A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my husband is living in the same house as I am with his girl friend. He threatened me yesterday saying that he will not give me alimony and I will either be going back to my country or living n jaiL if I do not work and move out and he will be filing for a divorce. what should I do?is that possible? can he do that?
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (2 June 2013):
 Hi
Would it be a such bad thing to go back to your country and family ?
You have no job so no income, your husband has moved his girlfriend in, life is not good. How long has this gone on, how long have you been married? Yes he can file for divorce, your marriage is clearly over.
GET A LAWYER, you need to do this to sort out alimony, your husband thinks you will be too worried to get one, but you have to get one.
Listen to the other Aunts about where you get free advice in America about Green Cards,divorce and Visas
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Can you move out on your own and get a job if you stay legally married to him? I mean, you don't have to live with him since obviously you two don't love each other and he already has got a new girlfriend. But can you just keep the legal marriage so you can legally get a job and start supporting yourself financially, and then apply for permanent residency on your own and then divorce him in the future?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 June 2013):
 OH! I forgot one more thing!
If you are sent to jail, get your lawyer to petition for house arrest/home monitoring. This means that you will be fitted with an ankle band and will be tracked, but you can go free until your court date. So no, you won't rot in a jail cell unless you're also a felon, and you don't sound like one.
Your husband will STILL have to honor the marriage contract, meaning you can file for alimony if he files divorce. I don't know if it can be enforced if you are deported, but it's still worth talking to your lawyer.
If you cannot afford a lawyer? Go here!
http://www.aila.org/content/default.aspx?docid=15767
This is the site to American Immigration Lawyers Association. There are Pro Bono services and representation (pro bono = free) to help people in your situation. Find out what kind of services you can get to in your state. Also, there might be a Workforce Center to look into to piggyback some employment with as well as housing too. I know people who specialize in just that sort of thing.
Do not ever be afraid of your husband's threats. There is hope for you! I really wanted to get that message out to you. It's going to be a long, hard road, but you can achieve your dream in freedom! Just stay strong!
I don't often do this, and my apologies to any mods if this breaks rules, but if you don't feel comfortable offering more details here on this post, you're welcome to PM me. I know some other resources you can tap into as well, but I'd need more details about the specifics. If you don't feel comfortable doing that (which I totally understand!!!), just know that my thoughts are with you. I've been through this before on behalf of my Bulgarian friend, and I went to court with another friend from Serbia in acquiring her green card.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 June 2013):
I have a friend of mine who got stung by immigration. She came with her parents and had a residency visa in high school. She graduated, got a student visa, went to college, got married and had two kids with an American guy. Her visa expired, and she had an immigration lawyer and was going through the process of becoming a citizen. It takes years and years.
She was arrested suddenly by INS and in the end, they deported her for 2 years to her home country in Bulgaria. She was apart from her husband and her kids for that long. He applied for Hardship, because it was originally going to be 10 years banned fro the USA. Long story short, she is now a US Citizen, and we all threw a huge party to celebrate something that took 8 years to happen.
You need to file a Hardship using an immigration lawyer if you're married. Are you taking steps to become a citizen here? You are married, so he cannot skip out on alimony, nor can he threaten you like that. You can file for your green card (will take some time...average 3-5 years), and talk to a lawyer to gain a new visa. You may or may not get it. It actually depends on what country you are from.
Good luck. He can make your life hard on you, and he can get you thrown in jail if your visa has expired. Go get an immigration lawyer and do research online and through your state court system! There is no quick solution!
If you have kids with him, that's even better. They are US citizens.
Bottom line, put your husband aside for one moment. Decide on what your future goals are. If you want to be a US citizen, no matter what he does, take steps to make it happen. It will take a long time, and it's possible you could be banned for 10 years from the US, but whatever you do, don't let your husband hold you as an emotional prisoner. Your happiness is worth you fighting for it.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (2 June 2013):
Hi there. Are you both from another country, and living in the USA?
Or, is he an American, and you are from another country?
And are you a permanent American citizen?
Or, are you on a visa of some kind?
If your husband is theatening to turn you in to the authorities, well then perhaps you have overstayed your visa and are illegally living in the USA.
And if that is the case, well then he probably CAN report you to immigration.
First of all though, you really need to check what your USA citizenship status is at the present time.
And for this you will need to check your visa paperwork and your passport also.
And to work in the USA, you require a greencard.
I don't know much about this, however you can find out by getting onto the internet and doing a search about it, just to clarify what is required.
From what your husband has said to you, it sounds like your marriage is going through some problems, if he is mentioning divorce to you.
And exactly what is the situation with the girlfriend?
Why are you both living there with her?
Is it just some arrangement he has made with her?
What is the situation here?
Could you clarify it for me please?
Then I may be able to assist you further.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Keep all written emails, letters and texts which can backup your evidence against his word.
THIS!!!!!!
Keep all wedding pictures!!!! written letters, and all pictures of your relationship to prove it is for good reason( LOVE)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Dear,
I am an immigration law student. Tell you what, he is your husband have you filed for your Green Card?
What he is doing to you is considered ABUSE on this country, emotional abuse, his threats and the situation he put you in (living with a girlfriend) is horrible and condemable.
Please get an appointment with an immigration LAWYER on your area that speaks your language, NO, he is lying you will NOT go to jail, and you will NOT be deported.
again did you guy filed for your green card?
Please googleVisaJourney, is a great free resource for immigration matters. (this is not advertisement)
Also, PLEASE PLEASE GO TO A LAWYERRRRR! Most give first consultation for free, and are willing to help you. If you cannot leave the home go online, and call them up, explain you cannot leave the house.
If your husband is mistreating you, YOU HAVE RIGHTS. Look into the VISA U on Google and you will see many examples.
BEST OF LUCK!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): Get a lawyer! Find out your rights. Dont take what he says as being the truth. You are married, therefor he cant make you move out as its you marrital home. Stay put, and if you married him out of love then it cannot be seen as an arranged marraige. Keep all written emails, letters and texts which can backup your evidence against his word.
How long have you been married? When did he move the other woman in? You must be living a nightmare!
Get whats due to you and then get a divorce.
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