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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Sister in law wants sex and my wife wants me to give it to her
Q. I'm not a young man anymore. I've had a good marriage so far, at least I though we did. First, my wife and my sister in law were both victims of being raped by their father as teens, it was kept a deep family secret. I'm not sure about this ...
A. 31 August 2013: The only ones who I know did this were Hilary and Jackie Dupre, the musician sisters.
I would say that the bond between sisters can be so strong that they are willing to share when one is deprived of happiness.
After rape, a woman's percepti... (read in full...)
Troubled Relationship with Fiance full of Serious arguments, at least Weekly..Help!!
Q. We have been together for 5 years and have a 3 year old son. I have other children outside our relationship. She had a rough past, eg loosing parents etc. I have my past but when I saw her I decided to stop everything and focus on her and that is ...
A. 31 August 2013: She seems to be going through life reacting to one crisis after another, as if to cry out for a parent that was never there. For you it is the past but for her she is still reliving pain every single day. You should not treat it as arguments that ... (read in full...)
I have a HUGE crush on a co worker.
Q. I am in a great relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for many years. My girlfriend is bisexual but I cannot admit to her that I am as well. At work, I really like this guy. He makes me laugh and makes me feel good when I see ...
A. 31 August 2013: Your coworker is also bisexual, if not gay. Normally males don't hug each other at work. The rules apply for everyone, gay or not. If you have feelings for anyone else outside of the relationship the only thing you could do is cut them out of your ... (read in full...)
No matter what I do, girls still don"t like me!
Q. What am i doing wrong , girls still dont like me ? Im a junior in hs and alot of girls dont like me . Idk y though , i tried be confident, an asshole, ect. pretty much everything Nothing works !!!! And all my female friends say im real attr...
A. 31 August 2013: "Don't like me" as in rejecting your dates, not throwing themselves at you or not liking you as a person? You need more than muscles. You need to know how to talk to girls. Maybe less asshole, less concentrating on yourself and get to know a ... (read in full...)
How could she move on so quickly?
Q. My wife and I had a six week break before we got back together and got married. She was 19 at the time. During that time she was living with a family member who had a male roommate who was the same age as her father. She had a sexual relationship ...
A. 31 August 2013: For some reason her family didn't like you so they were telling lies to break up the relationship. Were you married against their will? A family member hooked her up with a guy as old as her father? Her family sounds pretty messed up.
There is more... (read in full...)
When will I finally get over the breakup?
Q. So, you have been recently dumped. You had to dump someone else. Maybe you're still in the "no contact" phase after the breakup. Months or years have passed. There is still an ache in your heart for that person. Sometimes it overtakes you ...
A. 31 August 2013: Love addiction is the silent killer. It has no form and invisible. There is no AA program or rehab. But the emotional damage is just as bad as a wrecked liver. There is indeed a broken heart syndrome. It's scary to think that our obsessive mind can ... (read in full...)
Is this just his communication style, or if he's really pulling back from me?
Q. I'm a well-educated, successful, fun-loving, adventurous, and attractive woman and have had no problem finding dates, when I want them. The problem has been finding guys who are emotionally available and ready for a relationship. The last ...
A. 31 August 2013: I don't blame him for doubting your interest. He has nothing to offer you right now. If you want to know what he is up to, he is probably looking at old photos of his dog, sitting at the computer looking for a job, sleeping in late with his hair ... (read in full...)
How do men feel about dominating women during sex?
Q. Hi Everyone, I was just wondering about submissive/dominant sexual relationships. Over the last few years I've gotten really into the idea of being completely dominated during sex; tied up, handcuffed, spanked, etc. I don't think I'm a masochist ...
A. 31 August 2013: It is not unusual. Some people have a dominant streak, some like to please. While others are able to do this just to make the other happy, and have fun at the same time. I would say personality and childhood upbringing influence what people like to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pushing me to have a baby with him, but I don't feel for him.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been with my boyfriend for a little under 3 years (I'm 25 and he's 28) and things haven't been too good of late. I say of late, probably about a year..! From the moment we met he made it clear to me that settling down and sta...
A. 29 August 2013: If a boyfriend forces me to change my contraceptive methods, I will fall out of love too. You have opposites backgrounds and maybe that's why he's attracted to you but you shouldn't have to complete change your life to suit his.
You have list... (read in full...)
My partner is still tied to his family and I am a secret. Did I do the wrong thing by giving up?
Q. I am divorced with two children and met another divorced man with three children, a couple of years after we were both divorced. My ex and I are amicable and have successful custody arrangements, although fairly traditional. My partner and his ex ...
