or gets close to them, you will develop feelings of jealousy and rejection and that is going to start a chain reaction of struggles and troubles.

This is a natural human trait which is going to eventually hurt you, that is why sensible women would never put themselves in this position and prefer to stick with monogamous relationships.

Women want love, trust, respect and loyalty...FWB arrangements provides none of that...it only provides:

Temporary sexual gratification which is very short lived.

I would let your friend have him, find yourself someone else who is serious about loving you and just wants one on one.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (4 September 2012):

rcn agony auntI agree with the other poster. It doesn't matter, because they are a FWB.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (4 September 2012):

Ciar agony auntWhy do you want to know? The whole point of friends with benefits is the no strings attached sex. No strings means no obligations. That means he can sleep with whomever he pleases and he doesn't have to tell you and you have no right to complain. The same applies to you. You can sleep with whomever you like and you don't have to tell him either.

Your FWB is not your property which means your best friend is free to use him too.

I understand you don't like it, but that's the arrangement you made with him. This is one of the downsides.

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