A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,Me and my boyfriend are seeing each other for 5 years now why doesn’t he want to marry me I ask him why? He immediately says it’s just that I can’t marry you he told me then I ask him do you love me. And he said yes; what the matter in this relationship between us? He deliberately made me pregnant and I lost the babies. the problem is he's a married man I have told him so many time forget me, he seem to called me many time ,what is wrong with the relationship? How can I commit him to marry me? I ask him before if he satisfied with her. He said no; is it alright just to leave out of his life after great 5 years relationship, then what do I have to do? I really love him but how to make him realizing that I want to be a part of his life partner not just his girlfriend, and why does he said he loves me like wife? to him we never married?
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 September 2012):
I am sorry but you are wasting your time with this man. He will never marry you. You can not force someone to do something he does not want to do. Forget this man and move on with your life.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 He is not your boyfriend, he is your married lover . Married men don't have girlfriends, they have mistresses - and this is what you are and , apparently, what he wants you to be and what works best for him.
I am sure that he is not stupid, and that he has realized already ALL that you want him to realize : that you love him, that you want to be part of his life and not just a bit on the side etc.etc.... But he does not want to make changes because he likes the status quo- no wonder.He gets to eat his cake and keep it too. He gets the stability of a family and their shared past,- and from you he gets excitement and intrigue and a bit of adrenaline, without having to incur in any social stigma.
It is very convenient situation for him, and to change that he'd need a stronger motivation than his current feelings toward you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Can you not get birth control? To prevent pregnancies? And can you not see that you need to tell this man to stay out of your life so you CAN met someone for you.
He can't marry YOU - he IS married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): Don't be the other woman. You've spent five years waiting for something that will probably never happen & even if it did, how could you trust him. I feel sorry for you & his wife, he is using you both.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 September 2012):
 You're not his girlfriend. He is not your boyfriend.
You are his mistress, and he is a lying, cheating married man.
Rule number one: A married man's words are utterly and completely worthless. Loves you "as a wife"? Have you seen how he shows love to his actual wife? He goes behind her back and sleeps around.
The only person he loves is himself, and he'll say whatever it takes to keep you in his bed and keep you from demanding too much from him.
Does he care if you got pregnant? Nope. He's happy you lost the babies because it keeps him from explaining to his wife that he made another woman pregnant. Did he pressure you into getting an abortion?
You need to get out of this while you can, or you will be the sex toy of a disgusting cheater. It's only a matter of time before he discards you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): He deliberately made u pregnant and u lost the babies( plural?)?.
He can't marry you because he is already married, unless you live in a country where its allowed to have several wives, its against the law to marry one woman and to stay married to another.
He may be not that much satisfied sit his wife, but he obviously doesn't want to divorce her. What's there not to get? You are his mistress, that's all to it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): "Me and my boyfriend are seeing each other for 5 years now why doesn’t he want to marry me I ask him why?"
He doesn't want to marry you because he's already married and he has no desire to disrupt the life he currently enjoys by divorcing his wife, he just wants to continue having sex with you on the side at his pleasure and convenience.
"He deliberately made me pregnant and I lost the babies."
You deliberately made yourself pregnant when you engaged in consensual unprotected sex with a married man. Sorry for your losses, but otherwise he'd have already dumped you and you'd be stuck raising his kids completely on your own with no help from him.
"I really love him but how to make him realizing that I want to be a part of his life partner not just his girlfriend,"
He doesn't want you to be his life partner, he just wants to continue having sex with you on the side at his pleasure and convenience.
"and why does he said he loves me like wife?"
So you'll continue having sex with him on the side at his pleasure and convenience while he continues living with the wife whom he already has and will never divorce to marry you. Considering how he treats the wife he already has (and will never divorce), I wouldn't consider it much of a compliment.
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