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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Is it bad that my boyfriend doesn't finger me when I give him a handjob?
Q. is it bad that my boyfriend doesn't finger me when i give him a handjob? he did it a few times in the beginning of our relationship and seemed pretty into it but for weeks now whenever we do anything sexual it's really one-sided and i don't really ...
A. 16 February 2009: Well, despite all the perceived love that you think is involved, what exactly do you not understand about being used by a selfish and self-centered boyfriend?... (read in full...)
Lonely city chick!
Q. I feel lonely. I live in a city in which the only person I had was my bf. I kicked him out a couple of weeks ago and has not come back. We had a family phone plan and I decided to look through our monthly statements and found out he was talking ...
A. 15 February 2009: Do you think that you will ever realize that you are simply being used? And that you like it?... (read in full...)
What is the G-spot?
Q. what the hell??!!1 i just want to know what this g-spot is everybody's tlking about..today is the first day i've ever heard of it and they say guys have it too What is it exactly???...
A. 15 February 2009: You are really too young to be much concerned about this, but . . .
In a woman, it is an extension of the clitoris complex, but located about three inches within the vagina. It is a small area of highly sensitive nerves that, with knowledge and tale... (read in full...)
Cheated on for the fourth time- what I am doing wrong?
Q. I'm single again for the first time in a long time and I'm not quite sure of myself. I've been in a grand total of 3 relationships and they've all ended badly. I'm not sure what it is that I'm doing wrong here I mean I could swear that everytime I ...
A. 12 February 2009: You are obviously choosing the wrong men, but the question is - how and why? Could it be that you base your choices primarily upon who is best looking and/or popular? ... (read in full...)
Why does he get soft as soon as we start?
Q. why does my bf willy go hard when we mess about but as soon as he puts it in it goes soft?...
A. 11 February 2009: Very possibly fear or discomfort about something.... (read in full...)
I constantly think about sex, undressing women, thinking about sleeping with them, stopped having sex as often with my wife, anyway to stop my urges?
Q. Am I a sex addict? Pretty much what's on my mind most of the time is either fucking porn or fucking... I feel I got a problem with it. I've talked to my counselor about it and he said I might be addicted to sex. When I first got with my wife we ...
A. 10 February 2009: In my opinion, you may be addicted to pornography, which can ruin your sex life and relationship. While I know that you probably consider it fairly innocent, it is terribly destructive to your libido and normal relation with the woman who needs you. ... (read in full...)
How do I give oral sex and does it matter if I mess up?
Q. I have been seeing this girl for a while now and I want to move things on, I want to go down on her but I am not to sure what to do or what to expect, will she tell me when she is coming and does it matter if I mess things up....
A. 10 February 2009: PS - The address works if you copy and paste into the search field above, but apparently not online. I don't know why. Again:
www.dearcupid.org/question/what-advice-do-you-have-about-giving-and. html
... (read in full...)
How do I give oral sex and does it matter if I mess up?
Q. I have been seeing this girl for a while now and I want to move things on, I want to go down on her but I am not to sure what to do or what to expect, will she tell me when she is coming and does it matter if I mess things up....
A. 10 February 2009: First, I must agree with all the female advisors below, but will offer slightly more specific instructions since you are apparently of legal age in Great Britain. As "satindesire" and "TalkingFlowers" indicated, success largely depends upon abundant ... (read in full...)
Why do most guys act this way after sex?
Q. Do all guys, or most guys act this way the day after sex? I've noticed this with the past (2) relationships. We have an amazing time, sex and all. Then the next day it's like short answers, small talk, a bit distant, and expects for the girl to be ...
A. 10 February 2009: With some guys, and I can't be sure that this is the case, but once some guys "make the conquest," they then become controlling. Not all men are like that, but I've known some guys to brag how they "have a girl under their control" once they have ... (read in full...)
Very difficult to have orgasm from penetrative sex
Q. It takes me absolutely AGES to orgasm from penetrative sex - I've only actually come once! - and because I don't want to bore my boyfriend or tire him out (I'm not exaggerating, it really does take ages), on the majority of occasions I'll reach to ...
A. 8 February 2009: You'll need to convince your man to supply the foreplay as "rhythmandblues2" suggested. Foreplay may include all the kissing, petting, massaging, breast sucking and licking, fingering, cunnilingus (oral licking, etc.), G-spot massaging, and a number ... (read in full...)
Any opinions on first time orgasms?
Q. During intercourse last night I experienced a tingling sensation which spread up my spine.It was really pleasurable and made me gasp. Afterwards my boyfriend asked if I'd had an orgasm.I'd never experienced this sensation before but said I think I ...