A. 29 August 2013: You are one step better than dating a separated but not yet divorced men. He got divorced, technically to allow himself to date again without being called A hole but not available enough to devote his all. 2 years he is still trying to protect their ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants us to go travelling with his female friend for 2 weeks but I don't want to do this
Q. My boyfriend and i are 23 and live together, we've been together 4 years and have lived togther for 3 and a half years! We are happy but do argue evey now and then as couples do! We live about 30 mins away from his parents and friends so he se...
A. 28 August 2013: You have tried compromising by agreeing to just one week with Sarah and he said no. Does he understand why you don't like Sarah and how awkward it would be to spend time with someone you don't click with? It just makes me wonder a few things:
T... (read in full...)
My g/f broke things off, slept with a man and now says she doesn't know how she feels about anything
Q. I'd been with my gf for about nine months. I was the first woman she had ever been with, and she assured me that sexuality mattered none to her. That if she fell in love with a man, she would be with a man. And since she fell in love with me, she ...
A. 28 August 2013: That stinks. Some people are truly bisexual while some are fed up with the opposite sex and wants to try the same sex, for a change, but not really bisexual. I think she knows exactly what she is doing but is using this whole "confusion" thing to ... (read in full...)
Can working too much cause impotence?
Q. I was wondering, if it is possible that my husband 'simpotence,caused by his workaholism? He is totally off sex, never wants any sex, at all, he is unable to get hard, when once every few month i initiate sex. I found very confusing articles...
A. 28 August 2013: Maybe you got it reversed. He came to an age when he can't function as well as in his 20's. Working is one part of his manhood and became a substitution and compensation for one part missing. He is at home all the time so it can't be cheating. Do ... (read in full...)
What to do when girlfriend doesn't want anything intimate with me.
Q. Ill keep this as simple a possible, just a little lost. My girlfriends sex drive, passion, affection is dimming to damn near nothing. She is a few years older than me. I'm 24 she is 27. We do not live together but she does stay with me at my house...
A. 27 August 2013: It could be true that she is waiting for you to propose. It's true that men are not mind readers but rarely a woman is going to ask you to marry her. They feel that if they have to be the ones opening their mouths it is too late.
She is at your... (read in full...)
Unwanted pregnancy and being called psycho.
Q. I just need an opinion on something that's bothering me. I was with my ex for two years, we broke up in April, he finished with me because I informed him of my pregnancy. He repeatedly told me I'm a psycho.. And tonight I find myself asking "am I ...
A. 27 August 2013: He called you psycho so he could get away with his deceit and blame everything on you. He is used to calling you that with others, especially with his exes, so they think they still had a chance with him. You are beginning to doubt your sanity and ... (read in full...)
He is a good father but always turns down sex.
Q. I've been with my guy for over 5 years. Together we have two kids (2 and 4). We haven't had a regular sex life since I fell pregnant with #2 in Oct 2010. This year alone we have had sex about 4 times. I have tried to talk to him about it but he ...
A. 27 August 2013: With young kids you have to sacrifice couple time somewhat. As a young father he is doing amazing, compared to his peers. He is not particularly enjoying this stage of life but he is already trying his best. There is only so much a person can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother has been texting me really inappropriate stuff after I had a fight with my boyfriend. not sure how to proceed
Q. I have been going out with a guy for the pass 7 months we get along well and we like each other. He has been abroad working back home for the pass 3 months he will be gone for 7 months. We are in contact daily and I am going to see him in ...
A. 27 August 2013: I would just unfriend him and not tell your boyfriend. His brother is very low. He is not a friend and actually hopes that you will break up with your boyfriend, or at least cheat and give him a few hundred bucks. I would not tell your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 27 August 2013: No one knew what's in the wife's mind and how the conversation went exactly. If I was the mother I would have no problems of telling him, "no I don't mind if my son does that because I trust he will make good decisions."
My guess is she was over... (read in full...)
How can I reconcile my idea of love with reality?
Q. Hey folks, this post might be a bit long and unorganized so stick with me please. I'm 23 year old male virgin currently studying philosophy. As you can easily guess, my problem lies with women. I never really had any intimate contact with women, n...
A. 26 August 2013: Love is both a conscious act and a feeling.
Let's say an old couple dry up on all areas, passion, sex and all is left is possessions, chores and grown up children. They decide to stay because it's the right thing to do. They promised to grow old ... (read in full...)
I tried so hard to protect her but she left me because she was scared of me.
Q. My ex was diagnosed with PTSD. I did everything in my power to try to be her protector. I knew logically that I couldn't save her from all she was dealing with, but I always, always was there for her. If she called in the middle of the night, I'd ...
A. 26 August 2013: I went through something very similar nine months ago. I had made a comment to my ex about my beliefs on medications, which I suspect made him stop taking them. He probably thought that with medications he was unable to give me the life I want. His ... (read in full...)
