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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Why would he rather wack off than have sex with the girl that's right there?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. I like to have sex regularly but I'm not a fiend or anything. He's a normal red blooded male, I know he looks at porn although it's not something we discuss, and I know he pleasures himself when ...
A. 10 August 2008: Well, this may not really be a big deal. That is up to you to decide after you have assessed what is actually going on with your lover. I'm no longer confident that you gave us an accurate description of this situation. ... (read in full...)
Why would he rather wack off than have sex with the girl that's right there?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. I like to have sex regularly but I'm not a fiend or anything. He's a normal red blooded male, I know he looks at porn although it's not something we discuss, and I know he pleasures himself when ...
A. 10 August 2008: Are you saying that your boyfriend spends either more or equal time sexually releasing himself to mostly PG-13 magazine photographs of pretty girls than when he has an opportunity of having sex with you?... (read in full...)
Why are guys so sex obsessed?!
Q. I mean its fun and feels really good but girls can live without it. Girls like it a lot too but dont want to sleep with almost ever guy they see, unlike guys. I really dont understand why a guy will also lie or do anything just to get sex. I heard ...
A. 10 August 2008: By the way, for my friend "troubledtoomuch" and any others of more advanced age, I would like to offer my five reasons why the "older" folks among us, married or not, still get horny even though the obvious physiological main purpose is to encourage ... (read in full...)
Why are guys so sex obsessed?!
Q. I mean its fun and feels really good but girls can live without it. Girls like it a lot too but dont want to sleep with almost ever guy they see, unlike guys. I really dont understand why a guy will also lie or do anything just to get sex. I heard ...
A. 10 August 2008: The "anonymous" reader below offers some perceptive insight, although I disagree with some of it. Perhaps I can add some degree of understanding from the male point of view. While I am much older than many who ask questions on DearCupid, I well ... (read in full...)
Why would he rather wack off than have sex with the girl that's right there?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. I like to have sex regularly but I'm not a fiend or anything. He's a normal red blooded male, I know he looks at porn although it's not something we discuss, and I know he pleasures himself when ...
A. 10 August 2008: You seem like a great girl and girlfriend to your man, and yes, we are trying to help you "wrap your head around this." I'm an older man (60 years), but allow me to suggest some explanation and perspective.
Twenty or 30 years ago, maybe even less... (read in full...)
How can I prevent myself ejaculating early?!
Q. I'm a male virgin, but I want to loose my virginity to someone. I've read numerous books on dating and charisma and conversational skills. I've even read books on sexual techniques. My only concern is lasting a "respectable" time with someone I ...
A. 8 August 2008: In my opinion, you are worried about something that has not occurred, and like many young men (me included but it was long ago), the problem you may have the first time is finishing at all. This is often due to nervousness, being uncomfortable and ... (read in full...)
Problems with shaving in the intimate area...
Q. why is it that after I shave my pubes "down there" and my underarms I get cysts and there are 2-5 hairs coming from the same follicle? its not like that when I shave my legs....
A. 8 August 2008: Well I've seen that happen to females in both places - but just little bumps that go away after a day or a few hours. I think that is probably just from irritation in a sensitive area, but if you mean large bumps that stay, you might want to check ... (read in full...)
My girl has an odor down there, is it normal?
Q. Hi, uhm, this a kind of embaressing question, or rather problem. When i lick her "you know what/where" it kinda smells, realy bad, its a kinda anticlimax and sometimes i cant stand it. I have seen porn videos with guys licking girls without ...
A. 8 August 2008: All women have an aroma that usually emits from her vagina, or sometimes an "overall" smell from her vulva that may develop depending on her hygiene. In other words, if she has recently "freshened" her private area externally by simply bathing or ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend enjoys oral sex, but her pubic hair is a turnoff for me, I've talked to her about it, but so far it is still the same, what do I do now?
Q. My girl says she really enjoys guys giving her oral sex. I really want to but im put off by her pubes. I don't want her pubes in my mouth. I've talked to her about it and she says she might get it waxed but that was months ago and still the bush ...
