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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Why did my sincere love for her wind up with me in such pain?
Q. I think have posted abut my problem many times but this one is different related to my Ex American wife. I met here through internet and she came to Pakistan and we married here. She applied for spouse visa for me in the US and close to my ...
A. 10 September 2013: I forgot what you fought about, but she only got with you right after her break up from her ex boyfriend. You were a rebound and gave her confidence again. I am sorry but I could not say that you were in a relationship with her, so you can't talk ... (read in full...)
2 yr update on being married and cheated on
Q. original post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/revenge-cheatingwill-it-help-.html I would like to start by saying thanks to all those people who commented and gave positive advice to me when i had nobody to speak to about what i was feeling and ...
A. 9 September 2013: I am glad you are able to forgive your wife. It brings hope to mankind. Sometimes I wonder if forgiveness is a choice, a willingness, or an ability. Or is it all of them? I also think it is an intelligence to choose to be happy. ... (read in full...)
Is my paranoia from past hurt destroying my new relationship or is my new guy just a snake?
Q. In EVERY relationship I've ever been in I've been lied to, cheated on and had horrible mind games played on me. I've had boyfriends move in with other partners behind my back,get engaged,get other girls pregnant and move away to name but a fe...
A. 9 September 2013: I think you would make a better judgment upon hearing what his sister had gotten into. I agree that your paranoia is hurting your new relationship. You have not accused him of anything so it's not destroying your relationship, only yourself and your ... (read in full...)
If he really loved me wouldn't he talk about making changes in our lives?
Q. Dear Cupid, Looking for a man perspective. I've been in an exclusive relationship for 3 years, we are both middle-aged. We've broken up several times, because I'm frustrated in not seeing any progress and he is unwilling to talk about where rela...
A. 9 September 2013: Not every relationship ends with living together and marriage but still, I believe this conversation should be at the start of dating. Intentions are important. If a man does not want to talk about where it's headed then you can assume he does not ... (read in full...)
Virginity and losing it..how do you know when you are ready?
Q. I'm 19 and a 2nd year varsity student... I've been in a relationship with this guy for over 2 years now... He loves me and treats me like a queen. We are both virgins and we are considering having sex. I would just like some sort of guidance as 2 ...
A. 8 September 2013: If you do go on birth control pill wait another 3 months for the pill to get effective. It could cause mood swings and other bodily changes so you want to make sure the brand of pill is suitable for you. In a relationship you want to make decisions ... (read in full...)
My EX from 2 weeks ago is already ENGAGED to her PREVIOUS EX!!! Help!!!
Q. So I figured I would get an outsiders, unbiased perspective on this situation. My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We broke it off very well; maturely, trying to stay friends, and kept it very civil. We were dating for about a year...
A. 8 September 2013: I think they are two crazy people who belong together. The guy just wants to get married, any woman would do and your ex the same way too. For some people, the experience of getting a wedding and a honey moon is more important than the actual ... (read in full...)
Friendship turned sour after our forbidden secret got out.
Q. I have a load of regrets. I do a lot of things that I think'll beay.So here we go, problem one: I had/have this friend (let's call him O) who I have gotten pretty close with, and he isn't really the most trustworthy person. But I trusted him. Now if ...
A. 8 September 2013: I am not sure when you got angry, or whether you had been suppressing your anger for a long time. Were you angry because it took him 30 minutes to reply to your text? Were you both freaking out that the friendship will never be the same? Honestly ... (read in full...)
Can all this small talk lead to romance?
Q. I'm a University Student, and I'm taking English Literature as my Major. I meet with a beautiful classmate on my first day. (Let's call her Alice.) During our class, our Professor asks the class which writers have stood out from today's writers,...
A. 8 September 2013: Do you know how much guys wish they had that day? It was a lunch date and it went by so smoothly, effortlessly and she was showing she likes you. No one knows what the future holds but one day you would look back and agree that it was a fantastic ... (read in full...)
Did I break his trust by talking to a man during our break?
Q. hi, i want to ask ...that i was in relationship with a guy since 3 years. i listen to whateva he says be it whatever as im soo in love with him. he is very restrictive regarding whom to talk , where to go , what to wear etc . i initially had prob...
A. 8 September 2013: You did not feel wrong talking to that guy since you have no feelings for him. You only felt it was wrong because your boyfriend would mind. You thought that boyfriend was long gone so you felt safe talking to men. You had no intentions outside of ... (read in full...)
