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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 15 September 2008: To "CatherineAn,"
To attempt an answer to your question, female ejaculation is certainly NOT required to achieve orgasm by G-spot, but I would suppose that some women ejaculate. If the question were worded somewhat differently, the phys... (read in full...)
Could he have mistaken thrush for chlamydia?
Q. a guy i had slept with accused me of giving him chlamydia when we had sex last week. he told me he had been checked up and had it..so i went to get checked out, but am still awaiting the results. he told another guy i had slept with that he should ...
A. 11 September 2008: Great news girl! And "Tisha-1" has a good suggestion to steer clear of that guy and others who may have spread rumors about you. Best wishes.... (read in full...)
Have I sold myself cheap? Have I spoilt what could have been a 'proper' relationship by having sex with my co-worker and friend?
Q. I'm just following up on a question I posed on 12 August, which explained how I had sex with someone I have worked with and been friends with for nearly 3 years. (We are late 30s/early 40s and both fairly recently single after long-term ...
A. 27 August 2008: Sounds like a good sign, and that you are "playing your cards" right. In my opinion, you should still let him lead the way. Stay friendly but do not make any moves until he begins chasing you. Generally, men like at least a bit of a challenge, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me to go find himself. How could he just walk away so easily?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend of fours recently dumped me two weeks ago. He said he needed to find himself, although he is 22 years old. Our relationship was a on and off one but this has been the longest time within the four years that we have not...
A. 25 August 2008: In my opinion, the most difficult part of a break-up (and I have experienced some big ones over my 40 adult years) for a man is thinking that the female partner is ok with it. There must have been some situation with the relationship that triggered ... (read in full...)
Have I sold myself cheap? Have I spoilt what could have been a 'proper' relationship by having sex with my co-worker and friend?
Q. I'm just following up on a question I posed on 12 August, which explained how I had sex with someone I have worked with and been friends with for nearly 3 years. (We are late 30s/early 40s and both fairly recently single after long-term ...
A. 25 August 2008: Ummm. Well, I'm not him. Only he is him, but in my opinion, the first moment you see him again you should be friendly but cool, until you can assess his response to you. It's not "as if nothing happened," but the ball in his court, so to speak. If ... (read in full...)
Premature ejaculation? How do I prevent it?
Q. I cum really fast, how can i prevent that?...
A. 25 August 2008: Probably the most effective is the "stop-start method" in which you gradually train yourself to gain better control. Whether through masturbation or intercourse, when you near the state of arousal that results in ejaculation, stop the stimulation. ... (read in full...)
My husband has lost his desire for sex with me after one year. What do I do?
Q. I have been married for 1 year now and my husband has no desire what-so-ever to have sexual relations with me anymore. I asked him why and he said that it was because it wasn't fun anymore that the new had worn off. What do I do?...
A. 25 August 2008: In my opinion, it would be very difficult for anyone to offer anything useful for you because of the very limited information provided. There has got to be more to the story than what you offered. ... (read in full...)
Should I let my boyfriend do oral on me if I'm uncomfortable about it?
Q. I Have This Problem. My Boyfriend Wants To Lick Me Out. But It Was Hard Enough to let him finger me. I'm not scared of Anything but i don't know if to let him do this? or not. i told him my opinion that i think its horrible and harsh on anyone ...
A. 25 August 2008: I'll agree with the previous advisors below that you are perfectly right to allow only such activity that is within your comfort level. It is your body, period.
However, you may someday learn that oral stimulation is quite pleasurable for you, and ... (read in full...)
Should I masurbate or will it affect my health?
Q. HI all, i want ask that can i masturbate ? i'm 22. i masturbate every week after watching some porn. i never had sex with any girl. will this effect my health or not. some time i'm curious. i'm 22 170cm and my weight is 65 KG ? please guide m...
A. 24 August 2008: Masturbation is fine within reason, and you are possibly more restrained than others. The only problem it may cause in the future is some premature ejaculation when you are with a woman. This is because young men become accustomed to the relatively ... (read in full...)
The only way my wife can climax is by "woman on top" or by touching herself, a problem she had in her previous marriage. What can I do?