A. 8 February 2009: Your description certainly indicates a close first-time orgasm - note I suggested "close." A full orgasm will probably feel quite a bit more overwhelming - such as the tingling you described, but also sensations such as gushing, warming, vaginal ... (read in full...)
What kind of things could I say to help to turn him on during sex???
Q. Hi I've recently started getting a lot closer to my boyfriend. He's started asking me to give him blow jobs however i've never done one before and i don't have a clue what to do. Are you able to give me any tips on what to do and what feels good?...
A. 7 February 2009: Providing you keep your teeth off the shaft, most anything you do with your lips, tongue and mouth between the legs will feel good. Begin by licking from base to tip repeatedly, then kissing and swirling the tip before taking it into the mouth. From ... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair, help me decipher his sexual behaviour?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am sleeping with a man that is in a relationship with someone else.. Yes this is an affair... He tells me that he doesn't sleep with her often.. I know that its more then I think but oh well.. My question is lately his has bee...
A. 7 February 2009: This could be either, or neither. There is not enough information provided, in my opinion, to suggest. One solution, if he is finishing before you, is for him to provide you more foreplay, possibly including oral. Then, at least you would have an ... (read in full...)
Do women realise this about guys? Is it not true?
Q. To many women think we are playing mind games with them so guys I'm gona have to spill the beans and tell them what we are realy doing. When a guy has a great conversation with you wherever it may be and then all of a sudden seems to ignore you for ...
A. 7 February 2009: Although I'm of an older generation, I think it was more often the case in the past than it is true today, and has never applied predominately.... (read in full...)
How many sleeping partner have you had
Q. Hi im doing a survey about how many sleeping partners (vaginal or anal) you or anyone you know, GF/BF etc, has had? Plz also state how sure you are of yours and your partners number! Plz be honest as there's no need to lie because you can just put...
A. 7 February 2009: Well, at about 60-years-old, I've been around the block many times. Some are just a hazy memory from the 1960s-70s heydays, but most are still quite fresh on my mind. The number really doesn't matter much except that at my age, the experience and ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't have any sex with me...
Q. My husband doesn't have any sex with me. He went to the doctors and he is healthy. He is absolutely cold, no stimulation, or sexy touch does anything to him. He says he loves me and he does not know what is going on. Could the mistake come from ...
A. 7 February 2009: Quite possibly psychological, or influenced by any of the factors "Too Sensitive" suggested, and in today's world there may be additional influences that are at least worth investigation. ... (read in full...)
Do you let him taste his own semen after oral sex?
Q. I'd like to hear from the ladies on this one. As a finale to oral sex, do you ever let him taste your man his own semen? Does he willingly eat when you offer it to him?...
A. 7 February 2009: A really good and naughty session of activity that includes oral typically includes a healthy trade of juices both ways. From one man's point of view, it doesn't bother me. Girlfriends usually swallow it all, sometimes with a water or wine chaser, ... (read in full...)
I have not yet experienced an orgasm, although I have tried. What should I do?
Q. Hello there, I am a seventeen year old male, and I have never consciously orgasmed. I've had several relationships (they were physical, though I remain a virgin), and have looked at porn on the internet for many years, but have never been broug...
A. 7 February 2009: Yes, you're welcome. In sexuality, for both genders, there is something called the "point of inevitability," meaning of course that something is going to happen and you have no way to stop it. That is what happens just before the tremendous release ... (read in full...)
I have not yet experienced an orgasm, although I have tried. What should I do?
Q. Hello there, I am a seventeen year old male, and I have never consciously orgasmed. I've had several relationships (they were physical, though I remain a virgin), and have looked at porn on the internet for many years, but have never been broug...
A. 6 February 2009: You possibly should simply relax your mind about this, because at your age this should really NOT become an obsession. There are at least a dozen reasons that you may be mentally resisting orgasm, perhaps most likely a bit of obsession with lack of ... (read in full...)
Why do guys don't want a relationship with me after sex?
Q. Never had a boyfriend and I'm 20 I feel so alone and depressed because I'm at the end of my rope. I've been kissed I've had sex with guys they never seem to want more than that from me. I watch everyone I know go through relationships: love, loss ...
A. 5 February 2009: In my opinion, you are probably just giving it away too quickly. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone believe in sex before marriage?
Q. Does anybody believe in sex before marriage? I would like to hear your opinions about it.. what do you guys about it?? Do you think it's possible or is it a bunch of bull??...
