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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Please help me figure it out because I don't understand his behavior!
Q. My husband flirts with EVERY pretty woman. Even on our honey moon he did invite woman to go out,and he would ask me to go with him too. He is a nice,charming,and smooth voice type.Was handsome but now his is getting fat belly,bald,but still smooth o...
A. 10 November 2013: You knew him from day one and you chose to continue in this marriage. I don't know of anyone who would take girls out on their honeymoon. I think when he said you are the best one of them, it's not really a compliment at all because he implied that ... (read in full...)
I didn't say "I love you" to her, and now she considers kicking me out of her life!
Q. My girlfriend and I recently broke up and things have been going downhill from there. She said she needed time because she was so angry but I told her I needed her and she deliberately chose not to be there for me. That hurt me deeply. She still ...
A. 10 November 2013: When a person asks for time she does not get the goodies and reassurance in a relationship. I would just leave that person alone and go no contact even when inside I need that person. You should realize you yourself is stronger than the part of you ... (read in full...)
Ignored me on 3 year anniversary. Need advice please.
Q. I really need some encouraging words right now. I'm hurting so bad. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years (today). Yes, my anniversary is today, which just adds to the pain I'm going through right now. Over the last several months w...
A. 10 November 2013: I think you are right in that your boyfriend is doing the minimum to keep you hanging and actually wants you to break up with him. His not celebrating the 3 year anniversary is to get you to break up with him. When he's asking you to do favors it is ... (read in full...)
Still haven't let go three months after the break up
Q. I guess I don't have an exact question I just need to vent and need some advice.. I can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend. I have not contacted him at all since he broke up with me 3 months ago, neither has he. I feel good that I've maintain...
A. 10 November 2013: To help you let go, men can say whatever they want when they are caught up in the moment but when they see how reality is so different from the ideal, that's when they back off. He is a dreamer and can't handle reality, so that's not the man you ... (read in full...)
Could he really be happy with his wife and act that way with another woman?
Q. I am single and met a married man recently. We spent a lot of time together talking and the chemistry was intense. We both said some extremely suggestive things we probably shouldn't have. We both wanted to go home together but he couldn't do it as ...
A. 10 November 2013: No doubt he is crossing the boundaries but yes, a man can be happy in a marriage and still fancy other women. It's just that he dares to show the truth about how men are. Don't hate men now because the world is very fair. A woman who has the perfect ... (read in full...)
Girl in need of post break up advice!!
Q. I broke up with my ex about 6 months ago. We were together for 4 years and for the entire time we were long distance. He was in Boston and I'm in California. (There's more information about us on the previous questions I've posted) long story sh...
A. 9 November 2013: You've gone far for the 6 months so contacting him again would be like taking steps back. The east coast and west coast distance also makes it impossible for a friendship to happen. I would not say you take a long time to get over him, but a ... (read in full...)
How do you tell a man with a temper that things need to change or else it's best we divorce?
Q. I love my husband, but I don't like him. We've had a rocky relationship of 5 years, married for 2.The first 2 years we fought all the time, and his temper was out of control but in the next year, we worked hard to work out the issues in our ...
A. 9 November 2013: You don't have to ask how if a man is being reasonable. I think he is narcissistic and would not change. People like that act like they are the only ones with needs, the others are just pawns to use. His comment about your vagina shows how ignorant ... (read in full...)
Is it ok if I want to know everything about my girlfriend? Before proposing?
Q. Im planning to propose to my girlfriend soon, is it ok in wanting to know everything about her and her past? she is the one i want to spend yhe rest if my life. however i suspect theres something shady she doesnt want to talk about and im afraid if ...
A. 9 November 2013: My deal breakers would be past drug addiction, wrecked credit, tons of debt, prostitution, been in a porn movie, smoking, criminal record, having secret love-children. When you said shady I think you are concerning one of the above rather than ... (read in full...)
I said a terrible thing, and now it's over. What can I do to get him back?
