A
female
age
36-40,
*nmathews07
writes:Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We live together and both have children of our own in the relationship. The last month has been rough with a lot of stress and we've talked about it and agreed to make it better. I got upset a few days ago and tried to talk to him calmly about my feelings so we could fix that and he blew me off. I calmed down and tried again, he flipped out and took off for work. He didn't come home that night. I have texted him and asked him what was going on and he just said "I'l try to get my things out this weekend" I have talked to him about my feelings and I've talked to him about our house because I told him whether we're together or not, we have a house together so we're going to have to communicate...nothing. He still hasn't told anyone we're broke up, he hasn't broken up with me on Facebook, and hasn't taken any of our pictures down, nothing. So my question is, if he's ignoring me and acting like he doesn't care, why wasn't that the first thing he did? Why won't he even give me a clear answer as to whether we're not together anymore? He's the type of person that if he breaks up with someone he's got their pics deleted off of his phone and facebook and deletes them as a friend almost immediately...what's up with this, is he confused? I only have two thoughts 1) He doesn't want to be together but is afraid to do it because he wants to get his things out first. or 2) He doesn't know what he wants and if he does that then he'll have to explain it to people especially if we end up working it out...I don't know, help me out please.
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 I think his non communication is a way to tell you he's out already but he says nothing because he has nowhere else to live. So when he comes back saying "thanks for stopping by" won't make a difference. So when you open the door you are doing him a favor. It's just eventually you will talk about splitting the house.
A
female
reader, snmathews07 +, writes (7 April 2012):
snmathews07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with you on that. I feel that he's being really immature and stupid. You don't see me running away when my kids stress me out, but he has his own son that he took with him so I feel like he's confusing the kids and with us already having a blended family, it's difficult enough as it is. So, a friend of mine got a hold of him about a tattoo (he has a pro tattoo shop off the back of our house) they asked him where he would do it (he responded here, at our house) and asked him when and he said definitely not this weekend, but this week for sure. So now, we all believe that he has planned a 5 day vacation for himself at his brother's house and plans on returning after Easter. I don't know what to do with that. I love him very much, we have never really had any problems, but stress gets bad for a month and he takes a break? Not to mention he won't even acknowledge my existence. My friends say that if he comes back I should show him that I don't NEED him and he is only a CHOICE. What do you guys think?
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (6 April 2012):
I just wish I could say to your boyfriend, welcome to fatherhood and if the stress is so bad that you need a breather and avoid communication, you are not fit to be a father and a husband let someone else do a better job. Some woman can put up with this because of children but for me, there are far more better and considerate men out there who won't leave you hanging. I strongly believe that cavemen syndrome and marriage life don't fit. I don't care about anthropologists defense for a man's natural behavior. If a man wants to crawl into his cave whenever life gets tough, he should go move and live a cave man's life. My dad has never walked out and slept somewhere else because life got too stressful. It is your decision if you can forgive this or not. I believe that when children are young you still hope for an intact family but when he does this a few times and breaks your heart, it will become easier for you to move on.
...............................
|
