A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused.My best friend is a guy,and we've had a..well..more than friends thing for over a year now.Nothing official,and I guess people would call it friends with benefits.We do act like a couple,and everyone thinks we're together.A couple of months ago,we had a very rocky period,and he started going out with this girl.Still,though,he can't stay away from me.He keeps hitting on me,and on a few occasions I've heard people say he talks about me as if I'm his girlfriend.He gets very jealous when I talk about other guys,and got real moody when I went on a date recently.What is going on with him??If he chose this other girl,then why act like this with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2012): Hey,everyone.Thank you for your replies.I have tried talking to him about it,but he just avoids the question and gets all defensive.He is also still angry with me that I went on that date with the other guy,and seems quite happy now that I'm not even talking to that guy anymore.I don't know how I got into this mess in the first place.I am now trying to decide if I should just get some distance from him,as the whole situation is getting me down.Especially since the girl he's dating keeps making fun of me,making nasty comments about how I look,etc,and writing horrible things about me on her twitter account.She's been telling her aunt stuff about me,so that the aunt actually tried to start a fight with me at the place where I work.Seriously,it's ridiculous!!I feel like I'm living in a soap!!The girl and her aunt want me gone from his life,because according to them,I ruin his life.He won't see what they're doing.He thinks I'm making it up.Maybe I should leave?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 April 2012):
 I think you need to sit him down and figure out what you two are doing either you are FWB and can BOTH see other people or you are a couple and NONE of you can see other people.
Easy really.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (8 April 2012):
 Don't worry about him being moody. Do your own thing, go out with other guys. He does not have a ring on your finger to tell you who to see and who not to see.
Let him be and see what happens.
Sometimes, men can be childish, but I'm thinking could it be that he really wants something more with you, but since he is feeling you may not be on the same page, he is trying to make you jealous by being with another girl, and when he sees that his plan is not working he gets upset.
Did you try talking to him about it? Ask him straight why is he upset. why is it ok for him to date another girl and it's not ok for you. Tell him that you want to find someone who cares for you and you are looking for someone more serious than just FWB. See what he tells you.
Keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 April 2012):
 Heh...Janniepeg. :)
If I think about elks, the images running through my head are the male elks spraying their territory and themselves. Kinda makes me forget that I was trying to make any sort of analogy! My parents made me watch way too many wildlife shows as a kid...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 April 2012):
 It's funny I am thinking animals and Youwish is thinking toys. I am sure you get jealous too but at least you don't try to control him and you get your feelings under control.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 April 2012):
It's an ego thing. Imagine a kid with an action figure. He gets bored with playing with his action figure and gets a new one. He's playing with his new action figure, but he doesn't want any other kid playing with his first action figure.
All this means is that he's selfish to the extreme. He wants to play around, but he doesn't want anyone else playing with you.
You don't need to be confused. The real question is -- do you let him treat you like he's doing, and more importantly, do you want a guy in your life who treats women so poorly? He's basically treating his current girl like a plaything, because he cares nothing for her by hitting on you while he's with her. I bet she doesn't know about that.
Whose idea is the FWB situation? If you're having feelings for him, get away from him, because he doesn't care for you that way. Women make the mistake of thinking that an FWB situation's next logical step is to develop feelings and become a relationship. It doesn't.
If your goal in life is to have an honest to goodness boyfriend who loves you and you love him, you're not going to find it in this guy. His displays of "jealousy" do not mean that he has feelings for you, or he would have left this other girl and talked to you about it.
Nope, he has two action figures...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (8 April 2012):
He wants the other girl, but he also wants you. He wants many options for himself but he expects loyalty from you, that would ensure his ability to keep his females. Sorry to sound all animal here but that's what he's acting like. I went to Alberta last Fall and I am reminded of an image of a male elk calling his females making sure they won't stray. He can be as moody as he wants. As long as you are still friends you are free to date other people, not saying it's a good idea because you still have feelings for each other.
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