Q. I said a terrible thing but I think the reaction of my long time boyfriend is way too much. We live together for 7 years and have 1 child together, our daughter is 6.5. We are young professionals, love each other or so I thought, and we are overa...
A. 9 November 2013: You hurt him but, I believe it wouldn't be so bad if you were on the same page about how to handle the last day of your pet. It comes to you as a shock but I remember a similar story in which the relationship deteriorated after the dog's death. One ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with insecurity in my relationship?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I've known my boyfriend for five months now, and in the beginning I was very cautious. He knew he wanted a relationship with me from the start, but I wanted to take some time to get to know each other. I had never had a rela...
A. 7 November 2013: He did step over boundaries by staying over at the women's places. It's inappropriate when you are in a relationship. You don't need his cheating to feel bad. They can be flirting and messing around and this is already disrespectful to you. I am not ... (read in full...)
His reaction to his grandma giving me a gift a concern or not?
Q. Hi all, Wanted some help clarifying how to respond to something that hurt me slightly by my boyfriend of 2.5years. Boyfriends grandma is fairly old now, and I get on with her really well. Lovely lady. at her birthday dinner, i saw her using...
A. 7 November 2013: This is an issue between your boyfriend and his stepmom, and also him and grandma. However I see what you can do between you and his grandma. You can express to her that you don't need any gifts, you just want her time. Family connection is not ... (read in full...)
I might be pregnant by my best friend.
Q. I might be pregnant by my best friend. We had a drunken night at his Halloween party and he didn't pull out. I'm kinda excited but scared and so is he. He told me that he promises to be there with me through it all. I believe him. I'm just worried ...
A. 6 November 2013: I would have just taken the plan B (emergency contraception) from the clinic. A guy will promise he would be there for you, to sound nice. What else could he say? "Sorry you are on your own now?" I would not commit to be a mother. This is not a time ... (read in full...)
I want him to respect me and want me again, but am I pushing him away?
Q. So I've posted here twice the last week about my ex who I've been dating for 2 months. We broke up because I started pressuring him for more of a commitment. He wasn't ready. Weve been fighting for 2 weeks. He finally called me a drama queen and ...
A. 6 November 2013: When a guy breaks up with you, go no contact, then the next thing he wants is sex, you can safely assume that sex is what he's after and nothing else. You did not push him away. He didn't know you have a period if you didn't tell him. Now he could ... (read in full...)
I need help accepting separate nights out. Please help!
Q. I need help. I seriously dislike when my boyfriend goes to bars or clubs without me. It's not logical, per se. For example, tonight I went for two drinks with a friend I hadn't seen in 3 years. But that was 7pm and I'm home at 11pm. I also told him...
A. 6 November 2013: There could be more to the story. You two have different communication styles. Not everyone feels the need to report events in their lives. Feelings are not logical and it doesn't mean they are wrong. His friend is single and bad news, meaning that ... (read in full...)
Unsure if he is "The One"?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, living with him for one. 95% of the time it is perfect and he is a great guy but I go through phases where I feel maybe he's not 'the one'. I feel like he takes me for granted, rarely wants to make lov...
A. 6 November 2013: I think you got the math wrong here. How does taking you for granted, rarely wants to make love, turns you down, doesn't make you attractive get him a score of 95%? I understand that real life and a stressful job can put a damper on your sexual ... (read in full...)
Confused by this man dipping in and out of my life, saying he's not ready for a GF. I like him. What do I do?
Q. Please I need help. I am mature going to school, and working at the same time living my life like any individual do but I can't figure out what is happening to me. I met a guy about a month a go and everything was perfect in the beginning, he was c...
A. 6 November 2013: He misses you when he's lonely at night and it's better to have a real person to talk to rather than drooling over a porn picture. A person who is wounded, too busy, or hung up on his ex, still want a companion. They don't become hermits just ... (read in full...)
