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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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No longer sexually attracted to my husband! Should I leave him?
Q. I'm 24, and married to a 25 year old. When I first met him, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and same with him to me. We dated for a year, then got married when I was 21 and he was 22. He still feels just as attracted to me as when we met, eve...
A. 26 June 2013: When you say you leave him, it's because it frees you up to have sex with guys you lust for. But to tell you, earn more money, be independent and get a house, or to find a sexy guy to marry within a few years seem too good to be true. Before you ... (read in full...)
I am addicted to chasing men and I don't know how to stop
Q. Hi there. I am a woman in her early thirties, and I think I have an addiction to chasing men. I know that many people will read this and want to give me the advice "just stop" but if it was that easy I would have done it a long time ago. I real...
A. 26 June 2013: The title seemed more serious than what it is but I think it is great that you are aware that something is not right. Dating should be fun and not torturous. You should not overanalyze the past and find things wrong with yourself. Both guys you ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my girlfriend? We don't seem to have that spark.
Q. My and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three months. She is 18 and im 22. My problem is that we dont seem to talk very much. I am naturally quite quiet and she is too I suppose, but I just wonder if this is normal. I see my friends ...
A. 23 June 2013: You are not wrong in feeling this way. I am not a talker but I can't stand a loud incessant chatter either. I always sit and listen to other people and wonder what is there to talk about. For some people it takes them effort to shut up while for me ... (read in full...)
I am confused: I don't particularly like the guy but don't want to break contact either ....
Q. Hey All, I posted this question before and it was basically about this guy I met on a dating site. I did not like him too much but I think he liked the date, and me. I didn't want to judge too early so I decided to take it forth. We are i...
A. 23 June 2013: We fall into this trap: Something is better than nothing. It had become a habit and it feels empty to suddenly have that taken away. It's also hard to be the one who dumps because it feels cruel. I think he is comfortable with this arrangement ... (read in full...)
Is this normal to feel like this? My ex would not speak to me at a friend's wedding and it made me feel horrible.
Q. Yesterday I attended a friend's birthday party and ran into my long-term ex girlfriend and her new(ish) partner. We were together for many years and hadn't seen each other in quite a while. We knew each other would be attending but her partner ...
A. 23 June 2013: You didn't run into her. You were put together in the same table.
You know when you talk to an ex with a long time of silence, it will be awkward. It won't just be a casual how are you. You will be looking for signs that she still has feel... (read in full...)
He says he loves me even though he cheated, got another woman pregnant and plan to marry her
Q. I've been seeing this guy since march 2012. I was 20 and he was 33. He's from south america and was doing his masters. It was his last year here and after he's done with the masters he was supposed to leave. So we started this knowing we don't ...
A. 16 June 2013: They were not one night stands. They were doing long distance and he had probably promised her marriage here in Canada. He used the limited time frame to lure you in as a live in sexual partner. It had started casual but then he used "love" to stop ... (read in full...)
Age differences: what's ok and what's not?
Q. I'm attracted to a 19 year old guy... but I'm 22. While the age difference isn't that big, I feel like this is the time in your life where you are maturing fast and growing up. He just graduated high school last year while I've been out for 4 y...
A. 16 June 2013: If you feel there is nothing wrong with dating for fun, then moving on to a more suitable partner when you are ready for a family, then go for it. Some people don't see a point in dating someone knowing that it will end some day. When you are ... (read in full...)
Curious about my wife's sexual past
Q. My wife and I have been together 9 years, and had the whole "how many people have you ******" conversation many years ago. Ever since then, I, like many husbands, still wonder "is that her real number, or is she holding some back?" The history she ...
A. 16 June 2013: She had been very open with you and trust that you accept her, so I don't think adding 10 more numbers would change anything. Doing the math here, there is nothing unusual about the number. She had been so busy with embellishing her body, plus ... (read in full...)
He has put a stop to sex before marriage. How should I take this when we had a great sex life anyway?
