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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I feel like my wife settled with me and its really bothering me!
Q. Ok here is my story. I met my wife 14 years ago. She was 19 and i was 28. I met her through a friend. She had a daughter and i had 2 daughters from previous relstionships. The first time I met her I asked her what she thought of me and she said I ...
A. 24 July 2014: This whole thing just doesn't make any sense. I think your wife bad mouthed you to her mother, or told lies about you such as you cheating. Maybe she even said she still loved her ex. Her mom never had to see the other guys' flaws. Your wife got the ... (read in full...)
One minute he wants marriage, the next he gives me up?
Q. His feelings are so wishy washy One minute he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me then the next he says Im his bestfriend. Then he'll say that he wants to be committed and then get married and then next he says, I should be with s...
A. 27 September 2013: That's even more absurd. I think he has a great fear of being taken advantage of so he thought that by distancing himself you would constantly prove yourself to him. That's the only way he feels safe in a relationship. Stay with him if you want take ... (read in full...)
One minute he wants marriage, the next he gives me up?
Q. His feelings are so wishy washy One minute he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me then the next he says Im his bestfriend. Then he'll say that he wants to be committed and then get married and then next he says, I should be with s...
A. 27 September 2013: This is simple. The talking about the future past makes you stay. The backing out part absolves him from responsibility. He says you are not together. So don't talk to him anymore. It really doesn't have to be analyzed in depth. You are either ... (read in full...)
A conversation about a friend led to resentment of my wife's different treatment of me and her ex lovers.
Q. aqwsasThe other night at supper I was telling my wife of 32 years about a young lady at work. This woman was telling a story about a friend of hers who worked three jobs and when he came home from work his wife turned their three kids over to him ...
A. 27 September 2013: I think any man would rather be you than be bribed to become a slave in the house. I swallow, but life has not treated me fair.
I think your wife said disgusting because she had to visualize her friend doing it, and that she is using swal... (read in full...)
The guy I like went back to his ex because he misses the child. What should I do?
Q. Please can someone help me what to do I am so much in love with a guy who loves me to but he's gone back to his ex cos he misses his son which isn't his biologically but has been there since born little one is 3 now he texts me everyday telling me ...
A. 26 September 2013: You don't refer him as boyfriend so I think there's never been a relationship and he can do whatever he wants. If you are indeed in a relationship then he's violating your trust, because a man can be a caring father figure without being in a ... (read in full...)
Crush admitted that he kissed me only because he was drunk!
Q. Ok I've been in love with this guy for like 2 years but he's never gown that kind of interest in me, we're just close friends - we can talk about whatever- and sometimes we flirt a little but he flirts with everyone really, anyway we got drunk at a ...
A. 25 September 2013: There are a few red flags about the guy:
He referred his ex as cow of a girlfriend. He has no respect for women and comes across as arrogant and mean.
He kissed you even though he didn't see you that way. Taking advantage of you. Also lied about fa... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up and he's moved on but I feel like I'm still at stage 1!
Q. My ex dumped me four months ago. He was my first and it was a serious relationship for both of us. We had no contact for 3 months until last month he called and said he missed me and needed me. I told him to move on because it was a bad breakup and ...
A. 25 September 2013: When you said he hurt you too much, that means no going back. You have to stay strong. You missed the good times you've had, but in reality he's not good boyfriend material. Keep on remembering his bad qualities. It seems your mind is hell bent on ... (read in full...)
My ex has been on my mind alot and I want to contact him. Should I?
Q. About 3 years ago, I met a man. I'll be completely honest, things weren't always the best and by the end, I was pretty low. He broke my heart. At the time, I was at a very tumultuous phase anyway. I was finishing my undergrad and had no idea where ...
A. 25 September 2013: I think it's fine to contact him so you don't have to wonder about the what ifs. Before you do that you could check his facebook to see his status and pictures. If he is attached then you can stop thinking about him and move on. If he is single and ... (read in full...)
It feels like he blames me for finding out about this child with an ex of his!
