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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: You are talking about one type of woman. She's more alpha than the average. She is daring and couldn't care less about what people think about her. There are many women who follow the rules and do the right thing. There are women who love too much ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: It could be hard for her to share her day without you analyzing her every move. I know you try your best not to sound controlling but she knows of your inquisitive nature. She knows that you are asking about her life to get some reassurance that ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 10 December 2013: I look like a plain jane, an innocent small asian type and if it weren't for my son I would have taken more risks in life. You don't need to loud, rambunctions and dress like a slut to have a risk-taker personality.
I think the scary thing for you ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: If she has a higher libido than you, then you would worry if she's satisfied and if one man is enough for her. Love is insecurity. When you chain something down it becomes your possession. Love is inconsistency. When something is constant you take ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: Really, what she did in the party was nothing outrageous. I would say that her mind is clearer than yours. I didn't notice how much you wrote because you story is so interesting. Now I reread it it's kind of exhausting. Your mind is like a ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 9 December 2013: I know what you mean. I don't think you are judgmental either. I too did something that's questionable and made my dad warn me not to become a prostitute and a drug user. I did neither. There were still things I didn't tell my parents about but I ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 8 December 2013: 2) If you had known that her wild past started at age 14 you would probably reconsider dating her.
4) I am considered a loose woman. Slept with men early but I made sure my first was my boyfriend. Perhaps it's peer pressure that made her want to l... (read in full...)
I'm not in a position to do anything about this crush, and I don't want to start obsessing
Q. Over the last year or so, I became good friends with this girl I work with. We get along really well, but I don't see or talk to her often outside of work, or anything like that, though. I think I'm starting to "like" her a little more; actually...
A. 8 December 2013: Your friendship is not doing you any favour but leaving you wanting more and reminding you what you don't have. It's hard to distance from her since you work together but how about befriending other coworkers? Continue to work on getting your life ... (read in full...)
I bailed on him due to my insecurities, now he doesn't seem that interested
Q. Hi aunts and uncles! Have a bit of dilemma! I started seeing a guy at the beginning of the year, after a week i wasn't sure about him , i guess i got a little nervous and i admit i am very insecure at times due to being treated badly in the past. ...
A. 8 December 2013: It sounds like insecurity got the best of you, but as soon as you want to give him a try, you learn that he's too busy for dating or his busyness was his excuse. Either way you should keep looking and give other guys a chance. How do you know he ... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: Why don't you ask him how he likes the sex and what he likes to try? Is talking about sex that difficult?... (read in full...)
How Can I Get Her To Realize I'm The One For Her?
Q. This Girl is the most beautiful girl in the world, I really do care about her a lot actually, and I don't want no one but her, we are not officially dating but we are getting close and I am wondering if I am on the right path to pursuing this goal ...
A. 8 December 2013: You've done enough selling yourself as a nice guy. She has to want to break up and completely move on, then you can talk. You want to take it slow to make sure you are not her rebound. She can be charming and smart on the outside but love can be ... (read in full...)
Is my case of retroactive jealousy completely irrational?
Q. Hello. Ok, here it goes, I'll try to short down everything. I have relatively enough relationship experience in my past. Never had such RJ, even if it was the girl I fell for, and even if there was larger number of partners. Now it will...
A. 8 December 2013: What I believe is relationships last as long as you want them to last, as long as you feel your efforts are worth it and you can still be yourself comfortably without changing anything or forcing your beliefs out.
Orgies exist in human hist... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: Yeah, what does "not using your sexuality much and push it to the side" mean?
I think it's impractical for a guy to be thinking about you all the time when alone. I wonder about women, do they not think about others and that women are the only gend... (read in full...)
LDR: Should I just leave things the way that they are until we move to be together?
Q. I've been in this" ldr" with this guy for a year now. We came to a very clear and understandable conclusion as to how things would be from the very beginning. We try our best to try to stay out of each others personal lives to avoid jealousy fits ...
