A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me?I'm so upset. So my boyfriend has been away studying for a year now and his friend came back and I had bought him his birthday present so I met up my bfs friend and his gf to give the present to him to be given to my bf.He rang me today and said his friend said I'm fat and looks nothing like my pictures.My bf said that's his opinion cause he knows me he's seen videos of me and he's just giving his opinion so he didn't argue with him.That's really rude. So I've put on a few pounds due to stress and medical issues but I am back at the gym and on herbalife.I'm really hurt. Cause I've never being called fat before:( Not every girl is stick thin like his gf. My bf said relationships aren't about looks anyway. But I'm still hurt and kind of ashamed he talked about me like that to my boyfriend. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 June 2014):
 Why on Earth are you chasing him?
Of course he knows what he did. He didn't grow up in a bubble.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 June 2014):
 So...*He* passes an insult to you, and then has the nerve to act all insulted when you call his friend (read: HIM) out on his hurtful comments?
I stand by my former advice. Your boyfriend was the originator of those comments and used his friend as a deflector.
Stick to your guns. Any guy with the gall to insult you through his friend indirectly and then act like a 2-year old when you express outrage over how hurtful that was is no catch as a boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I text my boyfriend that his friend is jealous he has a good girl that loves him so much & that no guy has ever said such hurtful things to me before & I won't take his idiots friends remarks.
And he texted back thanks for the insult. & he's been off with me he didn't speak to me at all yesterday & he didn't answer my calls & is next day late afternoon & I've still not heard from him.
Does he understand how this makes me feel? I'm so hurt:( should I just leave him alone?
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (13 June 2014):
If the friend did indeed say this, then it showed appalling lack of judgment and manners to repeat it to you. It also shows that your boyfriend's friend doesn't hold either you or him in high regard.
On the other hand, it's entirely possible that your boyfriend made it up, or took what was meant to be an innocent statement and twisted it to suit his own ends.
Your boyfriend is not a quality guy and like, Honeypie, I too believe he wants you to feel a little insecure so that you'll go that extra mile to please him and keep him around.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 June 2014):
I agree with Honeypie about that being a possible answer. I also have a theory as well that's different but still in the spirit of Honeypie's thoughts on this:
Have you ever seen little kids in a fight in elementary school or the mean girls in middle school? Many of them like to use the term "Nobody likes you" or "so-and-so said you were stupid" when in reality, it was the person themselves who used the illusion of peer pressure to make the person they're fighting with feel bad.
My point is, it's possible that his friend either never said that at all, or HE said that to his friend and then instead of telling you directly that he's not happy with you gaining weight, he said that "his friend said". I think that's your boyfriend's way of saying that he wants you to lose weight while making his friend look like the bad guy but himself the hero for supposedly sticking up for you.
There's a possibility that his friend may have actually said it, but I think your boyfriend agrees to a point, or he wouldn't have said anything to you. You hadn't seen your boyfriend for a long time, and he wanted you to know...without looking like the bad guy, that you have gained weight.
I say screw all of them. Do what you need to do for yourself, and tell your boyfriend not to pass hurtful things his friends say along to you if he cares for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 June 2014):
 I would honestly worry more about WHY your BF thought it was appropriate, to TELL you that his friend called you fat. In my book that isn't right. The friend doesn't know you and what he thinks is freaking irellevant.
WHO cares about what the friend thinks? WHY care?
YOUR BF should have kept his trap shot.
My guess is... you BF likes you feeling a tad insecure about your looks. Because it makes you put more effort into pleasing HIM.
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