Q. Dear cupids, my boyfriend of 1 year and i have a really healthy sex life, and even though he is the only man i've ever slept with, i never felt like i need to try a second flavor or anything. On the other hand, after a chat last night with my bo...
A. 16 June 2013: If I am being positive, it could mean that he takes marriage seriously and he wants to make sure this relationship is based on love, not sex. He wants to keep wooing you and wants to love you without the motive of sex.
The other part of me feel... (read in full...)
Am I attracting the wrong type of guys because of my "cute innocent" vibe? How can I attract regular nice guys?
Q. Guys who hit on me are in most part a few years older (7 and over) or a few years younger... Don't get me wrong. I don't have an issue with dating guys with a few years of difference in age (i prefer 3 to 5 years older though), what's more important ...
A. 16 June 2013: I don't think it has to do with what race you are. When you dress modestly men feel you are easy to approach. You have to be clear about what kind of friendship you want, what you would be doing with them. Join an activity group so there is a focus ... (read in full...)
Would you dump a nice guy that makes too little money?
Q. Im in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a nice guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very little ...
A. 16 June 2013: I think it would be nicer if you go on dates with other men and then forget about him (not call back). That's better than cutting him off right after you know how much he makes. There are websites that show you the average salary for any job in ... (read in full...)
I want a more fulfilling relationship and girlfriend spends majority of her time with family and friends
Q. I am having a major problem with my girlfriend. I have a fear that the relationship might end, which I think is making me act a bit irrationally, which is only making it worse. I need a little constructive help... We've been together over 3 ...
A. 6 June 2013: I won't suggest marriage, as you add more people to your household it only means less time for you. If anything it becomes a parallel marriage, you only get married to drift apart more.
I think she is living with you because it's close to camp... (read in full...)
Spotted a guy I really fancy on an online dating site - should I message him or not?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now (am staying in my university town all summer due to family issues). However, I was curious as to what was out there besides boys from my uni and decided to join an online dating site for fun ...
A. 6 June 2013: You should look for guys who want to be friends. I am 32 and I didn't start looking online until I was 30. I don't look for younger guys so I am not too sure what this crowd is like. My experience is that there are a lot of men looking for sex but ... (read in full...)
Do I really sound like the failure my father-in-law makes me out to be?
Q. my relation ship with my wife of 10 years is really on rocks due to her parents (specially her fathers) unnecessary interference in to our family life. She is too attached to her parents and the old man just keep taking total advantage of the ...
A. 3 June 2013: Only I small percentage of people today can afford a home without any help. The income your father in law made in his 30's probably wouldn't be enough for your house. When he talks like that the family members won't say anything to him but secretly ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like my boyfriend was molested by his dad?
Q. I think my boyfriend was molested as a child. The even crazier thing is I suspect it was by his own parents. The first time I thought something was weird was because he told me he knew about sexual acts at a very pre mature age. He said when he was ...
A. 2 June 2013: You know your boyfriend is weird, what kind of weird you don't know so you are trying to dig for answers. However it does not sound like child abuse for me. It sounds like he needed a lot of extra help growing up and he is not done growing up yet. ... (read in full...)
How do you know whether to keep trying in a relationship, or to just move on?
Q. I'm 20, have been with my boyfriend (25) for 2 years. He is very loyal, affectionate, loving and absolutely adores me. For the past 6 months he just irrates me constantly. He's not very intelligent, lives with his parents, works in a fact...
A. 2 June 2013: A break is a step towards permanent break up so there is no going back. You know each other long enough to discuss marriage. If you decide to get married in the future, 6 months is nothing. The way you talk about him it implies you will make much ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him for a long time, and miss him a lot!
Q. Thanks for help first. I knew a man three years ago from a party. Since I was married at the time, we never talked and saw each other again. I am separated now. Since I was lonely, I went to sing and met the same man again. I told him I wo...