Q. My wife and i have a great sex life and we realy enjoy trying new positions. The one thing is that i am unable to make my wife cum whether it be lying on top / using my fingers or oraly. The only way she can cum is if she is on top of me and ...
A. 24 August 2008: Woman-on-top, or cowgirl style, is a favorite position for many women and men as well. I'll agree with others that you should be pleased that you are fulfilling her. You can always have sessions with various other positions - then when ready - ... (read in full...)
I was drunk and I don't remember... would I have been aware of having sex with this guy?
Q. I was recently at a party where I met a guy and we kissed - at least I have no recollection of having gone any further with him. One friend told another that she had caught him with his trousers down and that I had a hole in the crotch area of my ...
A. 24 August 2008: Yes, you would have some recollection of having had intercourse unless you were completely unconscious for a considerable length of time. I think that your friend more than exaggerates. ... (read in full...)
Is there some way, that I can get my wife to squirt when she has an orgasm, this turns me on?
Q. I was wondering what i can do to my wife to get her to squirt when she has an orgasim that is a major turn on for me and would like her to be able to do it...
A. 24 August 2008: Basically, "TasteofIndia" is right on - few women "squirt." Contrary to popular opinion, however, I think that every woman actually emits at least a little through her urethra during a good orgasm. Sometimes it is quite a bit (a teaspoon or so), and ... (read in full...)
Do you have some advice for knowing when he is ready for intercourse?
Q. My boyfriend and I are into each other and have been dating. I am 18 and he will soon turn 18. Both myself or my boyfriend has had sex. However, we both have said that we want to and want it to be special. We have talked about it and decided that it ...
A. 24 August 2008: Hmmmm. Well I think you are especially prudent to wait until his legal age (wondering where this may be). It's certainly more concern for jurisdiction than most of us.
But anyway, you apparently said that both of you have had sex (or not?) In eith... (read in full...)
I am debating as to whether or not it would be ok to have sex with this younger man-any advice?
Q. Some background may help. I am a woman in my early 40’s. My former husband and I were high school sweethearts and married. He and I had one son. About six years ago just before my husband died unexpectedly we adopted two children. After the death of ...
A. 24 August 2008: In my opinion, this is a no-brainer. The fellow has made his interest known. The age difference does not matter. Just be very discrete about it at first and see what happens after a get-together or two in private (at a hotel maybe)? If word suddenly ... (read in full...)
What do I say to my 10 year-old son after he saw us having sex?
Q. I was having sex with my neighbour and my 10 year old son walked in and saw us. It kind of spoiled the mood just as we were getting into it. I have taught my son to always knock and wait for someone to answer before entering a room.I am a single ...
A. 24 August 2008: You do not owe him much (if any) explanation about what was going on or why. The advisors below all provided good advice. A lock on your bedroom door is needed, or you might want to have your fun at his place instead. ... (read in full...)
Would calling it making love rather than sex be better?
Q. I found your website while surfing the net. I understand that you give advice regarding sexuality. I am in college and my parents have a cabin by a lake. Last summer I spent the break there. My mum also invited a friend. This friend was ...
A. 24 August 2008: Both "FinnMcCool" and "happytochat" provided excellent advice, and I totally agree that you should not communicate with her all that much. This is a situation where: If meant to be, it will simply occur sometime when the two of you happen to be ... (read in full...)
I can't keep up with my boyfriend in the bedroom.
Q. soo me and my boyfriend have been together for just over 2 year now and to be honest hes SEX CRAZY we have sex 26 days of the month! we only dont for 4 because its my time of the month, weve been secually active for about 8 months now! and yeah its ...
A. 24 August 2008: It is difficult to understand that you "feel useless" when you willingly have sex so frequently. I would suppose that vitamins might help boost your energy level, which reminds me that I need to take my multiple today. But in what way are you "not ... (read in full...)
I enjoy deep penetration but my boyfriend is not very gifted lengthwise. What can be done?
Q. Hi everyone. Well one of my favourite things in bed is to be penetrated really deeply... And my boyfriend is, well, not exactly gifted in the size department. I really love him and he is desperate to please me, but the only ways we can do it is ...
