A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and i tried to leave 6 times, but as it goes with abusive relationships, that's how it is. I finerly managed to brake free 8 weeks after my daughter was born but had not left the family home until the drama that made me run out. Two days after i called the relationship off because of his verbal/emotional abuse, i found out that he had been chatting up a load of women on facebook and my reall concern a friend (not close) but someone who i actually shared my pregnancy with as she was pregnant aswell.It totally destroyed my head. I felt totally betrayed because it was days after we had broke up, the bed wasn't even cold and i had been trying to leave him for years, so i felt robbed and like id wasted all those years because i would have left him years ago if i knew what he would be like after we split up.The feeling of being betrayed has permanently scared me. I felt like i died as a person and have been born as someone else because i will never veiw life in the same way again.Anyway to put that behind me, we sorted out are diffrencies and i forgave him. we became really good friends. I have got my own back since, call it petty and bad or what ever you like but i slept with one of his friends. I know, i know, that it's bad and knowing how it feels like to being betrayed i shouldn't have stuped so low but the betrail i felt that day has taken away part of my care so i really thought fuck it.My ex being my good friend found out when he saw messages on my phone and it destroyed my ex but he wanted me to be their for him so i have. he's asked me loads of questions wich he says helps. well it didn't end their because i got stuck into a rut with his friend and we slept with each other a few more times after my ex found out about the incident. It got really messy to the point were my ex's friend was getting really emotianly involved telling me he loved me and stuff so i broke all the news to my ex in destress and it crushed him again. My ex is constantly asking me questions. I carn't handle it anymore. It's getting me down and he's telling me I'm not supporting him enough. what do i do about my ex? please help me if you can, i know I've done wrong but i feel like I'm being constantly punished by ex and were not in a relationship anymore. I didn't escelate the situation to hurt my ex and not even to start with actually, it just got a bit out of control and now i feel like I'm going to be scrutinated forever
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the responce. Well, i'm no longer in contact with that other person anymore and i'm glad because i was trying to get rid of him for a long time but he would reapear in my life and i was strongly attrackted to him, so it was hard to let go, but it's all been delt with now and i'm very glad he's no longer in my life.
My ex boyfriend and this person are not friends anymore. My ex never wants to speack to him again and hasn't since he fount out the first time.
I think kyles right though, were you say about this persons charackter. he's really not a very nice person, wich is why i was tryinv to walk away.
Ha, ha, ha, i devently did not love him, he was makeing me feel ill because i didn't trust him or anything. I don't think he loved me either. he's a fool and doesen't even know the meaning of the word.
Well, as me and my ex are good friends, it's pretty hard not to have conversations together. The person who i slept with also said it's none of my ex's buissiness, a while back.
I've told him now that i'm not willing to discuss it, if it upsets me so it's more on my tearms.
Thanks for the advice
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 August 2011):
 You were broken up, so technically it's not cheating but your ex felt it as a true betrayal, especially it's with his friend. His friend doesn't love you, and I am sure you don't love him. You didn't mean to hurt him but subconsciously I think you did because of all those years of abuse and somehow you have to let him know that if he continues to hurt you there would be consequences. It is all a lesson of how to control your emotions and how to reveal your true self in order to love.
Your ex is talking to you as if he is still your boyfriend. Probably you still want to continue this but neither of you are ready. Whatever pace you want to take try to bring out the best in each other and have fun like a good friend should be. If you don't feel like answering his questions just stop him but still let him know you would be there for him but would not say anything that does not help the friendship. I think his questions are to confirm that his friend is not better than him, and that you indeed loved your ex. A quick way to stop his questions is to tell him all the good qualities he has, and why you still like him. I can't tell from here if you have intentions to get back with him. Obviously you care about him a lot. Don't forget about your happiness too and don't let his negative energy drain you.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (10 August 2011):
You know, being your ex its none of his business who you sleep with.
But your ex's friend really has to make a decision between him and you.
And if I were you, I would not talk to the ex AT ALL unless you have shared custody or some sort of situation where you have to talk, but only about that.
Someone needs to start putting up fences or there is going to be bloodshed.
You may just want to take your leave of both of them. The fact your lover is friends with this guy also says something about his character.
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