Q. I've been married for almost 17-years. When we started dating (first year) we had sex almost everyday. After 5-months into our relationship, we were informed that my husband could be a dad from a former girlfriend (she had four boyfriends at the ...
A. 25 September 2013: For more than 16 years he had been hating you for doing the right thing. Yet the lack of sex could be due to age, or being impotent. He feels old and useless so instead of checking up his health he blamed it all on you. What you did, accepting his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says "don't get used to me doing things for you" and then does nice things. What am I supposed to do?
Q. Hey everyone, So I got into a tiff my boyfriend..earlier during the date he said 'don't get used to me doing things for you' and I don't know why he would say that when I don't make him do anything.. He never lets me pay when we go out infact w...
A. 23 September 2013: He has a phobia of being taken for granted. I have never seen a guy like this. Maybe it's similar to: If you went to France, you speak French at the store, then they will speak English to you. If you speak English and not try to learn their language ... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 23 September 2013: If you had mentioned the double standard in the post then people wouldn't think you were controlling. Turns out he is not a softy/pussy but a selfish passive aggressive person. Now I know this girl knows about you too. I have no idea why you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says "don't get used to me doing things for you" and then does nice things. What am I supposed to do?
Q. Hey everyone, So I got into a tiff my boyfriend..earlier during the date he said 'don't get used to me doing things for you' and I don't know why he would say that when I don't make him do anything.. He never lets me pay when we go out infact w...
A. 23 September 2013: He's a jerk. He knows the dating etiquette but has a massive conflict about wanting to pay. He's making both of you stress out too much over money. I don't what the point is having a girlfriend when he hates that role so much. You are not ... (read in full...)
Everything seemed to change once we got engaged
Q. I have just gonna engaged in May.. I have known him since 2007. We have been good friends since then. I have never noticed his presence in my life. I always end up with different guys and run to him crying confiding to him my breakup stories. He has ...
A. 23 September 2013: You are arguing now that means for the next two years you would be wondering if the wedding should happen. I think it is more than him not feeling the need to chase anymore. You had mentioned that you always chose other guys and run back to him. He ... (read in full...)
I feel like my wife settled with me and its really bothering me!
Q. Ok here is my story. I met my wife 14 years ago. She was 19 and i was 28. I met her through a friend. She had a daughter and i had 2 daughters from previous relstionships. The first time I met her I asked her what she thought of me and she said I ...
A. 23 September 2013: I don't understand why her mom has to watch his kid. Shouldn't the in law relationship end too, especially when that's not her grand kid? Or did she lie and actually that's her kid?
This is not a case of she did this, this in the past and you didn... (read in full...)
He didn't celebrate my birthday. Am I overreacting if I break things off?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about a month now. As far as I know, we have been seeing each other exclusively. Things have been going well this far until my birthday yesterday. I had a birthday dinner with friends scheduled for the day before my ...
A. 23 September 2013: Happy Birthday! It was my birthday yesterday also. Didn't celebrate it except for a cake. There was also a poster who was alone on his birthday. Sounds like this a theme for 9/22 this year. Personally I don't take birthdays seriously.
I think you ... (read in full...)
I think he's gay but he has a girlfriend. I want to tell him I am gay.
Q. Hello there. I have a problem. recently I've really started to like this guy at work but hes going of to uni till December. The problem is I'm gay and I and lots of other people think he is but he has a girl friend. I'm ok with that because...
A. 23 September 2013: You have to treat this just as any other office flirting. There are many closeted businessmen and dads that would not risk their reputation by having an affair, let alone being openly called gay. They would go on business trips, get their secret ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one feeling this way? Does he miss me too?
Q. I was with this guy for only a little over a month. We were very close and bonded very well. But he felt I was insecure and kept pushing him away when he was trying to get to know me better, therefore he decided to cut off completely. It's been two ...
A. 23 September 2013: Do you feel you were insecure? Is it possible that he was insecure and projecting it on you?
When you related to your short affair you described it as very close and bonded very well. So I wonder if this is all one sided. Unless you acted craz... (read in full...)
He opened up to me, And now hes avoiding the subject!