Why is he fighting his feelings?
Q. My BF of 9 years split up with me about 4 months ago. I was very unaffectionate and had treated him badly. He got tired of it. Can't say I blame him. I mean we are talking about no intimacy for years! Yes, years. I was very unhappy with myself and ...
A. 26 August 2013: A relationship has two sides. It is rarely only one person's fault, rarely just one single issue. When you think back, even with years without intimacy, he still wanted to live with you and have a baby. So you know that it's not really about the sex ... (read in full...)
How could she move on so quickly?
Q. My wife and I had a six week break before we got back together and got married. She was 19 at the time. During that time she was living with a family member who had a male roommate who was the same age as her father. She had a sexual relationship ...
A. 25 August 2013: She didn't do anything wrong, and you are not unreasonable to be bothered. You know what I wouldn't take her back either. Not because she did something wrong, but just because I wouldn't be able to deal with it. If your relationship was so great and ... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 25 August 2013: Sorry didn't proof read.
Unless you live in a country where women are covered up and can only talk to her husband and no one else, you can't be black and white about women. This is slut, this is mother wife figure. Slut, whore, virgin mary. Wome... (read in full...)
I need to know how to stop my sexual urges.
Q. In the last few days or so, I've become more sexually aroused then normal. I find myself having to masturbate every few hours because it gets too difficult to concentrate. My body has these new urges. I had sex with my ex boyfriend this morning and ...
A. 25 August 2013: I know that I am not the only one who's affected by the "once in the blue moon" few nights ago. That only happens once in three years. I have not had sex in 9 months, haven't been craving it. Few nights ago I had a crazy vivid dream about a past ... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 25 August 2013: The bad things are no protection at all, drunk driving and getting arrested. Birth control failure is 3%. Condoms can break. So technically the only non promiscuous person is a virgin, and being a non virgin is wrong.
When you implied your wife... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid and irrational and needy?
Q. Well my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. I've dated many guys but I only really fell deeply in love with a couple of them and I did fall deeply in love with him. A long time ago I dated an emotionally abusive guy and he also cheated ...
A. 25 August 2013: You are not paranoid and he is not aloof. You have to accept that relationships will never be as much a priority for a man as for a woman. He will tell people that he is your boyfriend for long term, but his focus should be outside goals and ... (read in full...)
Her parents don't know we are married.
Q. Dear Cupid, I really don’t know where to start.. I met a beautiful lady (24) that is now my wife accidentally through social media whilst I was part of a high profile event which we both were using such public platform to talk about. Cut a lo...
A. 25 August 2013: A bi polar person worships you at the beginning then pushes you away with insecurity issues. A relationship with a bi polar person is like a roller coaster. You never get a moment of peace. There is no boredom, sure but in time it wears you down ... (read in full...)
The house will be "ours" but he is making the rules!
Q. Both in our 50's and only been married 10. months. We lived together happily for a year before but now bicker all the time. He feels that he has fitted into my lifestyle whilst at my house and we are now moving to his. I never wanted this but ...
A. 25 August 2013: Although I am always against smoking, I should say that it is unfair to him to lay down the law after you move in. Kind of like forcing you to quit smoking and taking away your choice before you made the legal decision.
Can you rule out medi... (read in full...)
What is this crazy attraction?
Q. I've got a question that's been bugging me for a while and wondering if any of you have had the same thoughts or experience or on the same wavelength. I have fancied this guy ever since I 1st saw him one year ago. But I say 'fancy him' I feel so d...
A. 25 August 2013: I thought it was pheromones before you mentioned it. It's very good that you can differentiate between sex and love. He is the kind of man that makes all the married nice guys jealous! I had this experience before. Once you cross the line and know ... (read in full...)
How can I reconcile my idea of love with reality?
Q. Hey folks, this post might be a bit long and unorganized so stick with me please. I'm 23 year old male virgin currently studying philosophy. As you can easily guess, my problem lies with women. I never really had any intimate contact with women, n...
A. 25 August 2013: Philosophers have a habit of overthinking things. With your cautious attitude I can understand why there is no progress in your dating life. To love, one needs to let go and take a leap of faith. Especially for women, men need to act fast because ... (read in full...)
Do I give this girl another chance? I don't want to waste years of precious history!
Q. Ive had a girl friend for 7 years and I am still quite in love with her. roughly 4 years ago we broke up as she wanted space and wanted to see someone else for a while Typical “Grass is greener on the other side” situation which I totally agreed o...
A. 21 August 2013: When a person wants to the relationship to work she will try to remember the good times. She has to be willing to be patient that one day both of you will have enough to get married. If she's the same age as you and she thinks like the average ... (read in full...)
