Online dating: IMing for only a week and now she's telling me that we're twin souls! Advice?
Q. I met this girl through a dating site. We've been IMing for only a week and now she's telling me that we're twin souls, that I'm what she's been looking for all her life. She said fate brought us together. We've been exchanging fantasies about ...
A. 8 March 2011: Be on guard! A relationship has a batural pace, and nobody can be "twin souls" in a week. She sounds unbalanced and could possibly be clingy and extremely high maintenance.
It is not natural to move this fast because you hardly know each oth... (read in full...)
Could something be going on between my wife and her co-worker?
Q. My wife and I both 38 were distant for about 8months or so...married 10yrs with 3 kids, BUT I still wonder???????? Her friends husband(co-worker) had been texting each other every day at least 25-50 times.Sometimes no kidding 80 times a day.. I ...
A. 8 March 2011: I would bet anything that they haven't YET slept together, but they are carrying on a got and heavy emotional affair, which is inappropriate and puts them at extreme risk for a physical one. Talking to another man not your husband about your ... (read in full...)
Unexpectedly pregnant and not sure if I really want a termination....
Q. Ok so here goes. Im in a relationship with an amazing man. he's 22 and im 26 We've been together for just over a year and i have fallen unexpectedly pregnant. We have discussed it and decided the best option in a termination ( I don't want you views ...
A. 7 March 2011: The decision is yours and yours alone. You can't make it to please anyone else. Consider the long term impact of having a baby on your life. You would have to raise your child, feed him/her, provide for him/her, and live your life for your ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 7 March 2011: Truelover, I think you misunderstand. It's not that I'm merely prejudiced against anyone who watches porn. I'm trying to explain that regular porn and masturbation demonstrates the opposite of sexual conservatism.
To become retroact... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 7 March 2011: Of course if your partner that you're with is okay with it, it's no problem. A relationship is built on the perameters that both parties set for it.
However, you also said this:
"But I'm human, and I gave into temptation... that's all... as... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 7 March 2011: My mind is still wrapping itself around the porn issue.
A truly sexually conservative woman would not be inclined to accept a man who is hooked on porn. Even moreso, the women that you get off of in porn movies are the opposite of sexually... (read in full...)
My partner of 10 years insults my family all the time, and I find this hurtful! Am I being too sensitive?
Q. My partner of 10 years is often insulting about my family to the point where I get really upset. We are both in our 50's and have had several falling outs about his attitude. If I mention my son, daughter, sisters, brother etc. he doesn't reply ...
A. 7 March 2011: Here's the problem. You've been together for 10 years. You've had lots of fallings out about this subject. It's something that repeats itself over and over in the relationship.
Frankly, this continues because your fights don't have teeth. ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 7 March 2011: Wait! Hold the phone here! You use porn 2-3 times per week?? Cindy, this is true? If it is, your post was outstanding.
I'm sure I'll be disagreed with, but my opinion on that matter is that porn is NOT sexually conservative. Porn is virtual ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 6 March 2011: Glad you got all that off of your chest.
I have nothing against sexual conservatism. I'm all for it, in fact, for all the reasons you mentioned. So I wanted to establish that before stating my opinion so you don't misunderstand me to be someo... (read in full...)
Did I break the man code?
Q. I was hosting a massive blowout college party. My best friends little sister came into town with some mutual friends. My best friends sister started to kiss me and I didn't stop her at first and before anything else happened, I stopped her after ...
A. 6 March 2011: Nah, you didn't break a man code. Quite the contrary - you protected her honor and you didn't take advantage of her. I'm assuming you didn't have a girlfriend of your own at the time? You didn't mention one.
What you did, in my opinion,... (read in full...)
He says I have to accept him so why cant he accept me?
Q. Hi dearcupid.I need you to advice me.I'm so confuse now. I don't know what to do. Me and my fince been together for 3 and half years on and off.We're agure for 5 or 6 times aweek.That's a lot!He make the problem for every little things.If he kiss me ...
A. 6 March 2011: You're "the woman"? You work 12 hours a day, yet he expects you to fetch for him and clean the house? No wonder you don't like it.
There are so many better reasons to leave him than just eating pork. And trust me, you already do feel hurt and... (read in full...)
Is it normal to still feel bitter 7 years later?
Q. Is it wrong to still feel bitter about a relationship seven years later? This girl I really liked dumped me on prom. I went nuts on her after. THings never worked out. Fast forward to today. I'm 24. I'm angry and bitter because I haven't found ...