A. 23 August 2008: I'm sure you know that a couple of positions facilitate a slightly deeper penetration, such as "doggie" style and cowgirl (woman-on-top) depending upon your position. Another that goes deep is difficult to describe with words, but I'll try. You lay ... (read in full...)
Why are people so stressed and miserable?
Q. Why is everybody I see always so stressed and miserable? You only get one life,and its way too short to be anything but happy.why dont people realize this?...
A. 23 August 2008: Excellent question girl, or maybe more precisely, excellent advice. Keep it through all your years and I think that you will be happy. But in an attempt to answer your question, the structure of societies throughout the world require either ... (read in full...)
What is a vagina suppose to look like?
Q. I just turned 18, and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. Recently we have began to get really touchy and and intimate, but I haven't had sex im still a vigin and so is he. I've never seen his "penis" and he's never seen my "vagina" nor has he ...
A. 23 August 2008: First of all, few will ever actually see your vagina except a gynecologist or two, if and when your are medically examined. Your vagina is the canal through which you will someday experience penetration by your man's fingers and penis, and from ... (read in full...)
Could he have mistaken thrush for chlamydia?
Q. a guy i had slept with accused me of giving him chlamydia when we had sex last week. he told me he had been checked up and had it..so i went to get checked out, but am still awaiting the results. he told another guy i had slept with that he should ...
A. 23 August 2008: Although I have never contracted chlamydia, I know that the symptoms rarely show up before a week, usually longer. Some discharge is often the first symptom for both genders, then additional things like pain may occur. Some folks have no obvious ... (read in full...)
Could it be orgasm?
Q. There was a time while having sex with my girlfriend when she started trembling hard, calling my name and saying she sees darkness and stuff. Could it be orgasm?...
A. 22 August 2008: Possible. Individual women do a variety of different things, but perhaps the more common are heavy breathing, tensing up then relaxing with a moan, sigh, exhaling loudly or other verbal response; or in some cases, some are quite vocal with rhythmic ... (read in full...)
Why is "I Love You" so scary to say?
Q. There’s a new term of affection out there in case you haven’t noticed. It’s a phrase rooted most likely in some rap song… I would appreciate it if someone could reference the first use if it, I know I am curious about it. Well the term is “Show ...
A. 22 August 2008: After recently telling someone that I "loved them a great deal," and even though the sentiment was returned frequently, the relationship fizzled - but there were other factors such as distance and very different backgrounds. My preference these days ... (read in full...)
Will your nipples look different if you breast feed? What about using a pump...does that help?
Q. If you have a baby and decide to breast feed but you don't want your boobs to start sagging or your nipples to look funny, can you just use a breast pump, will that prevent your nipples from looking so different??...
A. 22 August 2008: In my opinion (a man's), the aftereffect of breast feeding tends to either do nothing, or may result in slightly enlarged nipples afterward (a good thing to most men). In most women, it seems to do little at all, as they return to pretty much as ... (read in full...)
Is there an age where women enjoy the best sex, also when do men and women lose their desire for sex?
Q. At what age do women have the best sex? At what age do men and women stop wanting to have sex?...
A. 22 August 2008: Good question, and maybe (at age 60) I'm one of the elder advisors here. Not necessarily any smarter, but with about 46 years of trying.
My fairly extensive readings have said most studies claim that men peak somewhere in the late teens through the ... (read in full...)
How can one virgin really turn another virgin on?
Q. Hey guys. Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we plan to have sex soon. We both really want to but I'm sensing he is a bit more nervous than I am (because he says he wants it to be really amazing). Do you have any advice about how I can ...
A. 22 August 2008: Both "lexilou" and "DiovanLestat" have provided excellent advice here. I tend to cut-to-the-chase except when trying to describe specific techniques. The first time, it will be "truly amazing" for him, but probably less for you because you may not ... (read in full...)
How is losing my virginity going to feel? And what steps do I take to move it to full on sex?
Q. hi there im 16 and im gunna have sex with my boyfriend at the weekend, im a virgin and have only ever kissed a guy before. i dont know what to do nd hes really experienced and knows alot bout sex and positions but i know nothing whatso ever, wh...
