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female
,
anonymous
writes: Im so depressed about the size of my breasts. They are 34B but look tiny and as im getting older, they are naturally starting to sag. When I lay down, they all but disappear. Ive never been that concerned though I would always like bigger boobs but my boyfriend is a fan of bigger busted ladies and whenever he comments on womens breasts, it just makes me feel so inadequate. Sometimes he says he loves mine, other times he makes jokes and calls me saggy. I dont mind him ogling big boobs, just wish he wouldnt mention them to me. I have told him this but he never changes.Its making me want a boob job, for him and me, but I just can't afford it. They are beginning to make me feel really sad and unattractive. I have told my boyfriend to go and find a woman who has big boobs but he says he doesn't want to, he wants me, so why does he keep making those comments which I then allow to make me feel so inadequate?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): hi i kone were u are comeing from i am 15 and i have smill boobs 2 they are a 34b 2 i have a bouyfriend as well i and i konw what u mine wen u say he macks jocks about it my boyfriend douse it to me all the time just coz my boyfriend douse it to me i konwe he is jocking about with me and that could be what your bouyfriend is doing to you but i wold like to here from you to see if i halp you or not
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 July 2006):
 It sounds like shooting back at least made him realize how it feels.
You said:
""He says commenting on boobs is no different to commenting on clothes and because Ive said in the past they are small and saggy, he doesnt see he is doing anything wrong by also commenting on them and basically agreeing with me."
This is total bullshit, and both you and he knows it. Commenting on clothes and boobs is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Cloaths are just things that you buy, wear and throw away. They are not you. Your boobs are you. Your body, your body image, yourself. Totally and utterly different.
Consider Pete's suggestion. Men are very sensitive about their cocks. If your belly jabs don't do the trick, try aiming a bit lower. Just be clear why you are doing it... he needs to understand that insulting your breasts is highly insulting and unpleasant to you, and that it is making you feel sad and unattractive. His justifications are nonsense and he needs to get over this, and quick.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): Im the original poster. I hate to say it but I did retaliate with a rather childish comment myself. He has quite a big belly which I know he's worried about as he always asks me if his tops make it look too big etc. Ive always said he looks fine but yesterday after he made a saggy comment, I turned round and said I liked my saggy boobs as much as he obviously liked his fat gut. He knew exactly why I said it, tried to crack a joke about having a 6 pack to which I again said it must be hidden beneath all the blubber. I know it struck him where it hurts and I feel so guilty about doing it but I snapped. He says commenting on boobs is no different to commenting on clothes and because Ive said in the past they are small and saggy, he doesnt see he is doing anything wrong by also commenting on them and basically agreeing with me. Apart from that, he is full of compliments about my body. I think every time he makes a boob comment, I will fire one back at him - see how he likes it. Childish maybe, but it may just work.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (14 July 2006):
Pete is spot on. Your boyfriend's main responsibility is to make you feel good about yourself and your body, safe, cared for and loved. Putting down your body is absolutely not OK! I like Pete's suggestion to give him a taste of his own medicine. It will certainly make him realize how it feels when he is nasty about you. Just make sure that after you have said it you tell him why you did... (give him 5 mins to freak out first, then tell him). If he doesn't get it, then give him an ultimatum. It is not a good idea to stay with a man who undermines your self esteem, so get what you need from this man or show him the door. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): You boyfriend is the last person who should be putting your body down! No wonder you are depressed and feeling like there is something wrong!
Deary there is nothing wrong with 34B breasts, absoluetely tons and tons of girls have this breast size. It sounds all cheesy and stating the obvious but you really should be happy with who you are, breasts included! It sounds to me your boyfriend would change your breasts at the first opportunity if he could, what an idiot. Superficial, shallow and a downright utterly shit boyfriend springs to mind!
It is his job to love and cherish your body, especially the "imperfections" (for lack of a better word) because they are what make you UNIQUE and YOU!
I'm not one to usually advocate games but if you know any insecurities about his body, perhaps you could make a comment about it and see how he feels, failing that, comment on how small or strange his penis looks, no doubt he'll feel just how absoluetely SHIT it feels for a so-called love one to criticise your body. Maybe that'll help him be a bit more thoughtful and see you as a person with feelings rather than a sexual object.
Stop with this negative thinking and learn to love your body. If your boyfriend has an issue with them, or prefers someone elses breasts, he needs to get over it, because believe me dear, there are plenty of guys who would adore your breasts just the way they are, trust me! ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2006): im sorry if theis is bad advise its ma first time lol.im 16 and i am also a 34B so i know how you feel. i worry sometimes that my boyfriend will start calling me names for them being small. but i have come to realise that its my body and if he dosen't like the way i look he will have to cope. And if he continues to upset you tell him you are not happy and he has to change his ways because it really upsets you.
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