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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,My penis is 4.5" short. I've spent the past several years convincing myself that that's OK. I read up on it and discovered that most women either don't care or prefer medium length. I told myself "size doesn't matter" over and over until finally i could live with myself and feel confident. I was doing well, until...We've been dating online for a year now and are basically engaged. The other day, she asked me how long my penis was. I exaggerated and said it was 5". She said it was way too short! I replied that "size doesn't matter", 5" is almost average, most of a woman's sensation is in the lower 1/3 of her vagina, and told her that since she's still a virgin she can't really know how long she needs it. She said no, it should be 12" and really thick. Obviously she doesn't realize what this does to a guy's self-esteem... maybe it's cause she's iranian. She's really the nicest girl in the world, and i'm sure she doesn't mean to hurt my feelings. She always says it's ok that i'm skinny, and she doesn't mind that i'm shy... but with penis length she was brutally honest. She even told me i should take pills for it. But i told her i'd already researched that, and there's no safe way to enlarge the penis without risking severe damage. She said "it's ok" but she seemed so dissapointed.Now i feel absolutely terrible. I spent years convicing myself that it's ok to have a short penis, and now... it's all blown to heck. How am i going to live with it now, when my own fiancee prefers huge penises??? We are compatible in every other aspect of our relationship, so much that it's eerie sometimes. I believe she is the One, and we're going to get married soon. All the advice columns say that it's ok to be short since 80% of women don't care about size... but what am i supposed to do if my wife happens to be in the other 20%??? And how am i ever going to feel good about myself again? What if she just wishes i were longer, every time i make love to her, for the rest of our lives?Shorty
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engaged, fiance, my penis, shy, still a virgin, vagina Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): 12 inches long and thick?
She's been watching to many Ron Jeremy films, if women wanted men who were atleast 12 inches, 99% of men would be single.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): Buy a dildo the size she is talking about. Then she'll feel differently... It's not about the size. It's the foreplay anyway.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Its not the length of time its the person. Unfortunately some of us encounter the bad eggs and waste a lot of time on something we think is going to work, and it saddens us when it goes wrong and we tend to lose faith in what we once thought. You two were not meant to be, trust and compainionship can take years to build, equally you get can get to know someone over a shorter space of time, it all depends on the person, she clearly wasnt the right one hun.
Its not the length of time its the individual, i Myself have invested a long period of time in someone only to find they either disappear or fade away, its a learning curve in life and we need the downs to make the ups better!
Keep smiling!
x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPerhaps the rudest comments here were the most correct. She hasn't contacted me again, and i checked her email (she gave me her password a long time ago) she got an email out-of-the-blue from her ex-b/f. And she obviously had the time to email him back, but not me. I dunno persian, so i dunno what it said, but there were a lot of hearts and flowers and things.
Seriously, i know it's just an internet relationship, but i talked to her for literally hours almost every day for the past YEAR. That equates to hundreds, maybe thousands of hours of communication! More than most people do in real-life relationships! Sometimes it seemed like i knew here better than she knew herself. But i certainly didn't think she would dump me just because i have an average size penis!!!
It's easy to lie on the internet, but it's also easy to lie in real life. If i can't trust her, who the h*ll can i trust??? If an entire year of relentless communication isn't enough to get to know somebody, how long does it take???
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (18 July 2006):
 This is a question made up by a st*ned individual who has nothing better to do. Check the ISP address and other *questions* posted form this.
x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (18 July 2006):
 Maybe she's mixing up centimeters and inches?
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (18 July 2006):
 This is the most idiotic thing I've ever read on here.
Not her, you.
You're "engaged" to an Iranian chick you've never met? Get real. Seriously, you need to switch off the interweb, get outside and meet someone real and form a real relationship. Chatting away to someone on IM does not constitute a real relationship. You have no idea who this chick is. You have no idea what she's like. And you're ENGAGED!?
I really hope this question is a wind-up.
If not, I suggest you book a counsellor and talk this through with him/her and get some advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): How very strange!And this is why it is a good idea to get to know someone as much as we can before getting in to a sexual relationship. You, sir, should consider yourself very lucky to have found out this side of her character before it was too late!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses, u cleared up a few things in my mind. I spoke breifly with her again about it, and i was rather disturbed again. She doesn't seem to understand at all that she had offended me.
I said "how would u feel if i told u ur fat?"
She said "i would try to lose weight".
