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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 28 October 2013: I support your choice but whatever you do at the end know that it would be fine. It doesn't look like you will dwell on it for too long, or regret it. If there are anti-abortion people walking outside the clinic. Pay them no attention and don't let ... (read in full...)
Since we moved in together, my fiance seems to have lost all interest in sex
Q. Me and my fiancee have been together for 5 years now, and have lived together for a year and a half. Since we've been living together my fiancee seems to have lost all interest in sex. He is always saying he is too tired, or has lost his sex ...
A. 5 August 2013: At the beginning sex is steamy and you are all over each other because future is unpredictable and you want to do as much as you can before something splits you up. You also want to impress one another about your sexual ability. Now when there is no ... (read in full...)
How can I come to terms if my boyfriend wants to keep this woman as a friend? I don't trust her
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know whether I'm stupid and paranoid, a jealous monster or a sucker. I've been with my unusual and special fella for about 4 years now and while we have our ups and downs I reckon he could be the love of my life and he says he l...
A. 5 August 2013: She sounds like the woman he couldn't have. She doesn't have an agenda, probably because she is not attracted to him or he doesn't have enough money. She enjoys the attention because he fancies her. At the same time he likes the look of her, ... (read in full...)
Did I take advantage of her? Is she having second thoughts?
Q. I have known a girl for about 2 years, we went on a date ages ago and then she got a boyfriend. I really liked her as she was not only pretty but nice and came from a nice family. We went out last week after not seeing her for over a year and ...
A. 5 August 2013: You didn't take advantage. It was consensual. I believe her when she implied she is not a slut. She only regretted it that you might think of her that way. Still it wasn't tactful for her to mention her ex boyfriend. She probably thought she turned ... (read in full...)
I'm still a virgin and I don't know how to tell this guy
Q. I'm about to get into a relationship with a guy i have liked for about 8-9 months. We've known each other for a few years but only started talking properly last year. Things started getting more serious and we both admitted to liking one another in ...
A. 5 August 2013: I don't see being a virgin as an embarrassment. There is nothing unusual about an 18 year old being a virgin. The only thing he needs to know is that he has to be gentle. He might not know why all the stress about this issue, or how to respond to ... (read in full...)
What can I do to let him see to just let it go when she doesn't want him
Q. Well, i met a man in 2011 that had been seperated from his wife for two years. They remained friends and she was involved with soneone else. He asked her about divorce 8 months into the relationship and she said no, left her boyfriend, harrased me ...
A. 5 August 2013: I think the only way is to not see him again until he has the divorce certificate to show you. Otherwise your continued meetings will show him that he is able to have his cake and eat it too. Don't talk to his boss again. You feel that he wronged ... (read in full...)
My married lover's wife knows about us but he still wants to be in contact with me. Why doesn't she just stop him?
Q. I don't know where to begin, I am asking for an opinion, maybe some advice, no cursing or calling me names please. I am already in a lot of pain as it is. I was having a relationship for 6 yrs with a married man. We spoke everyday, saw each other 2 ...
A. 5 August 2013: I think he implied that he is never going to end the marriage for you, but he wished that you remained in his life as a side item. If his marriage ended for different reasons (I can't think of any), or his wife died, then maybe he will have a life ... (read in full...)
Would you confront your man if you found out...
Q. I've been married to my husband for 13 years. We started out with a great sex life. Things mellowed out to a completed halt after dealing with infertility issues. I do love him however, we have had major fights regarding porn. I don't like it and ...
A. 4 August 2013: I am only against porn if it affects your sexual relationship or it becomes a private sanctuary to hide from problems in marriage. Porn with white men and black girls are considered rare, so it's not like he picks white girls to look at. There are ... (read in full...)
Do women like man who is in demand and valued by other women ?
Q. My girlfriend would tell me that I'm too much into her, like spending time with her, calling , texting and sending her gifts . So she said that I should socialize with other people as well so that I couldn't not be hanging on her head 24/7. Thought ...
