A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can someone help me understand?I'm just getting to know this guy and our relationship is growing by the day. But he said something really odd and I couldn't reply except say "oh ok" because I didn't really understand.He said "I think in another lifetime we would be inseperable"Does it mean that won't happen in this lifetime?Is he not seeing a future?Or did he mean in the future?Am I overthinking?Please help!! Lol Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (19 June 2014):
 He means that there's some obstacle stopping you from becoming inseparable. Ask him what it is.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 June 2014):
 He is just sweet talking you.....he's available for sex in this life but nothing more.
Your living in the here and now, so let him go home to his wife/girlfriend and sweet talk her.
At your age you should be wise to these elaborate quotes.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 June 2014):
 So is he single or married? That would have a lot of bearing on the comment he'd made.
In reading the other aunt's answers I realized I'd made the assumption that you two were starting the dating process as single people.
If this guy is married, then his comment means nothing. It's just sweet talk to keep you on the hook until, well, you are in your 30s, right? So you've got some life experience, don't you?
How about a follow up with a bit more info so we can make something that looks a smidge more like an educated guess?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 June 2014):
 I can guess but I can also draw from experience. My ex said this to me when we ended our 12 year relationship. We both loved each other and desperately wanted to be together, but the circumstances were just not right and they were never going to be right as far into the future as we could see. Its impossible to have a relationship when you are at opposite ends of the world..and thats the way it was going to have to be. It meant we just couldn't be together. Neither of us could give up our life where we were and trying to make a long distance relationship work 1/2 a world apart just wasn't feasible.
If in doubt..ASK!! Why stay in the dark or ask total strangers.. ASK THE MAN!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2014): That means; not now, but if things were different (as in, another time or place) perhaps we would be perfect for each other.
Don't expect things to go further than the friend-zone.
In the future; if someone says something you don't quite understand, ask them to clarify it for you. Sometimes people use terms and phrases out of context. No-one knows better what he means by that statement than he does. Don't get your hopes up.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 June 2014):
 Maybe in the UK, that means something different, but when I hear "in another life", it means he's not able to be in a close relationship. I felt that way when I was 19 and got into a car accident (was rear-ended), and after giving the particular info while waiting for the police, I started chatting with the driver of the car that hit me. She was my age and was going to another college. The police took 15 minutes or so to get here, and we were chatting away and laughing. In another life, we would have been pretty good friends.
If a guy said that, I'd wonder if he were married or attached or had *just* broken up with the love of his life and didn't feel emotionally available, like Mark said.
Either that or he's a drama king and thinks the world is some romantic comedy filled with impossible relationships and he's grooming you to be friends with benefits and a dirty little secret.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 June 2014):
Maybe in the UK, that means something different, but when I hear "in another life", it means he's not able to be in a close relationship. I felt that way when I was 19 and got into a car accident (was rear-ended), and after giving the particular info while waiting for the police, I started chatting with the driver of the car that hit me. She was my age and was going to another college. The police took 15 minutes or so to get here, and we were chatting away and laughing. In another life, we would have been pretty good friends.
If a guy said that, I'd wonder if he were married or attached or had *just* broken up with the love of his life and didn't feel emotionally available, like Mark said.
Either that or he's a drama king and thinks the world is some romantic comedy filled with impossible relationships and he's grooming you to be friends with benefits and a dirty little secret.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (18 June 2014):
 Hello,
Here in the UK when someone says "in another life we would...." it is usually a polite way of saying something cannot happen but you would like it to. For example - a married man may say to a flirty female co-worker he likes "In another life me and you would have got together", as a kind way of saying "if I wasn't married I would be interested but I am so I am not".
How that relates you what your man was saying to you, I cannot answer. However it did suggest that something is (or will) stop you becoming inseperable.
Mark
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2014):
 To me it sounds like something he thought you would like to hear.
But.. I would just ask him to elaborate.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 June 2014):
Instead of sitting there looking confused you could have asked him to clarify. It could have been a good conversation. You can still ask him if you're curious but I can't tell you what it means since it doesn't make a lot of sense.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 June 2014):
It's okay to ask followup questions when you don't understand.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean?"
"Could you elaborate on that?"
It's a useful skill and puts the onus of clarifying on the person making the confusing statement, rather than you spending ages working it out.
It's still okay to ask him about it, you know.
When you are both in a quiet place and calm, you could simply say: "You said something very intriguing to me the other day. ***insert what he said***
"I was caught a bit off guard and now I'm just curious to explore a bit what you meant by that. Is there something that will keep us from becoming closer over time? Assuming the normal progression of a relationship, I mean."
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