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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Should I be worried that my boyfriend seems really possessive lately? Does it mean he's done something he knew he shouldn't have? When we first started dating (we have a long distance relationship while he goes to school) he seemed jealous but not over the top. He repeatedly denied being jealous until his birthday party. He got completely drunk and just started spilling everything to me. He said it bothered him to see me talking or hanging out with other guys. That he didn't like other guys putting their hands on me even if it was a hug. We've never had problems with cheating on either ends during the course of our relationship. That night he also looked me in the eyes and said he was never going to let me go. I thought it was abit weird that he said something like that but I just chalked it up to him being drunk. The day after his bday party he got back to denying that he was jealous until I just said it was something he already told me. A couple months go by and everything was fine then after about a year into our relationship our problems began. He got really passive and let his friends walk all over the both of us. I got sick of it and threatened to leave. Several times. Each time was more serious than the last. The last fight we had he came up to me and said that I was his and will always be his. Now everytime I hang we hang out he always says to me, "you're mine." Is this a problem or is it just because he's insecure that im going to leave?
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drunk, insecure, jealous, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): the long distance thing ends completely in dec this year. He is coming home for spring break in a week and for the summer in two months. He comes home once a month now for the both of us. He pays attention to his room mates more than me when im around. His room mate hired a stripper when I was supposed to visit and instead of listening to my bf who told him to get her for another weekend he purposely ignored our wishes and did it for the weekend I was supposed to visit. His one room mate said he knows my bf is completely in love with me bc he always talks about me and how he misses me. Theres nothing bad going on behind my back.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Is your relationship still long distance? Is there a definite end date to the long distance aspect?
Either way, this is slightly disturbing, the "you're mine and you always will be". What would be going through my mind is "or what?".
You said he let his friends walk all over the two of you? What does that mean, exactly? Do you think they know something you don't and he doesn't want you to know?
You need to leave him if there's no hope of ending the long distance thing in the next 3 months. It's getting pretty creepy with the whole "you're mine" and jealousy stuff. I think it's extremely possible that he cheated on you and is overcompensating.
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