A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! i am 21 years old and i got marry a year ago. i am having a bad time with my husban, he is a good man, but i don't feel like we are connected. he never say anything mean to me, but when we are with his friends he kind of ingnore me. everytime we go out they come with us. he has been like that since we start going out four years ago, i was ok before, but now it bothers me. i have been very mean to him lately, i don't want to be like that but i get angry very easy and i cannot control myself. i also remember when we were dating, that one time we went to a movie with his ex,and he even invited her to go in my car.they do not talk anymore, but they use to hang out a lot before when me and him were dating. he always says that she is his friend. another things happened, but i was younger and i did not have that much experience, now i am full of anger, and a little thing that he does it makes me really mad, i do not know what to do. can u give me an advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): My advice is that you tell him how you are feeling. You are hurting both of you by bottling everything up inside. Sharing things that bother you are just as important as sharing things that you like. Both creates intimacy. Your anger will eventually cause damage to your relationship. I suggest you talk to him soon. I also suggest reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book really helped my marriage. I hope you get things worked out.
A
female
reader, paisley07  +, writes (30 July 2008):
Hello. First of all, I would tell him how you feel. See how he reacts and what he has to say. Since you two are married, I'm sure he'll make an effort to make things better. Tell him you want to spend more time alone with him. Try not to get mad no matter what he says. I used to get so angry with my boyfriend and it was really bad for our relationship, we grew further apart. You need to show him that you care without getting angry. When you get mad at your man and start yelling at him, it doesn't do anything. If your husband invites your friends to join you all of the time, then just refuse to go with him. Make an excuse to get out of it. That's not cool that he is ignoring you and it sounds like he wants to be with his friends. Give him space to be with his friends while you do your own thing!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 July 2008):
 As you continue to mature, it sounds to me like you will become increasingly unhappy and dissatisfied with this relationship, but know that we all make some errors along the path of life. Best advice: Speak up, tell it like it is, make reasonable demands - and if still unsatisfied, make necessary decisions for your own good. Always put your personal welfare and happiness first. You deserve it, just as all of us should enjoy in life.
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