A. 5 February 2009: Certainly! No sex before marriage is perfectly fine, and above all, undoubtedly the most prudent course in some cases. The problem is, it is no longer the reality to which most couples in the Western World adhere. On the other hand, what if a woman ... (read in full...)
I slept with my boss and now he's flirting with other women right in front of me!
Q. I've been at my job for a while and just over a month ago a new manager started. From the first time we meet i was attracted to him, there was a bit of subtle flirting for a week then we went out one night after work ended up getting drunk and ...
A. 5 February 2009: Unfortunately, you were apparently his passing shag for awhile, and will likely just become backup when he decides. If you would like to maintain his attention, because as you say, you really "like" him, then offer him sexual treats that he may not ... (read in full...)
How can I get big boobs naturally?
Q. How can I get big boobs without surgery or lotions or pills?...
A. 5 February 2009: Getting pregnant works well for awhile, and sometimes lasts, but if not ready for motherhood, weight gain adds some size. Pills and lotions are a sham, and to many men the overall size really doesn't matter all that much. Nice, hard nipples are ... (read in full...)
He left and now he wants me back.. should I trust him?
Q. My ex and I have been together off and on for four years. We split in September because he believed there were some things he needed to do for himself. The only reason in the past for splitting was because he always was confused or had issues to ...
A. 5 February 2009: You can trust him as soon as a mouse trusts the cat.... (read in full...)
I'm stressing out! Am I having an orgasm or not?
Q. Hey guys, This is kind of a personal question, and i wonder if anyone else has the same experiences or not. Since i was about twelve (five years ago) i have been rubbing my clitoris and believing that i have been making myself have an orgas...
A. 5 February 2009: Indeed, I think you are having an orgasm, but there are different degrees of orgasm, and during your life, especially as you mature, your orgasms may greatly increase in intensity. For many, both men and women, it just gets better and better, but of ... (read in full...)
I think I might be sick next time..
Q. My boyfriend has a smelly cock and he keeps wanting me to go down on him, what do I do? I keep wretching - think i may be sick the next time- help!...
A. 5 February 2009: This has got to be poor hygiene in general, possibly genetics, or a matter of simply washing up prior to sexual activities. If his member is in any way unpleasant even after bathing or a wash up, then its possibly genetics. But its only skin. Good ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to consider sex with a single mother?
Q. I’m single. I have been friends with a beautiful woman who is a single parent of three. We had a lot of good times together. A few months ago she moved out of the area. We kept in touch. She said that if I was interested in getting away that I s...
A. 4 February 2009: If I were you, I would just leave all these decisions primarily up to this woman and go with the flow. It would certainly be wise to assure birth control.... (read in full...)
1st time sex and he had a glow on his face
Q. I am just wondering what is that "glow" on my boyfriends face when we had sex for the first time? I'm not sure if you understand what I mean, but I'm just curious what that means, his face just seemed bright and glowing....
A. 4 February 2009: Actually, during sex, in both men and women, a rush of blood heads for the groin area where it is needed. It is blood, of course, which fills the spongy tissue of the penis to maintain erection. It warms the woman's vagina and often swells the vulva ... (read in full...)
Should I wait 5 years for him to leave his wife?
Q. I have been seeing this man for almost three years now. He is perfect. He is kind, caring considerate, attentive, loving, great in the sack the problem is he is married. He has a child from the previous marriage and states he can't leave his new ...
A. 4 February 2009: This is a fairly typical situation with a man who simply cannot be faithful to his wife and family. So he messes around until he finds a single woman, or even an unsatisfied married woman, who falls for him beyond just another romp in the hay. ... (read in full...)
Our sex is horrible and I need more pleasure, what should I do?
Q. Trying to make my relationship work at home I was previously cheating on my boyfriend with a married man but I no longer do that. I love my boyfriend but our sex is horrible 10 pumps and he's done I need more pleasure from him what should I do? Its ...
A. 4 February 2009: Is this really the kind of man you want for a boyfriend?... (read in full...)
How can I grind more?
Q. So i ahve been dating this guy for a while and he has a big(the biggest i have had)penis. I like to grind with my man and i cant really do that with him since he is so big...How can i make the grinding part work??Do i have to be more wet or ...
A. 4 February 2009: Are you riding cowgirl style? Woman-on-top? If not, that is undoubtedly the best way to grind. Lubrication or wetness may help, but natural is usually best. Just require that he heats you up with plenty of foreplay in advance, preferably including ... (read in full...)
Our sex is horrible and I need more pleasure, what should I do?
Q. Trying to make my relationship work at home I was previously cheating on my boyfriend with a married man but I no longer do that. I love my boyfriend but our sex is horrible 10 pumps and he's done I need more pleasure from him what should I do? Its ...
