I don't understand why she doesn't see how lucky she is!
Q. Sorry this may be long, I hope you read it though and have suggestions. Basically I was in a relationship for three years, we had ups and downs, but always managed to sort things out I think cos we had such a strong love. However she fell pregnant...
A. 16 August 2006: Perhaps with some time she'll change. It would be a great shame to deprive your child of a close family to grow up in. But give her as much time as she needs (weeks, months, longer). You should try to support her as much as you can since that will ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why she doesn't see how lucky she is!
Q. Sorry this may be long, I hope you read it though and have suggestions. Basically I was in a relationship for three years, we had ups and downs, but always managed to sort things out I think cos we had such a strong love. However she fell pregnant...
A. 15 August 2006: I'm glad you read what I wrote the way it was intended :)
Yes its easy to accept someone by saying "You're screwed up, but I accept you anyway". But instead it has to be "To me you're not screwed up, you are wonderful". I've done the same thing to... (read in full...)
He only started wanting to see me after he got a girlfriend! What is he thinking!?
Q. Well there's this guy i like... *original start, eh?* and well, i know him mainly through MSN, we talk nearly every night. i knew OF him before, he went to my school, but i never spoke to him. he's 2 years older than me, he's 17. anyway, he's bee...
A. 15 August 2006: Well, it's good that you are so sure he would never cheat. I have to say, from your original post, I'm not so sure! Teenage boys are experts at saying one thing and doing another (and most men keep that habit a long time...).
If you think you can ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why she doesn't see how lucky she is!
Q. Sorry this may be long, I hope you read it though and have suggestions. Basically I was in a relationship for three years, we had ups and downs, but always managed to sort things out I think cos we had such a strong love. However she fell pregnant...
A. 15 August 2006: I think you might be distorting reality a bit here.
In your post you excessively praise yourself and put her down. I'm hoping that you don't do that in your relationship with her (or did that), but my guess at her behaviour is that you perhaps ... (read in full...)
He likes to push the boundaries, but this ends up in rows me hurting, we are both exhausted by this what can we do ?
Q. My boyfriend loves me very much but has a habit of pushing the boundaries when it comes to sex. He sometimes says hurtful things or asks me to do things that I am not happy with. He has problems with his performance and has to take medication ...
A. 14 August 2006: I wanted to add that I see a younger less-wise version of myself in the description you give. In some ways. I can on some levels identify with your boyfriend.
Given that, i'd say Irish's advice is very good. My wonderful girlfriend helped me grow ... (read in full...)
He only started wanting to see me after he got a girlfriend! What is he thinking!?
Q. Well there's this guy i like... *original start, eh?* and well, i know him mainly through MSN, we talk nearly every night. i knew OF him before, he went to my school, but i never spoke to him. he's 2 years older than me, he's 17. anyway, he's bee...
A. 14 August 2006: What is he thinking?
Perhaps that he can keep his girlfriend and have you on the side? Either he can have you 'in reserve' in case it doesn't go will with his girlfriend, or that he can perhaps be unfaithful to her with you. You might make it ... (read in full...)
Do guys prefer bad girls?
Q. Do men prefer 'bad girls'? I was with my boyfriend for many years. I am stable, responsible and a decent person and he walked over me a bit I think. His new girlfriend is a bit of a wild one and he is going to court next month because she called the ...
A. 14 August 2006: My experience has been that generally guys are attracted to 'bad girls', but it's because they perceive them to be easier to have sex with (and many men are on the lookout for easy sex). They'll see the 'bad girls' as 'hot' and want to have sex with ... (read in full...)
He likes to push the boundaries, but this ends up in rows me hurting, we are both exhausted by this what can we do ?
Q. My boyfriend loves me very much but has a habit of pushing the boundaries when it comes to sex. He sometimes says hurtful things or asks me to do things that I am not happy with. He has problems with his performance and has to take medication ...
