My boyfriend doesn't like oral sex!
Q. Why does my boyfriend not want to go down on me? He says he doesn't like to do it but I'm worried that it is me....
A. 19 June 2006: Well its certainly not you, it's him. I suggest that you withhold any oral sex from you to him (blow jobs). Tell him that if he wants a blow job he needs to give you oral sex first. You'll soon find out that he doesn't mind going down on you as much ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend wants to carry on having sex with me
Q. my x boyfriend keeps asking me to have sex with him i dont wont to but he wont stop going on he keeps saying he still loves me n i have feelings 4 him 2 i have had sex before but i dont feel comfatable with him xxemilyxx...
A. 19 June 2006: If you don't feel comfortable with him don't do it. You should feel under no obligation at all to him! The fact that he is trying to persuade you to have sex shows he doesn't respect you, and that you made the right decision to leave him.
Tell ... (read in full...)
Does he or doesn't he?
Q. how can i tell if my boyfriend mastorbates?...
A. 19 June 2006: Almost all men masturbate. I would be worried if a man didn't, unless they had a specific medical or religeous reason not to.
If you really want to know, I suggest asking him. And if you really really want to know, I suggest asking him to let y... (read in full...)
I snooped, and now I'm worried about what I've found...
Q. People will talk about how I shouldn't be snooping and you are right, but I did. For some reason I was suspicious of this person in my b/f's cell phone. Never heard of them although I am sure there are people we don't know in each other's lives. ...
A. 19 June 2006: It's a guy's name and you got voicemail? This really isn't evidence of any problems. To be honest, the fact that you are thinking classical music is an indication of them being female makes you sound paranoid. The kind of music means next to ... (read in full...)
Is he still in love with his ex? He didn't delete her photos!
Q. My boyfreind and I was checking his e mail when I saw a folder and asked him to open it. Inside was pictures. One of his ex... Knowing that I saw them and was upset he didn't even delete it. Does that mean that he's still holding on to her and I sh...
A. 19 June 2006: I don't think it's reasonable for you to expect someone to delete photos of their ex. Photos are there to record the past.
However if he's spending a lot of time looking through them, then perhaps something is going on. Talk to him about it if it... (read in full...)
BIG problems with the love of my life
Q. I guess I should start out by saying that I am 24. I have been going out with my girlfriend (23) for about 1.5 years and she means a lot to me. About a year ago, we admitted to ourselves that we loved eachother a lot. It took a while for me to ...
A. 17 June 2006: How much do you know about your girlfriends past? Her behaviour: depression, promiscuity, commitment issues, intimacy issues, all point to a difficult childhood or some problems in her past, and to low self esteem. Perhaps even some kind of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is impotent
Q. I'm 18, my boyfriend is 20 and we've been dating 2 months. I found it strange he didn't want sex at all during our relationship. Then he revealed to me he was impotent (and was extremely embarrassed when he said it!) Where do we go next?? ...
A. 17 June 2006: A lot of the time impotence is curable. Most of the time it is psychological, not physical.
Especially with your help, your boyfriend could overcome this. If you are willing to help and he is willing to try, then I suggest you two do some res... (read in full...)
I need some advice about sexual stuff
Q. for a guy to masturbate does the foreskin have to be pulled back because if i try to give my boyfriend a handjob i can't pull it back over the head of his penis...
A. 16 June 2006: It sounds like he has a very tight foreskin. Sex is going to be rather unconfortable and difficult for him like this. The good news is that foreskins are very stretchy! You or he should spend some time gradually trying to stretch it so that it can ... (read in full...)
Having problems with my friends over a boy
Q. I really like this boy, and he's told me that he likes me. However I'm not quite ready for a boyfriend right now, so we're just like basically acting like a couple but not literally being one.. if you understand. But two of my friends who are really ...
A. 16 June 2006: DrPsych is absolutely right. They are probably jealous of you and are reacting childishly. If you tell your boy what is going on he might be able to help. The next time they do something he can turn to them and say "Why are you acting so immature? ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I have broken up over trust issues
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months and at the moment we hae broken up. The reason for this is because she is not so keen on a girl that is a close friend of mine. Although she used to hold feelings 4 me in the past and we almost had sex, ...
A. 16 June 2006: You should consider cutting off all contact with your 'close female friend' in order to make it work with your girlfriend. Whilst this in a way seems like conceding, you have to ask yourself what it will take to really make the relationship work. ... (read in full...)
Could there be an innocent explanation for his "love-bite" and excessive internet usage? He says it's just porno and soccer!
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend Ryan for 4 years now. Last month I found a love-bite on his back and it started to give me doubts to whether he has been faithful or not. I confronted him about it and he said he didn't know how it got there and ...
