A
female
age
30-35,
*mylee16610
writes:hi, so there's this guy who lives where i always go on holiday, about ever month. we have known each other for a about two years. I recently started texting him and we did this like every single day and i got very close to him. we started txtin a little dirty, not terrible but slightly. and we suggested sleeping together when i came down next. however, when i came down the first night we ended up kissing and nothing more, and the next day he acted like nothing happened. when i asked him if he liked me, he said that he did but he feels uneasy about it and it feels wierd. i asked him in person and he explained that he felt we just didnt click. then the next day he texted me saying sorry it could be what i want, and i said ok .. then he said, 'its not that i wouldnt do anything with you its just i cant comit to anything and as a bloke, sex is jujst sex and i dont want to exploit you', i dont understand what he says. is he just saying that so that i wont feel offended? i just really like him and dont know what to do, we dont even text anymore.
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kissing, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, concierge13  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 All I know is that he's a great guy and that you should be thankful that he respects you by not taking advantage of you. Cheer up!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): It would have been much worse if he had slept with you then told you he didn't want anything more afterwards. It hurts but it's good that he was honest about it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 March 2011):
 He just isn't into you. I give him credits for telling you instead of hooking up with you and then ignoring you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 March 2011):
 Ahh...he's actually a decent guy. Good for him on not just using you and being honest in his feeling that he didn't feel like there's a relationship possible. I know it hurts to hear it, and trust me, don't let it get to you that there's something wrong with you.
Just let him go and wish him well. Someday his feelings may change, or you might find another guy who does click with you and you really hit it off with him. Either way, I'd suggest not bringing up sex really early in text messages, as this may send the wrong message that sex is all you're looking for.
Too bad this guy didn't mesh with you. He seemed to be a good one. Hopefully you'll meet another good one sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): In a way he's being kind. He doesn't think there is a strong enough reason to sleep with you. That's actually good - some boys would just take advantage. So forget him in that sort of way. Look for someone else.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (1 March 2011):
 I think in his own weird way he is trying to stop you getting hurt - and you have to respect him for that.
Bottom line is, he doesnt fancy you. He doesnt want to be your boyfriend, and if you have sex with him, thats all it will be. Just sex.
He knows you really like him. But the feelings are not mutual. He says he doesnt feel like you clicked. This is probably why the texts have stopped, so you know he means what he says. He doesnt want to lead you on. He doesnt like you "in that way". Get the hint?
Now, a lot of teenage boys would sleep with you just because you offered and wouldnt care a jot about your feelings. He is trying his best here to be a gentleman, and not use you. His comment;
'its not that i wouldnt do anything with you its just i cant comit to anything and as a bloke, sex is jujst sex and i dont want to exploit you'
is basically saying he doesnt want a girlfriend, and if you offer sex, he will quite happily sleep with you, but dont expect anything else from him. Basically he doesnt want to treat you like a cheap slut who he uses for sex and then dumps and never sees or contacts again. It would be a one night stand only.
My advice would be to forget about this guy. Walk away with your head held high knowing that you have not been used and your emotions intact.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (1 March 2011):
 He feels like he doesn't like you as a girlfriend and he knows that if he had a relationship with you, he'd only keep you around for sex and nothing more. But he's been honest and he made things clear. What else do you want to hear?
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