A. 14 August 2006: 'He says i make him feel very insecure and am being silly'
This comment is telling. One possibility here is that most of this behaviour is stemming from his sexual insecurity. A man who is sexually insecure can try to compensate for this through ... (read in full...)
Ladies, tell me why you would want to have sex with a man who looks at porn and gets horny over other women?
Q. It is totally incredible to me that some women will still want to have sex with a man who uses porn. Ladies doesn't this make you sick? Why would you want to have sex with a man whos gets horny over other women? I dont understand. To the argueme...
A. 14 August 2006: Personally I find arguments using 'hormonal differences' to justify porn very weak. If you really want to argue that from some scientific viewpoint, you need to point to convincing experiments proving your point. But there are no sucessful ... (read in full...)
Ladies, tell me why you would want to have sex with a man who looks at porn and gets horny over other women?
Q. It is totally incredible to me that some women will still want to have sex with a man who uses porn. Ladies doesn't this make you sick? Why would you want to have sex with a man whos gets horny over other women? I dont understand. To the argueme...
A. 10 August 2006: I find it interesting when men say they 'need' porn, or are 'entitled' to it, or similar.
Bear in mind that porn has only been around any any quantity since the mid-twentieth century, and only really been socially acceptable since the 1970s. ... (read in full...)
He's been on dating lines, and I really dont know why he is looking elsewhere!!
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years and have three kids one of only 4 weeks and discovered he has been on dating lines for our area.he has done similar things before but never admits anything and makes me in the wrong for not trusting him.i dont ...
A. 10 August 2006: Sorry if it sounded from my earlier comment that I'm suggesting he would directly admit he 'was intending to buy'. I meant that you need to ask these questions to yourself, and then see how much he will tell you, and what you believe the answer is. ... (read in full...)
Men have Viagra..anything out there for women?
Q. Dear cupid What is on the market to enhance a womens sex drive? Men have viagra.What about women?Is it hormone shots.I have herd of some creams.There has to be something out there.Men have a high level of testosterone can women take it to?I simply ...
A. 10 August 2006: Don't mistake how Viagra works. Viagra does not increase a man's sex drive, or make him want sex any more than he already does. What it does is make his penis hard. It's very possible to take Viagra and end up with a great big erection, yet have no ... (read in full...)
How can I make our sex life more of a priority again ?
Q. I have a problem with my sex life with my partner. He wants it less than me despite him saying he has a higher sex drive. Basically he doesnt put precedence on our sex life anymore and it drives me crackers. We do have sex but its few and far ...
A. 10 August 2006: The first thing to do is to identify what the real problem is. Then the next thing is to decide what to do about it. But if you're focussing on the wrong 'problem', then you won't decide on the right course of action (unless you get very lucky of ... (read in full...)
Im really worried that my past lies will wind me up in trouble with my girl!!
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my gf for over 6 months now. We love each other to bits and are really happy together. However in my first year of Collage (months before I met my current gf) a girl stayed over in my room. We didnt really do anything, ...
A. 10 August 2006: Everyone here is telling you the same thing: tell her everything. Tell her now.
You know it's the right thing to do. Yet you're making constant excuses.
Stop making excuses and do it.
Understand something. All the 'reasons' you are coming... (read in full...)
He's been on dating lines, and I really dont know why he is looking elsewhere!!
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years and have three kids one of only 4 weeks and discovered he has been on dating lines for our area.he has done similar things before but never admits anything and makes me in the wrong for not trusting him.i dont ...
A. 10 August 2006: There are various reasons why he could be doing this.
A likely one (in my opinion) is that he is just 'window shopping'. He probably has no intention to buy. Rather, it's just the virtual equivalent of looking at the pretty girls walking down the... (read in full...)
Are sex stories just as bad as looking at porn ?
Q. I know that a lot of women are uncomfortable about their partner looking at porn, but is men reading sex stories just as bad?...
A. 10 August 2006: I think they are very different.
Porn has various well known problems. The two ones relevant here are:
- I believe on a subconscious level we don't really differentiate between reality and photos / video. On a low level, when looking at porn,... (read in full...)