A. 4 August 2013: Basically she is saying your relationship fell into a rut and became boring.
I don't think you were flirting with girls online, or being spiteful. I don't think you are playing dumb but you are clueless and not trying to read in between lines. You ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to move in with him but he can't see a marriage or family for another 10 years!
Q. Hi everyone, ok so my problem is probably quite common but I still have no idea what to do so I would really appreciate your advice. Basically, I'm 28 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He recently asked me to move in with him...
A. 4 August 2013: He wanted marriage and children because it proves him to be a manly man, being able to produce and having a woman to love him, but he didn't want the responsibility and lack of freedom associated with marriage and family. Here's a prime example of ... (read in full...)
Do you think she might be into a threesome?
Q. Hey guys and gals. I need some advice. I am living the good life with my gf who is 24 and im 29 for about 6 years now. Everything is just peachy. For a while now I have been having fantasies of having a threesome with either a dude or chick ...
A. 16 July 2013: Did the dirty talk involve a third person? If not, then you are doing some magical thinking here. Even when people say out loud "I want to do so and so" does not necessarily mean in real life they want to do it.
She needs to be at least bi to enjo... (read in full...)
Where can I find a younger woman, evolved intellectually, who isn't interested in procreating?
Q. I'm in my mid fifties, look 10 years younger, am mistaken for being in my thirties on occasion. I find younger women attractive, but I'm afraid to respond to their overtures for fear of rejection when they find out that I'm much older than they ...
A. 16 July 2013: I think you will find something on the sugar daddy websites. You can help support a student who just wants to get through school and be loved at the same time. ... (read in full...)
Does my mother have Asperger's Syndrome?
Q. My mother has always mystified me. She is very uncomfortable showing her emotions, to the point where she has never said "I love you" to me, and my father sometimes forces her to say it to him. As I got older, I learned that she was different from ...
A. 16 July 2013: There are no two aspies that are alike. You can have one who wants friends while the other is shut in. Your mother has no narrow interests so one criteria didn't meet. She definitely has something though. I see some traits of attention deficit.
Y... (read in full...)
She tells me I'm a wonderful boyfriend but she freaked when she found soft-core on my phone
Q. My girlfriend ran into a porn website that I visited on my phone, and quickly got very angry and started mentioning that now she should go look for guys her age and fantasize about them having sex with her. I kept my mouth shut to keep the situation ...
A. 16 July 2013: You are being too apologetic for this. I see the need for visual stimulation (I depend on it) and I also respect other people don't see that need. What you should do is figure out how to live your life without others telling you what to do. If you ... (read in full...)
Insecure and falling back to old patterns. Am I dreaming my life away?
Q. Before I turned twenty five I thought i had everything I was with my first boyfriend whom i lost my vriginity to and after five years of mind games and what i know abuse to be now(sometimes spiting at me, and telling me i have a fat belly,, or who ...
A. 7 July 2013: What you posted here describes lives of a lot of graduated twenty somethings. Your ex professor sounded brilliant. He was paid to do so. Universities are big money making machines selling dreams. That explains the disenfranchised feeling you have ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my best friend to be my first kiss? How can I do this without sounding odd?
Q. I don't know how to go about this so I'll just ask it straight forward; how can I ask my best friend to be my first kiss without it being weird? Here is some background to help you answer, we are both bi and now out and accept each others sexualli...
A. 6 July 2013: Given your background, I would tell him I am curious about what a kiss feels like, no pressure or anything. Some people give a lot of importance to the first kiss, like it has to be in a proper relationship while others don't care because most first ... (read in full...)
How should I act around my ex who just finished our relationship?
Q. We were together for a year and a month, a few days before our anniversary (a month ago) he told me he was planning on ending it, he came to mine we both cried he said he hated the arguing and I promised it would stop, he said I'll give it 2 months ...