A. 16 June 2006: You should trust your intuition. You have been with this man 4 years, you know him well enough to judge. Do you feel a flow of attention away from you? Is he mentally 'elsewhere' a lot more than before? Has his sexual behaviour changed towards ... (read in full...)
I Acted in a threatening manner, she says I reminded her of her abuseful dad, she ended it and wont hear me out, what can I do ?
Q. My girlfriend dumped me two days ago over and anguement we had in which i threw a chocolate bar at the wall. She's had problems with her dad hitting her in the past and in the morning she told me that i reminder her of him cos apparrently he used ...
A. 15 June 2006: Hello. Having a relationship with someone who has been abused takes extra effort from you. You will have to make allowances for her behaviour, and you will have to be willing to make a lot of extra efforts to create a strong relationship.
Her p... (read in full...)
BF would rather masterbate than have sex with me!
Q. I am a very sexual person, and my boyfriend seems to be, but is not. He would rather sit at the computer and masturbate rather than have sex or fool around with me. It makes me feel very unattractive and depressed, even though he assures me that he ...
A. 14 June 2006: Well that sounds like a very good area for you two to explore. I suggest you spend more time talking about it, going into some detail and saying why it turns you on. Once you are more comfortable talking about it it should be easier for you two to ... (read in full...)
I know he's not going to be with her forever, so what about me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a messy situation and need advice. I have posted this before, but wanted to get other people's opinions. I met a guy over a year ago that has a girlfriend and a young child. We started to get to know each other, and ...
A. 14 June 2006: I don't like to say this, but you have to consider the very real possibility that he will never leave his girlfriend. The fact that she is the mother of his children and that he clearly has feelings for her means that he could easily decide to stay ... (read in full...)
He won't wear a condom, what should I do?
Q. My new bf sais he wont wear condoms, I am on the pill though. Should i have sex with him?...
A. 14 June 2006: DrPsychs' advice is very good. If he refuses it shows he doesn't respect you, do you want to be having sex with a man that doesn't respect you? Also, the chances are he hasn't worn a condom with previous sexual partners too, meaning that he has a ... (read in full...)
How do I know when my boyfriend is ready for "horse and carriage"?
Q. How Do I know when my boyfiriend is ready for committment and marriege...
A. 14 June 2006: There's no formula for that, everyone is different. Your best sign is probably when he starts talking about it openly and unprompted: if he starts talking about marriage in general, or about living together, or having a family, then those are all ... (read in full...)
Found my fiancee's porn collection... I believe it's a form of cheating!
Q. i hate the thought of my fiancee getting off on porn. i have found a collection of it on his computer and was nearly phsically sick. I know this is as people say normal. but it wasent normal 100 yrs ago when marraiges actually servived. When other ...
A. 14 June 2006: You'll probably get different opinions on this. But it is clear that many women feel the same way as you, they really don't like it when their partner uses porn. You should raise this with your fiancee: tell him how it makes you feel and discuss him ... (read in full...)
Why would she dump me (nice, fun, giggly) for HER (bi-sexual, sleeps around)... !?
Q. i was dumped three weeks ago for reasons unknown to me. then i found out that he was seeing someone behind my back. this girl was a friend of his. there was always a reason i couldn't meet her. i got very insecure trying to trust him but thinking he ...
A. 14 June 2006: It's hard to know the reason based on your question, you don't say much about the relationhsip other than that you were feeling very insecure about it (you turned out to be right). There really could be any of a hundred reasons why he did it. Young ... (read in full...)
BF would rather masterbate than have sex with me!
Q. I am a very sexual person, and my boyfriend seems to be, but is not. He would rather sit at the computer and masturbate rather than have sex or fool around with me. It makes me feel very unattractive and depressed, even though he assures me that he ...
A. 14 June 2006: If your boyfriend is masturbating over porn rather than having sex with you then he has a problem (and so do you). He needs to know how his behaviour is making you feel. He also needs to know that if he doesn't alter his behaviour the situation is ... (read in full...)
I feel faint when I hear people talking about sex!
Q. Hi I'm 13 an i feel faint every time i over hear people talking about sex or anything about it! In my sex education lessons every lesson i nearly faint, i hate it. whats wrong with me and how do i stop myself feeling this way? its really getting me ...
A. 13 June 2006: I have suffered from fainting in the past. There are a few things that i did that might work for you:
- First try to calm your breathing: breath slowly and deeply. Fainting is caused by not getting enough oxygen, because your breathing is not work... (read in full...)
Am I too sensible too early in life?
Q. I want to know if people think I'm crazy or if my mates are. We're all 19 but very different. They all have a laugh all the time and sleep around, they don't take anything seriously and move from dead end job to dead end job just to get enough money ...