A. 1 June 2013: I don't agree dancing is the first step to dating. Dating is the first step to getting to know one another. His attitude already told you his time is more important than yours, and he does not care about you during the day time. Your earlier ... (read in full...)
"He wishes he has met me when he was older?" What do his words mean? Is it a bad thing that he said this?
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for some clarification or an opinion on something my boyfriend said to me. We have been together for over 3 years now, and we had a conversation a few nights ago where he said that "You're the forever girl, you're the one wher...
A. 1 June 2013: It's a compliment that you are a girl every man wants. It's not a good thing because he's still young and not ready for commitment. When you are a relationship a man does not have the freedom to live a single life. He can have decent male friends to ... (read in full...)
How long do I give him this 'break' for? Should I get in touch to clarify this?
Q. I am really confused - my fiance had been blowing hot and cold since February this year basically since I lost my job and things were financially hard for us. We got engaged on New Year's Eve and I thought it was a new beginning for us - we have...
A. 27 May 2013: I would never accept breaks in a relationship because they mean the other person doesn't want to work things out with you. If he was messaging girls when he was decent, he must be messaging someone now. Breaks are also a way to postpone marriage. An ... (read in full...)
After a fight and make up, girlfriend says no sex. We are going on a holiday and no sex???
Q. Hi AA's This question is long winded so apologies. Ive been going out with a girl for 4 years now, in reality she is very insecure but also has to have her own way as she believes what she wants is the right thing and dosnt see outside the bo...
A. 26 May 2013: I will take it to mean that she is not sure it will work in the long term. She may not feel relaxed and let go if she fears another break up in the future. She agreed to go on the trip because it would be a waste to cancel it. Not every couple fight ... (read in full...)
When he doesn't want me, he throws me away. When he does want me, he expects me to go flying to him!
Q. I broke up with my ex last month because he drifted apart. He's white and I'm Asian. He studies abroad now. He never contacted me so I asked him for closure. He didn't say anything either. I was pissed because I don't even deserve a closure after ...
A. 26 May 2013: Worse than a whore. You even have to pay for sex and love. You are giving away yourself for free and he has no urgency to marry you. You should ignore him and never look back.... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him for a long time, and miss him a lot!
Q. Thanks for help first. I knew a man three years ago from a party. Since I was married at the time, we never talked and saw each other again. I am separated now. Since I was lonely, I went to sing and met the same man again. I told him I wo...
A. 25 May 2013: I don't think feelings got involved yet. You were asking for a date, but his schedule would not allow him to devote time for a relationship. You two are looking for different things. If he wanted a relationship he will make time for it. Right now he ... (read in full...)
Is being without a sense of direction, perpous, or,meaning to our lives getting too popular in Western culture??
Q. I know that this isnt a love, dating, or sexual question but this sight is full mindfull and intelligent individuals and I was.wondering if any of you felt the same way about Western society today?? As a man in my twenties I do not want to soun...
A. 20 May 2013: When you say western I take that to mean developped and technologically advanced countries with mega tropolis, dense cities. When you see that there is nothing else left to improve on, and that being wealthy does not equal happiness, people lose ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 8 months is ignoring me after a fight
Q. My boyfriend of 8 months is completely ignoring me. It's been 5 days with no contact. We got into a stupid fight about him always wanting to do things on his schedule and him being inconsiderate towards me. I was trying to have a conversation but...
A. 20 May 2013: I believe you handled this well. You might think you were fighting over something stupid, but for him it was a big deal and he was crushed that he was not the perfect guy for you. Throughout the relationship I see that you were trying your best to ... (read in full...)
What city should I file for divorce in?
Q. I am thinking very seriously about divorcing my spouse. I was wondering if I plan on moving after I give him the papers do I find a lawyer in the city I live in now or then city I plan to move to? It will be in the same state. ...