A. 6 July 2013: The only way to move on is to unfriend him. What you loved about him was an illusion. He is saying anything that's convenient to him and is lying to spare your feelings. You can't trust him and since you are still pining for him, a friendship will ... (read in full...)
Do women expect the man to chase, to be sure he is interested?
Q. Is it the male that should do the chasing? e.g. cheeky message if they haven't messaged back, always giving them compliments,and taking the lead basically? The way I have read things is, girls will always have lads after them so they have choice...
A. 6 July 2013: There is still a middle between being obsessive and acting cool, pretending to be busy. Obsessive means the girl calls too often and gets upset if you don't. Feels that a relationship has happened way before you even consider. A girl can be ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I slept with his father for sex?
Q. This may sound like something off Jerry Springer, but I've been in a sexual relationship with a guy on and off for 3 years. He's very attractive, a lean, skinny, tall, hippie, mixed with Captain Morgan , James Franco looking pot head with Mick ...
A. 6 July 2013: You don't even call him a boyfriend and even when you get back together it's just sex and pot. What's your confession going to do except humiliate you, make him not want to touch you? If you want a firm break up, just simply cut contact. There is no ... (read in full...)
I was excited about the holidays, until my boyfriend got mad at me on the phone last night.
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years and I have just had a fight before I'm due to go away for over 2 weeks on the holiday of a lifetime. He had asked me to come round to visit him tonight before I go, and I told him I'd try my best but I'd need to see what...
A. 4 July 2013: My family travels more often than the average person and I know that expecting you to go over there after 10 pm is unreasonable. As far as he concerns, he is the only one with needs, and you are wrong for having female friends. Makes me think he was ... (read in full...)
He seems devoted to me but I'm insecure about his ex
Q. My boyfriend is loving, respectful and we get along very well with excellent physical attraction. We have been together about ten months. he talks about our future and marriage and babies. We've had a few issues, mostly my insecurities regarding an ...
A. 4 July 2013: What do you mean when you wrote he lost his son? He lost custody or his ex wouldn't let him see the child, especially if he dates a new girl? Has he applied for custody, paid child support? Before he claims his rights to fatherhood, his mind is too ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go it alone. How do I get my confidence back?
Q. i'll try and keep this as short as possible but here goes... a few years back i stole a married man, yes it was wrong but it happened and we got together and made a go of it. however since we moved in together and most of the time things were ...
A. 4 July 2013: Is he married or separated? The ex is his still married wife? Not making decisions for yourself is a dangerous thing. His actions show you that if any time his "ex" wants him back he will go back to her and forget about you. What good does he do in ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a relationship after a one night stand?
Q. I'm wondering if it's possible to have a relationship after a one-night stand. Basically, I got with a guy over a month ago in a nightclub and we exchanged numbers then we were texting pretty much every other day and he wanted to meet up and ...
A. 4 July 2013: That is determined by his attitude towards relationships, his availability to you and your compatibility together. It goes both ways. It's great if he's trying to get to know you at the same time. You are also figuring out if he would a good ... (read in full...)
I can't say no to sex and being labelled by my friends. Please help me, I keep getting hurt over and over!
Q. I have a lot of guy problems, so ill explain where it all came from. Im 17 years old. I lost my virginity at 14. To a 19 year old, it was forced and I was Hammered. I had never even made out with a guy before him. Then i waited nearly a year be...
A. 1 July 2013: Not everyone is comfortable talking with parents. Not all parents know how to relate and handle their children with emotional issues. There are counselors in school for free, or a rape crisis center. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened. You ... (read in full...)
I messed up my relationship by going back to the past. How can I fix this? Help!
Q. hello! I am 23 years old woman and I come from a traditional family background. Four years back i was dating a guy who was sweet and really loved me lots ,well I too started to like him and we dated for two and half years.I was totally committed to ...
