A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:This is my situaton. I am unhappily married for many years now. My husband and I stopped having sex and both sleep in different bedrooms. I have a high school friend and he is also married. Lately he told me he always wanted me but everytime I was unavailable, either I have a boyfriend and now I am married. Then I told him how unhappy I am, I told him everything that has been happening at home. We started going out and spending time together. We even slept together on numeruous ocassions. I love him and I know he loves me too. Recently, he told me we have to stop sleeping together before somebody finds out. He said we still can be friends and go out together, talk but no sex. It's rather hard considering how much I love him and how I wanted to be near him and all. HELP!!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 August 2008):
 You must put this behind you and chalk it up to a "learning experience" in life, and despite your intense disappointments today, you will have the opportunities to be totally happy and fulfilled in the future. Ok, well it really can be so much better for you - if NOT perfect. But you both were wrong even if you apparently both got much of what was desired. Don't wander when married, or best to get out of the marriage if children will be involved.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all your help. I have a feeling that I have been taken advantage of due to my vulnerability at the time. I crave for intimacy and here is a guy who can give me what I need, then when he gets enough, he backs out. I do understand very well and I do feel sorry for myself for being such a fool. Thanks guys...
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Double M deserves high praise for this answer. I think this is what's happening here.
I think the only way we can help you is to suggest that you think hard about your own marriage and decide whether it makes sense to keep it. If I were you, I wouldn't. I know the decision to end a marriage is rarely easy.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 August 2008):
Some married men (but not all including myself when married) seek out a "mistress" for short or long-term sexual enjoyment on the side. This sounds like a guy who "has always wanted you" as stated and, after having got his wish, now wants to minimize his possible loss (if discovered) with hope that no one will ever know. Although he may "love" you and certainly enjoyed your pleasures, I'll wager that he also really loves his wife and fears losing her if she were ever to know about his wanderings. In short, he won but does not want to lose.
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