A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I'm in a rather unique situation right now. I'm in a long distance relationship with my current girlfriend and she is an avid roleplayer on various forums with multiple people. The problem lies whenever she romantically roleplays with someone. It really gets me upset to see that, even though she keeps telling me "It's my character that feels for them, not me!". Would I be in the wrong if I asked her to stop? I've tried to just do nothing, but I can't help but feel my blood boil every time it happens.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (7 September 2012):
*gf
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 September 2012):
Let me explain something about text based RPG's.
I participated in them for years and honestly it's nothing more than writing a story with equal input of other people. I don't know which sites your bf is on, but my sites have plotting boards where people start threads to brainstorm about plot summaries and such. It's not always about boy-meets-girl. Some threads really have intricate plots.
I think Text-based RPG is a harmless activity. I never had any problems in relationships with them If you consider it to be threatening, how do you feel about people who are able to pen down detective novels, thrillers, etc.? Do you get anxious when your gf reads a romance novel from the 1st person perspective?
I am very different from the characters I create and I gather it's the same for many other rp'ers. That's the escapism part: being whomever you want to be. I tend to be a very nice, almost mellow person in real life. I get along with almost everyone. So it's interesting to create a character that is anything but that.
I play characters from both sexes, which means my male character gets involved with girls. Does that mean I'm a lesbian? No. What I'm writing has nothing to do with my current life or relationship, and everything to do with my creativity.
The percentage of explicit sex scenes written on these sites is generally very small, unless the site is specifically geared towards that. It's usually handled the way it is in most movies: suggested, not shown.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): Thank you everyone for your input. I spoke with my girlfriend and she understands where I'm coming from and has decided to end the role plays. I will certainly be keeping an eye on things, but it looks like there was an understanding met. Thank you all for your input and for helping me re-affirm my own feelings.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): Hello I'm the original poster of this and I guess I should offer some clarification on the matter:
Sexual Romantic Roleplay:
She has actually outright refused people requests for sexual roleplay citing our relationship. it's mainly just the romance aspect.
How we met:
We did meet online on a community website that admitedly; we were doing some flirty roleplaying. I will be talking to her about it when she comes online
MMO:
also further clarifying it's not an MMO that she's playing. It's text based roleplaying on various forums, message boards and blogging sites.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 September 2012):
 i have very mixed feelings about this. as the partner of an MMO player I get it... as a woman who plays sims online and pretends to kiss others I get it...
as a jealous LDR partner I get that too...
are romantic roles plays mandatory for her MMO? if not, then you could ask her to stop... if she refuses... then you have a choice to make...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2012):
 I agree with IP. The lines get VERY blurred and honestly it seems to me like she expects you just just "play" along too. Which makes her quite selfish and not at all respectful.
I have to ask, did you two met through online role-play?
I think it would be fair enough to ask her to not do "romantic" role-play, I just seriously doubt she will stop. She is getting WAY more out of that then your relationship I'm guessing.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (6 September 2012):
Find someone who can appreciate you in person. This is something she would find it too hard to give up even for you.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (6 September 2012):
 When it comes to the world of online romantic role-play, those lines between the "character" and the real person, often get blurred. I've been there, and I've seen the damage it can do. You're well within your rights to ask her to stop.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 September 2012):
 You're definitely in the right to ask her to stop. How would she like it if you were of cybering with another woman?
Unless she's an actress practicing for a film, or she's in acting school doing sanctioned role play in public, then she's got no business going off in private or online roleplaying with others, because it's not really role play then. It's flirting and making excuses.
I have done role playing before. When I was a bit younger, I was on a role playing site as a video game character, but there were definite boundaries for me that I wouldn't cross. I always asked myself, If my husband acted this way with another woman, even another woman character, how would I feel about it?
There is such a thing as loyalty, even in role playing, especially if there's a real person behind the supposed "love interest". Ask her if she would be okay with you doing to another woman what other guys are doing to her.
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