Q. Please bare with me. IM so confused and really need advice from everyone and anyone. I have been talking to this guy for about 3 months. We talked a few years ago as well but we lost contact due to an ex trying to sabotage us. Anyway, back to...
A. 23 September 2013: If a guy says to me he's scared of getting hurt, I don't take it as a sign of go ahead, I would feel that he can't handle emotions in a relationship and it's best that he's single for a while. I can imagine when you are with him he would check on ... (read in full...)
Why do guys pretend like they are looking for a great personality when it's really just physical attraction they are looking for? Why don't people just admit the shallow truth?
Q. From experience and observation, I know for a fact that a huge majority men do NOT give a crap about a woman's personality. They just instantly know whether they are going to put up with a woman's crap or not. If you find someone physical...
A. 22 September 2013: Your response also brought up why men love bitches and treat nice girls like doormats. Bitches provide the spice and demand respect. Doormats are boring. Bitches spend more times bettering their looks while doormats are too busy worrying about the ... (read in full...)
Can't stop cheating on my boyfriend -- why?
Q. I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years, but I can't stop cheating on him. Our relationship is really good and we love each other so much, he isn't romantic but he is such an affectionate guy. I've been looking on line to try and ...
A. 22 September 2013: What strikes me in this post is that you don't feel bad about the cheating, only when you fear you would lose a good boyfriend.
Online maybe you were looking for reasons why in general people cheat. You didn't search abuse survivors and sex addi... (read in full...)
I ended it because I was afraid of how strongly I felt about him
Q. I am trying so hard to forget about this man i am very much attracted to. But the more I deny I have feelings for him, the more I keep thinking about him. I think I am in love with him but I am not so sure. The last time I have spoken to him was 3 ...
A. 22 September 2013: You can be in love and at the same time afraid of love. You date other guys and it didn't work because you are dating them to get over that one person, and not necessarily because you like the other guys. I think you are infatuated with him. You ... (read in full...)
How can someone just give up on someone you claim you have great love for
Q. My ex and I of 3 years broke up offically about 3 months ago. We were on and off for the last year of our relationship. I heard rumors of him dating someone new but I didn't know or really want to know because it was so devastating to think he could ...
A. 22 September 2013: I don't think a person who does on and off can be serious about the whole future thing. He is in love with the chase and the idea of happily ever after. He could be a serial dater that can only be great until the real thing has to be manifested. Did ... (read in full...)
My body issues are holding me back from losing my virginity.
Q. Hi all, I'm in a bit of a difficult spot. I want to lose my virginity with my girlfriend but I also have intimacy issues (I am embarrassed about the way my chest looks) which is making this hard. She has mentioned making love before, but I so...
A. 22 September 2013: Summer was just here. You were not that covered up so she won't be that surprised when you are naked. I am thinking of big scars from surgery, being hairless or manboobs. I can deal with scars. Being hairless is not a problem. Manboobs is a sign of ... (read in full...)
Why do guys pretend like they are looking for a great personality when it's really just physical attraction they are looking for? Why don't people just admit the shallow truth?
Q. From experience and observation, I know for a fact that a huge majority men do NOT give a crap about a woman's personality. They just instantly know whether they are going to put up with a woman's crap or not. If you find someone physical...
A. 22 September 2013: I think so too. They don't want you to think they are shallow. I am not sure if it's the huge majority. In public spaces I see a lot of mismatched couples so personality and stability win in the long haul. In the media this is what we learn to ... (read in full...)
Three of us are friends. She dumped him but now I like the guy.
Q. So to try and cut this story down. Last year my friend was dating a guy who I had been friends with for a few years previous. Anyway they broke up last year, she dumped him by text, which kind of put me in an awkward situation, I felt needed to have ...
A. 21 September 2013: If a girl has to dump a guy by text, she had better just disappear from his life and not expect him to talk to her. If she has a problem with his silence she would have a problem with you dating him. She wouldn't be hurt but more like, "what are you ... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 21 September 2013: You went from "talking to this guy every now and then" to "don't want to be with him anymore," and he has been depressed about this situation, or other things. Which suggests there are feelings on both sides and neither of you would admit there is a ... (read in full...)