A. 20 May 2013: If the divorce is amicable and your husband is easy to talk too, handle documments promptly, then deal with it now. If it involves messy emotions or he couldn't really believe this is happening, then a separation is good. After a year's separation ... (read in full...)
Why do I want my ex back? Why can't I accept that its over?
Q. I am 18 years of age and my ex boyfriend is 22. We have been together 2years today. We have been split up for 3 weeks tomorrow. My ex split up with me because he said he needed a break because we had been living together for a few weeks because I ...
A. 20 May 2013: You need to straighten things out with your family and not depend on cheater boyfriends or other guy friends for a place to stay. Malta is a place to sight see and blow money, not an indefinite lodging place. It's hard for you to move on because you ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him because of this girl and now I feel like she's replaced me. I'm really hurt
Q. Hi guys. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years because he was basically cheating on me. He didn't sleep with her or physically cheat on me, but I found out that him and her were flirting a lot and always up talking all night and exchanging ...
A. 20 May 2013: You made the right choice breaking up with him. What happened is that he enjoyed cheap thrills to boost his ego. He cared about getting this need met more than your own feelings. He does not care about the other woman also, as long as she makes him ... (read in full...)
Do you think Steve and I will ever have a normal relationship?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I've been with Steve over 1 year. I'd consider myself a fairly attractive and confident 26 year old, he's 31. We've had an extremely tough year so please bear with the long background info. I used to work with Steve then...
A. 20 May 2013: Don't confuse wanting a normal relationship as loving Steve. He is definitely not on the same timeline as you. From what you described there is nothing lovable about steve. He'd had already had his family and is certainly in no rush to have another ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone with so many tattoos? Or would you fear it would ruin your reputation?
Q. Today while on lunch break a friend said to me, very openly and out loud, "did you see all the tattoos on that guy's face? He must have been to prison!" I quietly nodded then thought of something... I was very attracted to another friend who had m...
A. 20 May 2013: This means I am judgmental then but at least I know to keep my mouth shut. I won't look for one with tatoos but if I became friends with one and he showed me good qualities then I wouldn't care less what other people think. My first impression is ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him for a long time, and miss him a lot!
Q. Thanks for help first. I knew a man three years ago from a party. Since I was married at the time, we never talked and saw each other again. I am separated now. Since I was lonely, I went to sing and met the same man again. I told him I wo...
A. 20 May 2013: Respect does not mean not touching you. Men who casual sex can also be well mannered and compassionate. He doesn't have to be a jerk to want just one thing. A man can look up to you at the same time not wanting a committment due to time restraints ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him for a long time, and miss him a lot!
Q. Thanks for help first. I knew a man three years ago from a party. Since I was married at the time, we never talked and saw each other again. I am separated now. Since I was lonely, I went to sing and met the same man again. I told him I wo...
A. 19 May 2013: If he is the only worker in his business, it means the only spare time he has is odd hours or in the evening. Even if you get to date him you will miss him a lot. You are prepared to talk about lives, jobs and future. His evasiveness may mean that ... (read in full...)
So girls, would you rather have a chat and a long cuddle etc from a guy you are attracted to, or better that he not approach you at all, if he can't give you more time?
Q. Question for girls, I have quite long periods when I don't have time to date girls, due to time restraints of work and being on call there. My job requires me at times to be in the busy nightlife area. I often get signals from girls trying to get me ...
A. 19 May 2013: I don't mind having a chat and long cuddle. No one can assume sex and relationship always at a bar. If one gets upset that could mean she is frustrated with her life and it has nothing to do with you. You owe them no explanation unless you said you ... (read in full...)
My mother in law expects me to wait on her hand and foot just because I'm married to her son
Q. Dear Cupids I am a troubled woman. I am staying with my mother in law but I have so much bitterness and unresolved issues with her. I decided to stop calling my mum in law last month because she would harass me each time I called her and made lif...
