A
female
age
41-50,
*RICAN
writes:Help !!!! in a serious long distance relationship, we communicate daily,have plans of moving together, with me making the relocation,and found that my man is on a site, lied abt his age and seeking younger women..he last logged in today...in our early phase of the relationship i found he was on a dating site( quite few) i confronted him and he denied it saying it was ?? advets?? i knew he was lying bt let it go...wht do ido???im thinking of jst dumping him and moving on with my life....i had trust issues in the past and now this??males readers pls tell me wht u think, my fellow womwn pls tel me u opinion...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 I would dump him and move on… hard to deal with it but he’s lying and cheating…. Even if he’s not actually physically meeting these women he’s emotionally cheating…
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2012):
 It'd be buh bye in a heartbeat. He doesn't even have the decency to be honest with you and he is on dating sites.. HUGE no-no's.
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A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (6 April 2012):
It sounds like you know him pretty well. Im very sorry you have to go through this but you do deserve better and you will find it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Hi. Yes you do deserve better. He has obviously been busy behind your back doing his own thing, seeking younger women and pretending he is younger than he really is in order to net someone. As he lives far from you, you have no way of knowing if he actually met these women or not. And his insipid answers havent helped you to understand why he has behaved this way. A poor show on his part.
I hope you can move on with grace and ignore the platitudes which will surely come your way once he knows you refuse to be disrespected.
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A
female
reader, FRICAN +, writes (6 April 2012):
FRICAN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there, thnxs for your response, we have been together for two yrs now,, met his parents and frieends and almost every importnt persn in his life and mine knw we r an item.i received an email from a friend then wen i opened it sayys he was inviting me to the badoo site...out of curiosity i went along ,opened an account and invited friends who r in my addres book.amoongst them my b/f..only to find that he was already registered under a fake name,and age , his last login bn a day ago and his new residential adres to it.. i confronted and sent him the email from my friend that invited me to the site, copied his profile on the site and sent also plus my new profile so he knew wht i was saying....his response was he doesnt knw y his new addres is there,plus he dint lie abt his age..i asked him if anyone else uses his email and if that was his email, o which he replied yes its his email and no, no one elses uses it... there were instances in the past where i found him flirting on FB,and other date site coz he dint log off his compter, buti think he does his own things on the side and lies abt them, thinking he will never be found....i asked him to convince me/ help me understnd hw tht happened, bt all his response r fake.....for sure i dont want to be in a relaionshp without trust, and as much as it hurts, i have decided to walk away coz once a player always a player....i deserve better.....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 April 2012):
 How long have you been "dating?" There are indeed bogus sites that fish for information and steal contacts from an email account. If he logged into his account he could be talking to people he had known on the site. Not excusing his lying just so that you know some people do talk to others as friends on dating websites.
Lying about age is not something you should accept. If you have trust issues then for God's sake stick to people in your area. He could be a decent guy once you know him well but I would not move to his place once he lied about his age he could be lying about something else too. Some people won't think, 'oh, she is spending money on the tickets, changing her residence to be with me, I should really treat her nice." Some people have no conscience and will say to you once you go there, "oh, we are not really an item, I didn't think we are serious yet."
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A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (5 April 2012):
In my opinion i would not go. Think of it this way if you had a daugher who was in the same situation would you advise her to go? Probably not. Dont you owe yourself the same concern for your own well being? To top that off he lied about his age as well? What else has he lied about. No relationship should begin with lies and considering you have had trust issues on top of that? Those are too many red flags. But as an aunt i have to be fair so my questions for you are: are you sure its him? Are you certain you have not made a lapse in judgement. And a personal question what were you doing on those dating sites as well?
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