We plan to wait for sex until marriage. He still tries it on me but get pouty if I don't let him.
Q. I'm 23yrs old while my boyfriend is 28yrs we've dating getting to 4yrs now and everything is moving fine we both love eachother so much and we've not have sex because we both agreed that sex should be when we get married but the last time i pay him ...
A. 21 September 2013: I am not going to argue whether it's a good idea to wait until marriage, because apparently it is for you but you have to stick to it. Most people are just going to tell you there is no point in waiting and that waiting does not make the ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to do this in sex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...
A. 21 September 2013: Some guys are used to masturbating to porn. A lot of videos end with a guy using his hand while the girl waits. It is the visual effect. He can see better than when the bodies get in the way. The swallowing is a sign of submission. Also it lowers ... (read in full...)
Relationship problem with family and boyfriend.
Q. hi, I've got a realtionship problem been going on for ages now n getting annoyed with it, my boyfriend has a grudge against my family he gets annoyed when I try n speak to my mum over phone and I hardly ever get a chance to talk to her or rest of my ...
A. 20 September 2013: Your boyfriend is very possessive and making you choose between him and your family. You just moved in with him and right now it may be annoyance but later it could escalate into verbal fights, or you give in. He's slowly isolating you from your ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact, or is she too cold for me?
Q. I have been seeing this chick for 2 months now and the relationship so far has been very boring relationship. She really doesn't communicate. We had sex a week after we met up and it was great. Then we had sex 1 more time but it's always me ...
A. 20 September 2013: I don't think you are overreacting. I am thinking she wasn't communicating because her true self didn't like you much. Instead of breaking off with you she was waiting for you to do it, but being cold. She is able to enjoy sex, but in a relationship ... (read in full...)
He suggested places to be intimate, but all I thought about was him sleeping with other girls in the past.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a 2 minths now and we had sex for the first time last weekend, (I lost my virginity to him, he has slept with girls before) and a few days later we got onto the subject of different places to have sex, he mentioned a ...
A. 20 September 2013: He needs to create memories with you that are fresh for him too. When it comes to the subject of sex, it's hard to avoid past exes. I just tell myself to not think about it. Luckily I am not the obsessive type. When something unpleasant comes to ... (read in full...)
As soon as we returned from a lovely trip, his whole demeanor changed. Why the 180?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month now. We just got home from an amazing trip to the mountains (4 days). Everything wss petfect. No awkwardness, fights, nothing but hugging, kissing, hand holding, and love making the whole time. But as soon ...
A. 17 September 2013: You determine the strength of the relationship but during the vacation, but after it. There could be 100 reasons why he was distant. Some examples are, he's still hung up on his ex. He is actually married. He has money troubles. He has emotional ... (read in full...)
Should I date this older woman?
Q. Dear all, I am really torn about this and need some objective advice (besides I am too ashamed to ask any of my friends). I will start with a quick summary about myself: I am 30 years old and had only had one relationship in my whole life. I...
A. 17 September 2013: If she is as wise as her age, she knows that you are not that into her. She knows that you prefer younger women. You will be a jerk to pretend to love her just until you find a better suitor. You are not a jerk if you straight out ask her if she is ... (read in full...)
What went wrong? She's been distant since I told her I stop flirting with different girls on twitter.
Q. Hello, i am a bit confused and i would like some advice. I have noticed a change in a female i recently met at a party about 8 months ago. because she lives quite a bit from me, we have been communicating more on the phone and on line. Ho...
A. 17 September 2013: Did you tell her you like her, or did you tell her you like her therefore you stopped talking to other girls? That's a big difference.
Does she check your twitter? I assume you told her because how else would she know you changed your habit for ... (read in full...)
All I really need to know from you is do you think he can love me if he's done that? And does he want to be with me?
Q. I assume you will all tell me to get rid once youve read my question but what I really want to know is can he love me if he did this? Do you think he really wants to be with me? So ive been with my boyfriend since feb, neither of us were looking ...
