A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I used to think that it was the woman who always nagged at the man, my mom used to be that way so I promised myself I wouldn't be. I think I'm pretty laid-back and understanding for a girl, but my live-in boyfriend of three years will nag at me for not doing certain chores. i.e leaving the laundry in the dryer too long, not emptying out the fridge etc. I have the kind of job where I fly out of town to work vigorously for a week or two every month then come back home. But I always manage to clean the house once a week when I'm home and I pay half the expenses, I just don't do exactly what it is that he wants me to do. I am very fiery and I stand up for myself and tell him I won't take his dictating, but he just says I always talk back to him. I've always been my own person with my own opinion, that's how I was when he started dating me and fell in love with me, so I told him I think he wouldn't like it if I always just did what he said, but he said a woman who does what her man says is a woman you spend the rest of your life with. I couldn't take it anymore so I got up and left the house, a couple of hours later he text me that he was sorry,he had been feeling weird and he wanted me to come home. This cycle always repeats itself and I don't know why he nags. If I throw it back in his face about things he doesn't do, he gets really angry. Why does he do this and what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): Only a man has the right to nag his woman, not the other way around. So shut up and don't back talk to him. Men will always try to change women, not the other way around either, and they have the right to.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 April 2012):
 Important fact No 1: You and he are not married... so you and he stay together with only the most tenuous of obligation to one-another....
Important fact No 2: Because of fact No 1, HE isn't under much/any obligation to be much nicer to you.....
Important fact No 3: Based on the last bit of your submittal, it "sounds" as if you think that you have a handle on matters... AND that you expect (and believe!) that he will be nicer.
Important fact No 4: Fact No 3 is not very likely to come to pass.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 April 2012):
 Sit down with your BF and make a chore-list - you do your half, he does his.
And your BF sounds like a misogynist..
"but he said a woman who does what her man says is a woman you spend the rest of your life with" What kind of archaic bullshit is that?
Sorry, I think your BF is a throwback from the 1940's and needs to arrive in this century sooner rather then later, however I don't think he will change AT all, so it's up to you to figure out if you can deal with this or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): Set up a schedule of jobs to do around the house and stick to it. Tell him this is the way things work in the real world- you help each other and don't live in the cave ages.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 I think he nags at you because he is initimated by your career and he is trying to gain back dominance in the household, taking his place back as a man. A woman should does what a man tells her to. That doesn't work nowadays. You said you won't take his dictating, then mean what you say, leave and don't look back. Even when the woman makes less than he does he would be ridiculed for talking like that. Another option would be to hire a maid once a week.
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