A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I mean its fun and feels really good but girls can live without it. Girls like it a lot too but dont want to sleep with almost ever guy they see, unlike guys. I really dont understand why a guy will also lie or do anything just to get sex. I heard that its the man's duty to spread his seed or whatever but most guys dont even want kids so why is sex the number one thing on their mind all the time? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Because a pussy (preferably a moist one) is just the most fantastic and incredible thing ever, and to spunk inside one is something we are fixated with!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Men are driven to have sex, to procreate. Women are drivin by feelings and to have a stable relationship. It is that simple.
It doesn't make men mean or horrible they are just built differently. How they choose to operate can make them bad, horrible but in the same way women can also be mean, horrible.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (10 August 2008):
 Biology can account for some of the behaviour differences.
A woman (without contraception) can have sex once, end up pregnant for 9 months, and then bringing up a child for the next 15 years or more.
A man can have sex once, make someone pregnant, and then go on to do the same thing later that day. And the next day.
This biological difference is connected to the different forms our desires take. There is no biological benefit to a woman having many lovers, whilst there is for a man (namely: more children).
DoubleM raises an interesting question of 'why desire remains for older people, when pregnancy is no longer possible'. My guess would be that it's because our sex-drives are so deeply embedded in our behaviour that stay with us a lot longer after they are 'useful'.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Those are good suggestions that DoubleM just listed. Sex at 63 is just as good as when when I was in my 30s. OK, 4 times a day is just a fond memory now. My wife says, "Thank god". :) Number 2 is a biggie. My wife went through menopause early at 41 and to not have to worry about making a mistake made sex a lot better and more relaxing. The closeness of sex is great at any age.
The nice thing about getting older is that the sexual desire between men and women levels out, with the woman being the one who can do it more often. Both are satisfied.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 August 2008):
 By the way, for my friend "troubledtoomuch" and any others of more advanced age, I would like to offer my five reasons why the "older" folks among us, married or not, still get horny even though the obvious physiological main purpose is to encourage human procreation. The question that I earlier proposed was: ""Why are older men and women still horny long after it would be practicable or desirable to have children?" This can be a strong urge and very apparent (though maybe less frequent) despite declining hormones in later life.
My suggestion includes:
1. We are accustomed to being horny, at least occasionally. Why stop now?
2. The fear of unwanted pregnancy is gone, so why stop now?
3. We either still cherish companionship or have it, so why stop now becuase if we do, so will the companionship.
4. Why stop what is both fun and healthy throughout life?
5. And . . . Why not?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): DoubleM makes a good point about hormones. It seems that men peak around 20 or so and women peak in their 30s or 40s. That is confirmed by a couple of women who I talk to about it. My wife was at her highest in her 30s and so was another woman who I knew, but it may have also been because of circumstances in their lives more than the hormones. I seemed to peak in my 30s also, but I think that was because I had the most exciting women in my life at that age and had 3 girlfriends in just over a year and 2 at one time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Men are more likely than women to enjoy the physical side of sex without the affection. Women are more likely to enjoy the affection without the sex. However, most men and women both like there to be both the physical sex and affection before and after. My wife had 2 or 3 one night stands and I had one many years ago. We both enjoyed the sex at the time, but there was something missing after the sex was over. Sex for both of us was not as good when it was with someone who we didn't have much feelings for. I had a girlfriend who I liked a lot many years ago and sex was great with her because we really enjoyed being with each other. I still remember it well after more than 25 years. There was another woman who I dated shortly after. The sex with her was very good, but we both just wanted a fling. I don't remember the sex much at all any more. My wife had a boyfriend who was somewhat boring in the screwing department, but he was very affectionate. She remembers him. She also had boyfriends who were better at screwing, but they were just flings and there was little affection. She remembers little about them.
The best sex that my wife and I have ever had is with each other. One of my girlfriends was better than her in bed, but the feeling of real love wasn't there. She is the one who I remember. It was great with her, but not as good as with my wife when we were dating many years ago. The one that I don't remember was more exciting than anyone else, but there was no real affection there. Actually, she dragged me into the bedroom on our first date, about 2 minutes after I got her back home. I always waited until the 2nd date before I even made the slightest move to get a woman into bed. We were all in our 30s at the time.
Some women jump into bed with a guy faster than a lot of guys do. They either really crave the sex and like it or they are needing affection and try to get it with sex. My wife had a period in her life when she did that. She was more likely to do that than I was at that time, even though I have always had a higher sex drive than she has.