A. 8 August 2008: Well I solve this issue by using my fingers to spread the pubic hair away from the areas of interest. When my woman is lying on her back in bed, I'll place a pillow under her bun and position myself flat on my belly between her legs. Of course, ... (read in full...)
I get pre-ejaculation when we are just hanging out or talking - can I control this?
Q. Hey Guys! Uhm I have a question.. Well I had my other one answered but its not solved.. So me and my girlfriend had sex and its great and all but like I said, what I hate is that sometimes when were just talking or just hanging out doing nothing ...
A. 8 August 2008: In my opinion, you probably just having raging hormones. At your age, you are simply horny as all get out. One suggestion would be to masturbate "prior" to a get together with your girlfriend.... (read in full...)
We have been together for four years, married one, lately I have become dissatisfied with our sex life, I want more with intensity, he cannot last long enough to satisfy me, I love him, he is caring, but I need more from him, what to do?
Q. i am 22 years old. i met my husband when i was 18 and he was 27. he was my first in everything. we've been together for 4 years and married 1 out of those 4yrs. i love him with all my heart, but lately i started noticing changes in myself. it's kind ...
A. 8 August 2008: The most important thing you said is that you "love him with all your heart," and that he is really nice and caring. First of all, think about what it will be like if he is no longer in your life, and we will get back to that shortly . . .
Now it i... (read in full...)
I really want to improve my sex life with my girlfriend...its all getting a bit repetitive!
Q. Hey I have a bit of a problem. I really want to improve my sex life, with my girlfriend! We used to have really passionate sex, and I loved it. Now though, it seems like we're just doing the same things, and it's hard to introduce new th...
A. 7 August 2008: Well in my opinion, sex is something that always is going to be somewhat repetitive. If you are currently about 20-something and getting bored, how will you feel 30 years from now? That's why at least some people cheat, I suppose. But if a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has never had an orgasm in her entire life! Could it be that some people just don't orgasm at all?
Q. My girlfriend has never had an orgasm.. Not just with me, but ever in her life. I have had multiple sexual partners in my past and I never had a problem giving those girls an orgasm, my girlfriend has also had multiple sexual partners in the past...
A. 7 August 2008: Anything is possible, including a psychological or physical reason that a woman has yet to orgasm, but a total inability to release this way would be extremely unlikely. In my opinion, it is more probable that she has trouble reaching a state of ... (read in full...)
Do I say the "L" Word or not?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles, I've been dating my boyfriend (who doesn't label me his 'girlfriend' due to some 'commitment issues') for over a year and a half and I am realizing lately that I've been wanting to tell him that I love him. I find myself a...
A. 6 August 2008: Well I think that it would certainly be reasonable, after 1-1/2 years, that the "love" word has become part of the relationship. You are otherwise apparently involved with a married man, a love-triangle or worse, and the best anyone could really ... (read in full...)
Does having a lot of sex affect the relationship or our love??
Q. I have been in a relation for above 2 years and also have sex relationship. I really wanted to know does having a lot of sex affect the relationship or our love?? If yes, what should be done to make the relationship strong?...
A. 6 August 2008: Well I must agree with "daletom" - Just make sure that love is included, which means spending quality time doing many other things, being committed and helpful to each other, being faithful and so much more. At your age, sorry, but this described ... (read in full...)
Is being this horny, all the time....normal?
Q. ok I'm 15 and I'm always horny. Whenever i get an erection and I'm alone i tend to masturbate and its quite annoying because if i dont masturbate then I'm very horny through out the day..is there anything that i can do too not be as horny? Or is ...
A. 5 August 2008: Perfectly healthy and normal. Welcome to manhood.... (read in full...)
I'm nearly 30 and still I don't feel ready for sex. What's going on?
Q. I need to gauge some opinions here please aunties. I'm nearly 30, single, and still a virgin; but this isn't what bothers me, it's the fact that I don't feel ready for sex yet. I have no drive for sex. I see people posting questions on here...