A. 8 December 2013: It's seven months until the summer and the planning should start right now, ideally months before. The move in does not magically happen by itself without talking it out. Are you saying he has whatever situation or relationship over there? If so ... (read in full...)
He said he loved me while he was drunk, then took it back after sobering up!
Q. Been seeing a guy since August. Told him a few weeks back that I loved him. He said he wasn't there yet, which is fine. Last weekend when we were both really drunk he told me he loved me numerous times. The next day once he had sobered up he said ...
A. 8 December 2013: Your definition of love might not match his. You say you love him because you felt like expressing your sentiments, but for lots of guys saying the L word means devoting his whole life to you, at your disposal. Some men just dislike saying those ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to think he shouldn't be quite this upset about my past?
Q. I've been talking to this guy who I met through a dating website for 6 weeks now. We became friends on facebook and have been texting for awhile. We've been skyping probably every other day or so for the last month because he lives in a different ...
A. 8 December 2013: Same as when women are upset that their husbands watching porn and as usual, our agony aunts would suggest that she gets over her insecurity issues but someone will always deny it's a matter of insecurity but rather porn watching is immoral or ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to think he shouldn't be quite this upset about my past?
Q. I've been talking to this guy who I met through a dating website for 6 weeks now. We became friends on facebook and have been texting for awhile. We've been skyping probably every other day or so for the last month because he lives in a different ...
A. 7 December 2013: The guy has a right to have a preference for women having a low number. We also have a right to judge that this is not about a moral issue but a guy being insecure or immature. And male anon has a right to not like what we think, and that's not ... (read in full...)
This guy seems too good to be true!
Q. Okay, First I started talking to a guy just recently through our personal emails. We happen to be on the same site so I left him a message. I didn't think he would respond, but he did. His profile was very long and he wrote a lot things about who he ...
A. 7 December 2013: There's too much going on when you haven't even met yet. You sound like a people pleaser and is eager to "improve" yourself in order to gain his approval. As an outsider I see him as a regular guy who gets lonely at times because of his career. He ... (read in full...)
We really connected and now he wants me to visit for New Year
Q. Having a little dilemma here... I meet guy at a sports training event about 2 months ago - we didn't talk but made eye contact with each other. A few days later, I saw him at the gym. We started talking - and evenually exchanged numbers. The next ...
A. 7 December 2013: Oh, so it's your turn now to travel? I would not go to Australia because the airfare is just too much. How often can you do this and can you really afford to do it and how many times? I would politely decline and thank him for such a wonderful time. ... (read in full...)
They said I make them nervous and insecure ......
Q. The last two relationships, well I say relationships, they didn't get past the dating stage, failed because of the same reasons. Both said I make them feel a bit nervous and insecure. I'm a bit worried about this now that both give me the same ...
A. 7 December 2013: They like you, and feel you are fun to date but in relationships they worry you would leave them for someone else better if you are out of their league. You can be sincere and doing all the right things and women can still feel insecure, and that's ... (read in full...)
Men aren't interested in dates these days, they just want to shag!
Q. What is wrong with guys these days?? I am a newly single woman on my 30s. I ve been married for many years since I was 21, and have a teenage son. I meet men often, I started going out, but I don't only meet guys in bars, but just randomly ...
A. 7 December 2013: I am sure it happens in Europe too. The dating culture is shifted from chivalry to instant gratification. When men spend money on dinner they may not get sex, but if they directly solicit 100 women for sex at least 3 would respond positively, ... (read in full...)
Is she just not into me any more?
Q. I met a girl this summer, she lived right in my neighborhood. Immediately, we connected and hung out a couple of times. I admit I should've been more upfront with her with the fact that I was leaving out of state for grad school but I thought things ...
A. 6 December 2013: She's not into the long term thing anymore. Instead of breaking it off she's just letting it die by itself. At the right place and at the right time your relationship could work but she is not going to hedge her bets in this unless some miracle ... (read in full...)
Did he mean he was going to ask me out on a date?