A. 13 June 2006: I have to say, reading about your life and about your friends lives, I would much much much rather have your life. They should be looking to you as an example. Really.
Sleeping around, not taking things seriously, and working in dead end jobs, is... (read in full...)
How do I stop this embarrasing situation from happening?
Q. This is really embarrasing but something has to be done. My boyfreind suggested that he do me up the bum, so I thought, why not! We used a condom. When my boyfriend took his penis out it had my poo on it. I was really embarrased but my boyfriend ...
A. 13 June 2006: There is lots of useful information about this on this site:
http://www.puckerup.com/hygiene/?&=... (read in full...)
My wife is so upset about the porn images I've collected. Am I so wrong?
Q. My wife recently discovered an archive of pornographic pictures on my computer - the directory was accidentally opened when I was logged in. Initially she said she was fine and not mad at me at all about it and asked to see the whole directory. ...
A. 13 June 2006: It sounds like you're handling it well, which is great!
I did state my case rather strongly and yes not all those effects happen to everyone, and they happen to a greater or lesser extent in different situations. I didn't mean to be coming a... (read in full...)
What is an orgy?
Q. What exacty is an orgy?? Help, I feel so stupid for not knowing....
A. 13 June 2006: Some things about orgies:
- They are events where several people get together and have sex together. Sometimes quite a lot of people.
- They happen privately, but also in special clubs where you have to be a member.
- They are very unusu... (read in full...)
I feel faint when I hear people talking about sex!
Q. Hi I'm 13 an i feel faint every time i over hear people talking about sex or anything about it! In my sex education lessons every lesson i nearly faint, i hate it. whats wrong with me and how do i stop myself feeling this way? its really getting me ...
A. 13 June 2006: There's nothing wrong with you, lots of people experience what you do. Some people experience it a lot older than 13!
Just remember that you only ever have to have sex when and how, and with whom you want to... you can choose when you are read... (read in full...)
He is ugly & I don't always like his personality - why do I still want him?
Q. Hi. I'm 15 and like this boy a lot. I can picture us together and married and stuff in the future. but the strange thing is he is my mate. I really wanna go out with him so much but i dont really like his personality sometimes. He acts as though i ...
A. 13 June 2006: How handsome a boy looks has very little to do with whether girls like him. Stuff like sense of humour, confidence, intelligence, and doing interesting things in their life are more important. It's different for guys fancying girls unfortunately, at ... (read in full...)
I called him a 'sexy beast' on his answering machine, now I'm so embarrased! What do I do?
Q. hiya. I'm 15 and I feel totally embarressed cos i went out with this boy for 2 weeks, a few weeks ago. I called him a 'sexy beast' on his answer machine on his mobile. Now I feel so embarressed about it cos we have broken up and, I dont know why, ...
A. 13 June 2006: It's a cool thing to have said! Any boy would be happy to be called that, and if any of his mates hear it then they'll mostly be thinking "Who is this girl? she sounds like fun!" I'm man and I'd be very happy to be called 'sexy beast' personally, ... (read in full...)
I love him but there are so many issues.... Too many?
Q. I started dating my boss about a year and a half ago. I know that it was a bad idea even though I've known him before he became my boss. The situation gets more complicated: he left his girlfriend that he had been with for several years because he ...
A. 13 June 2006: If you want to make it work I have a couple of suggestions:
- You need to break the relationship out into the open. A 'secret' relationship places too many pressures on you for it to be functional and normal. It's not natural for you two to be su... (read in full...)
Is it possible to increase ones intelligence?
Q. Is it possible to increase ones intelligence?.. thanks...
A. 13 June 2006: Intelligence comes in thousands of different flavours. Some people think of intelligence just as how good someone is at something like maths, but it also covers things like how well you deal with people and whether you can suss out situations ... (read in full...)
I'm in the military and my wife tells me she kissed another man (once)... Should I be concerned?
Q. I have been maried with 2 children happy for 7 years 100% faithful and like wise on my wifes end until the other night she called me the next day crying telling me when she went to a concert that another man kissed her and then she kissed him back ...
A. 13 June 2006: That's tough to handle. You should take heart from the fact that your wife called you up straight away and told you what happened honestly! That really shows she doesn't want to mislead you and regrets what happened. Hard as it sounds, the best ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if a boy has an erection?
Q. hi im 15. if you were talking to a boy how would u know if they had an erection? or if they were just walking past, would you know if they had an erection?...
A. 12 June 2006: There's only one way to tell: you need to see it. However at age 15 its best to not get too close to erections, I'd focus on getting to know their owners instead.... (read in full...)
Im not as attractive as all my friends or as clever, how can I become more like them for acceptance ?
