A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:HiyaSo I asked out this boy as a week before he said he liked me and I told him i liked him back!! When I asked him out he said he would think about it and tell me in next lesson so i waited and got all my hopes up! The he told me that he didn't want a gf at the moment but he really really liked me and I hope u understand!! I was so gutted as I really like him! I mean why would he put my hopes up then let me down! So I really don't know what to do now?? Please help!! :( P.s. take me seriously even though I younger than 16 or whatever please!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 it seems to me that a large part of the problem may be the current assumption that if you go on one date then an exclusive relati9onship magically exists. Let's face it an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship contract is not going to be signed between classes in the school hall. He wasn't ready for that commitment. The fact that he took time to think about it means that he wanted to go ahead anyway. Fortunately for both of you he decided to wait until he is ready.
Now if your intention was not to stake you claim in an exclusive relationship, it would be appropriate you you to pursue this further with him. Hey, fella, I didn't mean we had to be boyfriend girlfriend, I just wanted to spend some time with you and get to know you better.
Right now that isn't a possibility without re negotiation.
In my Old fashioned opinion. At your age (assuming 15) a friendly get to know you daytime date is appropriate. An exclusive committed relationship is 2 years away.
FA
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 We take you seriously : you got your first taste of rejection and that's a serious thing .
But not a terrible one:). I think there was no intention to hurt you or to make fun of you , it's just that you two go by different languages, in a sense. When he says that he likes you, - he means that he likes looking at you because you are pretty, and/or that he likes being around you because you are such a cool girl , etc.etc.- anyway he does like you. But, while when you like a boy automatically start thinking in terms of going on dates, being bf/ gf, being a couple... that does not have the same appeal to him. If he is your age 13-15... not many boys want a Gf at that age, they want to be kids and be free to just romp around with their buddies, stay single and maybe start experimenting with girls , but without anything too heavy and couplish. You are disappointed , of course, but at least he was honest , he could have said yes , just to gain some experience with a girl, or to impress his pals... and then have dumped you after a week or two.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 June 2014):
 Of course we'd take you seriously!
He may be more interested in someone else, sorry to say. Guys mature slower than girls (most of them), and it's not uncommon for guys to like more than one girl. At yours and his age, the hormones are raging crazy.
What do you do now? Just blow it, and him, off. Yes, it's embarrassing to be turned down, but shake it off. It'll actually be a blessing in disguise when a guy 10 times better than this one feels just as many butterflies about going out with you that you did with this other guy who just lost out.
So just shake it off. His pain, your gain.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2014):
 You might be ready to date, but he isn't. Don't forget for all their bolster... boy mature a little slower then girls.
Maybe he was not trying to string you along, but was really thinking it over since he likes you, but HE was honest with you. He could have started to date you and THEN turned you down.
What do you do? YOU accept that he isn't ready. It's that simple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2014): We take everyone seriously on DC. You took your time to write, and your post is important to us.
Boys at thirteen can be shy, but will not admit it. He said he liked you, and he probably does. He just isn't ready for a girlfriend, and he knows you want a boyfriend.
Next time, if you ask a boy out; and he has to think about it. Don't get your hopes up. Don't expect a boy to want to be your boyfriend, just because he says he likes you.
You have to give him enough time to figure out how much he really likes you, before he can decide if he wants you for his girlfriend. You're so young that you don't know that yet.
Being only 13, you have to learn that people can like you; but maybe not as much as you may like them. You are just looking for a boy to call your boyfriend. You have to slow it down a bit. Sorry, but you really should be older.
First, let the boy get to know you better. You still have to wait and see how much he likes you.
Don't be too anxious. You may not like every boy who says he likes you, and you might not want to be the girlfriend of the first boy who asks you. You need to think about it first. You have a right to say no, even if it might hurt his feelings.
Don't be hurt because he isn't ready for a girlfriend yet. Not just you, any girl. He still likes you. He admitted that much. He's just not as mature as you are.
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