Q. I recently started working at a movie theatre a month ago and I think one of my coworkers, Michael is extremely cute. We rarely work together and when we do we always flirt with each other and ask each other questions about one another. I recently ...
A. 6 December 2013: I bet he felt like a little boy too and for a moment didn't know how to behave. The conversation you had was typical of people who would go on dates in real life. Maybe he's busy planning and working hard to not be boring to you. He could also be ... (read in full...)
"I like you a little too much, I don't wanna take advantage of you." what does he mean by that?
Q. Hello (: I have a guy best friend, both of us are 21 and we've known each other for over a year now. Just recently, we confessed that we have feelings for each other and we've decided to take this friendship to a whole new level. He ask...
A. 6 December 2013: It means that he cares about you a lot and he's afraid that if anything goes wrong you would get hurt and that would affect him too. I would be curious if he asked you out because he's interested in a relationship or he just wanted to get physical. ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship last with his friends and family hating me and blaming me for the problems we've had, when my B/f was clearly in the wrong?
Q. Is there any hope for our relationship? I had a wonderful relationship with my partner for the first 5 years, then in the fifth year I found out he'd been meeting up with an ex partner. They both swore nothing happened but they had met several ...
A. 5 December 2013: In this case, I feel when he spreads hate about you to family and friends, that's more heinous than lying about meeting his ex. You don't do that to a person you love. He couldn't help badmouthing you because he doesn't want to own up to his ... (read in full...)
Does this girl like me?
Q. Does this girl like me. We spend a lot of time together and we get along verry well. We have symillar intrests and she atends quite a few clubs i do. She even started atending a couple that i told her i did. About a week ago we went to see a movie ...
A. 5 December 2013: Being blind you don't depend on cues like we do. If you like her then just assumes she likes you and make sure you smile a lot. Smiling is contagious. Ask her if she would go watch a movie just with you alone. ... (read in full...)
Wife admitted she used to be a prostitute! Should I cut my losses and leave?
Q. My wife and I have been married now for 23 years. When we began dating I realized she was probably more worldly than I was used to going out with. However , I was starting to fall for her, and at 27 I wasn't meeting anyone that came close to her . ...
A. 4 December 2013: You may feel that her admittance was the worst thing that happened in your life, but it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise, depending on how you look at it. She did not tell you the truth to torment you, she did it because she could not be ... (read in full...)
Wife admitted she used to be a prostitute! Should I cut my losses and leave?
Q. My wife and I have been married now for 23 years. When we began dating I realized she was probably more worldly than I was used to going out with. However , I was starting to fall for her, and at 27 I wasn't meeting anyone that came close to her . ...
A. 3 December 2013: I too, can't put prostituting in the "past is past" category. It takes a certain character to do it in spite of social stigma. Being a good wife and good mother did nothing to erase that form. No one just became a prostitute without knowing why, or ... (read in full...)
Why does it bother me that he's gone?
Q. Some women are seen as strong independent women. I know that some of the people I know would say that about me but the truth is I'm not that tough underneath this facade. I can speak in public talk to strangers dance in front of hundreds of peop...
A. 3 December 2013: I am not too clear here. Are you saying you have a boyfriend and then a fling on the side? I think we all have an ego which thinks that we are omnipotent and are entitled to everyone's love. When a fling leaves you, you don't feel as powerful and ... (read in full...)
People tell me she's fake because she had a nose job
Q. So I've started dating this girl who is so beautiful, funny and one of the sweetest girls i've met she's so down to earth and adorably innocent but daring if you understand that. She told me the other day on our second date she's had a nose job, ...
A. 3 December 2013: Plastic surgery is widely accepted. She's not fake. She just enhanced her features. Girls nowadays can't escape altering their appearance. Freckles are bad, short eyelashes are dull, untrimmed brows are messy, unstyled hair looks plain. No one ... (read in full...)
I want to talk things through and she never does
Q. I have a partner that is completely conflict avoidant. She would rather have painful dental surgery I believe, than listen to me address a problem or feeling I have. I realize this is quite backwards for most couples, as the man is usually the o...
