A
female
age
41-50,
*idi O
writes:First, I am still in love with my aries Boyfriend. He's 36 and I am 28. We have dated for 1.6 years striaght but on and off for 2years. But we fight so much and pick fights over everything, and this is NOT new. We have broken up a few times in the past and everytime I leave he makes grand gestures to win me back, calls, gifts to my home or work, weekend get aways showing up at places I will be or I come back to him on my own. We talked about marriage in the past and he's dragging his feet, stalling and being very vague. And I don't blame him, WE ARE IN NO WAY ready for marriage. although I love him so much, and so he claims he loves me. But he's unreliable, he doesn't keep to committments. He shows up late always, he has stood me up for vacation, dates. I feel like I am STUCK, like I am in prison. As much as I love him, I hate fighting, I hate the drama, I hate the relationship. But somehow I can't forget him. I have never been in this situation before. I even started dating someone else and tried to tell him that I have moved on. But he keeps showing up at my church and it sends feelings of Love flooding back to me. I want to give the new guy I am dating a chance, we have been dating for a month. I want the old relationship to be over. I want to get over my ex/ current BF, but I don't know how. I don't even know what we are. We are not intimate but he still considers me his GF. But we have both changed.He doesn't cal as much, he doesn't take me to family functions as much, he's stopped planning dates. I sometimes can't reach him on the phone. Though he's gotten better about calling recently plus He just seems to pressure me so much for sex which makes me even more resentful and distant and still not willing to give in. He may even be seeing someone else. which is fine, but I wish he would tell me and give me closure so I could move on and close the chapter.I wish things could have worked between us but this relationship has run its course. I want to start fresh. what do I do?
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female
reader, Didi O +, writes (16 August 2011):
Didi O is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who answered my question. I appreciate all your help.
jannipeg, I totally agree with you. I have dated another Aries and that relationship did not work out either. It seems although I am aquarius, i do not get along with Aries as lovers.
whattodoabouther,
thanks a liot for your answer. I also made the decision to love with my head, as hard as that will be. But My head knows she can't be with this guy. We had a heart to heart talk yesterday and both agreed we have some serious communication issues and barriers. Right now, he wants to work it out, and I do too but we both know the likelihood of us working out is very slim. so we decided to just let each other go. We are still in limbo but we have decided to take a break with the intent of breaking up. I am sure he;'s met someone and so have I. I love him so much and I want the best for him and me, so I have got to let him go.
It was nice to finally hear him agree that he had his reservations about marriage due to our problems communicating. We were on the same page for once! So I wish him well. I know he doesn't want to let go and I miss him terribly but Love is not enough. We gotta move on. he called me today to say hello. But I think we have both realized that our relationship is over.
At least we ended on amicable terms.
thanks everyone.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (15 August 2011):
 Just like you break up with anyone else.
You tell them with respect, honesty and dignity that you no longer can be in a relationship with them.
If they ask why, you tell them why and understand they will be hurt.
You do not see him as the person you want to settle down with.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (15 August 2011):
 I think I should feel a bit disrespected that you're talking about my astrology sign. Just kidding. :^)I know that Aries people do have the ability to clash, could be argumentative, and we're sort of headstrong and sometimes confrontational, but what do you expect? We're rams...and that's how rams are. :^)
O.k. now let me be serious...in reality you could say many of the above things about any sign. So it's not the sign, it's the individual. Look for how a person treats you, not what his sign is.
And I agree, I don't think marriage is the way to go right now. What you two would have to first work on is your communication skills, and frankly, your overall relationship. That is of course if you plan to stay with him.
But since you mentioned that you're talking to someone new now and you just want to get over the Aries guy, then I think that would be the best thing to do. Put all of your energy into dating the new guy and start something fresh with him. But if there are arguments or problems (and believe me if it get serious at some point you would cross that bridge), work on communicating with him to fix the issues. Keeping relationships strong takes a lot of time, commitment, communication, and effort. Do what you can on your part to make it great. And if it works out, wonderful! If not, at least you could rest your head knowing that you did everything in your power to make a great relationship.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 August 2011):
 First of all I have seen very responsible, family oriented Aries. But I have had no luck with them in my life.
I left my Aries ex husband and went to another city. Never saw him again.
I understand how you still care for your ex but I have no respect for people showing up late for dates. You can't depend on him for closure. I can help you with the closure. People who can't be punctual are no good for you. Feeling pressured is not an excuse.
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A
male
reader, whattodoabouther +, writes (15 August 2011):
I've been on the other side of the fence. I've been the guy who does what you do and would get the sme shit from her. One of the things I have learned to do it stop loving with my heart. Love with your head. If they pass the test of being loved by your brain (your filter) then they can be loved by your heart. I hate to say it but walk away. I'm 33, single, and never felt better about myself.
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