I like giving pleasure to my boyfriend but I don't like receiving and I think this hurts him.
Q. Me and my boyfriend used to get sexual fairly often, but we have not(and will not until the future) had sex with each other. I enjoy it, but for some reason i just haven't really wanted to lately. it has nothing to do with him, i find him very ...
A. 8 September 2013: When it comes to sex, anything that's not painful I would just give in. It's too sensitive of him to feel hurt by this though. Try your best to explain to him why cunnilingus is not enjoyable to you. He is thinking that you don't want to share your ... (read in full...)
How many times is it reasonable to try making it work?
Q. Is there ever a time to just walk away, no matter how much you want a relationship to work, no matter how much you love them? Basically, I met my on-off boyfriend nearly 8 year's ago. We dated for 3 months then we ended things as I mov...
A. 8 September 2013: If marriage and kids is what you want right now, then going back to him would be a bad idea. You and him had an on and off history, so whenever there is a bad period one of you would just bail out, thinking the other could tolerate it. I think what ... (read in full...)
Slept with my best friend's brother -- do I tell her?
Q. Okay I'll tell the story: My best friend of 12yrs invited me 2 stay with her while her parents where on a 'romantic break for 2'they wer cool with it and all. I have also known her older brother 12yrs aswell and I'd say we were friends. Anyway m...
A. 8 September 2013: Are you 100% sure that she was asleep and knew nothing?
I think it would be a bad idea to have sex with him again. You are at their house and his parents would not like it at all that you were abusing your privilege. If you can be sure that you can ... (read in full...)
Serendipity after a summer camp. Not Quite!
Q. I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number. We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much...
A. 7 September 2013: I got a feeling that you are not totally against him masturbating with your picture. You gave him the picture with the idea of helping him out. He has no right to be mad, feeling he gave you his dick pic and you didn't show him your naked pic. You ... (read in full...)
I feel I made an inappropriate comment on a date and that it might have put the guy off
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy and made an inappropriate comment. I mentioned it being lady's night and the ticket would be less expensive. He said, "you're saved" and I said, "not me, you." He began to laugh but more like a damn haha ...
A. 7 September 2013: Okay. I agree he is a cheap skate. On this site I am not considered old fashioned but when it comes to dating etiquette, I still am. ... (read in full...)
I feel I made an inappropriate comment on a date and that it might have put the guy off
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy and made an inappropriate comment. I mentioned it being lady's night and the ticket would be less expensive. He said, "you're saved" and I said, "not me, you." He began to laugh but more like a damn haha ...
A. 7 September 2013: You invited your date to a lady's night, so you were supposed to pay for yourself. Although a gentleman should have no problems paying for you. When he suggested you pay either he wasn't into the bar scene or he wasn't that into you. Maybe he didn't ... (read in full...)
Going to spend two weeks with my LDR -- what will we talk about?
Q. Hi there I have been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful woman for two years now. We've only managed to spend three individual weeks together within that time period, although each and every single one of those weeks were like magic....
A. 7 September 2013: Maybe it's not time for marriage yet so I won't go into it. After two years you know each other well and should be comfortable with silence. I am not a talker, so I would be looking for activities like travelling or movies. Like being indoors? I ... (read in full...)
His wife refused to exit the picture, I broke up with him but wonder if I did the right thing?
Q. Until recently I was in a relationship with a guy who is 11 year's older then me. He had been married before, but the relationship ended when his wife had an affair. We met when we were both out on new year's eve. (His friend knew one of my ...
A. 6 September 2013: You did the right thing.I assume they have a joint ownership of the house. She might worry about paying for the house by herself, and she is angry that now the house might be shared with you. They need to decide what to do. Is he rich enough to buy ... (read in full...)
My mate tried to harass me!
Q. Help a guy who I am very close with keeps trying it on with me! My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me recently and I am devastated:( i'm not coping well, I want him back:( and a lot has been going on and I am under stress from exams and...
A. 6 September 2013: You need to report him. I remember, ah, high school freshmen boys. They were impulsive, so much that they would risk being kicked out of school just to touch a female. Maybe they weren't thinking about consequences at all. The girls on the other ... (read in full...)
Why does he say I'm the only girl for him and then ignore my suggestions of meeting up?