A. 17 September 2013: No I don't think he loves you. You were supposedly dating exclusively since February. 6 weeks is nothing when a guy loves you. I don't believe his guilty feelings. Being busy and away are not excuses. He wants to be with you and he wants you to ... (read in full...)
How can I help my girlfriend feel less "broken" and regain confidence after a previously emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. A little over 5 months ago I met my "dream girl", and our relationship has been going really well so far. I'm 24 and she is 22. She doesn't seem to have a whole lot of confidence in herself though. I asked her about it in the nicest way possible and ...
A. 15 September 2013: The crying may not be linked to being broken. The tear ducts are more productive in women. Maybe the movie was very touching too and there was something in the moment just got to her. Adding your sweet words it was a very sentimental moment. I think ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend discusses our intimate details with his best friend. Should I not let this worry me so much?
Q. Hey, my bf likes to tell his best friend (male) all the intimate details of our relationship and I need advice on how to not let this worry me. I found out from the GF of his bestfriend who is told all about what my bf says. It kinda hurts as it's ...
A. 15 September 2013: You don't have to tolerate this, just tell him to stop. I don't know why you didn't the first time he did this. Venting frustrations and leaking personal details are two different things. He is not respecting the relationship and your privacy by ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong in how I asked the question about her 'number'? I've had 6 sexual partners, she's had 65.
Q. I am not your typical guy but to date in my life i have had a total of six female sexual partners. All were long term relationships and each relationship was rewarding and satisfying. I started these when i was sixteen years old and continued ...
A. 15 September 2013: Male or female, I can't be with a person who slapped me in the face. I think she was rejected many times after men found out her number. When she felt that you are the one she wants to spend long term with, and then you asked her those questions, ... (read in full...)
Did she cheat on me?......Can I trust her?......please help me
Q. Ok, about 6 months ago I started talking to this girl, she's an international student from China, and after around two weeks of talking we decided to meet each other. Now I did find it strange that she let me sleep in her bed the first night. And we ...
A. 14 September 2013: I wouldn't even bother finding out. This post reminds me of this guy:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/soul83
Just a coincidence that the girl is also Chinese, travels a lot, not trustworthy, uses guys for convenience and also crazy. Don't ever bec... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to give up everything to be close to my son?
Q. My ex has decided to leave the state we are in for a distant one taking our son with her. Our son is 11 years old. She has decided to leave b/c her mother is ill, and she would like to be by her side. She has all of her family away, and has just ...
A. 14 September 2013: Not crazy. You followed your heart. I applaud you for taking that risk. Good things will come back to you. Children always come first. There are kids who do okay with one parent living in another state but this is not something I can do with my son. ... (read in full...)
Is fisting normal?
Q. I just met a beautiful 22 year old (I'm 10 years older) and after our 1st intercourse, she asked me to "fist" her. She derived huge pleasure from it but I was shocked. I've had considerable experience but never have I had a girl ask me this. ...
A. 14 September 2013: It's not common at all. She likes extreme sex while you are more reserved, like most of us. Even in porn this is not in mainstream acts. Since this is after your first time with her, I would wonder if just a penis is not enough to satisfy her.
Y... (read in full...)
He's become distant, why do you think that is in my case?
Q. Hi everyone. Ok so I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and recently he asked me to move in with him. I told him I wasn't sure because he spends most of his time with his friends and I don't want to move in to basically live myself (I've posted ...
A. 10 September 2013: Well, that's the exact reason you shouldn't move in with him. Although maybe he is feeling manipulated into changing, and men don't like women changing them. You don't love who he is now. I don't blame you, who loves a man who prioritizes his male ... (read in full...)
Why did my sincere love for her wind up with me in such pain?
Q. I think have posted abut my problem many times but this one is different related to my Ex American wife. I met here through internet and she came to Pakistan and we married here. She applied for spouse visa for me in the US and close to my ...
A. 10 September 2013: I forgot what you fought about, but she only got with you right after her break up from her ex boyfriend. You were a rebound and gave her confidence again. I am sorry but I could not say that you were in a relationship with her, so you can't talk ... (read in full...)
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