A. 5 March 2011: How did you "go nuts on her"??
You must realize that you are in prison. Your bitter feelings and your inability for your ego to let go of what happened to you are hurting you far worse than she could get hurt.
You really want to get back... (read in full...)
A married man at work wants my attention. I am attracted to him, so I'm struggling with this. How can I stop these feelings, and how do I get him to leave me alone
Q. I am a pretty young woman. There is this man at work who is always trying to get my attention but he has a wife and family. I really find him attractive and think he is a nice person. But I do not want to get in the middle of a marriage or caus...
A. 4 March 2011: First, in order to win over your struggle, you must see him not as the nice guy you think now, but as a cheater who would betray and stomp all over the heart of his wife. That is not a nice person. Put yourself in his wife's shoes. Think ab... (read in full...)
Do these signs point to an orgasm or is she faking it?
Q. I had this fear until last week that my girlfriend was faking orgasms. We are each other's first sexual partners, and I relied on my fingers/tongue, rather than my woefully average 5 inches in girth to get the job done. I don't see a reason why she ...
A. 4 March 2011: LOL...no, you won't have the force of the contractions rip your fingets/penis off. That doesn't happen. Remember, a woman is delicate and gentle. If you feel a flutter, you're good!
Plus, it's true that all women are different. I can't st... (read in full...)
Do these signs point to an orgasm or is she faking it?
Q. I had this fear until last week that my girlfriend was faking orgasms. We are each other's first sexual partners, and I relied on my fingers/tongue, rather than my woefully average 5 inches in girth to get the job done. I don't see a reason why she ...
A. 4 March 2011: Squirting is actually pretty rare. The vagina feeling different is a possibility that she's had a real one. Do you keep your fingers in there while it's happening until it passes? An orgasm produces involuntary contractions in the vagina similar ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 4 March 2011: Thanks for replying! It's awesome that you and your boyfriend took a step back. That was probably the healthiest thing you could have done, and I'm really happy for you.
I also understand how you feel about AA/NA. However, some of that negativi... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 3 March 2011: Here's the thing. You should break up with him, but not for the reasons you think we mean.
You at some point have derailed your sobriety. For 10 years, you were sober and now in the past month or better, you went back onto a bender. You got ... (read in full...)
Why does he add all these girls on facebook?
Q. Should I be worried that my boyfriend adds random girls on facebook? He send out requests every night. He as added over 70 since January. They are all about 17-20 year olds and are usually 'sexy' or 'tarty' looking girls who he adds. The thing that...
A. 2 March 2011: Hmm...if this is only a casual dating relationship, then yes, he's out looking and he's wanting non-serious fun. You should decide whether or not you want to continue having fun with him knowing that you're not exclusive and that he's going to ... (read in full...)
Do I throw away 6 years for someone who rejected me?
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship of 6 years with my first girlfriend. The problem is I'm still hooked on a girl I've been in love with for over 10 years. She also happens to be a really close friend. When I met my current girlfriend, I was living...
A. 2 March 2011: I think you already have thrown away your six year relationship by your actions. However, your girlfriend will be hurt, but resilient. You ending things and letting her go, especially since you and she didn't make any kids together, is what needs ... (read in full...)
Should we keep seeing the therapist?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and recently began having some serious problems in our relationship. We began seeing a couple's therapist two weeks ago. My problem is our therapist. Not only did she tell me that it's my fault ...
A. 2 March 2011: Is this woman a real therapist? If so, you might want to report her for verbal abuse. I don't know of any actual licensed therapists who would call someone a "controlling bitch" and expect to keep their license.
I also know no one who would ev... (read in full...)
When my boyfriend says I love you, I think "Do you?"
Q. help.. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. It's been a bumpy 2 years, and we still have feelings for eachother. Recently, just last month, he was moving out of his apt into his condo. I've went out of my way to help him clean ...
A. 2 March 2011: Well, I think you need to be honest with him about how you feel. And believe it or not, how you feel isn't "we never go out anymore". That's just the symptom.
You have to tell him that you are feeling like he has lost affection for you. You're ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is using me and he has never put me first
Q. Dear Cupid I fell in love with a person younger to me by 3 years and he said he loved me too. We are together for past 1.5 years. I love him dearly and i always put his needs over mine. But lately i started realizing that he is using me and i n...
A. 2 March 2011: Why are you letting him leech off of you emotionally, physically, and financially? Loving someone doesn't mean you put their needs before yours. It means that you put their needs as high as yours. Never forget your own needs, or you'll end up ... (read in full...)