A. 5 August 2008: Well in my opinion, your description is anything but normal, although it is psychologically fine as long as you are happy with it. But my first thought while reading your description is that there are many physiological reasons to have sex. As a ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing a married man for 6 years and I think he's talking to other girls online!
Q. Hi: I have been seeing a married man for 6 years now, he tells me he loves me but he keeps chatting with women on line and wanting to get to know them better. When I ask him about he says it is not true but I know otherwise, what should I do?...
A. 5 August 2008: Good grief! Such incredible stupidity . . .... (read in full...)
Will I ever have good sex ever again? None of my other lovers have stacked up to him!
Q. Can I ever have really good sex again? I had sex with a younger guy I was 29 he was 18 and we would have wild sex for 2 or 3 hours each night. It was the most physical connection I ever felt with a man but we weren't dating. Just having sex ever...
A. 5 August 2008: With subdued apology, I must totally disagree with most who answered. This woman is apparently in her early 30s with decades of life ahead.
My answer is that you will certainly have great sex again and probably with men or a man more compatible in a... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I love him. What should I do? He has a girlfriend.
Q. I am love with my friend and i dont know how to tell him. we already have a sexual relationship, but he has a girlfriend. What should i do about this? i am single and we have been seeing each other for about 3 years....
A. 5 August 2008: Lot's of missing information with which advisors could assess this situation, but the basic idea is that both of you ladies are very likely simply members of his "sex harem," and I still remember how much fun it was to be doing about the same back ... (read in full...)
Why boys are interested in breasts so much
Q. People wonder why boys are so facinated with girls' breasts. One reason is the peek-a-boo or hide and seek faxctor. In our culture, breasts are almost always covered, even with the skimpiest bathing suit. This doesn't prevent girls from teasing ...
A. 5 August 2008: In my opinion, no. Very few if any "normal" guys would ever look at perky or otherwise attractive breasts on a woman and think much of anything about feeding babies. I'm totally the normal heterosexual type, and I'm certain that all three men in the ... (read in full...)
He told me we have to stop sleeping together before somebody finds out! Please help.
Q. This is my situaton. I am unhappily married for many years now. My husband and I stopped having sex and both sleep in different bedrooms. I have a high school friend and he is also married. Lately he told me he always wanted me but everytime I was ...
A. 5 August 2008: You must put this behind you and chalk it up to a "learning experience" in life, and despite your intense disappointments today, you will have the opportunities to be totally happy and fulfilled in the future. Ok, well it really can be so much ... (read in full...)
Is he becoming bored? After two years of sex with just me, is he losing interest?
Q. I have tons of questions going through my head! Ok, maybe just three or four, but it's driving me mad, I need guys help... So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. He's been my first. I was his second, but almost like his firs...
A. 5 August 2008: Well, familiarity may indeed be the case. You are probably on the right track in your thinking - which is that over time, either partner may become a little complacent about sex and other things as well. It is similar to eating the same favorite ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to train yourself to have multipe orgasms?
Q. Is it possible to train myself to get multiple orgasms? Or is this something that you're born with, either you can get it or you can't. I have no problem getting very intense orgasms, but usually after the initial climax followed by a string of ...
A. 4 August 2008: In my opinion, most women are quite capable of multiple orgasms. In fact, women are uniquely endowed, physically and emotionally, to enjoy a series of two or more such pleasures IF they happen to marry, date or know a man who knows now to help her ... (read in full...)
When will I find a true love?
Q. When will I find a true love?...
A. 4 August 2008: You will not "find" true love - you will have to nurture it.... (read in full...)
He told me we have to stop sleeping together before somebody finds out! Please help.
Q. This is my situaton. I am unhappily married for many years now. My husband and I stopped having sex and both sleep in different bedrooms. I have a high school friend and he is also married. Lately he told me he always wanted me but everytime I was ...
A. 3 August 2008: Some married men (but not all including myself when married) seek out a "mistress" for short or long-term sexual enjoyment on the side. This sounds like a guy who "has always wanted you" as stated and, after having got his wish, now wants to ... (read in full...)
I know it's said that size is not important but how you use "it", so can you give me a pointer or two of what this actually means?
