A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband travels and has a gambling issue. I've already took out a 70000 second mortgage to pay off his credit cars before we were married. After we were married he continued to gamble several thousands dollars of our money. He said he was grieving his fathers death. He promised he would stop but he stilled gambled enough though he "supposedly" gave me his credit cards. I get alerts from our bank and then I go snooping. This time I found over 60 / 5 dollar super lottery tickets and several call girl advertisements from Vegas and hand written numbers of female numbers. He got mad at me and said that I didn't respect his privacy. He told me I was blowing it out if portion. My husband told me I need to go seek counselling for trust issues or divorce lawyer as this is my hang up not his. What should I do?
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divorce, gambling, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 June 2014):
 I agree with CHECK your credit score, now!
And then... find a good divorce lawyer and get as much of your 70K back.
This is NOT going to get any better. He CLAIMS YOU need counseling, yet he is the one with the gambling addiction? Are you seriously wanting to stay with him?
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (16 June 2014):
 Your husband has a very serious problem and is exposing you to big risks here. And clearly he has no intention of doing anything about it.
Speak to an attorney at once. You have got to protect yourself because he won't. He doesn't have your back.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 June 2014):
 That $70,000 credit card debt -- what did he say that was from??? What made you override all notion of common sense to pay off that kind of debt for him, especially by putting the asset of a house on the line for it??
It has nothing to do with his privacy when he bleeds the household finances dry. If you do NOT divorce him, you are enabling him. A gambling habit this extreme has danger written all over it. Seedy people like loan sharks can do lots of physical damage, and that WOULD involve you.
Don't worry about what else he's lying about. You're already at the moment of decision. I'm stop wasting time trying to find more proof and start shoring up your own financial affairs....and leave him.
One other thing - CHECK YOUR CREDIT SCORE. Do you think for one second he hasn't been taking out credit in your name?? You'd be profoundly shocked.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 June 2014):
 I'd go with the divorce lawyer....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, cattycakes  +, writes (16 June 2014):
Separate your finances as a matter of urgency. See the divorce lawyer. I get no sense of love coming from him.
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A
female
reader, cattycakes +, writes (16 June 2014):
Don't end up with no financial security at retirement. He is not reliable and may sink you with him. He seems addicted to many things. I hope he doesn't break your heart as well. He is a consumer who has not addressed his addictions, which means he will suck you dry as things are.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (16 June 2014):
 WOW he told YOU to get councelling? Seriously?! Maybe its your fault for "forcing" him to gamble? Maybe you upset him so he had to spend some cash to feel better? Oh and let me guess, those nasty call girls put their card in his pockets?
This is crazy. He clearly has an addiction to gambling and is loosing, and has already lost, a fortune. He may also be using call girls which is cheating and could pass on STDs to you. Give him and altimaitum - seek help or leave.
He is doing the classic addiction thing of blaming others, making excuses, ignoring the issues and making out you to be the one with the problem.
He is betraying your trust, lying about the money, possibly cheating and putting your health at risk and makes it clear he would rather get a divorce than face his issues. I would leave before YOU end up bankrupt.
Mark
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