I said "but i can't change this, so what do u expect me to do?"
She said "i dunno"
She's usually so kind and understanding and empathetic and sensitive. But with this particular issue i'm shocked at how insensitive she is about it. I explained to her that since she's still a virgin, she can't possibly know what she likes, but she wouldn't hear any of it. I told her it's not important, and she said "no, sex is the most important thing in life."
What in tarnation is going on here??? I don't understand why she's suddenly acting so wierd! It's not even small for crying out loud, it's average!
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (18 July 2006):
Sorry but what would she know about penis sizes after never having sex before ? Is she for real ?? 12" and thick ? shs thinks that normal ? you need to ask her which porn film shes been watching!! That is the only place she would have found such rot afterall. Its got nothing to do with size more about the person, loving them and enjoying the act together! Shes clearly a bit deranged and hasnt a clue what shes talking about... you need to find out why shes thinks this has someone told her, as you say shes a virgin then she cant have first hand experience in which case i find the whole thing bizarre! Maybe get her to look at some sites where it shows that your size is pretty normal and that 12 inchers although they do happen are not as common as she is thinking!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): you have no choices.so you can either live with it and pay it no mind.or worry about it, however, worrying will do absolutely nothing foor your size will it.she s a virgin too so she knows nothing about what she "likes".im sure a thick 12 inch would probably hurt the poor girl.and chances are so will your 4.5 when you first have sex.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (18 July 2006):
 First, you are 100% correct about most women and the size of their mens' penis. Those of us who've had a phallus (or two, lol) around know that it doesn't matter what size it is, if the man in question is a thoughtful lover.
Then think about these two facts:
1. Your fiancee - a virgin - insists that a man's penis be unrealistically huge. Why would she insist on something so ridiculous and impossible? Is that so that no man can ever 'threaten' her virginity because no man can possibly hope to measure up?
(I think there's more going on here than meets the eye. In fact, I think she's terrified.)
2. Your fiancee thinks nothing of cutting your self-esteem to the quick in the meanest, most despicable way. I mean, how are you supposed to respond to her comment?
"Oh, right! You want it twice this length, eh? OK, back in five! I'm off to the taffy-pulling machine!"
She's told you this, I suspect, because the idea of a penis -- anyone's, anywhere -- is scaring her. She said something so hurtful that you might just never even get it near her. And she doesn't care that your self-confidence is now blown to smithereens.
This is the comment of a selfish, frightened child, not a rational, marriageable woman. I think a very long session with a couples' counsellor is in order, so that the two of you can hash this out before the nuptuals, or you may have a "brutally" short and unhappy marriage to this person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): Nicest girl in the world eh?
I think you need to meet more girls my friend.
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male
reader, BoyWonder2006 +, writes (18 July 2006):
dude the truth to the matter is if your girlfriend want a guy with a 12" dick tell her 2 go and find 1 i'm a 24 year old lad with a 6" penis and i think its well small but my girlfriend says the same as any other girl " size doesn't matter it what u do with it that does " so tell your fiancee 2 take u as u are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): In my opinion, it's not how big your penis is that matters, but what you do with it. I think it very possible to have this girl screaming if you do it right. Experiement with different positions that affect the depth and tightness of her vagina. However, like men, women all have different sized vaginas. Some women don't have very deep vaginas and would prefer a man with a smaller penis, and some have very deep vaginas and need a man with a longer penis. Personally, when I read that your fiancee thinks a penis should be 12" and very thick, I cringed... ouch! Twelve inches is an unrealistic idea for any man. My fiance is only about six and a half inches and he thinks he's king kong or something, but it's because I make him feel that way. Although sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, it does play a role in the overall health of a relationship. If she makes you feel inadequate in the bedroom, then you'll begin to feel inadequate in more aspects. I think you will also grow to resent her for it. This can dramatically hurt any relationship. You should sit down and talk with this woman and tell her how you feel. Tell her that her expectations are unrealistic, and that even if she doesn't want to be with you because of your smaller size, she probably won't find anyone more than a couple inches bigger. It's just unrealistic. You also have to decide whether or not this relationship is fair to you. It's obviously causing you to have a plummet in your self-esteem, and you don't deserve that. You should be with a woman who makes you feel like king kong, someone who makes you happy to be who you are and have what you have.
I hope this helps. I wish you the best of luck with your situation. I hope everything works out okay for you in the end. Keep your chin up!
~RJGirl
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