Advise on friends with benefits, please. I have no one to talk to about this.
Q. So if you read my previous post some months ago a guy I am very interested in gave me his number, I texted him went out a few times and within a week of going out we became physical. But now am totally heart broken because after our first time tog...
A. 6 November 2013: FWB rules are meant to be broken. If a guy is strictly physical and treats you like a blown up doll and nothing else, you would have walked away sooner. In cases the guy does develop feelings, but that doesn't mean a relationship is warranted. A guy ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a toxic person who wants to be my friend? I'm reluctant about this situation
Q. There's this girl I started hanging out with outside of work. At first I thought she was a cool person however after getting to know her, I realised she's a toxic person (being negative about everything) and has disappointed me a few times (like ta...
A. 5 November 2013: Here's what I would say to her, and look her in the eye: "You are cool a lot of the times but there are times you are so negative and calculative. At the end of the day I just want to relax and not wonder what you are up to. You know what I am ... (read in full...)
He changed his password after I questioned him about some FB friends
Q. I looked at my boyfriend's facebook. I know it's deceitful but I have been feeling a distrust. He has been friending girls that he meets at his friend's house. He hasnt been flirting but messaging those girls with "hey. wad up? How are you?" one ...
A. 5 November 2013: He is allowed to have friends, and is doing what a typical 25 year old would do. The important thing is that his friends know he is with you. That girl who commented on his eyes probably didn't know. If I know that a guy's FB status is in a ... (read in full...)
People tell me I should get to know him but something about him makes me uneasy
Q. Why do I feel strange round this older man? There is a man I have recently met (few weeks) and everyone seems to love him he is charming, a great speaker, and in his 40s but for some reason I just don't feel comfortable around him, I hate it when I ...
A. 4 November 2013: Why don't you ask if he touches your friends also? Maybe he picks you because he fancies you? Some other cultures are more open and touchy feely such as Italians. I still think there is a difference between a friendly touch and a horny one. And that ... (read in full...)
Does he like me a bit? How should I flirt with him?
Q. There's a guy at my drama group and he was flirting with me last Thursday, and I caught him looking at me the week before. He kept touching me (not in the weird way) and I felt really quite special and important. This is because I've never been in ...
A. 3 November 2013: You are wondering if . . . he meant if you are interested? Flirting isn't really about what to do, it's about enjoying each moment when you have alone time together. When you enjoy each other's company you would unknowingly send out signals. Next ... (read in full...)
He acts like he wants me to be jealous, but does he?
Q. My co-worker was a friend before starting working for same company, we don't work in the same program most of the time but on the occasions we have met up he always hugs me hello and goodbye. we had one sexual encounter. he tells me that he likes ...
A. 3 November 2013: It means he's a bisexual player and likes to get his ego stroked. You shouldn't care about what he wants because he only cares about himself. ... (read in full...)
Does this mean she wants a threesome?
Q. Hey guys and gals I am new here and just have a question about my sex life with my girlfriend I was wondering I can get your thoughts on. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years now. Shes the mother of my two kids 4 and 7 months. Been through...
A. 2 November 2013: I remember you from few months ago. This time only different in that you didn't say you've had this conversation and she said she had no interest. It's hard to say if she said "babe" to mean "hey, it's just a fantasy," or "here you go again, enough ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to a guy who isn't my boyfriend
Q. So, this is my first post and I could really do with some advice. I'm twenty years old and have been working in a busy office for about six months. I'm a very quiet and shy person and barely talked at first, I'm only just starting to feel comforta...
A. 2 November 2013: You try to remember what attracted you to your boyfriend before and see if that quality is still there. The ability to bond and be loyal is not considered an attractive quality. It is a good quality nonetheless, but there has to be something about ... (read in full...)
Both of my friends with benefits don't want to see me anymore. What now?
Q. I guess that this doesn't fall under the traditional, or conventional, relationship topics, but I lost two friends with benefits and I'm going to have a tough time getting back into the dating world. The dynamics of our relationship bas...
