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Why doesn't my man trust me in the sight of other men?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been in a relationship with this guy for some years now and I don 't think he trust me. I don't understand why but every time I come to his house and we could be standing out side and a group of guys came over to his sisters house to drink and play cards,all of a sudden he started playing with me sexually.The hugging,kissing,and almost wanting to have sex with me outside because he saw these guys.So he winds up carrying me in the house we made love and that was that.The next day his sister's boyfriend came over to play cards everybody having a good time he asked me to come in for a minute I did and he give me oral sex and I almost couldn't make it back to the gathering being so blown away.What is really going on in my man's head when he sees other men?Why all the sex?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI think it's part the fact that he is MARKING his territory in front of those guys and want YOU to know what you got, so you don't even consider straying.

I agree with YouWish it's rather5 benign - you are getting something out of it, so honestly I would just enjoy it. Unless it becomes "too" much.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (16 September 2012):

YouWish agony auntThere are actually two things at play here:

1. His insecurity causes him to start hovering around you like a dog hovers around a bone and snarls at any other dog who even looks like they want to take the bone away

and

2. His wanting to make love to you is his effort to get you satisfied to the point where you'll not be tempted by other guys. It's like when you're invited over to a Thanksgiving dinner, but you just left one, so you're so stuffed that you don't want to eat another bite. Post-coital people tend to be less interested in sex than those who aren't.

This has way more to do with him than you. It's his way of dealing with his own insecurity by marking his territory publicly with you (public displays of affection), and making you not want to look elsewhere. He's afraid that he's not good enough, and that you'll find someone better than him, or someone better will cross your path and try to take you away.

In the scope of many behaviors that insecure guys display, this is pretty benign. If you don't want to go have sex right then, just tell him you want to wait until that night or whatever.

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