Is being acting weird & possessive because he's done something wrong?
Q. Should I be worried that my boyfriend seems really possessive lately? Does it mean he's done something he knew he shouldn't have? When we first started dating (we have a long distance relationship while he goes to school) he seemed jealous but not ...
A. 2 March 2011: Is your relationship still long distance? Is there a definite end date to the long distance aspect?
Either way, this is slightly disturbing, the "you're mine and you always will be". What would be going through my mind is "or what?".
You ... (read in full...)
What do women think of a 28 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend?
Q. Hey i was just wondering what girls think of a 28 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend (yes, a virgin aswell), do you consider it pathetic? I dunno im a sweet guy, i'd dare say attractive, im just a lil shy, i guess it's true what they say: ...
A. 1 March 2011: DON'T go to s prostitute! There's nothing that says "filthy and creepy" to s girl as a guy who had to break himself in with a prostitute!
It would be better to come clean and say "I haven't met the right woman yet". That is much much better! ... (read in full...)
He criticizes me and sends mixed signals, should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year now... I am in love with him and feel so low when im not with him.. but I feel as though he is mentally torturing me. He doesnt liek me wearing make up and the other day he gave me an ultimatum betwee...
A. 1 March 2011: He *has* to accept you for you. If he's unable to do so, you're not the one for him. You should be allowed to freely eat steak and chicken and wear makeup if you feel like it without so much as an eyeroll from him.
As far as his selfishn... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife? I'm more comfortable with my girlfriend!
Q. I have a rather lengthy question I will try to keep short.. I have been married for 4 years and I have began having an affair with a girl 17 years my jr.. My wife is 10 years my jr.. I feel like I really love this other woman.. I have been open...
A. 1 March 2011: This is weird. There's no difference in how your wife and this mistress compliments you, yet you accept it from the mistress but not your wife.
The mistress has a sex dysfunction (from the abuse), yet she has a history of cheating on her boyfrien... (read in full...)
Ejaculation places of interest.
Q. Ejaculation Places of Interest What does it typically mean when: men have a fantasy about cuming on a woman's breasts? Why does my husband suddenly express this same fantasy? After one year of marriage do I have reason for concern? ...
A. 1 March 2011: Yep, the anon poster is right. That's a porn thing, unfortunately. The man either uses the woman's breasts to bring himself to orgasm, or he gets himself to the point of it in order to ejaculate all over them. I doubt he's cheating on you,... (read in full...)
2 months into my marriage and I'm already depressed!
Q. I'm so depressed. I'm 30years old and got married to a 65 year old 2months ago. We dated for 3years online, however i've visited and lived with him for a period of 3months condensed. This guy is weird- he has no friends at all, he doesn't watch tv ...
A. 1 March 2011: I do have a question, and it's not "why did you marry him"? However, it has a real bearing on the type of advice here. You said you had an online relationship with him for 3 years? Why do you feel you didn't get a good sense of who he was from ... (read in full...)
I married my husband but I still think on my ex
Q. I had a boyfriend that I loved so much we were together for 6 years and I gave him my virginity. I was young but I loved him so, but he use to be so controlling and very very jealous, that even though it broke my heart I broke up him. There was not ...
A. 1 March 2011: Here's the problem. You have romanticized your ex because the passage of time took the sting of what he did to you and minimized it. You've also hit a vulnerable point in your marriage (15 years) where you've let a little routine and bore... (read in full...)
Is grinding with other guys considered as cheating?
Q. I have a boyfriend and I have girls night out sometimes. So here's my question: Grinding/dancing with other guys considered as cheating? I mean, i wouldn't want my bf to be upset if i dance with other guys but my gfs tell me it's fine... what are ...
A. 1 March 2011: Dirtball's said it.
Fun friendly dancing is fine. Grinding is a bit too far.... (read in full...)
After we made out he said he feels like we didn't click why would he say this?
Q. hi, so there's this guy who lives where i always go on holiday, about ever month. we have known each other for a about two years. I recently started texting him and we did this like every single day and i got very close to him. we started txtin a ...
A. 1 March 2011: Ahh...he's actually a decent guy. Good for him on not just using you and being honest in his feeling that he didn't feel like there's a relationship possible. I know it hurts to hear it, and trust me, don't let it get to you that there's something ... (read in full...)
What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present?
Q. What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present? My wife just returned from a trip with some girlfriends to Atlantic City. While there she won a bunch of money playing a game that she di...