I don't think that generalizations about men and women are really very accurate, as everyone is different. There are men who want affection more than some women do. There are women who crave sex even more than a lot of men. It is different depending on the person and what they are looking for at the time and how they feel at the time.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 August 2008):
The "anonymous" reader below offers some perceptive insight, although I disagree with some of it. Perhaps I can add some degree of understanding from the male point of view. While I am much older than many who ask questions on DearCupid, I well remember when I was in my youth, and as a single older man today, I insist that attitudes are little different even with my recent 50-60 year old girlfriends.
In short, it mostly boils down to hormones, especially in youth. What are hormones? Much remains unknown, but hormones are substances created by a variety of glands (both in plants and animals) that regulate most everything in life including behavior. Neither sex, nor life itself, could exist without hormones. Sexual behavior is just of of the things that hormones influence, and they are strongest in youth. This is when it is physiologically natural for members of the opposite sex to mate for reproduction, therefore life (humans for one), are highly attracted to each other.
Without providing a four-year study, please suffice it to say that the sex drive between us is primarily hormonal, a number of processes working overtime at your age, and that is why boys and girls are usually very "horny" for each other. A better question might be: "Why are older men and women still horny long after it would be practicable or desirable to have children?" LOL I don't know, but I'm glad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): Vow, you are not going to like what I have to say but I am not trying to upset you; I am only giving you my honest opinion based on what I read from your posting;
You surely seem upset with men; somehow I get the feeling that a guy or guys have hurt you and or used you; I DO NOT agree with your statement that: "girls can live without it"; I am aware of lots of girls and women who are complaining if they do not get enough sex.
I personally believe you have been involved with the wrong men and or guys if you think that men/guys are just after sex; I disagree totally; I know of many happy couples where there is a lot of love, respect and trust and sex is not the most important thing in there relationship; I personally have been in marriage and relationship and making love to my husband or partner is more then just "sex"; it is making love!
Vow, and trust me there is a big difference!
I suggest (and please don't get me wrong)you need to meet the right guy or type of guy to have a good relationship with; somebody that will love and respect you; somebody that you can love; then it will not be about SEX; but you will learn to appreciate the art of MAKING LOVE.
Making love is so different from just having SEX; and not all men are into just "bang, bang, thank you ma'am"; but then you also need to ask yourself: why are you always ending up with these guys? Could it be that you are sending out the wrong signals?
I suggest you have a good look at your reltionships with men untill now and figure out what went wrong? What kind of guys did you attract? What kind of guy do you want and what can you do to change the situation?
It is very easy to blame men; BUT I can assure you not all men are just after SEX; I do know a lot of men that value lots ot other things more then SEX; needless to say a healthy sexlife is important to any relationship.
I am sorry, I do not mean to sound harsh, but I do think you should take stock and reconsider your opinion; maybe you will not agree with me now, but hopefully once you have meet a decent loving guy and you have change your attitude, you will agree with me.
I sincerely hope you find that guy soon; in the meanwhile I suggest you do some retrospection;
I wish you lots of love and happiness and hope you find that "right" guy soon; then hopefully you will also change your opinion and enjoy "making love"
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): From a mans perspective I would like to answer that question. Lets see how can I describe the mind-set? I think most guys want more than just sex. I know I do. But the thing is. Generally speaking women always want to change a guy. women want long-term relationships off the bat. Thats not a good approach. For a guy intimacy has to come first. For a women she wants committment first. I think the best relationships come from good friendships. With or without sex.when a gets hurt in a relationship he generally takes the fuck-it attitude. Every female he see is just another peice of ass. A woman is nothing more than a cum-dumpster! Every woman reminds him of that bitch he loved more than life itself that ripped his heart out and stomped on it! Because of your sister he is numb. Emotionless and heartless. It takes a lot for a man to let his guard down and open up to a female. Seems like when he finally does the women run. You ask us to be honest. To let you all in. To open-up to you. When we do you all lose respect for us. Suddenly were not the man you thought we were. We are seen as sissys/wimps. Less than men. Women want what they cant have always. You are attracted to us for our masculinity, our roughness, our strenth and confidence. In order for us have the connection with women that most of you desire we have to show a more human side of our personalitys. That means letting our guard down and being vulnerable. Most women are not bluont and in your face like guys. A women will beat around the bush. She will deceive us to get what she wants and can be very sinicale. Long story short. It's a trust issue. It's easy for us to fuck you. Hard for us to make love to you. Because we all know deep down inside just how devios a woman can be and the damage she is capable of.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (9 August 2008):
 not every guy is like that, we are generalizing here... i know many girls who need sex more than some of my guy friends do!
that being said, for the most part it does seem as if girls are a little more restrained when it comes to sexual activity. it could have to do with the whole girls in general are more sappy than boys thing, in that more times than not sex means something more than just fulfilling physical needs... which is exactly what one of my guys said the other day.
but honestly, beats me, too. we're the same age, same country, same sex, and we both have no clue!
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