A. 21 August 2008: The best "position" for you to assume is, "No, not yet." ... (read in full...)
I need to know more about masturbation
Q. OK this question is a little embarressing...I'm only 16 and i defeinitely want to wait to have sex till i'm married but i want to try masturbating..is that bad? Do girls my age do that? Is that normal? Also what about vibrators?..i dont know much ...
A. 21 August 2008: It is well known that professionals regard masturbation, at your age and even younger, as perfectly normal for both genders, regardless of sexual inclination. In fact it has been studied extensively and is considered a preferred activity for teens ... (read in full...)
I'm a young guy with sexual problems. My girlfriend is getting frustrated. How do I fix this
Q. I've been having sexual problems lately. I've been with this woman for 4 years and never had anything like this happen, but for the past two or three months or so I've been going soft during sex and sometimes we have to stop altogether because I ...
A. 20 August 2008: I'm not inclined to believe that you need medical help at this point, as "LonelyButNotAlone" suggests, but you are indeed a bit young to be experiencing such a problem. As suggested, stress can certainly affect the situation. It can build and build ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend betray me by masturbating? I want to end it!
Q. Dear Cupid , I just caught my boyfriend masterbating I feel like if he has betrayed me. I ask him if he doesnt like our sex but he answers that he does. So why does he do it. It makes me feel like i dont mean nothing to him. do you think that its...
A. 20 August 2008: It is absolutely normal that most everyone masturbates from time to time. Don't you? Be honest. ... (read in full...)
Are we too young to have a baby even though I'd drop out of school to support her?
Q. Hey i am 15 and my gf is 14. The other day my girlfriend said she wanted a baby. I was shocked at this but also happy because it means she loves me enough to wants kids. We spoke about this some more ans she is serious. She also says that a ch...
A. 20 August 2008: Oh my goodness. Please, please listen. Yes, you two are way too young for this. It will change your life forever, and you only have one life on earth. You may not even finish basic schooling, much less obtain an advanced education, so you will ... (read in full...)
I need a sex position that works for me (and doesn't involve me being bent over facing the floor!!)
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about 4 months now ( been together for 7) and as we got closer i explained that i only orgasm when my clitorios is rubbed etc.. so now my boyfriend has become obssesed with having sex doggy style as this ...
A. 19 August 2008: Just to add to "Dr. Phil's" suggestions, you could also lay on your sides with him behind. Lift one leg upward a bit and either of you could add the desired stroking. No 'Yeehaaa!' is required with this one. ... (read in full...)
We are first cousins, and I was told there's a huge possibility that we would have abnormal babies. Is this true?
Q. Hi dear, I am in trouble and if anyone knows about this can you please reply to me back as soon as you can. My problem is that someone told me few days ago that if we marry our cousin (kids of two sisters) there is a huge possibility that we ...
A. 19 August 2008: You should consult a doctor or other qualified professional, in my opinion. It has long been considered that the genetic similarities between close cousins might result in abnormalities, sometimes serious, in the offspring. The possibility is ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 19 August 2008: The anonymous reader below appears to be promoting commercial products that are unneeded. It is a bogus post to DearCupid.... (read in full...)
A rant on the "battle of the sexes" crap
Q. I'm know for over analyzing and going through things and changing my mindset and either understanding things better or getting more confused. On thing that whenever I think about it leaves me both more confused and with clearer ideas is the whole ...
A. 19 August 2008: Yeah well, there are a boatload of men and women who accept the selfishness, shortcomings, frailties and inadequacies in each other and still love each other. We fulfill the needs of each other, despite lingering complaints, and somehow end up ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that we are having oral sex at our age?
Q. Me and my Girlfriend have been dating for about...5 months now, and the other day she gave me Oral, we were both fine with it, we didn't feel bad or anything. Is it bad that at my age I'm having oral sex? We've both discussed actual Sexual In...
