| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've met a lovely gentleman. He is 54 and we have been seeing each other for a few months. We are both ready to take the relationship to the next step but when we get down to it he seems to ejaculate within seconds of me touching him. We have tried taking things real slow but it doesn't seem to help. He says its his age and I excite him too much but I barely 'handle' him down there and he shoots his load. How are we ever going to have sex? I've tried to get him to come back to life but he just doesn't have it in him. Is there anything I can do? He says he hasn't had many sexual partners could this be why he gets so excited?
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (12 November 2012):
 At his age, being with someone half his age - can hardly blame him. It's the sort of thing that happens with guys in that age group (one of my partners is over 65 and its much the same). I usually cum within five minutes with oral or penetration, so I am normally able to enjoy it even with oldre men, but you'll have to work out some way where he gets you off first for a while. After a few months things may even out, but I don't think he'll ever be a marathon-sex-man.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Most guys his age can't do it more than once in a short period of time. Sadly, it is one of the curses of age. Also, being that he is older, his control has weakened.
I do agree with shrodingerscat in that you can extend foreplay where he pleasures you first. This can be done with toys, oral or manual stimulation.
Also, you can suggest to him that he takes care of himself through masturbation earlier in the day. This will reduce the chances of him having an issue since he'll be less primed.
If you aren't already, urge him to wear a condom. This will reduce some of the sensitivity.
Your relationship is still new, so his excitement is definitely understandable. Also for a man of his age to be with someone so much younger only compounds the issue. If it continues, urge him to see a urologist. They can proscribe medications, show him exercises (Kegel exercises) or make other suggestions.
Hopefully in time his condition will improve itself, but it might take some patience and work on his behalf.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 November 2012):
 Schrodinger is right. Until his control improves, you should have your orgasm before he ever enters you, so that you're completely fulfilled.
One thing he might want to do is have an insurance orgasm, meaning about an hour or a little more, he should solo-orgasm, because the second time will give him a lot more control.
Remember, an orgasm is an orgasm. It's a crime that women even think that one kind is inferior to the other. If you achieve one orally or manually or another way, it's just as satisfying. In fact, the vast majority of women either don't or can't have one through intercourse. As you know, a good percentage of that is because the man doesn't take as long.
There are also de-sensitizing creams for the penis as well. Talk to a doctor or make some phone calls, which can help!
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (11 November 2012):
 It could be a myriad of reasons, but the key is to be patient. PIV sex, as in Penis-In-Vagina penetration, shouldn't be the end goal and the only thing you consider "sex". There are many other things that you can do with him and be satisfied, such as oral sex, mutual masturbation, or him using toys on you. Explore other methods of enjoying intimacy while practicing being comfortable and calm in a sexual environment. Advise him to masturbate slowly and with a condom on in order to train himself to ejaculate slower. With time, it should help.
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