Q. I am 20 years old and i am a VIRGIN!!! I know pathetic right. Well anyways I have met this girl and we have been seeing each other for almost 6 monthes and she is starting to pressure me about sex. Everytime we start to do it I get scared and freeze ...
A. 3 August 2008: Think about "making love" as using your whole being. It is everything you do from the time you meet for the evening until you part. It is not, or should not be, just doing the "nasty," as some may say.
Both lexilou and danielpew led off with good... (read in full...)
Why would he rather wack off than have sex with the girl that's right there?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. I like to have sex regularly but I'm not a fiend or anything. He's a normal red blooded male, I know he looks at porn although it's not something we discuss, and I know he pleasures himself when ...
A. 2 August 2008: Too much porn, or in the case of some guys, any amount of porn reduces the urge to be intimate with his woman. Every man is his own, but I can assure you that a good release with a woman is much better than a hand, at least in my case. ... (read in full...)
Why boys are interested in breasts so much
Q. People wonder why boys are so facinated with girls' breasts. One reason is the peek-a-boo or hide and seek faxctor. In our culture, breasts are almost always covered, even with the skimpiest bathing suit. This doesn't prevent girls from teasing ...
A. 2 August 2008: Not exactly a question, but I agree wholeheartedly. Everyone just enjoy . . .... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a good story or had any luck with 'Online Dating Agencies?
Q. So I finally broke down and decided to test out the online dating scene, and to say the least, I'm not impressed. I wasted an hour or so of my time filling out the eharmony survey... just for them to tell me I'm not an acceptable match. Great. Now ...
A. 2 August 2008: In my opinion, eharmony is way overrated and, as about the most expensive, it is a ripoff. One called plentyoffish.com is free last time I checked. ... (read in full...)
We were purely casual, so why is he mad that I got with another guy?
Q. i am 18 years old and was seeing a 19 guy for a few weeks quite seriously. then everything went a bit wrong and we stopped seeing as much of each other. he made it very clear he didn't want a relationship and so we left it casual. now he has found ...
A. 2 August 2008: Remember this: Men are basically possessive and territorial. Most humans are, actually. We grow a bit wiser with the years, but your casual boyfriend is still quite immature.... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake by never making an effort with my ex girlfriend when I had the chance?
Q. I had a girlfriend who was really nice to me, gorgeous, independent, smart (college grad), never asked me for material things, cooked for me, took care of me when i was sick, there for me when i needed her, faithful-- and i never made time for her. ...
A. 1 August 2008: Okay, so I was very brief - as usual - with my assessment, Now, what follows is your possible redemption with this girlfriend - and my suggestion differs only slightly from the other good responses. As "xray2112" noted with excellent advice, you ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex or should I wait???
Q. hi im 14 yearz old and i ive been talkin to a guy i known for 6 months the bad thing iz that he iz onli 18 years old and im scared that its not rite but i lke him so i dont care but he asked me if i would have sex with him and i said i maybe wu...
A. 1 August 2008: Wait. You will years and years of love if you wait a few years, and you may have years and years of pain, disappointment, sadness and regret if you become sexually active now.... (read in full...)
How can I make my first time having sex enjoyable?
Q. Hi DearCupid, I'm 23 and a virgin. Basically, my question is how can I make my first time having sex an enjoyable one, or at least partially enjoyable? You seem to hear that everyone's first time is a disaster, awkward, or embarrassing, so...
A. 1 August 2008: In my opinion, the best way to minimize the awkwardness would be to:
1. Take your time. Be very cool. Undress and crawl into a comfortable bed and environment with your sweetheart and begin to "slowly" hug and kiss. Use the palms of your hands to s... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake by never making an effort with my ex girlfriend when I had the chance?
Q. I had a girlfriend who was really nice to me, gorgeous, independent, smart (college grad), never asked me for material things, cooked for me, took care of me when i was sick, there for me when i needed her, faithful-- and i never made time for her. ...
A. 1 August 2008: Did you make a mistake? As we say in Texas, "Yep."... (read in full...)
I know she cheated, but I don't know what to do, is this a waste of my time?
