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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I always fall too fast and too hard
Q. Hi there! So, I've given this issue a lot of thought and just seem to go round in circles and I think I need some new perspective. I am an intelligent, independent girl, I've been to university, I've traveled by myself, there's just one area wh...
A. 20 October 2013: It's a common thing. There's even a song about it. Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. I think you would make an adjustment. Your heart feels love doesn't come easy, that's why you have to cling onto it when it comes by. Your mind has to train ... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 20 October 2013: This is a very bad explanation/excuse because he needs the other woman to be aware of this so she doesn't get the wrong idea. Even if it's true I think it's stupid for a woman friend to help a man trap his girlfriend. It's unlikely too because she ... (read in full...)
My son is asking questions about his absent father, what should I do?
Q. My son, who is 5 years old, has started asking about his dad, and wants to see him. Thing is when the relationship ended, it ended really really badly. He hasn't seen his son for a long time, when he left he made the decision to walk out on me A...
A. 20 October 2013: You should leave things as they are. Children like the idea of having a dad, have curiosities, but in real life I have seen them acting scared when they see dads pop up in their lives because they feel like strangers. It's very confusing to them. If ... (read in full...)
Why did he meet me then if he was going to break up by text?
Q. I met a guy three weeks ago. he came to my table and asked for my number. he decided to give me his number and after that I texted him and started talking. after that we liked echother verymuch and started talking as much as we can. he was leaving ...
A. 20 October 2013: You only met twice and had a date during the 3 weeks. It was too soon to be talking about the future and changes in habit. The first date was to introduce yourselves to see if you fit with each other. He decided he would not quit smoking and there ... (read in full...)
Why would he have a condom?
Q. So my boyfriend of 11 months and I live together friday he had to go a thing for work for health insurance or something him and his cobworker car pooled together she's a girl but she's from Africa . Any way he had to go to another city which is ...
A. 20 October 2013: Condoms are one of the things that's useful in unexpected times but when you don't, they are eye sores that you have to get rid of. Your boyfriend showed it to you, because he didn't want you to find it yourself then think he's cheating. When my mom ... (read in full...)
Keep getting hurt in relationships. Are relationships really worth all the hurt?
Q. Do you think some people are better off not in relationships and instead dedicating their life to other things? The reason that I ask this question is because of men. I am beginning to think that my life may be better if I don't have relationshi...
A. 19 October 2013: Don't feel bad about not conforming to what society expects. It's like you are trying to see if there are people who feel there is something wrong with society, so you don't have to feel pressured to act "normal." The answer is yes, you are not ... (read in full...)
Our connection was so amazing that I can't get her out of my mind
Q. Don't really know how to start this? I'm almost 34. I've had a few relationships. Some good, some not so good. Then awhile back I met this girl. We come from different worlds. She's had a really good upbringing. I haven't. Not that ...
A. 19 October 2013: Life gives you chances. I don't know what happened in the relationship but I am guessing you felt insecure about losing her and that tension caused stress in her life. Your stress became her stress. I really think it's a case of opposite attracts ... (read in full...)
What's a girl to do? No job with a boyfriend and his two kids.
Q. I have been in a 2 year relationship. Three months after becoming an official couple my bf found out his ex was 7 months pregnant 7 months since they had broken up. He was pretty sure it was not his child and he says his ex had not spoken to him ...
A. 19 October 2013: Wow you have lots to say. In the meantime between job hunting you can do babysitting, dog walking, tutoring while he could do odd jobs. Teaching ESL through Skype is popular too. International people pay $15 an hour just to talk to a regular person ... (read in full...)
Keep getting hurt in relationships. Are relationships really worth all the hurt?
Q. Do you think some people are better off not in relationships and instead dedicating their life to other things? The reason that I ask this question is because of men. I am beginning to think that my life may be better if I don't have relationshi...
A. 19 October 2013: I don't understand why you never liked men, even before you started relationships with them. My belief is that you have to like men first, then you can have good relationships. I have bad memories with men, but I still believe there are good men who ... (read in full...)