A. 1 March 2011: Ooh! Great question!
I assume she's playing table games in Atlantic City? Blackjack, Texas Hold 'Em, etc?
As a table game player myself, I can tell you that there's a unique sort of comraderie that takes place at the games. I've been given... (read in full...)
How do I ask this girl to kiss me?
Q. Hey guys, I really wanna kiss this girl who i like and I am pretty sure she likes me but I don't know how to ask her to kiss me. Has anyone got any good ideas?...
A. 1 March 2011: Yeah, don't ask her to kiss you, Smoothy.
Kiss her! And if you have to ask something, ask to kiss her, or more romantically, ask her out on a date, do really romantic things, get her to a romantic spot, look into her eyes and say "I really w... (read in full...)
You're a lesbian, so leave my boyfriend alone!
Q. Essay time- get comfy! I'm a little confused about my best friend and what exactly it is she is up to... See, we have been best friends for 9 years, she's like my right arm and we do everything together pretty much (even work together) I always ...
A. 1 March 2011: Boy, part of me wonders if the attention she really wants is yours. You've been best friends forever. Did it cross your mind that she might have been holding in feelings for you?
As far as the flirting with guys, that might just be in fun beca... (read in full...)
3 guys pulling me 3 ways!
Q. hi there i got a boyfriend now been dating him for almost 8 months he sweet caring treats me like a queen breakfast in bed he shouts at me when i am doing something wrong hes got his exes on his mxit and i hate his sister and he gets angry fast ...
A. 28 February 2011: 1. You must choose of course. Simple as that. Why is your ex your ex? Is your boyfriend capable of hurting you when he loses his temper? Does he have anger problems often?
2. Nope, that would bother me to know that my boyfriend carried ... (read in full...)
I've been hiding it, how do I tell my mom and brother that I am gay?
Q. hello , okay i am not quite sure how to ask this question , but i am living in a constant battle with myself , so i figured if i asked total strangers who lived what i am living right now it will help me ... See i had a rough year , i failed my la...
A. 28 February 2011: In my opinion, I would wait to come out until you are living self-sufficiently, meaning that you do not have to rely on your mom to support you. Finiah high school, Get into university, and be on your way to establishing your life. Then you can ... (read in full...)
My hearts in prison, but I'm with my ex and our baby, am I committing a worse crime??
Q. Hello everyone. I haven't been on this site in a while, but now i'm in desperate need of it again. My situation is very unique. I fell head over heals in love with someone I met in my past that i've always loved. The thing is, he's in prison for 1...
A. 28 February 2011: This is a unique situation we have here. There aren't many basic dating "rules" to fall back on when thinking about the way to advise you. There are many points to this I think will be easier to just hit upon one by one in hopes to dissect this ... (read in full...)
I've never gave a handjob before.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months. He is my first proper relationship and we really havn't done anything sexually. He has fingered me twice, but I want to return the favour and give him a handjob. Problem is I've never done anything...
A. 27 February 2011: I have a good idea for you.
Have him give you a demonstration, if you both are openminded. Have him show you how he does it. Different guys have different techniques. Have him show you what he does for a few seconds, and then mirror what he ... (read in full...)
I missed an opportunity before. How can I convey to my co-worker that I am attracted to her?
Q. around a year ago a co-worker and I both left our partners and began seeing other people. we began talking about our problems etc eventually going on a night out with friends during the night i got the vibe she was attracted to me but never acte...
A. 27 February 2011: This one is simple. You say you love your partner? Why would you think of cheating on her? Think about how you would feel if you found out that your partner couldn't get another man out of her mind. How would you feel if your partner cheated on ... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 27 February 2011: Yikes. Drinking doesn't make you mature. It makes you drunk! You are also not old enough physically or mentally to handle its effects, and it could actually impair your brain development, not to mention get you addicted, which would be really bad ... (read in full...)
I have a noticeable mustache, I wear glasses, I'm overweight, and I've been told I look like a man and that I'm ugly. Please help!
Q. Hi well I’m 14 going on 15 and I’m very insecure I’ve always been overweight but not that much overweight. I’m 165 pounds I gained 30+ pounds in a year. I’ve been trying to lose but no success. I’m also very much unattractive. I feel very much use...
A. 27 February 2011: Actually, I have an idea you might not have thought about. If you're having a noticeable mustache, and you've suddenly started gaining weight (and you're not eating nasty high-fat, high-grease, sugar-binge food), you might want to ask your mom to ... (read in full...)
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