A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl through a dating site. We've been IMing for only a week and now she's telling me that we're twin souls, that I'm what she's been looking for all her life. She said fate brought us together. We've been exchanging fantasies about hugging and kissing each other, and traveling together.In my opinion, we might just be the two most compatible people on earth, we understand each other incredibly well, we share similar ideals, but I'm still scared. We haven't even had a date yet (it's happening in two days, though). I have only had one relationship and everything in it took a veeery long time.So, question #1: Is it normal for couples to move this fast? (from strangers to soulmates in only a week of online chatting)Question #2: Is it dangerous? Is the relationship going to last less if we rush?Question #3: How can I slow things down without making her feel rejected?
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male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (8 March 2011):
Yeah, youre right.
Good luck in your date!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): Yes, I see a red flag here man in that she is rushing things a bit and getting serious very quickly and this is coming from a man who only enters serious relationships and even i say she may be a bit looney. She does seem clingy and also even maybe dependent because of the constant IMing. I hope the date goes well but IF she starts talking kids, then run for my gym and ill help you relieve the stress with a nice bench workout.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe just had a conversation. I told her things like "There are some words I'd prefer to save for special moments" and "If we're really twin souls, then time will tell". She agreed to wait for me, but she seemed hurt and stopped being affectionate with me. Then we said good night. ):So most of you were right, she IS clingy. I'll tread carefully but I won't let her go. She's very unique. I want to get to know her more, and deep down I want to share my life with her but that will be when we get more acquainted with each other.Tomorrow we're having our first audio conversation through Skype. Let's see how that goes...sebaslookingforward: Your story was interesting, but not entirely related to mine. You missed the part where I said that this girl and I are having a date in two days. ;) The relationship is NOT going to be online-only forever.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 I'm with YouWish on this one... she sounds like a giant cup of clingy-ness. Tell her you want to take things slow and whatever you do, don't give her mixed signals, (ie. don't tell her you want to take things slow but then wind up in bed with her the same day).
But I guess she deserves the benefit of the doubt til you meet... Let us know how the date goes aye :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Be on guard! A relationship has a batural pace, and nobody can be "twin souls" in a week. She sounds unbalanced and could possibly be clingy and extremely high maintenance.
It is not natural to move this fast because you hardly know each other.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (8 March 2011):
 Don't look for comlications were there aren't any... just enjoy the ride. In time you will know whether you are truely soul mates or not. In the meantime don't give away your heart to soon. You need to get to know her a lot better first.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 March 2011):
 I am guilty of using these lines myself when I was not even expecting anything. This is something I did to impress a guy to standout from the others, and to ensure a date. Don't take it literally. If it's meant to be it will happen. If it doesn't, just be happy that someone likes your profile enough to say these words.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward +, writes (8 March 2011):
Look, I am going to answer this question very very precisely because I have just been out of a relationship that started like yours.Back in january i met a girl online on a teen site and we started talking. Lets call her MeganAfter a week, we felt like trying out a relationship and just afew days after we fell in love and just after a week we fell in love so deeply we wanted to marry and have kidsOne week later, "her sister" gets on her MSN and acting under her name says "I have found someone elze, I think i love him" and i got worriedAfter a few days she gets on and explains that her sis had been messing with her MSN, and that this guy"(lets call him Zack) was fakeWe werent talking as much lately, because she had a busy life.i mailed her a letter which she told me she loved, she even read it to me, so she deffinitely got it.two weeks later she tells me she wants to take a break. I give her space and after a few days i get back on the teen site after a month. Zack was real, and she had been cheating on me since the beginning of february. they were talking on tht site and saying so many "love things" to each other i dont wanna think about it. I havent talked to her in two weeks and I cant contact her any more.That is my story.-----------Now to answer your question in another way, you may feel you have found the right person. it is not dangerous if you are smart, and you may think you might meet "in a few years".People act different on and offline. it is easy to be nice on the internet to many people at a time.You cant really be involved in the other persons life in an online relationship. You might feel you love her, but u actually love chatting with her on MSN/AIM or whatever you use. You dont know the real "her" as you havent met her yet.Ive heard INFINITE AMOUNTS of cases of people that break up with their "online partner" because someone has asked them out in real life. and it all ends, leaving you heartbroken.You can make a "pen pal" online but nothing more. Im not ever getting another online girlfriend. and i suggest you remain friends.To answer your three questions:1) It is not normal for couples to move that fast, I know from personal experience (as you may have noticed :P)2) It is not dangerous at your age if you are smart. I bet you are3) It is good that you plan to slow things down. I suggest you explain to her than it is weird to be feeling so much in love that fast and that things should go slower. I sugegst you either meet in a month or remain friends. Online relationships might lead to a real life one if u meet soon. If you cant meet in less than a month, I suggest you end this relationshipGood luck man, I hope the best for you. Ive been heartbroken so I hope you take my advice into account
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A
female
reader, coolbeans +, writes (8 March 2011):
 You sound like a considerate and sweet guy. I would be leery of this girl, she seems a little emotionally unstable. Even if you do "fall in love" at first type, I think a little discretion wouldn't hurt. #3...Changing the subject? I'm not sure how to slow someone down...but I guess you will have a better grasp after your date.Online romance can be new and exciting, but they can also be completely fabricated. We often represent ourselves in the best light possible, sometimes without realizing it. She may think you are a totally different guy or she may be a different woman than you expected once you meet and actually spend time together. Getting to know people is so exciting! But try not to get carried away.
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