Q. I find this man so confusing please please help!!!I have known him for about 7 years. We have both been away and travelled etc...but always been 'casual sex buddies'. We ahve a lot in common but I think have both enjoyed being single. He lives about ...
A. 5 September 2013: Because it feels so sweet to say those words. He's a dreamer and doesn't care about things happening in real life. I bet he felt proud that you almost took him seriously. It's like men can never be happy with serious relationships, but they can't be ... (read in full...)
Does my travelling put guys off?
Q. i feel like i am never going to settle down and find mr.right :( i am a 25 year old girl from the uk who has travelled a lot and i still love to travel, but i feel like it really puts guys off. They like to have flings with me but then for some ...
A. 5 September 2013: Travelling a lot does not mean wild and free. Maybe free spirited, but not necessarily wild. It just means that you are not available for stable relationships. When you think of them getting hurt, you are thinking too far ahead. Most guys will not ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my 9 year old daughter's extreme jealousy
Q. I have been divorced for 3 yrs. I have a 9 yr old daughter. I am trying to bring a good man into my home life as well as we have now been together 6 months and it is definitely a ltr. I have kept any dating and men away from my children until it ...
A. 5 September 2013: I feel sorry for her. She has abandonment issues and is fixated on you to be her nurturer. She had this issue even with her dad so the problem is not the divorce itself. She needs to learn to trust other people, and to see that outsiders can care, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend acts like she's black
Q. Before me, my girlfriend had only dated black guys. I'm the first white guy she has ever dated. Around me she acts like her normal self but in public (usually only around black people) she acts like she is black. It gets really annoying. Don't get ...
A. 5 September 2013: I am assuming she is white, if not latino. I think she adopted a public persona and it's hard to change. It could be because she isn't really enjoying her identity, or accepted by her own group so she tries to merge with black people. She is not ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a relationship with a man who feels down most of the time?
Q. Hi guys ; I need some advice.I have known this guy for four months.He is 31 years old. He is a really funny person, always makes me laugh, sensitive and kind caring soul.We are friends at the moment and we have met up few times, every time we me...
A. 3 September 2013: He's not clinically depressed. He's still functional in daily life, maybe not in a romantic relationship. He may be too idealistic and is crushed by reality. He feels that he can only be happy when he earns x amount of money, when he gains a certain ... (read in full...)
Not sure if I love her yet? Should I continue this relationship?
Q. i've been seeing a girl for about 10 months!! We do have a lot of fun together, we have sex and sometimes she stays over the night !! Today she sent me a mssg saying 'love you'! She seems really nice, she's beautiful,smart, cares a lot abt me, and ...
A. 3 September 2013: You will know it when you are ready for the next level. I hope that you are already dating exclusive. Some men feel that the next level, (yes at 10 months) mean not dating other people. Saying love you, in a text does not mean move it to the next ... (read in full...)
Teenager is going to study and live alone in Canada
Q. I have a daughter, she is 13 years old. We are divorced with her mother. Mother wants to send our daughter to the secondary school in Canada to study. She plans that our daughter will stay alone and study. I don t agree with this plan, as I thi...
A. 3 September 2013: I agree with you. Some kids are able to handle being alone and have a good time but not others. You should not take a risk with your daughter's life. A broken family is traumatic already. She might be too shy to voice her own opinion. Some children ... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: Reading your last follow up I see that he is all hung up on the sex issue, being insecure with his ability. He tried hard to blame it on you.
Sex is draining for both sexes. You see it as a way to connect but it is not worth it for him because he f... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: You want to feel chased again. You knew each other for 6 years, it is hard to duplicate the feelings you've once had that now you take them for granted. When you spend quality time together you enjoy each other for the moment, not because there is ... (read in full...)
Are my friends up to no good? Should I stay away from them?
Q. On a night out with some friends I met a friend of a friend at a bar, he said that I was welcome to go along with them back to his house, to make things clear lets call my friend s and the accuaintance a, we'll we got to a,s house and we had a bit ...
A. 2 September 2013: The whole thing would be clearer with correct punctuation.
a's house as supposed to a,s house. a's gf as supposed to a,s gf.
"as a his gf and s were all in the same bed together"
All three are together in the same bed.
The four people in the st... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: I think he is telling the truth that a lot of men would rather hide it with "I am tired and stressed out." His love is shown in other areas, mainly because he has to and his kids are reliant on him. You have a higher libido and want more sex, and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend spends so much time with his friends that I feel we are missing quality time together.
