A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for about a month now. We just got home from an amazing trip to the mountains (4 days). Everything wss petfect. No awkwardness, fights, nothing but hugging, kissing, hand holding, and love making the whole time. But as soon as we got in the car his whole demeanor changed. He was quiet and almost aggervated or distant the whole trip home. And since we've been home he dropped me off, a quick peck on the lips and that's it. I texted him and he won't barely answer me. Whats up with that? The whole trip he kept telling me how much he liked me, how beautiful I am etc... why the sudden 180???
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 September 2013):
 I have to agree with iAmHereToHelpYou and YoyWish. Slow down, guard you heart a little. A 4 day vacation after 1 month is too much too soon.
I would back off, if he is interested he will contact/chase you.
Are you even sure he was/is single?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): Usually when a man makes a sudden change in mood, he has come to a sudden realization of something; or he has something important he must do, and it has been nagging at him.
I agree with the advice of both YOuWish and Janniepeg. They mentioned some good points. The length of the relationship is a huge factor.
You have only been together a month. He may have decided he has to end a previous relationship; or he isn't quite over it yet. The problem with we men, is we tend to bury our feelings deep in order that they won't show much on the surface. That confuses women like crazy. Ne'er a word, just silence and weird expressions.
Do not contact him. Keep your feelings on hold. This man may not have been totally transparent about himself; so I strongly suggest you hold back emotionally. At least,until he proves he has no secrets that may be a hindrance to the continuation of your relationship.
In any new relationship, you are mature enough to know that you should be prepared for surprises. You should also always be prepared for a graceful exit, or abrupt ending.
I don't think you should agonize or worry in any case. He may be feeling things are moving too quickly, and he needs time to catch up. If he is contemplating ending it, you will have a shorter recovery time. That is, if you aren't the type of woman who completely attaches; and falls deeply into an infatuation with someone she hardly knows. Be that the case, you are no stranger to the disappointment.
Leave him alone. He'll have no choice but to explain himself. If he can't, consider that a red-flag. The last thing you need in your life is a moody mystery man.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 September 2013):
 One month into a relationship is way too soon to be doing 4-day trips. Many people dating aren't even exclusive at 1 month, and many others aren't becoming sexual at one month.
His distance may be because he needs to recharge. It may be that he was using you for sex and has decided that you aren't relationship material...time will tell.
Give it a week or two before contacting him. Let the relationship breathe because 4 days in constant contact can wear out any stay.
That's all you can do. Slow things down. Let him breathe, let the relationship breathe. If after a week or two if he hasn't contacted you or is avoiding your contact (AFTER A WEEK or two, don't text him every single day for the next week!), then you have your answer.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 September 2013):
One month into a relationship is way too soon to be doing 4-day trips. Many people dating aren't even exclusive at 1 month, and many others aren't becoming sexual at one month.
His distance may be because he needs to recharge. It may be that he was using you for sex and has decided that you aren't relationship material...time will tell.
Give it a week or two before contacting him. Let the relationship breathe because 4 days in constant contact can wear out any stay.
That's all you can do. Slow things down. Let him breathe, let the relationship breathe. If after a week or two if he hasn't contacted you or is avoiding your contact (AFTER A WEEK or two, don't text him every single day for the next week!), then you have your answer.
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A
male
reader, GentleGiant  +, writes (17 September 2013):
I am curious to ask what was he like before the trip? If this man is married or bi or homosexual he may of been trying to bluff his way through. You been with men before, what did he seem like? Normal or a bit off in the horizontal mamba. Were just a little to intoxicated to see during the four days that there was something else going on? If he was acting for four days he definitely deserves a academy award for his performance. Did you have any pictures of each other taken during the trip? if you did you could cut and paste his picture on google search and find out a little more about him and I have a friend in private investigations. In a lot of cases you may wish you never new really who he was. How did you meet? Was the initial meeting normal or a bit off? All of this could have something to play in the equation. I know for a coupe hundred bucks a private investigator could tell you if he was married, gay or bi or into something totally different. I am no angel myself but I would never get really intimate with any women that i don't really know well enough, especially if she doesn't live in my community. I am not bashing you for the sex but the fact you banged your brains out for four days leads me to believe that this was more than a casual encounter or something that may of evolved from a fling or FWB relationship. Who knows but any man who goes away for a weekend and gets it on with you would not normally bring you home and drop you off at your place and then kind of high tale it out of there if he doesn't have something to hide. Get yourself checked out you don't want to of gotten HIV or any of the other deadly communicable sex diseases. And i am not trying to scare you. My girlfriend is looking over my shoulder and says this doesn't add up at all there has to be more to the story. I pray you weren't a victim of any kind. Good luck and move forward with a little more care in the future. xo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): I hate telling you this but I experienced the same few times, and also was on the opposite side of it. Many people get caught in a moment. You went on a trip with someone you only knew for 1 month. That's hardly enough to get to know a person. Of course it's absolutely fine that you guys went on a trip, but spending all this time together opens up a lot about a person. While you in this case loved every moment of it, he might pretty much liked everything also but it was just that for him, few days spent together, full of sex and pleasant moments and then he didn't see it goes any further. It makes no sense, why would he even tell you all these things about him liking you and how beatifull u are. It's not that he didn't mean it, he did, but that's about it. I was treated like that also few times, but also I was the one who felt like that toward a guy. Just to give you an example: I met someone and we hit it off right away. It was pretty intense in a beginning with us calling and texting each other all the time. Then we had a weekend trip. In a beginning everything was perfect. We had sex every few hours, we went for drinks at night, we ate wonderful food, we held each other at night. Then little things started to happen, and I am sure he didn't mean anything bad, but he said a few things that made me not want to be with him. He said something about my age (I was a few years older), that I found to be very silly. Then he said something about a certain part of my body, which probably he thought it was a compliment, but for me it was just inapropriate.Then when I offered jokingly money for gas, he suddenly agreed and actually took my 20$. There were few major things we disagreed on, that was my life philosophy. When we got in a car after we just had sex (where he was amazing), all I wanted to do is just go home. He read it in my face, went sad, and kept on a asking what he did wrong. We never saw each other again. As you can see, I was sweet with him also till we got in a car. I hope it's not the the case with you, maybe he was just tired or needed to into his "cave" who knows. Give it a little time and see if he comes out and calls you. Good luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 September 2013):
 You determine the strength of the relationship but during the vacation, but after it. There could be 100 reasons why he was distant. Some examples are, he's still hung up on his ex. He is actually married. He has money troubles. He has emotional problems: once he falls in love he feels pain. He has associated bonding with trauma. He has a medical problem and was tolerating and acting the whole trip until he doesn't have to anymore.
There has to be something that's stopping him from having a wholesome relationship. Maybe 4 days is all he is capable of. You did have a wonderful 4 days. It stinks that it's not lasting longer. Maybe you just have to treat him as a fleeting, blazing star and not as anything more substantial.
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