A. 4 February 2009: Umm, good grief. I don't really know any surefire method to inform a man that he is a dud in the sack. It would all have to be very subtle, but one possible way is to hint to the wife of one (or more) of his best friends - who will undoubtedly tell ... (read in full...)
I have Bacterial Vaginosis or Candida and it's really effecting my life
Q. I also have a boyfriend and I'm trying everything I can to hide it from him because I'm too embarassed to tell him... I have been tested for every STD you can think of because I was wondering why I had this (swabs and blood tests)... I believe I ...
A. 3 February 2009: Be very careful about treatment with antibiotics. Strong antibiotics can often create or aggravate the problem rather than solve it.... (read in full...)
Is it worth the risk to fall in love again?
Q. I have a real dilemma on my hands. I reconnected with someone I knew in high school. Didn't date him then, but I ran into him recently at an event. We talked and I was very attracted to him. So, I emailed him and we've been talking over the ...
A. 3 February 2009: In my opinion, you are about to enter uncharted waters and could lose everything. Is it really worth taking that chance when you still may have an opportunity to revitalize your marriage first? ... (read in full...)
What can I do to change the taste of the pre-cum or make my wife like it?
Q. well my wife does not like the taste of the pre-cum and stops right there. what do i do to change it/make her like it?...
A. 3 February 2009: The pre-cum contains some natural lubricant, and perhaps that adds some unpleasant flavor. I don't know, but some girls like to wipe it away before the ejaculation. Sperm and semen are typically rather bitter, very salty and/or otherwise not too ... (read in full...)
Problems during fellatio, any ideas?
Q. well my girl has a problem in giving me a blow job. she likes to suck,rub and perform the whole foreplay. but wen she sucks the head I am not climaxing/dont even feel like I am gonna cum but then she says she gets a very salty taste. I am confused! ...
A. 2 February 2009: Yes, she is almost certainly tasting pre cum, which is semen combined with some natural lubricant normally intended to aid intercourse. It usually just precedes your ejaculation, so I think that you are probably getting close. Sometimes it is ... (read in full...)
I have Bacterial Vaginosis or Candida and it's really effecting my life
Q. I also have a boyfriend and I'm trying everything I can to hide it from him because I'm too embarassed to tell him... I have been tested for every STD you can think of because I was wondering why I had this (swabs and blood tests)... I believe I ...
A. 2 February 2009: Candida, candidasis, vulviovaginal candidasis, or candida albicans, also known as thrush, is a stubborn yeast infection which is fungal. It is an imbalance in the body that often settles in the digestive system as well as the sexual organs, and it ... (read in full...)
Self conscious about the size of my penis
Q. i am 18 and i am a virgin. i have always been self concious about the size of my penis. i dont know if its average or big or anything. lengthwise, it is more than 7.25 inches, almost 7.5 inches and 5.25 inches in girth. i dont know if that would be ...
A. 2 February 2009: Being about the same, I've never had a complaint except from two former girlfriends who claimed that I was too large. My advice: Forgetaboutit !! You're above average. And by the way, any more than that is freakish and uncomfortable for a majority ... (read in full...)
I just want casual sex - but he calls every day!
Q. I'm going through a divorce and it has been a very long time since I have been with a man. Well, my daughter introduced me to her supervisor and I explained that I am just looking for someone to help ease the sexual tension. He calls me almost daily ...
A. 2 February 2009: Well I'm one of the more permissive advisors, and in my opinion, it is perfectly okay for a full-grown woman to satisfy her needs with a casual relationship. This guy, however, seems to possibly be the clingy type. He apparently wants more than ... (read in full...)
DearCupid had over one million people visit the site in January!
Q. I have just peeped at our visitor figures for January 2009, the month just gone, and I'm excited to see that DearCupid passed 1,000,000 (yes, one MILLION!) unique visitors/month for the first time. According to Google Analytics we had 1,040,812 ...
A. 1 February 2009: Wow ! Congrats. Understandable. Folks don't learn this stuff in classrooms.... (read in full...)
I always end up giving my friend oral sex!
Q. I really need some help. For the past year there is this guy that I used to work with. When working together we would run off after work and fool around. Now that I don't work there any more we still talk and I'll go see him on his lunch hour and I ...
A. 1 February 2009: Well, from a man's point of view, you are a wet dream come true. Relatively few men in the Western World, and possibly on the planet, would not treasure a young women showing up on lunch hour to supply oral satisfaction with no strings attached. ... (read in full...)
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