He's acting like I cheated on him! I did not!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now. Recently I turned 21, my boyfriend however will not be 21 until June. On my birthday we spent the whole day together and later that night I was going to go out with friends. Since the ...
A. 21 August 2013: Not very certain how the events went. You went to the beach with two female friends, one of their boyfriend, then invited two guys to the beach. I thought your boyfriend was doing something with you during the day, then you left him to go to the ... (read in full...)
Why do some people have so much more pain than others?
Q. Wondering what are the major causes of distracted , painful lives? I feel, I have unquestionably more pain im my life than others. I now, pain cant be measured, but I know, my challenges are only happening to low number of people. Like losing a ...
A. 20 August 2013: Did you mean you lost your own child? If that's true, then I don't feel qualified to respond to this question. There is nothing more painful than losing your own child. This is something that only the experiencer can know and outsiders can't relate. ... (read in full...)
Trying to read guys and see what path I should walk down!
Q. Ok so, Am very confused about guys actions and where I think everythign is going to be in the future (and I mean this time next year not 5 years from now) And just trying to read guys and see what path I should walk down. In my life right now I have ...
A. 20 August 2013: The FWB guy would not care about your long distance relationship, that's if he doesn't have feelings for you. The long distance guy would mind if he expected to be the only guy in your life. If you choose to omit the truth from him, or not care ... (read in full...)
My ex and father of my child has disappeared across the world and does not pay any child support at all. How can I proceed?
Q. I have a 2-year-old son and my ex has not paid child support at all. He disappeared into obscurity once the baby was a year old; it makes me depressed that he just fled from his child, he was a good, decent reliable man before we got pregnant (he...
A. 19 August 2013: You have to prepare that your child will never have a father but you must expect child support from him. Does your friend know his address in Canada? Can you ask his family where he could be? Unless he is Canadian, there is no way he can stay if the ... (read in full...)
I can rarely make my girfriend orgasm, she can do it by herself but doesn't let me share in the experience and it makes me feel hurt, rejected and excluded
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I am feeling pretty low in the relationship because of an issue which has been bothering me for nearly a year. I can only make her cum at most about 1x a month and we have an active sex life. She ma...
A. 19 August 2013: For a lot of women, clitoral stimulation is a private act because we had been shamed by parents, forcing us to hide and do it when no one else notices. I understand that you want to experience a woman's orgasm, but leaving her over this when ... (read in full...)
Has porn ruined the rest of my life?
Q. Hi there, I started watching porn from a young age (11 years old) and stopped when I was thirteen and was wondering now, has porn ruined my life? I feel like it's disturbed me from a young age, I only realised when I was about 12 years old; I knew ...
A. 19 August 2013: I was very horny at age 15 and watched porn probably as much as you did. I think the only thing that could be damaging is feeling guilty afterwards. You have to train yourself to concentrate in school. Listen carefully what the teacher is saying, ... (read in full...)
Career struggle after college
Q. Hello all, This is a question on career options. But I am posting a career question here as my experience with this site has been good so far and I get the most sensible answers here. This is slightly long. So please bear with me. So I grad...
A. 18 August 2013: Of course, it happens to a lot of people. Aerospace is cutting many. When you google something like engineering degree can't find work, medical degree can't find work, you will see a lot of results. Even women with a degree practical and common like ... (read in full...)
Should I keep him in my life in any form or just cut my losses and forget about him completely?
Q. Me and a guy at work have been attracted to one another for several years now. We both came out of serious but painful relationships around the same time. Mine was a longer relationship so it took longer to get over. We both have one child e...
A. 18 August 2013: I don't think he is reliable. His reaction to strong emotions towards a woman he likes was to escape from it and to form another relationship. He wants things on his own terms, without being considerate with your feelings. I guess that makes him ... (read in full...)
My husband has roving eyes and has become quite "touchy-feely" with younger attractive women
Q. What to do to a husband that has a roving eyes, sometimes likes to ogles and lately his new thing is the European style of kissing and hugging when being introduce. At first I have no problem with it but then it's becoming a hobby but the problem ...
A. 18 August 2013: You are a good wife. Money does not measure one's power in the marriage. Being a housewife is a full time job and both partners have equal responsibility. What I would do is to get a European person to tell him that this is not the way to greet ... (read in full...)
Should I act upon my feelings that she might be interested? Or wait until I return from a trip?
Q. Hey everyone, I want to thank you all so much in advance for reading and responding. I'm having problems deciding whether to act on my intuition and would like to have some advice on how to proceed, as I have a bit of a 'deadline'. I've been havi...
A. 18 August 2013: There is no harm in expressing your feelings. Either she is interested or not and you can find out right now. While on the trip you can learn about each other in a platonic way. I do think that if you act on them now both of you will take this more ... (read in full...)
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