Our connection was so amazing that I can't get her out of my mind
Q. Don't really know how to start this? I'm almost 34. I've had a few relationships. Some good, some not so good. Then awhile back I met this girl. We come from different worlds. She's had a really good upbringing. I haven't. Not that ...
A. 19 October 2013: I don't think people argue because there's too much passion. How does that make sense? People argue because they don't get along. You might be valuing passion over practical things such as compatibility. It seems that you didn't understand how the ... (read in full...)
My husband just left me for a younger woman
Q. i am feeling like a total fool. i was informed last night that my husband of 23 years wants a divorce, he has a baby by a girl that is 24 years old and she is expecting another one by him again... yes you read this right the baby she just had is 4 ...
A. 19 October 2013: He won't be able to leave you with nothing. You built a life with him and supported him throughout the years. You are entitled to alimony. You just need a good lawyer.
He was a jerk for doing this after 23 years of marriage. He could have chos... (read in full...)
My mother, my bully.
Q. How do i gently approach my mother about her hypocrisy and the damage it has done and continues to do to our relationship? How do I explain that I cannot, allow either myself or my son (8yo), to endure her presence if she continues discount...
A. 19 October 2013: It's impractical to change your mother's ways. A 70 year old woman is stubborn and set in her ways. She thinks she lives that long to have that wisdom and who are you to lecture her? You show her you don't like how she is by limiting contact with ... (read in full...)
Why does it have to be complicated when we had a great time on our date?
Q. Okay so I went on a date with this guy I met him at a coffee shop and he looked really good. We had a nice time talking and laughing. Before we had met he came on really strong when we were texting each other. He would text me telling me how b...
A. 19 October 2013: He's a creep, controlling one too and prefers a virtual relationship over a real, day to day relationship. He sounds like he has deep insecurity and trust issues and all he can handle right now is some online fantasy or wank material. It is no great ... (read in full...)
Keep getting hurt in relationships. Are relationships really worth all the hurt?
Q. Do you think some people are better off not in relationships and instead dedicating their life to other things? The reason that I ask this question is because of men. I am beginning to think that my life may be better if I don't have relationshi...
A. 19 October 2013: You are going to get answers such as, no, my man is decent and has been with me for 10 years. We have good communication and we still find a spark. Maybe you are looking for wrong people at the wrong place.
However if you are looking for peop... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? My boyfriend wants to add his boss' girlfriend on facebook.
Q. I need some advice so I don't turn this into an argument between my bf and I. We've been together for 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. We don't live together but do spend weekends together and any days during the week if we can find time ...
A. 19 October 2013: I think before you talk to him about it think about what he could do, or say to make you feel better. He already told you he loves you, won't add her so there is not much he can do. If you feel better just to vent and have him listen, just let him ... (read in full...)
Very devastated that my boyfriend looked at gay porn.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we live together. I love him and trust him. Though, I noticed our computer has been running slow. I did an antivirus run and I found a virus on the computer. I wondered where it came from. So, I ...
A. 19 October 2013: If he's only looking at gay porn and no straight porn, then I would question his sexuality. Either that or he feels guilty looking at women having sex because he's not supposed to when he is with you and thinks that gay porn is less bad. To me it ... (read in full...)
Her pride might get in the way of our dream vacation
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years, now. Our dream, as a couple is to go to Las Vegas but living in Brazil makes the trip harder, mostly because of the high price of flying there. Earlier this year, I took part in a Work and Tra...
A. 19 October 2013: I am not sure what she said to you. Like did she say she is not going to the vacation until she has her own money? Is she going to get a job soon?
I think more likely than not you two would be going on the trip in December. She just doesn't want... (read in full...)
My son is asking questions about his absent father, what should I do?
Q. My son, who is 5 years old, has started asking about his dad, and wants to see him. Thing is when the relationship ended, it ended really really badly. He hasn't seen his son for a long time, when he left he made the decision to walk out on me A...
A. 18 October 2013: My son is now 8 and has never seen his father since 3 years old. What I told him was that not all the mothers and fathers live together, and he's somewhere doing his own business. He didn't push for more answers and accepted that's the life he will ... (read in full...)