A. 19 August 2008: Well I would be a hypocrite to say that you are bad or wrong, because I had done more than that by age 14 - and that was (good grief!) 47 years ago. Now in retrospect, would I do the same again if I could return to an age of prior innocence? Yea, I ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 18 August 2008: You should think of the G-spot as part of the clitoris and, in fact, all the sensitive parts of the vulva are really extensions of the clitoris. Think of it as a package. You can stimulate both primary areas, the clitoral bud and G-spot, at the same ... (read in full...)
I'd really like to give my partner a G-spot orgasm, can you give me tips?
Q. i try to keep things interesting with my partner sexually. We have a great time, and are really into things. Some of the ideas we've explored were blended orgasms, "jewel honoring", tantra, and other esoteric ideas... But I was wondering about so...
A. 18 August 2008: If you will accept some thoughts from an older man who has some experience, here are some realizations on my part. You apparently would know that this so-called G-spot is located approximately two-three inches or a little more inside the upper wall ... (read in full...)
How do you french kiss?
Q. I av no idea how 2 french kiss, nd i'm scared i'll bite my bf tongue if i do....can u give me some advice? Its urgently needed....
A. 18 August 2008: Please promise that if we tell you how to french-kiss, you will practice it for at least three years before you progress to more advanced activities. Sure, well anyway, the best so-called french-kiss begins very soft and gentle. Rather than a smooch ... (read in full...)
Why do males climax quicker than females?
Q. I am really curious of this, but why does it take a women so much to climax, but for a guy, it doesn't take that much work? Am I right or wrong?...
A. 17 August 2008: In my opinion, and based on studies, reading and experience, women simply "heat up" much slower than men. For instance, the 1994 University of Chicago study, "Sex in America Survey," revealed that men orgasm during intercourse much more consistently ... (read in full...)
I can't deep throat likew his ex did. What do I do?
Q. ok this is sorta embarrassing but i give my boyfriend blowjobs alot right, but like i cant completely have his penis in my mouth...i can deepthroat, but it'll make me want to vomit if i do. but me and my boyfriend were talking about what he did with ...
A. 17 August 2008: While I fully agree with others that neither you nor your boyfriend should be making comparisons between you and his ex, some girls can relax their throat enough to do as you explained. As a heterosexual male, I wouldn't know how, but I do know that ... (read in full...)
I lose it when she is on top. How can I fix that?
Q. I am having a huge problem. I have been with this girl for a while, and we are very close. However, lately sometimes when we have sex, it only works when I am on top of her. When she gets on to of me, I lose it sometimes. This doesn't happen all the ...
A. 17 August 2008: The advice from "anneon" is good, but another factor is that a guy sometimes feels a bit "smothered" when on his back, depending on the girl's position. It happens to me particularly if she leans over on top and puts weight on my chest, then an ... (read in full...)
Guys! Does the head of your penis feel uncomfortable when touched?
Q. Question for the guys: I know that the head of a penis is very sensitive. But, when touched, rubbed, licked, or otherwise, does anybody else feel an uncomfortable sensation? Last night when my partner performed oral sex on me, the "head" area felt...
A. 17 August 2008: A few men have a specific "spot" usually near the head of their penis that contains almost all of their sensitive nerves. It is somewhat an abnormality, and according to my readings, fairly rare. But since you report that your difficulty has never ... (read in full...)
Masturbation: There's got to be more to it than this!
Q. I need a bit of advice regarding masturbation. I stared masturbating about 5 years ago, and I do not have a problem in reaching a climax. However, when I reach that point when my body starts shaking and my toes tingling, I don't know what ...
A. 17 August 2008: Soekie, as an older man you may or may not regard my input, but years of experience with women may mean something. There is some confusion in that you say, "I do not have a problem in reaching a climax," then you say, "I would usually just quit and ... (read in full...)
Guys! Does the head of your penis feel uncomfortable when touched?
Q. Question for the guys: I know that the head of a penis is very sensitive. But, when touched, rubbed, licked, or otherwise, does anybody else feel an uncomfortable sensation? Last night when my partner performed oral sex on me, the "head" area felt...
A. 16 August 2008: Never been a problem for me, thank goodness. I'm confused how penile attention could feel anything less than desirable stimulation with only a bit of a tickling sensation. ... (read in full...)
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