A. 3 December 2013: I am like her and my last relationship ended because of this. I tried to accommodate my partner and prepared scripts during the day to handle his conversations at night. I told him things he wanted to hear (I was actually quite good at that) but ... (read in full...)
I am struggling to accept it for myself
Q. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I am bisexual, and I'm really struggling. I've always been a big LGBTQ rights activist, done fundraisers and been to gay pride. My parents wouldn't have a problem with me being bisexual, which is not ...
A. 2 December 2013: You seem to be very clear about your sexual orientation since very young but when you come out now, people are probably going to tell you that you are not totally grown up and it's easy to be confused. As you form relationships with people your ... (read in full...)
Wife admitted she used to be a prostitute! Should I cut my losses and leave?
Q. My wife and I have been married now for 23 years. When we began dating I realized she was probably more worldly than I was used to going out with. However , I was starting to fall for her, and at 27 I wasn't meeting anyone that came close to her . ...
A. 2 December 2013: I also thought the story was odd. Four to six weeks, four to sex men, then they made her use a diaphragm and there was only one owner or one pimp and she was the only one working. The agency only had one girl? She's cooking up some story and see how ... (read in full...)
Is this what they call a FWB?
Q. I'm having this ongoing thing with this woman where we have sex, dinner, movies, coffee and I got medicine for her when she had the flu. We are both women and single. She says we are dating but also said she isn't keen on a relationship. I know ...
A. 2 December 2013: You are both playing games and with semantics, at the same time waiting for each other to launch that talk in order to convince yourselves that a relationship is the right thing to do. One of you have to take that step but is resistant to that idea ... (read in full...)
What the hell just happened in my relationship?
Q. My (now ex) broke up with me a couple days ago. She had said something hurtful to me and then all hell broke loose. FYI, I am a lesbian. I had applied to two programs of completely different nature for the spring. My first choice I didn't get int...
A. 1 December 2013: She's like the man in the relationship and you, the woman. I mean the typical man who stone walls when things get heated and the woman getting more upset from being ignored. Some people are blunt and don't think about the effects it has on the other ... (read in full...)
Could it be over before it began?
Q. I met today with the guy I asked the question about sending the Happy Thanksgiving text. I really liked him, but it seem like he didn't like me. I am very shy and I wasn’t able to maintain the conversation interesting. So, my bad! I know I screw it ...
A. 1 December 2013: I don't see shyness as a weakness. When the conversation doesn't flow, it doesn't mean you screwed up. It could be that you two can't find a common topic that excites you both. At the dinner table things can get awkward when there is silence or only ... (read in full...)
Is this what they call a FWB?
Q. I'm having this ongoing thing with this woman where we have sex, dinner, movies, coffee and I got medicine for her when she had the flu. We are both women and single. She says we are dating but also said she isn't keen on a relationship. I know ...
A. 1 December 2013: People can change their minds about status. When people's actions don't match their words, you always go back to their original statement. She wants to have a gf experience, she wants you to think that a relationship is taking place, but then if ... (read in full...)
Why Do Men Disappear for No Reason?
Q. I went out with this guys a couple of times last week. We seemed perfect for each other, had many similar qualities and understood each other. He always told me how cute I was and that I even made him nervous because I was so amazing. When we ...
A. 1 December 2013: I am going to generalize but women are more consistent with timing because men seem to need more time to recharge and disconnect then come back to you while women don't find a need to disconnect. Also on Sundays he may be sleeping in or attending ... (read in full...)
How do Atheist men date when most women are Christians or believers?
Q. Many women are believers or Christians etc. I'm not saying you can't date at all, that's absurd, all I'm trying to convey is that your dating pool is rather limited. Like at my college, most women seem to be believers. I know this because in ...
A. 1 December 2013: Believing in God is not the same thing as being Christian. I know I shouldn't read into every word but what your wrote sounds like only plain looking girls are into church and stuff, and the glamorous care more about material things on earth. I ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 1 December 2013: Feminism would tell you it's your body and you can do whatever you like, but we are still living in a patriarchal world and you have to worry about what the next nice guy thinks. There are nice guys who won't ask what you did before him but there ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him? Can we work through this or do I write off the last five years?
