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male
,
anonymous
writes: I can get hard when im with my gf but when it comes down to it it dies. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 July 2006):
 You need to figure out why it is happening. There's lots of possibile reasons, here's a few it might be:
- You have 'performance anxiety', and are worried about how you will do. This makes it hard for you to feel sexy, because you are worrying. This is a common problem, you can have performance anxiety without realising.
- Are you always having sex after getting drunk or high? Alchohol and drugs can make it difficult to maintain an erection
- You could have some physical problem. You'll need a doctor to be sure of this.
- Are you taking any medication? Anti-depressants are known to cause this, along with blood pressure medication.
- It might be that you don't really find your girlfriend attractive. Sometimes we end up with someone because they find us attractive and we just go along with it. Are you in the right relationship?
- You may have over-used porn. Porn can end up leaving you needing extreme stimulation in order to get turned on. Eg, after seeing 4-way gangbangs on the internet, 'just' your girlfriends naked body may not really turn you on. Also, if you have masturbated a lot, then the amount of pressure you apply with your hand could have desensitized you, and your girlfriends pussy will not be tight enough to stimulate you. Ask yourself if you find yourself having to imagine porn to get aroused? Do you find it easy to keep an erection and then orgasm when masturbating to porn? If you do this could be your problem.
It might not be any of these, but they are a few to consider.
A
female
reader, Foxy1303 +, writes (11 July 2006):
Make sure your comfortable and relaxed in the situation. If you're worrying too much about staying hard, then your forgetting to enjoy whats happening, causing your solider to 'die'. Aim to enjoy being intimate, not just to get hard!
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