A
male
age
30-35,
*akeYourPick
writes:Just want to make this question as short as possible (although I can just be biting my own tongue on this)Anyway I have reunited with my first girlfriend again after 7 years when we got together everything was cool, but she isn't the type to talk much on facebook when I message her because she tells me she doesn't know what to talk about after. Recently we got into an argument, no more like she got mad at me from what I thought was her ex bf (her baby daddy) wasn't the guy. She showed me who the father of the kid was. That the guy I suspected was someone she was her brother that she was raised with him when they were little. Mind you I don't know all her family only her sister, so yea I know it was stupid of me to suspect him, so she told me that the her kid calls him daddy. That the real dad doesn't visit him much, but she proceeds on getting mad at me telling me that I shouldn't go around claiming to know her personal things. That I was immature, and that I need to learn to ask questions like an educated person. Anyway I told her that she didn't need to answer, if she didn't want to. That I wasn't acting immaturely that I was in a calm mood, and was speaking to her with a normal tone it only had my curiosity. Any who before that she had lost her phone so I bought her, and sent her one the battery was low so it died along the way I didn't give it to UPS till 3 days after.So she told me that the battery was no longer working. That she was going to buy another I did apologize to her like 2 days after (figured she needed the space) I admitted that I kinda crossed the line by suspecting the guy to have been the father when it wasn't him. However she told me if something were to be bothering me to tell her, but tell her without stirring any arguments. So I asked her yesterday if she was okay (I think she got the cellphone battery today since her fb statuses came from the phone I sent) suddenly she deactivates her fb, I didn't freak out I realized she spoke to me through her friends cell, so maybe she didn't want to depend too much on her. Anyway my question is it's been a day since I spoke to her, yet she reactivated her fb today should should I talk to her tomorrow? I mean it's late atm, but should I give it another whirl, or should I give space for a little bit? Sorry for the long confusing question, and thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012): Wow this is very confusing and hard to follow, the way you have written this does not make sense. But if YOUWISH has recapped this right I agree, she is feeling smothered. How long have you been back together? If it has not been that long maybe she is feeling like it is causing to much drama in her life right now, esp when she has a child to think about. I think she is backing away from you from what I can gather because it is all just to much for her.
I hope this helps, you wrote a lot but it was very confusing to read.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 November 2012):
 It's slightly confusing, so I'll recap to see if I understood it correctly. Is this what happened?
After 7 years, you renewed a friendship with a woman who had a past relationship that resulted in a child, right? (interesting that you didn't mention the gender of her kid, but that's little consequence).
There are two other men in her life that was part of her life, one being a "brother figure" (raised like siblings but not siblings by blood, right?) and the other being the actual ex-boyfriend? Her child called the "brother figure" Daddy because the ex isn't in her life?
I have this right? You thought she was still in contact with her ex based on her Facebook communication with the guy, and I'm sure you weren't happy that she doesn't say much to you on FB, but apparently was affectionate and friendly towards who you thought was the ex, but was the brother figure, and this caused the argument?
You said that she showed you who the father of her child was. Is she (well, was she until she deleted her FB) friend status with the ex still? Is that how she showed you?
This is pretty simple. You thought she was paying attention to an ex more than you, so you got jealous and had it out with her, only to find out that you were wrong about the specific guy. You bought her a cell phone? Were you checking through her texts and numbers that she called trying to catch her cheating?
You need to work on your jealousy issues, I think. You're smothering her, and she's backing away from you.
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