My girlfriend thinks I should "let her off" and allow her to cheat!
Q. My girlfriend confessed to cheating on me by saying that she's developed feelings for another guy, who also happens to be an old friend of mine. He knows that i and her are in a relationship but even then she was attracted to him after he said that ...
A. 9 September 2010: It is possible to have an open relationship - where both parties are able to have sexual encounters with people other than their primary partner - without either person considering it cheating. But, it requires a lot of open communication, and ... (read in full...)
How can I be a good 'mother' and sister to my brother?
Q. My brother is 11 and we were very close before I had to take guardianship of him because of our mom's alcohol/drug abuse. I'm finding it really hard because he gets upset at me now because I'm having to set rules and be the "parent". He says tha...
A. 19 April 2010: That's a tough situation. Your relationship with him will never be what it was before, so I think you should focus on making the best out of it now. Just because you have to take on a parental role doesn't mean that you can't still be close t... (read in full...)
I love him as a person but there's no sexual spark!
Q. Is it right to stay with someone who you love very much as a person, but the sexual spark isn't there? I love him and want him to be happy. I know my being with him makes him happy, but he is happy with me just being there. I want so much more, like ...
A. 19 April 2010: Break up.
If you break up nicely now, perhaps 6 months down the line you guys can be friends again, which is all you basically are now anyway. One of my best friends now is my ex from about 5 years ago, so it can happen if you're both mature a... (read in full...)
Have I lost my chance with him?
Q. i really like this guy and it was all good at the start of the school year till i got evil looks off another one of his close friends who is a girl. i stopped talkin to him and something bad happened between them but now i talk to him again. ...
A. 19 April 2010: The only way to know is to ask him what this girl means to him - find out if she's a girlfriend, or just a hook up buddy.
If he has a girlfriend, there's a good chance they may break up soon, but you shouldn't wait around. Go out, meet new guys... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to leave me if I don't fix this !!
Q. [Mod note to poster: could you please clarify your age?] I keep messing up with my boyfriend! We have been dating about 10 months. He loves me a lot. And I care about him more than anything. The problem is I can't concentrate and I am so distra...
A. 19 April 2010: Many women are more affected by their relationship status than men are (for instance, women are more likely to have health problems and visit the doctor than men are when their relationships are upset.)
Additionally, your boyfriend is not helping ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep this violent abusive man in my life?
Q. Why do I feel a certain way when I break things off with my boyfriend who has a violent history, short tempered and had cheated on me in the past. I'm a single mom of two boys 15 and 9 and I left the kids father who was the opposite from my ...
A. 19 April 2010: One of the problems with abusive relationships is that they're exciting. You're on an emotional roller coaster, with high highs and low lows, and the high highs are addictive.
You need to get this man out of your life - you're in a dangerou... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm girlfriend material
Q. im 19 and want a boyfriend im fed up of feeling alone. when i go out i do get boys coming up to me and do text them for a while but it never comes to a realionship and i always feel worse when this happens. what do i do wrong? or am i not girlfiend ...
A. 19 April 2010: Well, first of all, everyone goes through periods of having bad relationships particularly in their teens and early twenties. Try not to take it too personally - many of the guys you're dating probably aren't boyfriend material.
But, if you're l... (read in full...)
My friend is using me and lying.
Q. i have a big problem i met a guy at work a year ago we quickly became close friends and i really like him but havent done anything about it. his wife left him last year and he was emotionally fragile. i have been there for him and counselled him and ...
A. 18 April 2010: Unfortunately, some of the most charismatic people are sometimes dishonest. It's probably part of his desire to impress you - he tells you all these lies thinking you believe them, and think he's wonderful. You need to accept that you can't ch... (read in full...)
Was I just her comfort blanket?
Q. I hope I can get a few answers or reasoning from people who read this as it's come to the point where its on my mind too many points during the day. I have exams in a month and I just want to not think about it anymore. Not sure how to start this ...