Q. Hey guys I really need some advice. So here goes ... I have been together with my boyfriend *dave ( not his real name) for about 5 and years and a half. We live together, we have a dog we have joint bank account I mean everything we are basically ...
A. 30 November 2013: I would write off the last five years not because he can't be forgiven, but also because things are not meant to be forgotten and sometimes people never get over misdeeds. I had done on and off relationships before. When I slept with someone else my ... (read in full...)
Why is he so angry when he wanted it to end?
Q. Hi so this is definitely the last question about this particular man that I will ask! I'm just trying to get my head round this last development to be honest. So my ex and i were seeing each other for 5 months, it was mainly lovely, we went on...
A. 30 November 2013: He is angry that you dumped him and people in the office know your story, and how he smooched off of you in the vacation. You were the man in the relationship, you took charge. I could imagine that people in the office starting gossips like he was ... (read in full...)
Its such a slap in my face that my ex would end up with this girl who had made my life miserable
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up last December but we're still friends. However, during and before our relationship started this girl who liked him tried everything in her power to break us up, she threatened me and tried to get some girl to beat me ...
A. 30 November 2013: I am sure you had told him before that you were threatened and still he goes ahead and date her. He has poor judgment and cares more about being liked than who he is with. I couldn't be friends with him anymore. Why do you need a reminder everyday ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend spends a lot of time with her gay male friend who's almost always semi-naked. Should I be concerned?
Q. My girlfriend often tells me how her male fried walks around the house purely in his underwear. I know this sounds petty but I can't help but let it bother me. I even went as far as to ask what kind of underwear...they're the tight boxer brief ...
A. 30 November 2013: I think you should be concerned. I do find a lot of gay guys attractive and a lot of them have bisexual tendencies. Even if they don't they are still flattered by the girls' attention. You see this gay guy as a threat because gay guys have what you ... (read in full...)
Diagnosed with bipolar disorder. How do I break the news to my husband?
Q. I've known I had some form of depression since high school, but it wasn't that bad, so I didn't seek treatment. I discussed it with my husband before we got married, although he comes from a background where mental illnesses are sort of brushed ...
A. 30 November 2013: Your husband lives with you and he knows what you are like. It's not like a label would enlighten him further. He can stay married to you and assure you he's not going anywhere but as far as help, the internet will be more of a help than your ... (read in full...)
Is this man attracted to his daughter and possibly her friends?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years, we got engaged but his daughter had become jealous and wanted me out of there, so we are no longer engaged. He engages in alot of pornography, and while snooping I came across lots of fantasies about ...
A. 30 November 2013: Anything is possible but without proof this is a very serious accusation. Unless you find underage porn all you could assume is that he is a perv, a porn addict and her daughter is emotionally unstable due to puberty and from the anxiety of living ... (read in full...)
Wife admitted she used to be a prostitute! Should I cut my losses and leave?
Q. My wife and I have been married now for 23 years. When we began dating I realized she was probably more worldly than I was used to going out with. However , I was starting to fall for her, and at 27 I wasn't meeting anyone that came close to her . ...
A. 30 November 2013: People tell the truth before marriage so you can decide whether to marry them. She told you 21 years later and if she's stupid enough to think that her honesty now would yield her your forgiveness I would have to guess she told you this now because ... (read in full...)
Wife admitted she used to be a prostitute! Should I cut my losses and leave?
Q. My wife and I have been married now for 23 years. When we began dating I realized she was probably more worldly than I was used to going out with. However , I was starting to fall for her, and at 27 I wasn't meeting anyone that came close to her . ...
A. 30 November 2013: Some young women become escorts because they want to afford a luxury lifestyle quick. When they are too old for that they get married. It's very rarely because they love sex enough to make money out of it. Right now the reason is probably "being ... (read in full...)
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