A. 1 July 2013: You own up to it, admitting that you should not have contacted your ex boyfriend. What you miss, probably is a calm relationship without fights, and not necessarily the person who was boring for you. You tell your boyfriend you have concerns about ... (read in full...)
I can't say no to sex and being labelled by my friends. Please help me, I keep getting hurt over and over!
Q. I have a lot of guy problems, so ill explain where it all came from. Im 17 years old. I lost my virginity at 14. To a 19 year old, it was forced and I was Hammered. I had never even made out with a guy before him. Then i waited nearly a year be...
A. 1 July 2013: It does sound like rape for me too. That guy took away something precious from you, your power to consent to an intimate relationship and you attempt to get it back by trying one guy after another. Somehow saying yes feels more powerful than to have ... (read in full...)
I want to get liposuction but have no idea where to start. Any ideas?
Q. I'm considering liposuction but I don't know where to begin. I'm 5'5 and pear shaped. I'm very slender on top but quite large on the bottom. I want to get liposuction to remove the extra fat on my thighs/bottom for a nicer proportion. Dieting only ...
A. 1 July 2013: It's not that complicated. You find a reputable surgeon and explain what you want in the consultation. You schedule an appointment and have the surgery. Recovery time would be a month or two. Your thighs will be swollen at first but then your newer, ... (read in full...)
I think I am interested in women, how do I tell my boyfriend I want a break?
Q. I think I like women. I masturbate to them. I find them attractive. I feel like I understand them better. How do I tell my boyfriend that in the nicest way possible?...
A. 29 June 2013: Having bisexual fantasies does not have to be a deal breaker in a relationship. Women will always understand women better. Women and men are put together so they will attempt to learn about one another. If you enjoy sex with your boyfriend maybe you ... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy for making my girlfriend breakdown?
Q. For more info on this, please read (or skim) this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-believe-my-girlfriend-is-lying-about-an.html. This problem of mine goes back almost a year. I haven't been able to shake this feeling of mine that the...
A. 29 June 2013: "Like the one that didn't happen?"
That could mean they were trying to forget that massage section. It's only between him and her, for all others, that massage night didn't happen.
Also, she admitted massaging him twice, she didn't remember... (read in full...)
Why is this man making me mental? After my miscarriage, now his new girlfriend, I feel awful!
Q. I had been starting to feel so much better about this, but today was hit with a ton of bricks and I'm not even sure why it bothers me. I started "seeing" a guy I had met on vacation to a new school I was going to the next year. "Seeing" is in q...
A. 29 June 2013: It may be hard to forget him but one thing you must do is stop comparing you and the other woman. He is with her because she pays for her college and housing. She is misusing her sexuality to get ahead in life and squandering money on people who are ... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy for making my girlfriend breakdown?
Q. For more info on this, please read (or skim) this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-believe-my-girlfriend-is-lying-about-an.html. This problem of mine goes back almost a year. I haven't been able to shake this feeling of mine that the...
A. 28 June 2013: It's hard to read this. So much pain. Technically she doesn't owe you any truth. I do understand why you want to find out the truth. I also believe that they had sex and the reason why she denied it was because she didn't want to lose you. Darrell I ... (read in full...)
Would it be better if I broke things off and concentrate on myself?
Q. I'm constantly paranoid about my new relationship and don't know if I should stay in it. Last December I broke up with a guy I'd been with for four years. He left me, to be precise. At first he said he didn't love me any more but later I found ou...
A. 28 June 2013: I think you should concentrate on yourself. It's like you crave love and fear love at the same time. No guy likes to know that he is hurting you emotionally and triggering your fears. He had been very patient and he is afraid that he has to wait ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 28 June 2013: It's not so much about how many days out of a year he's gone to see her. The less he sees her the more he misses her. It's like your role in this is to fill in the parts that she can't give him. That's the fundamental problem. He doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
Fat Issues and lots of Tissues: Question is, why would I stay in a relationship where I have to change to suit his ideals?