Q. I am completely in love with my gilfriend. We were just friends for 5 months or so and we've been dating for about 6 months now. I cant tell if my girlfriend really loves me, or if she just playing me. She always talks about how hot other guys are, ...
A. 31 July 2008: Dude, for your sake, you have barely dipped your toes in the ocean of love. ... (read in full...)
I'm full of anger since I got married! Any advice?
Q. Hi! i am 21 years old and i got marry a year ago. i am having a bad time with my husban, he is a good man, but i don't feel like we are connected. he never say anything mean to me, but when we are with his friends he kind of ingnore me. everytime we ...
A. 30 July 2008: As you continue to mature, it sounds to me like you will become increasingly unhappy and dissatisfied with this relationship, but know that we all make some errors along the path of life. Best advice: Speak up, tell it like it is, make reasonable ... (read in full...)
Will I become just a sex object for my boyfriend?
Q. Hello I have been having this relationship with this guy, he is wonderful with me, he does everything to please me, we always have great time together, we have been together for a little bit more than 5 months, so when we had 3 months of ...
A. 29 July 2008: It just sounds like the usual way good relationships begin. Great times, great sex that gets better and better, a wonderful guy who does everything to please you - What the heck is wrong with any of that? And as for your last thought, here is the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not enjoy sex after losing your virginity?
Q. I was wondering if it is normal to not enjoy sex for the first 10 times after breaking the virginity?...
A. 28 July 2008: Yes, until you find a man who, sexually, really knows what he is doing.... (read in full...)
I can't have an orgasm with my partner, although it works OK alone
Q. im 18 and i carnt have a orgasum with my partner but i can through oral sex and mastubation, i dont wont to tell my bf because he thinks i do have one during sex, i get the arousal feeling during sex but i never seem 2b able have one, i dont no what ...
A. 28 July 2008: This is the same question that reoccurs time and time again on DearCupid - Women of every age who rarely or never experience orgasm(s) with their male companions. In my opinion, this worldwide problem is the result of males, the vast majority of ... (read in full...)
How do men know we've decided on an open marriage when neither of us has said anything?
Q. my husband and i have started having an open marriage about 4 months ago. i haven't done anything with another man yet and my husband is eager for me to get started. i am too, but i am looking for the right man to be my first. i don't think i ...
A. 28 July 2008: Hell if I know, but Angela.B is correct. Women give off "signals" that some guys pickup right away, but for much of my life I was a minute or more too late to realize that an invitation had happened. Thus I estimate many missed opportunities, except ... (read in full...)
My husband says we are too old for sex (58), I think his love has faded, what can I do?
Q. Hi, My husband has decided not to have sex with me anymore and the only thing he will say about it is he's old (58) and I am 59, and still feel like I would like that part of my life back. he is nice to me but rarely touches me, hugs or kisses. ...
A. 27 July 2008: I'm 60 and my girlfriend is 61, and we get it on quite well. But I'll admit that, after two heart attacks, my stamina is less than the old days. Again, troubledtoomuch provided excellent advice, and as kastheshizz said, "You are never too old for ... (read in full...)
Does oral sex tickle for women???
Q. I don't understand...why do some girls feel ticklish during oral sex and others not? I've been with this one girl for about a month and a half on and off and a couple times I got the impression from her body language that she did not want oral ...
A. 27 July 2008: Some women here have said they don't like it, and to each their own preference. Some perhaps have simply not experienced it, or have not experienced it done well. Others are afraid that their aroma or taste will be unpleasant for their man, but if ... (read in full...)
Gf told me I'm not the best sex she's had, what should I do?
Q. hey ppl out there ive been in a relationship for a year and some months and i used to ask my gf if i was the best at sex she used to tell me yes and i was the first person to make her to cum alot and when having sex now i ask her again recently who ...
A. 26 July 2008: First of all, you seem to be "hung up" on being the "best." That is a trap, but if you really want to be a very good lover, you should consider learning everything possible about "cunnilingus." Search "cunningus" on this Web site and read my ... (read in full...)
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