A
female
age
41-50,
*eeker7
writes:I met a guy and felt something towards him instantly but time was never right. This year we decided to get closer but seems I was insecure about him because of his playful history even though he said he is no more playing. He also complained about me not making any steps with him. We went out few times, he liked my looks but I was never sure if he was serious until one day I caught something he did and we had a fight and I acted silly and he also ignored me. Few weeks later, we met by luck in the street and he said he'll call and he called 2 weeks later and then I called a week later and nothing afterwards. A month later I called in a neutral friendly way and he was neutral. I saw him again in the street by luck and he said he'll call but this time things changed. He deactivated his FB account, he didn't call and I found out he engaged a girl he used to date 5 years ago who is a bit ugly as per his say. He doesn't know that I know but he's totally gone now. I decided to let go, tried all known tools starting from reading, gym, traveling, going out and trying to know new guys. Now I'm in a terrible collapse, I keep thinking about him all day long and I miss him like crazy. Now I feel lost, all my blind dates were ruined, I no more trust signs. I feel miserable.
View related questions:
engaged, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, seeker7 +, writes (13 August 2011):
seeker7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your help. I needed to read that!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 You attached to much important on this guy. He's just like any other guy who's unavailable to you. You don't know if he's that great in real life, although he left you with a great impression and sometimes our minds do tricks on us thinking that he is the only one that can do. What happened was that it didn't work out between you two for some reason. You spent time waiting for him and at the end it was not worth it. Without taking risks we wouldn't get anywhere in life. I don't think an emotional outburst is enough to totally push a guy away (that's if he's interested), so there is no reason to keep beating yourself up. When he complained that you didn't make any steps for him, this is just an excuse and he's throwing the blame on you in order not to feel guilty. The only thing you could have done is move on quicker instead of going through the cycle of hoping and defeat.
Now what you do is keep looking and at the mean time waiting, enjoy alone time doing things that's fun for you. Don't just go outside for the sole purpose of meeting guys.
...............................
|