Im really worried that my past lies will wind me up in trouble with my girl!!
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my gf for over 6 months now. We love each other to bits and are really happy together. However in my first year of Collage (months before I met my current gf) a girl stayed over in my room. We didnt really do anything, ...
A. 9 August 2006: Tell her everything. This will hang over you like a black cloud until you do... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin after my drunken half-sex?
Q. ok well, one night i got really drunk and before i knew know it, this guy and i go from kissing to him trying to have sex with me. it was my first time being in this type of situation and he started to go in until i complained of the pain and ...
A. 8 August 2006: Yes, I'd say you are. That is assuming you complained about the pain pretty much straight away, not after 1/2 an hour! Which it sounds like you did.... (read in full...)
My fiancee was brutally honest in telling me she thinks my penis is too short!
Q. Dear Cupid, My penis is 4.5" short. I've spent the past several years convincing myself that that's OK. I read up on it and discovered that most women either don't care or prefer medium length. I told myself "size doesn't matter" over and...
A. 18 July 2006: Maybe she's mixing up centimeters and inches?... (read in full...)
What does she really want or is she just confussed?
Q. My ex and I decided to be friends after our break-up. For her birthday I gave her a day of pamering at a really expensive day spa. We went out to dinner for two nights straight. We eventually made love unexpected to me because that wasn't what ...
A. 17 July 2006: It sounds like you haven't broken up.
Why not get back together? It sounds like you both want to. You are both acting like you do.... (read in full...)
Lads: what attracts you?
Q. A question for lads...what makes you fancy a girl. I want alot of different responses so get typing please x x x...
A. 17 July 2006: They need to remind me of my mother... (read in full...)
Just lost my virginity and regretting it big time!!
Q. Hey Im a 17 year old girl and... as of last night, no longer a virgin. The trouble I'm having is... they guy I lost it to, would definately not be my first choice. It hurt like crazy, and Ive only known him for 2 weeks. At the time, it seemed l...
A. 17 July 2006: The main thing is to just learn from your experiences. Ask yourself what you have learned. Write it down. And then, when the situation comes around again, make sure you think back and act on it. Don't let circumstances, and the pressure of a man or ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I've met a guy I really have a lot in common with!
Q. I'm going back to school in a month and I met a guy who is going to be in my grade and new on a website. We have so much in common that it's really freaky. We both like to read, country music, and etc. I need help or advice....
A. 17 July 2006: Well the first thing to realize is that when you meet someone on a website it's normal to feel you have more in common with them than you really do. Because you can't see them, your imagination fills in all the gaps with 'the person you'd like them ... (read in full...)
Im really upset about his sexual past and feel im not good enough!!
Q. My boyfriends sexual past is ruining our future. He's slept with over 100 women and it just kills me that it's so many. He's been with prostitues as well. I am a very insecure person and I think I can't satisfy him like they did. He says he's never ...
A. 14 July 2006: I have been where you are. I still am, although it is better than it was.
It is very easy for someone who has not been in your situation to understate how difficult it can be. From my experience I know how staggeringly difficult those emotions... (read in full...)
My last guy didn't view porno. Should I look for a new one who also abstains?
Q. I just broke up with a boyfriend that absolutely felt like as long as he had me, he didn't need to look at any kind of porn or check out other girls. This made sense to me because I never checked out other guys. My question is, are there many guys ...
A. 14 July 2006: Probably only a minority of men will abstain from porn while in a relationship. However I don't think you are asking too much to ask for this. Quite the opposite, I think it sensible, given that porn cause a range of problems in relationships.
... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating has lots of female friends he's slept with. On my instructions he has dumped two of them but now he blames *me* for how bad he feels!
Q. Normally I’m not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t know what to do about my current situation. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. After six months, I moved into his place. I moved out six months later after ...