At first all was well in our marriage, but now I'm a lonely, lost lady as I have to be and do what he thinks is the best for the marriage!
Q. Dear aunty. I'm a young lady who is in late 20's and I got married at the age of 20 as a second wife to my husband who is 13 years older than me. At the beggining all was well but now I fell ...
A. 18 October 2013: A second wife means he divorced and remarried, or is this polygamy? Strange because Christians don't do polygamy and it's not legal in your country. If he divorced before why can't you?
You have to be and do what he thinks is best, does that mean... (read in full...)
I think I hold a grudge against love?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I have a very pondering thought, it's just that: I wonder what good can come out of love, I mean to tell you the truth I kind of hold a grudge against it, I mean every person I've seen around me always fall out of it quickly or do...
A. 14 October 2013: What you call true love is really tradition and family pressures to stay married. I can't speak for all, but in my life I feel that the "love each other till us part" kind of love has been heavily sold on us and when people fall short of the ideal ... (read in full...)
I've had dreams about my teacher crush and I'm confused now!
Q. I have a crush on a teacher at my school, he's 25, friendly and good looking. Now, i have liked him since last year, and he coached my soccer team this year. Don't worry, I won't try anything and I've learnt that any 'special' attention he gives me ...
A. 14 October 2013: Love in dreams and in real life is different. In dreams there are no boundaries and taboos and in real life it's full of rules and structure. You haven't seen your object of your love for two weeks and your mind had been used to it. Your ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to check out porn and naked celebrities?
Q. Hi everyone, Recently for some reason I have become a little insecure :( I am an attractive young woman...slim so little reason to you could say but like alot of women seem to be uncomfortable with my fiance looking at stuff on the internet. It...
A. 13 October 2013: From a male's point of view, it's rather why not look at them? Your boyfriend could have this habit before meeting you, and that is not a good enough to stop looking at them. Although some men look at porn because their partners are rejecting them ... (read in full...)
I feel like there's competition and I'll never be good enough for my boyfriend.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a mutual friend who is really slim, pretty and fun. I've known her all my life and my boyfriend met her through high school. Last week I was in an awful mood and all I wanted was for him to come and see me so I text him...
A. 13 October 2013: I question these guys' value because they look at women as meat to be shared, passed along and enjoyed. You shouldn't feel lesser than the thin girl. Maybe his friend wants you the way your boyfriend wants the other girl. It has nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to whether or not he likes me as more than a friend?
Q. So confused. A co-worker who transferred from one of our global and I have become very good friends over the past year. His wife was supposed to transfer as well to the us but they ultimately separated and are in the process of divorcing. A mo...
A. 13 October 2013: He can like you more than a friend but still not want to plunge into another relationship. I think you should pull away until you know that both of you want the same things, otherwise it would give him the message that he can take from you without ... (read in full...)
What's with him?Does he hate me?
Q. I met him in a summer camp but we go to the same school.He's the type who usually flirts with a lot of girls(even physically touching) so it's hard to know when he really likes you or is just friendly.Despite this everyone in the camp thought he ...
A. 13 October 2013: He likes to take it slow and probably doesn't like being teased by your school mates. It puts him on the spot and makes him embarrassed. He could have feelings for you but he felt the pressure and almost forced into dating you just because the ... (read in full...)
Things seem weird and off with my boyfriend. Am I over thinking things?
Q. My boyfriend's been really weird and off with me for the past week. I see him every weekend and sometimes a few days during the week when we have time. We usually text everyday for most of the day, (though we're not one of those lovey dovey couples) ...
A. 13 October 2013: If you ask any guy to prove himself to you, not just to agree to be in a relationship, but his whole life he has to be interesting, engaging, and romantic, I think that is too much pressure and no one would be able to keep it up. Women would not say ... (read in full...)
I want THAT commitment!
Q. I have been with my BF for almost 4 years. It was a bit of a whirl wind to star with.he was my first BF my first everything. We fell in love very quickly and I moved into his parents Home, that was another other side of the country after only 8 ...
