A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone!I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged him on Saturday to ask what time he'd be down on Sunday. I didn't get a reply and was effectively stood up on Sunday. I am not upset, as I have had time to brush it off and get on with life. I just wanted to know, is this acceptable and normal? Why would someone just completely ignore you when it's so easy to say 'sorry I can't make it' etc. I just wanted to get some opinions on this and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to answer. Thanks! :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2014):
Auntie YouWish makes a good point with the Dating Site feedback (if they have one). Otherwise I'd just block him from now on.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 June 2014):
 Given the fact that it's a week later and it doesn't sound like he had a really good excuse or any explanation whatsoever, he should be blocked, and truthfully, I wish there was an online reporting or feedback system for online dating like on Ebay or Amazon...a notification for others to not waste their time on someone who flakes out like that.
You know that it's just as unacceptable for online dating as it would be for in-person dating. After all, it's a real person behind the monitor.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 June 2014):
Not acceptable.
I would just put him in the "not a keeper pile" It's NOT that hard to get in touch and say hey I have to cancel or let's do a raincheck. But playing the "I lost my phone or just plain ignore" is not OK in my book.
What a flake.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 Acceptable, heck no, it's damn rude. Normal, as in , it happens fairly often ? Yes, with online dating it does.
Some people just like get numbers or set up dates as a hobby, some say they'll show up ( with the mental proviso : if nothing better comes up ), some change their mind or get nervous or get lazy last minute and won't bother to say " sorry I can't make it " because they are basically cowards, because they can't come up with a good escuse for cancelling , or for NOT rescheduling, because they'll look like idiots, because it's hard to be rejected but, believe it or not ,it's also hard to do the rejecting... because all in all it is more convenient just to go MIA without too many explanations.
Move on, don't bat a lid, and take this like a professional risk of " doing business " on dating sites. It's mathematic, every X regular guys there's a stand-upper ( probably a serial one ). No big deal. Next !
( I hope though that you have not beeen sitting at home waiting for this guy to show up on Sunday, right ? Because his not confirming the date and time on Saturday was a dead giveaway that he was not coming ! )
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (15 June 2014):
 I have had the same experience when I have used online dating. Its part of the trials and tribulations i'm afraid. Sounds like he has either met someone else, changed his mind, or whatever, and didn't have the balls to tell you.
Rude, pathetic and immature.
Mark
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A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 To be honest I used to do that a lot when I was online dating. I would text a guy for a while and when we made plans to meet up I would ignore him. I suppose I was nervous and wasn't ready to date. It didn't help that I just left an abusive relationship.
I wouldn't take it personally because he never met you and doesn't know you. While it must be frustrating try not to let it bother you too much.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 I think some people are just cowards. Think of it as a good thing, you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a flaky guy like this anyway, so he did you a favour instead of wasting your time on him only to discover that he's like this later on.
Some people just are that way.
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (15 June 2014):
 No its not normal, its rude and its disrespectful. Unless he came up with a damn good excuse as to why he didnt reply and meet you, then I would totally brush him off and not even think about him again, let alone give him the time of day.
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