A
female
 ,
*ushgirl
writes:Well there's this guy i like... *original start, eh?* and well, i know him mainly through MSN, we talk nearly every night. i knew OF him before, he went to my school, but i never spoke to him. he's 2 years older than me, he's 17.anyway, he's been through a couple of crap girlfriends and he is very serious about relationships.he's said he thinks im pretty and nice and stuff, and he's told me really personal things that he's not told anyone else.i met up with him a couple of times and he was super nice, but e were a bit shy. then 2 weeks ago he got a girlfriend. i only found that out through his myspace account - he didnt mention it himself, which i though was a bit strange.anyway. yesterday i met him for the third time, and we got on SOOO well. he hugged me hello and goodbye really enthusiastically and when we were talking he said "i don't think any girls have a reason to hit me. well, not unless my girlfriend finds out about... you...". i just hid in my hair. and he insisted it was a joke.i am very confused. because he wants to meet up again. and... well, we both know that it's more than just a friendship. but obviously we can't say so, cause he's got a girlfriend. i don't think he'd bother actually meeting up if he just wanted someone to flirt with.i dont know... i hate being single, but i can't imagine being with anyone but him. but... if he really liked me, he wouldn't be going out with his current girlfriend. but what's REALLY wierd is that he's only started wanting to meet up so much since he started dating her. can anyone give me an idea of what he may be thinking? thanks.
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female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (15 August 2006):
Mushgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question There's another thing... if he did want to cheat on his girlfriend with me, then I don't think I would let him. Because I don't want to be the girl to make him into a cheat. So maybe I will try to be 'just a friend'... unless he splits up with his girlfriend. But I don't want him to split up with her if it's just gonna make him depressed. Although they don't have a lot in common, and it's strange - this guy and me have so many obvious similarities, yet he seems to hardly know his girlfriend. I think I'll just have to wait.Thank you very much for the advice :-)
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Well, it's good that you are so sure he would never cheat. I have to say, from your original post, I'm not so sure! Teenage boys are experts at saying one thing and doing another (and most men keep that habit a long time...).
If you think you can be 'just friends' with him then that might work. However it sounds to me like you have a major crush on him. Think about his girlfriend. How is she going to like him being friends with you? Not one bit!
I think you should stay away. There is clearly some kind of attraction between you two, and that's not a good thing if he is in a relationship. However, keep his number! If it doesn't work out with his girlfriend then who knows?
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (14 August 2006):
Mushgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, thanks for the advice.
i see what you're saying, i thought of that too. but the thing is, i know he wouldn't cheat on his girlfriend. ever. he completely frowns upon it. and i've never told him that i like him this much, i mean of course he may have guessed, but i've never said anything to him about wanting to be more than friends with him.
but i do see what you're saying. thank you.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (14 August 2006):
What is he thinking?
Perhaps that he can keep his girlfriend and have you on the side? Either he can have you 'in reserve' in case it doesn't go will with his girlfriend, or that he can perhaps be unfaithful to her with you. You might make it to 'secret hookup' status. It doesn't sound like you'll make it further than that though. Otherwise you could a way for him to massage his own ego... "look how sexy I am, I have girls chasing after me..."
I know this sounds terrible, but 17 year old boys (even the 'nice' ones) are very capable of acting like this. I was a 17 old boy once, I know from personal experience.
Or look at it this way: there is no possible positive reason why he could be flirting with you so directly whilst he has a girlfriend... however you look at it he is being disrespectful and unfaithful.
None of those situations will be good for you. The ONLY situation you should accept is that he is with you and only you. However, given how he is behaving now, it shows that he could easily do the same thing to you if you were his girlfriend. Meaning, he is not to be trusted. I certainly don't recommend sticking with him if he stays with his girlfriend... you'll quickly end up feeling second rate and could get very upset indeed.
Best thing you can probably do is find a different (better) guy to be your boyfriend and then let this other guy see you together and realize what he missed out on.
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