A. 14 July 2006: Tough situation but I think you made the right call.
Those two women are always going represent a threat to your relationship. There is absolutely no reason why you should tolerate that. And your feelings have to come first.. you are his girlfrie... (read in full...)
Should I believe what he says?
Q. If a guy tells a girl his feelings then should she believe him or not ???...
A. 14 July 2006: Depends.
Men have been known to say anything to get into a girls knickers...
You fortunately have a very highly developed bullshit detection device already. It's called: your intuiation. So ask yourself: 'do you believe him'?. How do you feel?... (read in full...)
Sex etiquette: Who should put the condom on (and how)?
Q. i have a little embaressing question, me and my boyfriend are going to have sex. But i dont have a clue about condoms, is it the man or woman that applies it to the penis. and how do you apply it....
A. 14 July 2006: Either of you can apply it. It's probably easier for him to do, but if you do it, it can be a big turn on. Also, if you put it on then it is a way of you giving consent to him that you truly want intercourse. That can be important if either of you ... (read in full...)
What's happened to his sex drive? Shouldn't he want to have sex with me?
Q. hello, i have a small problem, my bf and i have a good sex life, when we first started sleeping together we did it every time we met (bout 3 times a week) now we see each other slightly more and have sex 9 times out of 10. the other morning,...
A. 14 July 2006: Sex is about mind and body.
Your body can be 'ready for sex' (ie physicall turned on) but you can feel mentally not turned on. You've heard the phrase: 'the mind is willing but the body is weak'. Well, the opposite is possible: 'the body is willi... (read in full...)
Im feel very inadequate about my small breats, doesnt help with my boyfriends comments!!
Q. Im so depressed about the size of my breasts. They are 34B but look tiny and as im getting older, they are naturally starting to sag. When I lay down, they all but disappear. Ive never been that concerned though I would always like bigger boobs but ...
A. 14 July 2006: It sounds like shooting back at least made him realize how it feels.
You said:
""He says commenting on boobs is no different to commenting on clothes and because Ive said in the past they are small and saggy, he doesnt see he is doing anythi... (read in full...)
He laughs when Kissing is this normal ?
Q. is it normal for your boyfriend to laugh while you are kissin?...
A. 14 July 2006: Laughing is a good thing! People generally laugh when they are happy. Really.
You are probably being paranoid. He laughs and you are thinking he is laughing AT you. He is almost certainly laughing WITH you.
You have two choices:
- Ge... (read in full...)
Im feel very inadequate about my small breats, doesnt help with my boyfriends comments!!
Q. Im so depressed about the size of my breasts. They are 34B but look tiny and as im getting older, they are naturally starting to sag. When I lay down, they all but disappear. Ive never been that concerned though I would always like bigger boobs but ...
A. 14 July 2006: Pete is spot on. Your boyfriend's main responsibility is to make you feel good about yourself and your body, safe, cared for and loved. Putting down your body is absolutely not OK! I like Pete's suggestion to give him a taste of his own medicine. It ... (read in full...)
When I meet a girl I want to wait until we have sex, what's wrong?
Q. Hi I was hoping to get some advice from females but males welcome too! I seem to have this reoccuring problem when dating girls, basically I am not interested in having sex on a first date, and probably not until I have really got to know ...
A. 14 July 2006: I agree with you, I am the same way. Not only do I not want to initiate sex too soon, but if I girl clearly does then I tend to lose interest. It's just the way I am. No need to make excuses for it. I too am saddened at the minimal value that many ... (read in full...)
He laughs when Kissing is this normal ?
Q. is it normal for your boyfriend to laugh while you are kissin?...
A. 14 July 2006: Sure. He must enjoy it a lot and it makes him happy. ... (read in full...)
I know my wife is cheating with a friend. She's leaving clues for me to find!
Q. My wife is 65 and very attractive. She is secretly meeting one of my male 'friends' for sex, and leaves clues (lube used, used 'stiff' tissues in bin, etc. Our sex life has become non-existant. What can I do?...