Q. Fat issues and tissues So my SO keeps calling me a fatso. Mmm that's abusive. I need to loose, for myself, 20 lbs Also in menopause and also 52 years old. But I'm very active, trying now to boost my metabolism I have put my relationship...
A. 28 June 2013: I thought you weighed much more. I weigh 10 pounds more than you and no one has ever called me fatso. You have no reason to stay in this relationship. Other men will find you perfect just the way you are. This is ridiculous, maybe he has insecurity ... (read in full...)
How do I emotionally cope with the aftermath of a C-section?
Q. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and just went for my weekly doctor's appointment. I found out a few things: my baby is already nearly 8lbs and breech and I'm 1cm dilated. I had hopes the entire time of having a natural birth, but the doctors aren't ...
A. 28 June 2013: I cried when I learned I needed an emergency C section. The only difference is that it was done right away, without weeks to prepare for it. Recovery was quick. The wound closed up within two days. I would suggest resting and hypnotherapy. Bond with ... (read in full...)
Threesome with her ex. Mature answers please!
Q. This isn't so much a question, but more of me asking for advice. So basically I know people are going to think I am weird, but here it goes. I have a fantasy of watching my girlfriend give oral to another guy. I have been with her for 2 years and ...
A. 28 June 2013: So Very Confused is now sticking to one guy only. She would have dinners with her exes, but sex, no. ... (read in full...)
Threesome with her ex. Mature answers please!
Q. This isn't so much a question, but more of me asking for advice. So basically I know people are going to think I am weird, but here it goes. I have a fantasy of watching my girlfriend give oral to another guy. I have been with her for 2 years and ...
A. 28 June 2013: I am actually thinking she might be certain that an ex is enough of a deterrent to stop this fantasy, and this conversation. You are basically asking her to suck a guy she doesn't like, because there is no other choice. How is that even kinky? Ask ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go? My husband has no clue how to love.
Q. Should I stay or should I go? Married 11yrs, together for 21. we've always been off and on. Only stayed cause I thought it was the right thing to do. He is a good man, we have 3 children 7,9,11. But he's never been "with" me, "for" me. we've never ...
A. 27 June 2013: Only divorce him if you feel even single life is better than being with him. He only cries to move back because he knows how it feels to be abandoned as a kid, not necessarily because of his love for you. He is also concerned about his children ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't let go of former lover
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months and are in our late 30's; somewhat older and wiser, you could say. Unfortunately with age comes more baggage. From the beginning there was a "red flag": his very close friendship with another ...
A. 27 June 2013: You have only been with him for a few months. Feeling second best, it should not be a problem letting go of him. He is insisting on being a friend so he never loses contact in case his girlfriends can't tolerate this friendship. He has to learn it ... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 27 June 2013: This is not a time to project your needs onto him, just because you had felt suicidal before. Douchebags always use depression or whatever disorder/addiction to get away with bad behavior, or to gain sympathy from you. If he doesn't get you back, at ... (read in full...)
Single, pregnant, and moving out from my parents. Where do I start?
Q. hello everyone, well i am 7 months pregnant and single and soon im going to start my maternity leave as i work full time and i get abut 8.90 an hour. i currently live at home however i would like to get my own place as we don't have enough spac...
A. 26 June 2013: If the only thing wrong is the lack of space, then stay at home. My brother has two kids and they live in a shoe box. He makes good money too but to move would be too expensive. I think warmth and security are more important than privacy at this ... (read in full...)
No longer sexually attracted to my husband! Should I leave him?
Q. I'm 24, and married to a 25 year old. When I first met him, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and same with him to me. We dated for a year, then got married when I was 21 and he was 22. He still feels just as attracted to me as when we met, eve...
A. 26 June 2013: When you say you leave him, it's because it frees you up to have sex with guys you lust for. But to tell you, earn more money, be independent and get a house, or to find a sexy guy to marry within a few years seem too good to be true. Before you ... (read in full...)
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