A. 2 November 2013: "But there' NOTHING wrong with the child who plays alone and is uber content, affable, and successful."
Exactly. There's your answer there. There's nothing wrong with being single either. Relationships are not for everyone. The ones that never have... (read in full...)
Now that I've really fallen I'm scared because so much is at stake
Q. Hey all. So I've been battling with my head a bit lately and need some opinions and advice. I've always received wonderful and helpful responses in the past, so thanks for that. Okay, so, to get to the point, I'm a 29 year old lesbian. I have ...
A. 2 November 2013: She can be special but it's still important to not put a person on a pedestal. Ironically, to feel secure in a relationship the first step is to accept the imagined break up of the relationship. It's similar to saying if you can accept death then ... (read in full...)
I still hold some resentment for what she did, one day after we broke up. How do I deal with these feelings?
Q. let me start out that i have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year now. i love her so incredibly much. However, something happened not long ago that is really getting in my head and i don't know how to deal with it. my girlfried alway...
A. 2 November 2013: I feel you can reluctantly get past what they did one day after you broke up but you can't get past the fact that she needs more than one man in her life. You would wonder if she's satisfied with just you, until she needs to find a replacement in ... (read in full...)
Nineteen. Never had a boyfriend. How will that affect my future relationships, when I do start dating?
Q. So basically I'm concerned that not having boyfriend experience will cause me to have a horrible first relationship. I'm not saying I wanted to have a boyfriend in high school simply for the sake of having one, but I just wish I had had that exp...
A. 2 November 2013: In college, it's totally fine to have a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. You date because you want companionship, you want to learn about men. It's very rarely that you get a boyfriend because you found "the one."
Your worries are caus... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to end this quickly and with no mess?
Q. I started seeing this guy back in September. We're both in the same major in my university and had a class together last year. I always got the feeling he had a crush on me and I thought he was a nice guy, so we started going on dates. The thing is, ...
A. 2 November 2013: Come on girl, you can do this. The last time I ended things I just simply said, "I don't like you." That's about the clearest you can get to get the message across. ... (read in full...)
How can I be sure our relationship won't just turn into a FWB?
Q. I wrote earlier in the week and got some great responses. So thank u.My original post was about a guy ive been seeing for 2 months. We got into a huge fight (started by me) about being more committed. I flipped out on him and he told me it was done. ...
A. 1 November 2013: It's only been 2 months so there can't be that much past. A Guy either wants a relationship or just a fling right from the start. After 2 months if he's still unsure then he's a waste of time. I assume he's the same age as you; he knows what women ... (read in full...)
Why did this gal ask me for sex on our first date?
Q. I met a woman on a dating site for serious relationships, which I am seeking. After some brief emails and a phone chat we made a dinner date. We met at a nice resturant and spent a nice hour talking about ourselves, nothing sexual. When we left, I ...
A. 1 November 2013: I don't get that horny on a first date. It's a time to get to know a person. I believe in rare occasions people can get horny but at the same time both men and women know well enough to hide it. The dating world is full of people who had just got ... (read in full...)
Both of my friends with benefits don't want to see me anymore. What now?
Q. I guess that this doesn't fall under the traditional, or conventional, relationship topics, but I lost two friends with benefits and I'm going to have a tough time getting back into the dating world. The dynamics of our relationship bas...
A. 1 November 2013: I don't think you have any problems finding women. Why does it have to be either 24/7, or sex flings?
I get the feeling that you do want women who to do it the tradition way, fall in love, expecting a full on relationship then you tell them no, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 28 October 2013: I support your choice but whatever you do at the end know that it would be fine. It doesn't look like you will dwell on it for too long, or regret it. If there are anti-abortion people walking outside the clinic. Pay them no attention and don't let ... (read in full...)
What should I do to be more masculine?