A. 14 July 2006: First of recognize that whilst you may feel she is having an affair, there could be alternative explanations for what is going on. Until you see her having sex with this man, or she tells you directly, you cannot be sure. And remember, juistice ... (read in full...)
We slept together and now he's gone AWOL!
Q. I met a guy 6 days ago, and we ended up spending the night together. We were going to meet up a couple of days later, but he text to say he was unwell. The msg was really friendly, and said he'd be in touch when he was better, kisses on the end, ...
A. 14 July 2006: If you sleep with a guy on the first date, he's likey to think 'oh she probably sleeps with lots of guys on her first dates'. He then won't want to see you again, or if he does see you again, he'll only be looking for some more or a casual ... (read in full...)
How do I write a sexy email to my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, please help. I need advice, tips, examples on how to write a sexy e-mail to my boyfriend. He really wants me to do it and so do I, but I don't know what to write!...
A. 13 July 2006: I suggest you read some erotic stories first. This site has a very large number of free user-submitted stories. Try reading some for inspiration:
http://www.literotica.com ... (read in full...)
Would a shy guy ask a girl out...?
Q. Would a shy guy ask a girl out? Or is he the type that just waits for the girl to come to him?...
A. 13 July 2006: Well, a shy guy might make the move, but he'll only do it in a situation that he's comfortable with. Give him clear signals that you like him, and then try to create situations where the two of you are together and he has the opportunity to ask you. ... (read in full...)
Why would she do this?
Q. A friends wife has gone off sex totally and has admitted to not liking to be touched at all. Any ideas?...
A. 13 July 2006: There are hundreds of reasons why this could be happening.
She may have a problem somewhere in here life that is not to do with sex, but that is stressing her out. Result: no sex drive. Or she could be feeling unnattractive and 'un-sexy' for some... (read in full...)
How can I get her trust back ?
Q. I lied to my GF and now I feel terrible. It was only a small lie but she is still furious. How can I regain her trust? ...
A. 12 July 2006: Without telling us what the lie was it is rather hard to give much advice.
Apologise profusely and then make daily efforts to improve her trust. Do not resent her anger.... (read in full...)
He's only mentioned his sexual health now... !
Q. I need some advice about something my boyfriend did recently. I strongly believe in giving blood and I find it really selfish when people won't do it for whatever pathetic reason they might come up with. My boyfriend has been like this for a while ...
A. 11 July 2006: So he's not willing to get tested, not willing to give blood, but is willing to have unprotected sex with you ???
Ouch! No wonder you went mad.
And then he says he has no answer for why he did that ??????
That is appalling.
This is ju... (read in full...)
Next time he asks me who I love more, what should I say?
Q. my boyfriend keeps asking who i love more me or my best friend ... i never know what to say but it makes me really angry that he asks that type of question next time he askes what shall i say ? i want to get the message across that its a stupi ...
A. 11 July 2006: Next time he asks you should tell him that...
... you get really angry when asked that kind of question.
However, before you say that, have a think about WHY it makes you really angry. Think about it so that you can give him a good explanation... (read in full...)
How can I stay hard with my girlfriend?
Q. I can get hard when im with my gf but when it comes down to it it dies. What should I do?...
A. 11 July 2006: You need to figure out why it is happening. There's lots of possibile reasons, here's a few it might be:
- You have 'performance anxiety', and are worried about how you will do. This makes it hard for you to feel sexy, because you are worrying... (read in full...)
My husband's performance anixiety is making me feel bad. What can I do??
Q. My sex life with my husband is lacking. We are newly-weds, but we only make love once every few weeks if that...when we do, it is nearly always a disaster. My husband only climaxes about 25 per cent of the time...usually after about five minutes ...
A. 11 July 2006: It sounds like you two have been doing everything right, and that you have shown a lot of support and understanding. In other words, I'm not sure how much further the two of you can get by yourselves.
You mentioned he didn't want to talk to a the... (read in full...)
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