Q. I am in a relationship with someone for a year. He is the love of my life..we are both in our late twenties. I know we love each other very much. He puts me first in so many ways and I do the same as well. I know I want to spend my life with him and ...
A. 2 September 2013: You may be incompatible. The traits that attracted you to him bothered you later. At first you feel that he is a family man, very caring and generous, then you find out he is that way with everyone. If you marry him it's like you marry the whole ... (read in full...)
Is he a cheap skate
Q. Hi, I've been going out with a guy for 4 months, and he still hasn't taken me out to dinner. I'm not sure if he has much money, which isn't an issue, but whatever his situation, I think the least he could do is take me out. We have met for casual ...
A. 2 September 2013: He wanted to go to the wedding not for meeting your family, but for the free food. Inviting himself is just tacky. I know of people who never visit their children. I can never do that. It's only been 4 months. This should be a stage where a man ... (read in full...)
Can I get over his disgusting sexual past?
Q. If opposites attract can they live a long happy married life together? I am in my 40s, my children are grown, my first marriage lasted almost 20 years. I met a man who's also in his 40s with two grown children. He has been married two times before. ...
A. 2 September 2013: I believe you found out this information only after you married him. I would be more bothered that his friends are texting him for sex. It is clearly disrespecting you. I wonder about his taste in friends. Asking a married man for sex shows a lack ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ask him what's going on with us because I don't want to seem pushy
Q. hey i am a bit confused here i would appreciate your help...i started seeing this guy..just hooking up for lunchdates and coffee and it reached a point where he invited me to his house and we even had sex...my major concern is that i dont know what ...
A. 2 September 2013: A guy looking for a relationship makes sure you know so you won't be dating others. He calls daily but doesn't text. Maybe he is not a texter. You can just ask him in general and curiously, if he has a girlfriend, or is he looking for a ... (read in full...)
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
Q. A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
A. 1 September 2013: Right. Except that even for Disney shows, none of the characters are role models for children. Hannah Montana, I Carly, Victorious Justice are acting like brats who get whiny when life doesn't go their way.
Miley Cyrus doesn't get to pick what she ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to text a FWB every day?
Q. I am recently out of a relationship, but I would still like to find a guy to have a no strings attached kind of relationship. I have met this person I think. I think he may actually care about me which is great and makes me only not sure what is ...
A. 1 September 2013: I am sure if you text anything that makes him feel good, like a man he would welcome it. FWBs are about all the fun minus responsibility and chores. Some people have problems with reporting their lives. With texting it's hard to know how to respond ... (read in full...)
I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates
Q. I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates. Here recently he's been looking at porn just bout everyday even with me being in the same house/next room. I have very low self esteem and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and when we do have ...
A. 1 September 2013: I think it's not about you being sexy or not but about his laziness and his anxiety about performing in real life. You have to tell him that sex is important to you. It looks like he watches porn just as much as when he's single. You might as well ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 1 September 2013: Actually the nasty revenge would be to date a girl and get married within 3 months. Make sure you post on your facebook, lots of pictures kissing and say you found your soulmate. She has high morals and you are crazily in love and plan to have 5 ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: Women want to see you at least once a week. Dinner would be anywhere from $20 to $40. Movies $40. Events like concerts, 50$ to 100$ each ticket. Gas and parking $30. Gifts like roses, chocolate. $20.
As for clothes. I don't know. If I see some... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 1 September 2013: The point of the revenge really is to make the other person feel bad enough so she won't repeat the mistake again. If you want to achieve this you don't want to do the same thing she did. It cancels out the purpose. You can't treat her like a child ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: The consequence of cheating is your partner leaving the relationship. If you choose to stray, it only feels good for the moment. You lower yourself to her level and at the end you don't really get past her cheating. The difference is that she chose ... (read in full...)
Sister in law wants sex and my wife wants me to give it to her
Q. I'm not a young man anymore. I've had a good marriage so far, at least I though we did. First, my wife and my sister in law were both victims of being raped by their father as teens, it was kept a deep family secret. I'm not sure about this ...
A. 31 August 2013: The only ones who I know did this were Hilary and Jackie Dupre, the musician sisters.
I would say that the bond between sisters can be so strong that they are willing to share when one is deprived of happiness.
After rape, a woman's percepti... (read in full...)
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