A. 18 April 2010: So, people have issues. All people - girls, guys, me, and you - but some people have them worse than others. It sounds to me like she liked you, but she's not in a place to start dating right now. Perhaps she thought she was when she asked y... (read in full...)
Girlfriend watches cartoon porn, is this normal?
Q. Ok I'm in a weird situation. Both me and my girlfriend are 14 and we both love eachother. We've been going at it for nearly 6 months now. 2 weeks ago she admits to me that she looks at porn. This itself seemed very odd since I don't often hear...
A. 18 April 2010: I'm sure a ton of guys would be totally jealous of your situation and would love their girlfriend's to watch more porn. I watch porn, I have girl friends who watch porn (one of my female friends just sent me a link to a video of her "ultimate fa... (read in full...)
Update from post "Can my husband sue?"
Q. I wrote a post earlier regarding my adulterous affair and questioned if my husband could sue my lover...now ex-lover. Instead of suing, he did a background check on my ex-lover and found out that he was married. He found his wife on a social ...
A. 11 April 2010: You need to forgive yourself for this affair. You are blaming yourself so much, that you can't even figure out what to do.
We're put in a difficult place in this society - you have to repress your natural sexual urges to please your partner,... (read in full...)
I'm totally jealous and fear that he will ignore me more than he already does.
Q. What would you do if your friend, he always tells this friend that he loves her? Me and Bob are close we have known each other for 2 years now. He smiles at me and I gave him a hug. If I smile at him he laughs and smiles back. This friend of Bob who ...
A. 11 April 2010: Bob may not know you are attracted to him.
I don't know if Bob is attracted to you or not, but you need to indicate that you're romantically interested in him. Perhaps you could ask him out on a date, to the movies or something, and cuddle u... (read in full...)
Is there any hope that I can get back with my ex?
Q. I am still very close to my ex girlfriend. We finished for reasons that were nothing to do with how we felt for each other. I know I definitely still like her and for a while she said we could date again then she said she only cared for me as ...
A. 11 April 2010: If she said she only cared for you as a friend, then almost certainly not.
The fact that you're talking all the time only means that you've fallen into the "friend" zone - she likes having someone to confide in, but she no longer feels romantic... (read in full...)
Husband and shemales
Q. I feel the exact same way.I have been with my husband for 21 years now and married for 15,I also linked in to see his history and my husband is looking at shemale porn everyday,I even found out that befor we made love while i was in the shower he ...
A. 11 April 2010: So, gay men are attracted to men, not to shemales. Shemales tend to attract straight guys who also have a thing for a little dick sometimes (hence, the strap ons.) So, I don't think he's gay.
For what it's worth, I personally would not be that ... (read in full...)
My family thinks I'm a bad parent!
Q. I have 3 sisters, all of us moms. I have 1 son who is 19 and still lives at home. Ever since the time he was born my family has criticized my parenting skills. My family all live in a small canadian town, my husband and I move to california before ...
A. 11 April 2010: Man, if I had a 19 year old son, I'd be more upset if he wasn't having sex.
Life can be boring enough, if no one's getting hurt, a little excitement sometimes is okay.... (read in full...)
My ex is blowing hot and cold and I am just confused!
Q. My ex and I were together for 3 years. We broke up in dec. And she started dating her best guy friend almost immediately. I tried to get her back, and slept with her twice in febuary, they were still dating, but ultimately she didn't want to get ...
A. 11 April 2010: I have learned that people will tell you what you want to hear when they're with you and want something from you (sex, attention) but will totally forget about it after they get what they want.
She sounds extremely high maintenance, like she need... (read in full...)
I am 14, my FWB also 14, could he have been abused?
Q. so im not sure what to think, my fwbs (friend with beniffets) he is a player, and i didnt mean to get involed with someone like him, but now i am. and as times gone on, ive realized it not enough for him, he can never get enough. its scary, he has ...
A. 11 April 2010: I'm not sure what this boy's past is like, but you are putting a lot of time and energy obsessing about him and I don't think it's good for you.