Q. My friends are amazing fun, and I love them all to pieces. However they always look better than me, wear better clothes, have nicer hair, and generally have a better appearance than I do. Also I'm really dense and say stupid things because I don't ...
A. 12 June 2006: Hello. It sounds to me like you could be suffering from low self esteem. This is a very common problem that lots of people have: basically it means that you generally feel worse than and less than most of the people around you.
One of the ways... (read in full...)
I slept with a man I like from work, help!
Q. there is a guy i work with we have been flirting and emailing all day long.i bumped into him on a night out and we ended up sleeping together and had an amazing night.i really like the guy but i feel that now he doesnt want anything more to do with ...
A. 12 June 2006: There is some (unfortunate) truth to what Anja says. Bear in mind I am generalizing here, but there is some truth to what I am about to say.
In a way, when a man tries to sleep with you quickly he is testing you. He's happy to have sex straight... (read in full...)
Is it bad to just have fun for right now, or will I get hurt in the end?
Q. Is it ok to just have fun? I met this gorgeous guy a few weeks ago didn't think I'd have a chance with him but we talked then snogged and have now begun a very casual physical relationship. Both of us have come out of long term relationships a few ...
A. 12 June 2006: Be careful. It sounds to me like you really like this guy. If you get more involved with him you could quite easily fall in love. Since you've agreed beforehand with him that this is 'only casual' then you'll end up in a bad situation: with you ... (read in full...)
My father in law is still harrassing me
Q. Hi, I'm back again with "I am not comfortable with the attention I'm getting from my husband's father!". I know it should tell my hubby about this matter but I am SO AFRAID! DAMN AFRAID! Yesterday, we visited my in-law again as my sis in-law i...
A. 12 June 2006: This is a really serious situation. What your father-in-law did is totally unacceptable and has the potential to be very damaging if you do not act to deal with it quickly. You are 100% right to be very disturbed, any normal person would be in your ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but not sure how to approach things!
Q. So i know this older gal. She is incredible. We connect on soooo many things. Its pretty amazing. The problem is shes 24 and I just turning 19 in a week. I've had a huge crush on her since I started talking to her 3 years ago. I've kept quiet ...
A. 12 June 2006: An option might be to write her a letter or email. The advantage of this is you can take your time to make sure you say what you want, and she gets to read it alone and not in 'the heat of the moment'. If you do this I recommend writing it then ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being difficult!
Q. I'm going through hell with my b.f of 1 yr! Saturday, I found him chatting with his ex (whom he dumped miserably while she was pregnant... for me. She had an abortion). Everything was fine till Friday. And on Saturday I had the feeling somethin...
A. 12 June 2006: Difficult. Dr Pete is right, it could be innocent and your strong emotional reaction may be based on not understanding all of what is going on.
However I'm a big believer in womans intuition in these situations. If you can feel the redirect... (read in full...)
Can you legally move out at 18 in south africa
Q. can you legally leave home when you are 18 in south africa? or is it true that you have to be 21 before you can make big decisions like getting married, moving in with your boyfriend or having a child???...
A. 12 June 2006: My South African friend tells me that you can move out from home legally at age 16 in South Africa. Sex is also legal from 16.... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a snob, but will our different social levels be a problem?
Q. Dear All, I wonder if anyone can give me some dating advice? I'm a 32 year old single woman who has had quite a lot of bad relationships in the past, to the point I now find it difficult to trust any man. I am currently going through a period...
A. 12 June 2006: It sounds like you have come a long way in assessing your behaviour and understanding that it comes from your low self esteem.
One of the main issues I've seen with women / girls with low self esteem is that they stay with men that are not wort... (read in full...)
My wife is so upset about the porn images I've collected. Am I so wrong?
Q. My wife recently discovered an archive of pornographic pictures on my computer - the directory was accidentally opened when I was logged in. Initially she said she was fine and not mad at me at all about it and asked to see the whole directory. ...
A. 12 June 2006: Porn effects relationships negativity, it can damage self esteem, it distorts sexual behaviour, and it demeans women. I say this as a man who has seen a lot of porn, and have experienced the damage it can cause. Once I realized the effects it was ... (read in full...)
24 yr old virgin with very experienced guy! Afraid he'll tell everybody on a drunken night out!
Q. I am a 24 yr old virgin, and recently met a (very experienced) guy through mutual friends. I'm not embarrassed to tell him I'm a virgin, but I am embarrassed about our friends finding out. On a drunken boys' nights out, he sometimes lets slip with ...
A. 12 June 2006: There's nothing to be ashamed of being a virgin. In fact, in some ways you can take pride in it. I was with a group of people this weekend and a girl (probably nearly 30 years old) stated she was a virgin and was waiting for her marriage (she's ... (read in full...)
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