A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have been divorced from my ex for about 9yrs now. We still talk on a regular basis. He now has 2 kids but indicated to me that he would never marry again unless it was me. I recently re-married almost a year ago. I love my husband, but I just realized that I am not in love with him. I am deeply in love with my ex and he indicated that he is still in love with me. It hurts me to be with someone that I am not in love with. My ex-husband stated that he had a dream that I was pregnant from him which through me for a loop. We joked around about having kids and being together again and he stated that he was working around the house preparing for my liking and also a possible nursery. I want so bad for us to be together, but my life would probably do a 360 turn around. Should I proceed with my hubby and learn to love him avoiding my ex or should pursue my ex-husband filling the void in my life?
View related questions:
divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Great or Good  +, writes (9 April 2012):
 Let the past be the past, I strong believe that when you part with your ex-hobby, it was like you wanted too, is just that you had differences that you couldn't bear or stand for it. Then forget about him cause if you go bad you might get the worse.
Learn to love you hubby. Try to make him happy and avoid conversation with your ex that will make you fall back on to him.
For you and him to part it wasn't like he is or he was a bad person, it only mean he part of the story and the story is over. Let it go.
Don't take too long on that cross road as you see the right way you has to take , take it and move on.
Let the past be the past thank you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 April 2012):
 Shit or get off the pot.
You have emotionally involved with your ex, which is cheating. Figure out WHO you want and work on that. Don't string along your "now" husband if you don't want to be with him, same goes with the ex. And if you choose your "now" husband, stop having intimate emotional conversations with your ex.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (6 April 2012):
 ok you are divorced from your ex and you are keeping a relationship with him. what does your husband think of you talking to your ex all the time, or does he even know? you made a choice you are divorced, and remarried. sounds like you don't even giving your husband a chance, seems like you are ready to dump him for your ex. seems like you are looking for excuses to go back to your ex. not in love with your husband, why did you marry him? but you find in your heart to be in love with your ex. you are basically emotionally cheating on your husband . you are looking for a reason to go back to your ex. you should be putting the time and energy into your marriage, that you are spending with your ex. my advice drop all your contact with your ex, and redirect your love to your husband. if you do that you may see that you just might be in love with your husband. has your husband been good to you, has he been faithful? you need to look at these things.
...............................
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (6 April 2012):
 He's your EX for a REASON. Unless the issues, that lead to your divorce, have suddenly been resolved, this will never work. I feel sorry for the man you're currently married to, because he believes that you love him......he has no idea that you're carrying on this little fantasy, with your ex, behind his back.
You're not some teenage girl with stars in her eyes, and dreams of donning the "white dress" and being princes for a day, so why on earth did you marry a man that you're not in love with?
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 Oh come on now, he a new significant other and two kids, where do they fit in this lovely day dream of yours, or don't they matter?
The man is your ex for a reason, not least being that you couldn't make it as a married couple last time, this time you would both be going into it with a trail of destruction behind you, your husband, and his partner and two children.
Whoo bloody hoo, he jokes about building a nursery! Well: isn't that lovely!
It would be far better if he concentrated on the two kids he already has, stop being an ostrich and get your head out of the sand, if you spent as much time building a strong loving relationshp with your current husband as you do on daydreaming with this cheater ex of yours you would be much better off.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2012): Stay with your husband and learn to love him.
You've already been married to your ex, and it ended in divorce, remember? Why not learn from that mistake rather than repeat it?
and so what if he dreamt that he got you pregnant - he obviously got someone else pregnant, twice, since he now has 2 kids yet that didn't keep them together.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 This is proof that words are sweet nectar to a woman. Just think back why you were divorced 9 years ago. You have to know that you are having an emotional affair with your ex husband. I think your ex husband is either deluded or he is purposefully finding fun in wrecking your marriage. If you think that sweet talk, fantasy is what fills a void then marriage, kids and real life is what ends the fantasy, with your ex or your current husband. My guess is that his last relationship didn't end well so he is trying with you again, rekindling what should have been. He is blaming his last relationship failure on not continuing with you. You should cut contact with your ex husband. Your ex husband stirred up infatuation chemicals in you, which are so strong that could make you doubt your present and find faults with what you have right now. You are not in love with your husband not because your ex husband is great, but because you have not been devoting totally to your husband.
...............................
|