A. 12 October 2013: Some men may feel pointless to spend a fortune on a wedding when half of marriages fail. At the same time they want to show the world they can afford grand things, and to show off the world what great women they have. It's a social and personal ... (read in full...)
I want THAT commitment!
Q. I have been with my BF for almost 4 years. It was a bit of a whirl wind to star with.he was my first BF my first everything. We fell in love very quickly and I moved into his parents Home, that was another other side of the country after only 8 ...
A. 12 October 2013: That's a tough one. I agree that a low cost ring and wedding can take some of the pressure out but I can compare that to a salesperson making better deals before a customer backs out of the offer. All in all men see it as a way to be lured into ... (read in full...)
I don't like it and insinutated he should find a new 'soul mate'
Q. My boyfriend lately has been saying he wants to get more serious, I'm his soulmate etc. We've been together a year and a half. The other night we were really drunk and he entered me from behind. It really hurt and I hated it. But I always told him ...
A. 12 October 2013: Enjoying anal sex is not a quality, but rather a preference in sex. A person of high quality knows that, is considerate, and is not pushy with his opinion. Maybe you didn't have to break up over this, but instead tell him you disagree with the idea ... (read in full...)
My girlfirend has stopped listening to me ,,,,,
Q. My age 19 and my partner age 16. I love her for the past 1 and a half year. Until the first half of the year everything was going well,she used to obey me,doesn't harass me etc. But after she changed her school,her character is totally changed. She ...
A. 12 October 2013: I cringed about the idea of a girlfriend obeying a boyfriend. She is still growing. It's normal for a young girl to be fickle. I think she is enjoying her new friendship, probably because she doesn't have to obey her. I don't know what harassing ... (read in full...)
My wife removes her wedding ring when she is mad at me!
Q. I love my wife very much and we have 3 beautiful children together. Throughout our relationship – we have had ups and downs but I feel our love is strong. But she has bouts of anger that I have always had trouble really figuring out. 2 weeks...
A. 12 October 2013: I would just ask her why she takes it off, what she gets out of it and what message she's supposed to be sending. For me, I would suspect that she's interested in someone else so she's provoking arguments as to look for a way out. She is either ... (read in full...)
What do people think about dating someone who uses a wheelchair?
Q. Just curious. Because I use one but it seems that most people are really weary of it and I think a lot of them think wheelchair-users are a no go when it comes to dating, or even friendship. I'll be honest and say that making friends has been...
A. 12 October 2013: People would not actively look for someone on a wheelchair, unless they also use wheelchairs. I believe love has no boundaries and it can get over hurdles. I also believe two people can be put together by chance, and then feelings develop. When it ... (read in full...)
Isn't he playing it a bit cool?
Q. Hi I need some advice. Well I met this guy last weekend, we seemed to hit it off and he's since added me in facebook. Yesterday I thought seeing as he'd been the one to add me, I should be the one to start a chat and he appeared to be online. So I...
A. 12 October 2013: He might be shy and waiting for a few more hints so he's sure that it's safe to ask you out. If you like him too why not suggest more things to do in the weekend? It's easier to show your liking when you are face to face. Next time you meet you will ... (read in full...)
Any insight on why he disappeared?
Q. So here's my story, a guy i know since childhood but havent seen since years starts to hit on me and gets in touch for several weeks before things turned romantic. Since we live in different countries we were basicly texting all the time. At some ...
A. 11 October 2013: Childhood friends are always targeted as sex text buddies since people know each other and feel comfortable. I would say all he intended was texting and he found you as a masturbatory tool. To hide this intention he got so "friendly" that he asked ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I'm loved by my boyfriend and he always puts his mom first!
Q. My boyfriend and I have more issues than I can count. We are in our late 20s, been together 3+ yrs, and live together. Issue #1, he is a mamas boy. Whatever mom wants, he does. He goes above and beyond son duties. He gives her just as much, if not ...