A. 19 May 2013: Your mother in law can't impose outdated familial rules on you. Your husband won't be in college forever. So next time he comes home for a break ask him to arrange assisted living for his mom. Don't be afraid of confronting this issue with him as ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps breaking up and then saying she regrets it. What am I supposed to do?
Q. i'm having a bit of a hard time lately. i've been with my girlfriend about a year now and sometimes our ups and downs really effect me. since this is anonymous, i don't feel too bad disclosing this information, seeing as how it's very pertinent. ...
A. 19 May 2013: Sounds like borderline personality to me. I am all for supporting individuals who want to lead a healthy normal life but one thing I won't accept is a break up, then getting back together, then breaking up again on a whim. She has to learn that she ... (read in full...)
HE can see his parents and take time off work for friends but not for me.
Q. Hello, I dont know if anyone has been in the same situation as me but would love to hear what you say.... I'm 23 have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, we met on the first day of uni and have stuck together since. We live together...
A. 18 May 2013: I don't know if you have your own career dream, but perhaps you can share his burden of work since you are the name of the business? Like being his assistant, accountant or whatever?
I would only tolerate the lack of attention right now if he has ... (read in full...)
I've become more possessive with partner who seems happy around everyone but me.
Q. My mind is completely shattered as I write this question.I fell in love with a guy who waited 3 years for me. It has been almost an year since we got committed. Of course there have been problems but we were never tired of each other. But now, it is ...
A. 18 May 2013: If this is his first relationship, he has no idea what a relationship brings and he may not be ready to settle down without playing the field a bit. You dated him for his good qualities and right now you are living with his bad ones. Maybe he is ... (read in full...)
How do I keep him still wanting to meet up?
Q. Hi, I recently separated coming out of a 17 years of emotional and sometimes physical abuse; i now see myself as a strong independent woman with a respectable career and i believe no one looking at me could really guess what I'm coming out of. Now I ...
A. 18 May 2013: You already said you are not looking for relationships right now so it is up to him how to handle this. Your continued meetings, together with a detached attitude will show him that not all women are emotional sheep to be protected from predators. ... (read in full...)
He "wants to bang other girls"
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year at the end of this month. He went on a "rugby tour" with alot of his rugby friends about a week ago, and since then a lot of his people have been saying to me "I just want to bang other girls" now until ...
A. 18 May 2013: You might want to ask him why he isn't bothered with sex anymore but I suspect he won't communicate his true thoughts. Are there things stopping you, such as privacy and venue? He might give up on it if sex has to be sneaky. When one suppresses sex ... (read in full...)
Am I demasculated pushover?
Q. Hey everyone, this is something that plaeged me growing up and especially in my teen and college years. Despite the fact that I love him to death, my Father seems to fit the bill for the "Nice Guy" profile while I grew up in the far more than sim...
A. 18 May 2013: A wimp means you always ask for permission to do things and you seldomly take the initiative or turn down requests. A pushover would be like paying a girlfriend's rent even though she's mean to you. Wanting a good future for yourself, thinking for ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and feeling sad knowing my child's father won't be in the picture
Q. Im having to face being a single mum and only in the last week or so I have been feeling loss of love towards my baby. I know it could be hormonal but i dont like feeling this way. Especially when I felt nothing but excitement towards my baby from ...
A. 28 April 2013: It's hard being a single mum of three so I will try to tell you advantages of being a single mum. Yes there is. You won't have a man bugging you for sex. A dildo lasts forever. You get higher amount of benefits and pay lower for child care. ... (read in full...)
My head says the break up is the right thing, my heart is telling me no
Q. Basically, me and my boyfriend have just split up from a 2 year relationship, one of which has been long- distance as I am at university. I am 19 and he is 20. We're both absolutely devastated as we both still love each other and were also best f...
A. 28 April 2013: You should just keep it broken up. If you get back together things won't be the same. You are having doubts because you know that love will not be enough. A relationship is much more than loyalty and stability. When you have a guy who can match up ... (read in full...)
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