He could have a dark past, or he could just be horny, 14, and a jerk.
Either way, if any boy ... (read in full...)
He asked for a break, is it really over?
Q. My boyfriend and I had been together for about a year and a half. He just turned 27 and I am 24. He started his new job about 5 months ago, and we had been in a long distance relationship since then. He would be optimistic about our relationship, ...
A. 11 April 2010: Long distance relationships are very hard, particularly if you have no definitive plans to move back together again.
It sounds to me like a long distance relationship is not an option for you in the long term. I think you either need to plan to ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to tell anybody I am a lesbian
Q. Over the last few years i have been atractted but now i have make up my mind that am a lesbian i know people say how can a 15 year old say she is a lesbian but i have totally no intrest in boys what so ever. The problem is that am too scared t...
A. 11 April 2010: 15 is not to young to be a lesbian at all! Many homosexual people say they've known for nearly their entire lives, and many straight kids start dating younger than 15. If you're not in a community where you'd feel comfortable telling people y... (read in full...)
To blow or not to blow?
Q. Ive done alot of cyber sex in my day (not too proud either) and lately a guy that i have been talking to for several months now is talking pretty seriously with me as in a relationship...we've never cybered but we do talk openly about sexual ...
A. 23 November 2009: I would suggest not doing it.
If he wants sexy pictures of you, you could wear a skimpy outfit, or masturbate or something (and blur or cut out your face if you were nervous about anyone else seeing it.)
But, it's sort of hard to bur out your ... (read in full...)
Do men feel the same way about dating as women do?
Q. I have enjoyed reading the posts on this site. I am wondering in the dating world, do men or women have an easier time finding a mate? I am curious what men and women think on this topic? Personally, I have always found it hard to meet a man, I f...
A. 23 November 2009: I think it depends on goals. I think that for people primarily interested in just sex, women have an easier time. However, I think that to find an emotionally fulfilling and (possibly) lifelong relationship is difficult for anyone.
I think, r... (read in full...)
My girlfriend dumped me and I'm still devastated
Q. Im so hurt! My ex gf broke up with me on Nov 4 after dating for almost 2 yrs. I always treated her like a princess and loved her like crazy. I found out on a txt msg she sent me by "accident". It devastated me bcuz even though we had been fighting, ...
A. 23 November 2009: You need to let yourself feel everything - stop trying to distract yourself from your feelings. If your sad, feel sad, if you're angry, feel angry. With emotions, the only way out is through.
I can tell you why your girlfriend acted the way she ... (read in full...)
Are there really any good men out there that don't abuse ladies?
Q. There are a lot of evil people in the world. I was abused from the time I was 3 years old until I was 15 years old. I am 41 now. It seems like the abuse never goes away. In my life I always meet men who abuse me. I have been through a lot in ...
A. 21 November 2009: There are definitely good men out there. Unfortunately, you seem to be missing them. I don't know what circles you travel in, but it may be time to go try a few new things to meet a different sort of man. Also, it may help you to take a self d... (read in full...)
Lately I've been paranoid about my long distance relationship
Q. Lately, I've been really worried about my boyfriend. I feel like I have an unfounded fear... a couple of weeks ago I tried to break up with him and after I started talking to him I realized that he really does love me when previously I had been ...
A. 21 November 2009: Unfortunately, in a relationship, sometimes love just isn't enough. It is very difficult to be in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't do phone calls. I think that you are interpreting a different sort of unhappiness as "... (read in full...)
He's a great guy, but I'm still afraid of being used for sex
Q. me and my bf are together since 8months, though i went away to university and haven't seen him for these last two months. when i was there, we used to kiss and he gave me oral too. i tried to give it to him but couldn't. he is the most amazing ...
A. 21 November 2009: I think you need to figure out what *you* want. You feel pressure from your boyfriend, pressure from your parents, pressure from society, but nowhere are you really considering your own feelings. But, what do *you* want? It sounds to me, fr... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of his past! Will I always feel this way?
