A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a question for guys. I have this really beatifull girlfriend. She is a model type: 5.6". Very thin, with big boobs, blond, blue eyes, pretty smile, very friendly. We go out with her and another girl sometimes. Me and that other girl are mArried with kids, but my girlfriend is not, and she is looking.We went to couple of the bars and club this weekend, and she is always hit on all the time, she gets lots lots of attention from guys.She dances and talks a lll nite, but they never never Ask for her phone number. It's like all they want is to to go home with her that night and nothing else.She also works and surrounded by guys, lots of them are single. Nothing. She has a good job, her own place, nice car, not that she needs to depend on someone. I just don't understand how being so beatifull, smart, successful, she cant find someone . She doesn't go on dates for the past 6 months she said. I asked her why, she said , that no one that she liked asked her. There was couple of offers, but they were guys much older than her, and some really goofy looking, so she wasn't interested.I got married very early, and I m also pretty but not even close to her. She is by far prettier than most people that I know. I don't know how people find mates these days, but if she can't find anyone, what about the rest of us, who are more or less average and don't get this much attention from guys?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): Has your friend tried approaching men?
I know it's a bit of a role reversal, but truth be told, women have become obsolete nowadays. With the advent of online porn and video games, there's no need to chase women, trying to convince them that you're the man for them, above and beyond everyone else. After years of countless rejection, most guys are content with just going with the flow. So if a woman is beautiful and and she gets attention, but no one approaches her, it's because it's not worth the hassle of being rejected and/or trying to 'woo' her so that her eyes stay focused on her mate for the time being.
Sorry for the harsh truth.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Of course she is looking for someone to settle down with. We all in our mid thirties, clock is ticking. She wants to have a couple of kids at that age, and with not even having a boyfriend this task is becoming very uncertain.when we are in our 20 s we all think, o, have plenty of time for family, but time flies fast, and at 35 she really have few years left to have kids. Of course plenty of women do have babies late these days, but many of them have infertilitybproblems because of age.It is her biggest concern now.My husband also surprised that she cant find anyone. He finds her very pleasant, good natured girl. Unfortunatelly we don't have any singl friends to match her with. Everyone by this age is married. My husband is 40. All his friends are around there and married long with kids. That's the problem. Men her age who are still single want someone younger. They are looking at 20 something girls, or very early thirties. She goes already under different category. Now she is looking at men who are in their late thirties, early or even mid forties. Chances are that most already married.And those who are not , either divorced and don't want anymore kids or convinced bachelors.She told me, she noticed lately that it became much more difficult to find someone eligible and someone that she likes and also age appropriate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): If she looks for a guy to have a relationship with in night clubs on drunken nights out, obviously the only people she's going to get attention from is guys who only want a one night stand, and nothing else. People always assume that if a beautiful woman goes into a night club she's looking to pull.
On another note, if a genuine guy is looking for a genuine woman to have a genuine relationship with, he has to base his decision who to try out based on personality as well, not just looks, and perhaps your girlfriend doesn't exhibit certain personality attributes that genuine guys are looking for...or maybe guys assume that she is just a materialistic and shallow person because of her blonde hair, big boobs, blue eyes and generally overall super model appearance?
Who knows, but she's doing something wrong clearly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): O, I don't know about GYM. For me is its like another bar. Then if it doesn't work out , she ll Need to see this guy in gym over and over again?
Thats true about bars that people ussually looking to hook up, but not a single guy there just occasionally not looking to hook up ? Ever? She told me if its not that night they don't care if they see you at all again.
She does belongs to couple of groups. Thats how I met her, at this foreign language club. She doesn't even speak the language, but joined anyway, hoping to meet someone.
She belonged to several matching sites, and they were huge dissapoinment. She said, she waisted so much times going on all kind of dates. People lie about themselves, put pictures on their profile, but then when she meets this guy he is not even recognizable in life.
See. Thats the thing, she is very approachable. She is always smiling, and flirty, she gives all the signals out that she is available. I know what you mean of acting aloof. My husband told me that when he wanted to talk to me the first time he didn't know how to approach me as I acted very aloof and not interested, he even thought I had a boyfriend.she is not like that at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): "I just don't understand how being so beatifull, smart, successful, she cant find someone ."
Second previous opinions re bar hopping, and as a guy I will agree with Eddie85's take that perhaps being so beautiful, smart and successful may be exactly why she can't find someone: guys who should and would be interested don't bother to express interest on false assumption that somehow they're not good enough for and she'd reject them or even humiliate them for daring to approach her.
Also agree with previous suggestions regarding where your friend can find compatable guys; in cruder yet more colorful metaphoric terms, I offer legendary late shock comic Sam Kinison's advice to a third-world country's starving population, "Live where the food is!"
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 Yep, location, location, location! Bars are for skirt chasers who want one night stands. Work is for working and not soap opera romances that jeopardize careers.
Eddie's right -- the gym, a hobby, charity work, a regular outting has a better chance of finding compatible guys. Also, she may be pretty, but is she approachable? You said that "There was couple of offers, but they were guys much older than her, and some really goofy looking, so she wasn't interested."...is she picky or coming off as aloof? Maybe her rejection of other guys intimidated some possible guys from asking.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (10 September 2012):
 My advice: quit looking in bars for love. Usually bar hook-ups involve one nights stands. This isn't always the case, but most people in those types of places are looking for hook-ups, not serious relationships. Also, you have a higher incidence of finding a relationship with a drunk in bars.
Also, many guys are intimidating by pretty women. Especially guys who have been shot down in the past -- they see a pretty woman and figure they'd never have a chance with someone so pretty -- so sometimes being pretty can be a curse as only egotistical jerks will hit on her.
As far as works goes, work is work. A lot of guys don't want to date women from work on account of sexual harassment or they worry that when the relationship goes south that they'll have to still see her every day. Believe me, I know from experience that work is a miserable place when you see your ex there.
I would encourage your friend to start a hobby that involves other people. Join a gym, train for a half marathon, go to concerts, find classes to go to. People of similar interests will be there and she'll likely meet someone of notable character. Also, she shouldn't be afraid to ask a guy out -- it doesn't have to be a formal date -- just a get together someplace casual to see where it leads. Many guys are timid and want the girl to make the first move.
Also, in this day and age, dating websites are a boon to those looking for relationships. You can screen people more closely as well as spell out exactly what you are looking for -- and what you aren't. More and more relationships seem to start by the use of those websites.
Believe me, there are PLENTY of men out there looking for a relationship. I think if your girlfriend is in the right place at the right time, Mr Right will appear.
Good luck.
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