A. 10 October 2013: They have a symbiotic relationship and his mom didn't allow him to separate from her to become a man. To avoid upsetting his mom he remains a little boy to this day. He might be confused about the role you play in his life. You are certainly not mom ... (read in full...)
I am lost. I need advice on this proposed separation, help!
Q. I am a 42 year old woman who was married for 14 years with 2 lovely boys. About 3 months after separating I met a man, and our relationship started off slowly, but within a year it was apparent that we both cared for each other deeply-and still do ...
A. 9 October 2013: I think you were in it more than him. He was having cyber affairs, which means he's going to look for women during the trial separation. You are just hanging in there when he said you are the love of his life. More like a currency to buy time and ... (read in full...)
It's like we have nothing interesting to talk about even though I know we do
Q. I feel like me and my boyfriend aren't communicating as much and aren't as connected like we used to be. He's been off with me lately and I always think the worst of things which I hate but I really want things to work between us and I don't like ...
A. 9 October 2013: There is a stereotype that men wait for women to plan social activities and they are not good talkers. I am not sure if this is the case with him. Men also do not feel antsy when there is a lull in the relationship as much as women do. It's okay if ... (read in full...)
I know my fiance loves me but it feels like there is an underlying issue and I don't know what it is?
Q. Hello Agony aunts, I've been dating my fiance now for a year and we've known each other for 5 years. after about 4 months I started to get separation anxiety because the honeymoon phase was slowly ending so the more she got comfortable and ...
A. 8 October 2013: Maybe she is not what you want in a girl. Now that you live with her you see her true colors. Some people just want to have that living together experience, without really being sensitive to your needs. Has it been a month since you last had sex? ... (read in full...)
He said he was depressed and broke up with me!
Q. My bf of 4 years and a half has been depressed for the past few months (i should say ex bf now since he just broke up with me a few hours ago). Sorry if this is too long in advance. When we first got together 4 and half years ago he warned me tha...
A. 8 October 2013: You can never win with a bi polar person. If you show them affection, it's petty. If you don't talk to them, you don't care. If you say you understand, he will say no you don't you don't have my condition. If you say you don't understand, he says ... (read in full...)
Do men like to do the chasing ?
Q. I'm hoping for some input, male and female answers welcome! I've basically realised that I have a really bad complex about being rejected when it comes to blokes! I've been hurt in the past, whereby a male friend who I was at uni with strung me ...
A. 8 October 2013: Not all men like chasing and would prefer you to be direct in your approach. That's especially true for guys who are afraid of being friend zoned. Some guys are shy and not aggressive. They wait for signs, the right time to make the right move. ... (read in full...)
I have lost attraction to my wife since she gained a lot of weight.
Q. Hi i have a problem,my wife is fat she has put on weight,I requested, advised her to decrease her weight, but she not taking any step to do it,due to this i am annoyed how shall i tell her that i am not able to manage my sexual intercourse, i don't ...
A. 7 October 2013: I decide to look at your posting history spanning from 2009. Please don't be embarrassed. There is something wrong with your wife. Turns out this is a bigger problem than just a woman getting fat. ... (read in full...)
I have lost attraction to my wife since she gained a lot of weight.
Q. Hi i have a problem,my wife is fat she has put on weight,I requested, advised her to decrease her weight, but she not taking any step to do it,due to this i am annoyed how shall i tell her that i am not able to manage my sexual intercourse, i don't ...
A. 5 October 2013: Your wife is the same person you married when she was still slim. She did not gain 30 pounds overnight. Weight gain is gradual and most women get fatter after having kids. You know you are not impotent if you get turned on by other women. 3 days is ... (read in full...)
I know my fiance loves me but it feels like there is an underlying issue and I don't know what it is?
Q. Hello Agony aunts, I've been dating my fiance now for a year and we've known each other for 5 years. after about 4 months I started to get separation anxiety because the honeymoon phase was slowly ending so the more she got comfortable and ...
A. 5 October 2013: I am not an emotional girl either and what you call pulling away could be just chilling out and regrouping. It could also be that when you have separation anxiety she feels like pulling away because it stresses her out. It's important that you both ... (read in full...)
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