A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 22 years old. i met my husband when i was 18 and he was 27. he was my first in everything. we've been together for 4 years and married 1 out of those 4yrs. i love him with all my heart, but lately i started noticing changes in myself. it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but i don't know what to do anymore. before everything was just fine, but lately i haven't been enjoying our sex life. i want to have sex all the time and think about it all the time. i want to have more aggressive sex and he is more mild. we talked about it and he said that he will try but it's not good enough for me. plus i want to experience the feel of a bigger p...s. he is not big and lately can't keep it up all the way until i come or when he does, he doesnt last long in order for me to come. before it was good, it wasnt a problem for him to get up and go couple rounds, but now it's different. he is not fit, and i want to experience with a fit guy. he is a really nice and caring person and i dont want to get a divorce but i don't know what to do, i love my husband but it feels like i want to experience more. please give me some advise on what should i do :( thank you in advance
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): I don't think this would be as big an issue if everything else in the relationship was running fine.
It sounds to me like he's not very romantically exciting to you these days. "I love him but I'm not IN love with him." Marriages don't stay together because nobody wants something else. They stay together because the two people decide that they want each other more than any of the other things they're giving up for it.
You say he's not very fit - this can make a BIG difference in sex life. More than a lot of people think.
If you're pretty fit and he's not, then you need to talk to him about it. He may never be naturally gorgeous, but it's within reason for him to be putting a decent amount of effort into maintaining himself. Especially if he has changed for the worse since you first got together.
If you're both out of shape, then you have less room for demanding him to change unless you're willing to do it along with him. (Fitness can make a great couples activity though.)
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 I agree maybe he is feeling a little bit pressured, you are obviously at a sexual peek at the moment and he is not. There are so many things you can do to spice up your sex life, act out fantasies etc.
If you do go out looking for a bigger one who knows how many men you will have to sleep with before you find one, you might find most blokes are average like your husband or in fact even smaller. My husband is well endowed and yes its a nice bonus but I had previous partner who barely measured 4 inches when erect but he still managed to satisfy me, I usually went on top as I got more sensation and feeling of depth that way.
If you love him with all your heart as you say then you need to find ways round these problems not cheat on him x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (8 August 2008):
 The most important thing you said is that you "love him with all your heart," and that he is really nice and caring. First of all, think about what it will be like if he is no longer in your life, and we will get back to that shortly . . .
Now it is also important that you are presently not satisfied with your sex life - at least not as before when the excitement level was more intense. Fair enough, mainly because you are presently at the height of hormonal womanhood. In years to come, it is almost certain that your sexual desires will ebb and flow - sometimes even subside a good deal. But if you now damage or end your relationship with your marriage partner, just because you think that another guy's larger member sounds exciting, then what would that accomplish? I would suggest that it ruins the relationship with the loving and caring person you married, all over a few potential orgasms. And a better endowed male does not necessarily mean better love making.
You do not mention whether your sex life with your husband includes cunnilingus - clitoral oral stimulation - but if not opposed to it for some reason, this is something that can greatly spice up a woman's enjoyment of sex. In my opinion, it is possibly the primary missing ingredient in the lives of many male-female relationships, simply because it can greatly intensify sexual pleasure for a woman when properly applied - usually resulting in multiple orgasms.
So, you married a loving and caring man whom you "love with all your heart." Perhaps he is not as "fit" as before, and not as well-endowed as some men, and you decide to end the relationship because you think that size matters. Well I disagree, but you will be starting your life anew without the person you love in your life anymore, when a little experimentation and adventure between you could totally solve your problem.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 Hi,
It seems like you married a little early if you ask me. You probably needed to play the field for a few years but instead found your true love early in life.
Now you have some very awkward decisions to make. For a start I'm sure your husband is really feeling the pressure in the bedroom, so this will undoubtedly be affecting his performance knowing that his wife is not being satisfied.
Secondly, if you want a big penis then you simply have to go out and buy a sex toy which is big enough for you. You can even get your husband to help you along when you are using it( plenty of guys do this!) . Surely this is a better proposition than going on the hunt for a bloke with a big willy.
The upshot for you is , if you love your husband then you should work together to spice things up, if you are having second thoughts about your marriage that is a different thing all together and you will need to think about your future. But these cravings and yearnings sound like fantasies, and any couple can live out their fantasies in the privacy of their own bedroom, some just need to be coaxed along .
Good luck
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