Q. So I come here often for advice, so I am here again. This is something that has bothered for me for a long time. I am gay, and I am totally okay with it. But I seem to be very effeminate. I have always thought of myself as masculine, but m...
A. 27 October 2013: I suppose you are somewhat gender dysmorphic, the body matches who you are inside but not your voice and your mannerisms. This is something new. A lot of people take hormones because they want to become the other gender, while you want to be more ... (read in full...)
Affair turned bad and now I don't know how to cope and be a good mom to my kids
Q. I had an affair with a man I met in April 2010.... He lives 3000 miles away but we talked and texted every day often for hours each day... We also met for get always several times.... We both declared the other was the love of our life and hoped one ...
A. 27 October 2013: Many people will just tell you to get divorced, will good reasons. I think what's depressing is that you feel divorce would make your life worse.There is no excuse for abuse, for sure but I understand how 4 kids can take on your toll. Now your ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have hair there? How do I tell her?
Q. I'm 26 years old and I have been with my girlfriend who is 24 for 5 months now and we are a stage of absolute relaxation around each other, she is the most amazing person I have ever been with, she is so kind, she is caring, she is funny and just ...
A. 26 October 2013: If you only found hair when in an unusual position, like 69, that means there is not a lot of hair, as in bushy. Nothing to freak out about. Maybe the 20 girls you had been with all shaved themselves. If your girl is Asian, Greek, Armenian or has ... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 26 October 2013: When they want a wife and family they will value virginity. When they want free pussy they will value an "open" one. A man can want one thing at a time and doesn't care contradicting himself and would say whatever you want to hear to give in. There ... (read in full...)
Dodged a bullet, but still can't get her out of my mind
Q. I am 21, so it feels ignorant to even be stressing this situation, but I have for an entire year now, and ALL I want to do is let go. I dated a girl that was my entire world for about 10 months, and she has a child. The child became very atta...
A. 20 October 2013: I understand why your family would be joking about this. I myself couldn't keep track of man A, man B or man C. At her rate, by the time she is old she will be able to beat Zsa Zsa Gabor's record. Definitely read this famous celeb's quotes on love. ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going mad because he's convinced I'm cheating on him!
Q. Hi my boyfriends thinks im cheating on him i would never do that ! he keeps on recording me and then he says he can hear me with men, i think he is going mad because i no i have never done anythink and he is sure i am i dont no how to make him ...
A. 20 October 2013: I would not be with a boyfriend who records me. I would not live my life under surveillance. I would just dump him, because it's too costly to hire a lawyer to sue him for invasion of privacy.... (read in full...)
I'm still getting to know him and just wonder why he's keeping me in his life if he can't give me his full attention?
Q. Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice on this one! I have posted previously about this but basically for the last two months I've been getting to know this guy. He's 23 and I'm 25. When we met, he had literally just broken up with his ex of 2 ...
A. 20 October 2013: You didn't rush into things and he tries not to, but you are still ahead of him. You wonder if he's talking to other girls, and he probably is when he stopped messaging you. He didn't want to put all eggs in one basket and having a wider selection ... (read in full...)
I always fall too fast and too hard
Q. Hi there! So, I've given this issue a lot of thought and just seem to go round in circles and I think I need some new perspective. I am an intelligent, independent girl, I've been to university, I've traveled by myself, there's just one area wh...
A. 20 October 2013: It's a common thing. There's even a song about it. Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. I think you would make an adjustment. Your heart feels love doesn't come easy, that's why you have to cling onto it when it comes by. Your mind has to train ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 28 June 2013: It's not so much about how many days out of a year he's gone to see her. The less he sees her the more he misses her. It's like your role in this is to fill in the parts that she can't give him. That's the fundamental problem. He doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 27 June 2013: You have only been with him for a few months. Feeling second best, it should not be a problem letting go of him. He is insisting on being a friend so he never loses contact in case his girlfriends can't tolerate this friendship. He has to learn it ... (read in full...)
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