Q. I grew up in a very religious home (no sex before marriage). I grew out of my religion, but my health kept me from having fun. I've met a great guy, (who i lost my virginity to at 23) but he has a lot of experience, with the pics to prove it. We've ...
A. 21 November 2009: So, apparently women hit their sexual peak in their 30s so don't worry about losing your virginity late - you got lots of good sex time to look forward to! As for the mix-matched past, normally I'd say "just ride with it and pick up a few tips" e... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 21 November 2009: That is a tough one, particularly since the baby is so young. His new girlfriend has absolutely no right to intrude on your life, and you should tell your ex that you don't want her around or he won't get his visitation rights. And, I think h... (read in full...)
He's 22. I'm 13. How do I tell him I love him?
Q. why did i ever have to fall in love with him? hes 22 and im just 13 its cuz his so cute so nice and is always there when i need help, so nice and polite. i dont know how 2 tell him i need him to know but im afraid he will hate me. what c...
A. 21 November 2009: So, this is a difficult situation. When you're 13 and falling in love for the first time, the feeling can be overwhelming. Well, the feeling can always be overwhelming, but unfortunately when you're 13 you have no perspective. The problem you... (read in full...)
Am I having an orgasm???
Q. The past few days, after school I'd get home and there would be a yellowish discharge in my knickers. I recently found out girls cum during sex. I've never had sex so am I cumming? I recently went to the doctors to see if a discharge was anything to ...
A. 20 November 2009: If you're not having pleasurable vaginal contractions, it's not an orgasm.
Women discharge a little bit of fluid regularly, you'll discharge more or less depending on when you're fertile and when you're going to get your period. All this is norma... (read in full...)
How do I tackle this problem of watching too much porn?
Q. hi cupid, am a young guy of 22. i have a serious issue that disturbed my life sometimes and trying to stop this but it's just like pouring water on the stone. I have sexual feelings whenever I see a woman naked or watch a porn movie not only that, ...
A. 20 November 2009: Wait - you're worried that you get erections and are attracted to women? Most men tend to get more concerned when these things aren't true.
The only thing I'd suggest, is varying your porn up so you don't get used to one type of woman or one type... (read in full...)
The ex or the new guy?
Q. Tonight I have set up a date with a person I met online approx 3 weeks ago..We hit it off via phone and we text when we have time. He has his own business so he works long hours, but he finds time to date. He is looking for that special woman......
A. 20 November 2009: You need to get yourself some confidence - just remember, if someone's willing to go on a date with you, you're just as good as them. If you don't have confidence, pretend like you do.
Don't cancel. Go on your date - remember, you're super aw... (read in full...)
Getting it up (first time)
Q. Hi people, I have a concern I'd like to get input on. I'm 18-22 and a virgin; I was about to have sex several times after making out but every time I couldn't get a full erection, or of I did, it fell off quickly..I just didn't seem to be that ...
A. 18 November 2009: You know, I've taken quite few virginities in my time (4) and your problem isn't actually that uncommon - even a few of the more experienced guys I know have lost their erections with me at some point, or come early. (And it's not that I'm freaky, ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change everything about myself!!!
Q. I'm 19 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a baby together but I'm not sure if he still loves me or not?? He tells me that i need to change and dont know what i need to change?? When i ask him he tells me "everyth...
A. 18 November 2009: If he had a few specific habits he wanted you to change, that would be one thing, but to tell you to change "everything" is cruel.
He may still love you, but I don't think it's healthy for you to stay with him. Relationships take more than lov... (read in full...)
Confused about what's going on with my relationship...
Q. I've known this girl for years and she's my best friend n all. She recently wanted to give us a try n 2 months into it I'm just not sure about my feelings! One minute I'm like yes I want to be with her, then the next minute I dont. Small things ...
A. 18 November 2009: It sounds to me like you're psyching yourself out a bit. Probably because you've been friends with her for a while, you feel this obligation to have a really serious relationship with her. You're in a strange place, because although you are very ... (read in full...)
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