A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a girlfriend who was really nice to me, gorgeous, independent, smart (college grad), never asked me for material things, cooked for me, took care of me when i was sick, there for me when i needed her, faithful-- and i never made time for her. i blew her off and never thought about all the little things she did for me. she left me last week cuz it hurt her that i wasn't there for her and i let her go... bdo you guys think i made a mistake? /bsometimes i think she was a dime, and bit's hard to find girls like her.../bbrbrI was so busy with my work, I just didn't think she would leave me... i really like her, and it would kill me to see her with someone else, but I have been doing NC since the breakup. I am just afraid that i'll lose her forever though. I just wish she would wait for me to get my work in order.brbrwe argued a couple of times about the spending time thing before, and i always told her it will get better, but i never made any attempts to make it better. i started blowing her off more, dodging her calls, etc. until she finally initiated the breakup. i was so focused on working that it didn't hit me until now when i realize how good she was to me and what i lost. I don't know why I treated her so badly; maybe i didn't want to get too close, but I didn't think she would leave me either.
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Its your own stupid fault really. You cant expect someone to be there for you and do things for you all the time yet give nothing back in return. Girls have feelings too
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Okay, so I was very brief - as usual - with my assessment, Now, what follows is your possible redemption with this girlfriend - and my suggestion differs only slightly from the other good responses. As "xray2112" noted with excellent advice, you need to make your woman part of your life and nearly equal in importance to your work life - if not more so. In reality, as you will learn, your career is lifelong, while love interests may be various, but loneliness is a bitch. If you ever marry, your woman and subsequent family must transcend everything else.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): I disagree with all the ppl here who say you should try to get her back. You don't actually want to be with her right now. You want to focus on your work. You're just worried that you'll lose her, and you're right - that's a real possibility. But it's a risk you're going to have to take, unless you ACTUALLY decide that she's more important to you RIGHT NOW than your work, or at least that you're willing to actually contribute something to this relationship.It sounds to me like she's a wonderful girl who you don't want to give up, but who you aren't actually prepared to keep, so you'd rather keep her on standby. And that's a shitty thing to do. If you call her up and try to win her back, she might fall for it, but seriously, if you have any decency, you won't do that. The biggest mistake I see here is that you didn't just let her go when you realized you guys were at a different place in terms of where you were in the relationship.Trying to "win her back" is a move that's best saved for when it's someone you really can envision a future with - not just when the temporary pain of a break-up seems like a pain in the ass that you'd rather avoid.
...............................
A
female
reader, Destiny28  +, writes (1 August 2008):
Wow....
I think you should try to get her back!!! You have to change your prioritise in life. You will probably have to prove to her that you really want this and she might be reluctant at the start however give it another go you will never know unless you try.
You have no idea how many women are out there that would wish that their men or ex's would come to their senses the way you have... I happen to be one of these women... n if my x came to me with that outlook and realisation I might actually give him a second chance.
Don't blow your chance this time...either way it goes good or bad .... try but make sure you are really ready for this!!!
Good Luck!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, xray2112  +, writes (1 August 2008):
If you really like this girl, then yes, you made a mistake. A BIG mistake. Obviously she cared a great deal for you and showed you this by all the things she did for you. A lot of things go on (work in your case), that blind people to what is really important, or what they have but it may not be too late for you. Talk to her. Really talk to her and LISTEN. But be prepared to hear all that's on her mind about your relationship. Grovel if you have to but ask her for another chance. Women are as wonderful as they are beautiful, and as long as she sees you are trying, she'll be happy. Just remember though, that a second chance is like tearing down a house and building a new one. You don't use the old pieces, you buy new ones. You can't start new with the way things were. If you think she's great now, just wait until she sees you giving back what is given. As for your work, make time for her and she'll be beside you all the way in your work. Good luck to you my friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 August 2008):
 man! so that's the reason why you guys never call us back..return our text and appreciate everything we do.
(UNTil we leave your asses.) It's because you were afraid to get too close.
I never got that.
From a girl that's been there. I say ..get on your knees and apologize and vow to never treat her like that again.
But only do that if you plan to change and treat her right the 2nd time around. She probably still cares for you.
A relationship takes two people.
Trust me..girls like that are hard to find now a days and if she's one of them..Don't let her go. Be the guy that she wants in a boyfriend.
...............................
A
male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Prioritizing is the key to make your relationship with her successful and to me you did made that mistake. You should have just balance your work life and your life so you and her can be able to spend time together. You need to realize that she has feelings too as much as you have and you if you want her to still be with you, just make sure you try to spend more time with her as much as possible. If you have her phone number or email address, then I suggest that you should talk to her now and straighten things out with her.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Make Time For Her And Prove To Her You're A Decent Guy. When It Comes To Someone Special-Work Can Be Put On Hold.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): your girl is out there single? whats her number because she sounds too good to be true! wifey material i say!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): helloyou have to put yourself in her shoes to understand how she must have felt. she was in a relationship with someone- always giving and always waiting. it must have been really hard on her waiting on your promises of one day making time for her. she done the only thing she could and walked away.i bet she is heartbroken. she sounds like the ideal girlfriend. she stayed with you through good times and bad!right now she needs you to prove to her that you love her and will make time for her. try and win your girl back!others may tell you that you should let her go...but i honestly think that if this girl sounds as good as she does..shes worth fighting for!email her and tell her you still love her and do not want to seperate-send her flowers-take her on a date? ask her to meet you somewhere? make it a regular date night! one evening a week take her somewhere extra special. it does not have to be anything expensive - a walk with ice creams lol? or a picnic? anything. but try for her.how do i know this? because i have been in the same situation as you girlfriend and i wish that my boyfriend had made the effort to win me back.but he never did. i was left gutted and i still am. keep us informed!:)all the bestgod blessfriend
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 August 2008):
Did you make a mistake? As we say in Texas, "Yep."
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Taking for granted and treating "badly" a woman who sounds like a real gem? I'm no rocket scientist, but that sure sounds like a mistake to me. My ex also took me for granted and treated me badly despite my being, so I've been told, a quality woman. Then he dumped me, sending me, indirectly, into the arms of a man who's everything I could ever have asked for and with whom I'm sickeningly happy. Perhaps you've done your ex a similar favour in driving her to end it, saving her from a future with someone who didn't value her. See? There's always a silver lining.
...............................
|
