A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a girl for a month now, we are't officially a couple, but she has said we should take things slowly.We've made out twice now, i am very inexperienced and she knows it, she isn't. So we kiss, no open mouth yet. I have fondled and sucked on her breasts, she can feel my erection, she grinds on me with clothes on, however I don't know if I'm doing things right with her, she has not said anything yet.Although I did cheekily ask after our first make out session if we are taking things slowly, can we still be able to kiss, and she said yes.I would like to have a more passionate session with her, but I am not sure if she is not embarassed to mention anything about my skills (or lack of them). I want to be a good kisser with her (not lover as we have said no sex 100%, both christians!).Should I ask her what she wants or expects, or just allow things to develop?I don't want to be selfish, I do enjoy it, she sleeps in my arms after each make out session, and we hug passionately when I leave, so what to do.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 She is experienced, so there is a kind of pretense going on when she says no sex. There is good reason for waiting. She definitely wants sex, but she has associated having sex early with relationship failure. So maybe after time she feels secure with you, feels like you are the right person then maybe she won't reject your advances. As for being inexperienced we all learn from each other's bodies. Some women feel it's important that a man lasts long whether he is experienced or not. Some just wants the intimacy and closeness during sex. You can talk about these things, see her preferences without actually doing it. I have known virgins who take hours before cumming. Sexual compatability and willingness to please and try things out are more important than experience.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 If you are both christians, well, you should not have passionate make up sessions with grinding of erections and breast sucking to begin with.
The idea of purity and sexual abstinence being that it's not so much about what you put in what orifice, but about NOT using your body on purpose for the sake of fleeting ,selfish gratificaton of senses, out of a religiously sanctioned r/ship.
It's not all about the hymen. From a religious point of view, there is really not such a great difference between
what you are doing now and complete intercourse. Chastity starts in your mind, and your intentions.
That, in theory :). If you want to do things nice and proper.
In practice, ...might as well to be hung for a sheep than for a lamb, methinks. If you are going to sin " contra sextum " and fornicate... at least fornicate well, in a pleasant way, with French kisses and all,LOL
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